— No, I don't feel like it.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlU7OtFY6W4
— But yes, it will be fun.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjxmYHUdh6
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnD7SEQK52b
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUe2ZBmmDf
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2APPGsALBa
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFEiJtwXCn
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlJIUX4L4D
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNdDoeaqhV
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvdQh2IBi5
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXXdNFa2BZ
I can see by his expression that I have a point.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgwJaZGdup
— Hello, Megan.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gPe20cRqf
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W4KUBJCzB
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnYG2dUTMs
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJ4GReBfng
— At the high school Halloween party.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6Bjlof0U9
— Good idea ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYR8U8mEsVs
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQaU608g8S
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lJH5xITv0
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlbOccvSRT
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPVZJ8Nqra
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxeCb8Z74b
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwCMPeUMsU
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eukd5UStB
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcK0usJWFxY
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuFeoGpvMR
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAy7UrZjbf
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1nEu19dXE
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCHsp6A4jG
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qYdLGrY0b
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The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBcU3hhqHs
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQjGWLZoK9
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNdkawKzRv
Immediately, I grimace.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UWnPHoMr4
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiowzCJksE
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN21rv6Jjn
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0FCCfEByG
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7x7nJBlV4
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj8u9CEoJW
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVL1bTTPRKl
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWtkvALoU2
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYGHRbQ7YO
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsay0OjOcP
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdLAODIkqI
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoYXPxAGFL
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgFevfJ0Gr
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jffdP4EKh
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou9WDPQUAy
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06XXVL158B
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdlqZV8n16
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRS5U4HcA8
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMN6qa1GMQ
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjUWfWdeBx
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqvFKC5LJl
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZkGKlRNbc
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcD7n7zlSym
— Ah good ? What ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eSI0JEvjm
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwOIJzbOHB
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRapAKGOHi
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewGJmpV0zj
— No, but I have never been in love.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWSAdl6FvX
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSd0sfOEMT
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWGhqxT8Va
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc60w3knoMD
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxcP9QdZGe
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT66d88tEZc
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQp7Mnunkp
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On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeAzyGNy1i
— Is my dress okay ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxx7ImTwEez
— You are very chic, admire my father.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMftXyhDOm
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5V7P0XKUCO
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoDzu8rtau
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoraH24h8S
My mother laughs.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbi3L76VziC
— That’s definitely your idea ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1NmnIFyme
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F36RgVunJ
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x90IjIMYI
— Yes, he’s great ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXwRAfddGO
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh1f5DQUY6
— We are just friends.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5cl79DVj5
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UW32CO9q4
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqBZ3YwowW
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw7raAxDI7
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4l6RWdBwH
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgFO33BBlx
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6IhFyTCk2
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafewOEvbkk
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AKzUWwREV
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoVeLZDLSF
— I go ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrjYOAuiGQ
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX5kIB7Mam
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYygoWxlkrk
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMk45RTd5j
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCeiCkmtwf
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXP9yjj5lB
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeY9lGOH0Fl
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqQN9cnEvH
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTRhiRGT9K
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlQVT8Vqmp
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSEedlzOfa
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6366DgAxLC
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFdZarc05f
We burst out laughing.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ184UKrryUF
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9b0Lq3ZEls
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRs0fV0PHa
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4D8gGg1Ht
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe42vKbBg3
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Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvCjrOstbU
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfSIl8xbfe
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoXJ40vctQ
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDd129kOl6
He is suddenly serious.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IpwEZgCQi
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2OlANaNGY
I want to tell him, but I hold back.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogMdrL82HX
Instead, I answer him : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuNi2e5OTu
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUqoKLJ7qV
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8uc1NKVxc
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bGKHjvYdn
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmVfkUN5HB
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzA0HaXowU
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHEKiqEOIu
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIwMmliyrG
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88P4UVIbBz
— Who wants to start ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGYzok2qX5
Jessy and I exchange a look.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOZ7N2gOa5
"Iron, Meg."304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvhSlQnIZe
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvCeFzcQkw
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpae1GSyfK
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucaf3UU0Wg
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGfqywe3y4
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQMqKnU6oJ
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq0h7qvCnR
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dD6pghwXD
— Thanks.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOqMp9IUKj
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrL6m0Q4urM
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3vZogpMKo
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1skXYaXWnu
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRElagagnVK
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwZLg0uuAp
She turns over another card : the Hermit.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ831YWoRkX7
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJd04i7ixV
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKNHtlAnhq
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrjyLMCXBI
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxgDEz4Lzi
She turns over the last card : the World.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTfgqx4ZYP
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqh2Z5l36jN
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LQCXAJiCH
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4ILKvXtv9
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5QoVHYOEm
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKNkmsoL92
— Jessy, are you okay ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7GqtIX3h1
— Yes, very good.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLH3ykPHAO
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0NjMQC2GU
He stops and turns to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXH8tvJ1WY2
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqJT7vGnBu
— It wasn't that clear to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAVClOB9FH
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFeO4ToodT
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZ3HAvQECy
My reply makes Jessy laugh.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6HDVyYMkU
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeR0suk0qH
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCPEcKMd7r
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVHwTk2Ip4
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpxbOoUDSi
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFfUFWbtvO
— You are thirsty ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tRBOlI7pn
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EWOKtejkL
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam5523aWOv
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWl8WaF50o
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpagEtsyR6n
— Come Dance.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKYL12EHmA
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoDROcxrzK
— I thought you didn't dance ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxh0HPR7rC
— I never said that.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79Psue3s8I
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFuPPzzuwC
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8doYeORRv
