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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbmi8E7Tgr
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXPFWPPMtx
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DwkJ6eYvH
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtlUWD4nhh
— Ok I hear you.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBK0bX74wT
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35uIiLkCHZ
— A tattoo ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u47pTmUPM
She nods energetically.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bQvJrlm9O
— While you are still a minor ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB9nuUUkq3
— Soon to be an adult.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIsti9Em63
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafqsckQBrK
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNJwpEH0oG
— No way ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYXQw2DyZe
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcbH0VkUAd
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLbv0PuUIk
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwv9xdTQHkZ
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIXcXDa2ph
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCri38T9pn
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi7Ra2v5iS
— She’s not a cool mother ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ22FVCOanF
I decide to join them in the kitchen.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9QgbOvwii
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAufbHO5baH
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJeK0BRiTw
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7UxAiJLam
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3Epw8XWyw
My son looks at us, imperturbable.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYziX9utvDn
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINRo7iGCeO
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mzheNYSQk
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkCHeJ4tPj
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNjMeUflin
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1aJMtDlao
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lTgBIag6Q
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5POT6C4lY
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG9Ek28bGF
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJccZjR6Ojh
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdSfnk15OT
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqEnEe5ulS
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurMnjUZkMl
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNlLKnDPkP
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qwYgzqB6a
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYqp6PFfMF
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVQwNIuh2x
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1T0wPR4DN3
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszVpIH7OBJ
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4edmNUy6J6
My father coughs and chokes.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyZy7CEHP6
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYi737w1OLt
I nod yes.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DqiGrT3B1
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeufGa4r5g9
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkoSXjE34A
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMC6guEoJBm
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5OHGeDlbQ
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrLuXy4H9f
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNJ3ImJS0v
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNe5XKYamaI
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QiwYEYZuJ
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1QQaio9Ct
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoznMMzPqKf
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiNo5hHBMN
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmr2GbzeAQ
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