— What is…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsk1uF44EcZ
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZnW45APVh
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKrBfd7v4G
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJNr5hUhuH
We lean against a car.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKs0rB97aw
— Why are you shaking ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdTxHBXEiS
I question him timidly.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfATHSyMHl
— I don't really want to talk about it.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkQtx7xFjw
— But you are livid ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHw9NPxL3V
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqjylWEmFb
— Agree as you like.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnyyZ98ILK
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rpixwHr4x
— Shall we go back ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDbpv6o89y
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VKmDztj4R
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HWxeRcPpo
— All that ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVpZCVBoLU
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht6le7Io0a
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE90u1FV11Y
Jessy turns to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYjyzw6Heh
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMdE223d2Q
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT2LguCRYz
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTi9DlRF56
He nods silently.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDz1u5ZxLh
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx0UwNJMt2
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjEul5k2Xz
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfEzkeKZ4H
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6baZuLaft
A black car stops next to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtSdPJVkTR
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa337wyxKDp
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPR5ueXpBNh
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavPo4L0x9V
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAS8IVmGnl
— Where are we going ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoZV6Vg5gU
— It's coming ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmyqSKuBNd
— At the cinema ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNVwVlyZki
— Non. 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5Gz8yep5I
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriwqXRud8k
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfntuQIg4z
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdr0HHsLvF
— Your parents won't be worried ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAuM2HkZTa
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xpZ6XFuSv
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2o0FgAgyF
Still want to come ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxc4ZU2QV7
He gets onto the highway.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjUmZZiMt2
— Totally ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQx13G1tom
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCPoI1cGWO
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCitpRcx6O
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkc6hrMePCy
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTNYLzDGAW
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDE4y0gJdf
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK4BP5zPPn
— Is this where you lived ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1arcdE1eB
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8R3N1H7Ml
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDuLBmSWTM
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNllQRnGlSo
— What ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEsPaM4vN2
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSogXX1dN8
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PlVaBz4bx
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ULCcNmu9F
— Come on, let’s go.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0NwIeMxwU
I remain stunned.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaWBjPRXDE
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiCdbwAqtB
He stares at me, his face frozen.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5TNtbaRR4
— I am scared.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu67x6PI98
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpynnnag1Fd
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahUVNVeeiX
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVawa8baS4H
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3sSXKgKPn
— Did it go wrong ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohoeCy1DsH
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeVANXZg5c
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxj43c8apD
— Haley died five months ago.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFp6btnIH3D
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmh1Zgtrlp
— Is that all his mother told you ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x8NGOyYEE
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnHBvf9z5O
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTW11fxbgz
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20SEI3ygws
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNCJZ9jMqP
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuZivZHbOB
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvj7tE4Schc
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3zbBfOirJ
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml832LoWqm
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZdfjs3nWN
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSeJDJ7xV5
Soon his fist is bloody.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PLg1QEQdY
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqfR0jcdLT
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2OcJFFAPG
— For what ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCyA0X4QLW
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tkZX1nDm2
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfU4fNbeLy
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0opflY6OaB
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ouQMapHUg
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSftGGNc3x
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SNakFhMgo
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnWlpsZI8Q
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLO8d7yVA6
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YEXwLIdis
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTp6hovaZY
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyhgddk1BO
— Why do you feel relieved ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ztaKA7afg
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDloW0QJRY
— For nothing, forget it.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrVp86ZKmF
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6iYNOAJQ2
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobGIqSocpY
He looks at me, incredulous.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbVzQe0IaH
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMzMCIQHvn
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9QQnR2pbJ
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFeLi7i4NY
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjftf8FFhbR
— I'm not going back with Chad.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHGU1KPCZH
— It's true ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNZe6Oebc2
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3lBuQfOct
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrkUNIRLLX
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynmiRbFYlE
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZph6JqADg
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTY49IS7SJI
I fiddle with a button on his coat.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53cwRCpLZa
— It's true.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8JPWgZzUf
He purses his lips and says : 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqEIA5EOIS
— Do you want to go out with me ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrk2B4VTQ93
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcS84oVr40
Jessy gives me a big smile.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG370xMD8UI
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmLdmQj3Bu
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGBcnGYAM7
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFUY0nNGQ4
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70sM9rNj7j
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmxVHqYFxY
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtyrGsETSc
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAv8nkI6rn
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTeVGvBxJu
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5rpQpKfb0
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb0kgNhIQe
304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FQcMhb2ba
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SUwOuvGSe
— Where are we ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfYhSqYcQS
— Come with me.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfGysp9RJx
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5egyV4UGd
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsUqX4mJEw
With tears in his eyes, he nods.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPbqx1GvsN
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DCrhTW3jq
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFWfv0oDYB
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyiutAbWjJ
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolIJDRD0IZ
— No, it’s meant for you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPMqClmKRl
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQz97nscvxf
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKvCETwVlI
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Jessy, 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q8tc2jKvY
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBEQnif1ul
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafXg6EzNVu
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZLrBFFdsK
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFBQ6XKv0K
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkyVsmgaBS
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Haley 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNY9hoPrAe
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDT8PXHiWb
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2J3eEMdtv
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpBKl13sbw
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMafYBOUYI
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlw0XQGf7np
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXKBlziA87
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUb1eFJfBLD
He holds out his hand to me. 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmObLCufAa
— With pleasure.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5qQVEhG6F
« I’m on your side 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDivSTzejX
You know I’m not the enemy. » 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpV9SzDzjI
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiS23ZiCVp4
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXytiX9S76o
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxkgSFsmEM
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu41qvtmphP
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0WTZiIb0Y
« I’ll hold on to you. » 304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1glA0mkel
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ3MoDRUZ4
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2nQUa7E6e
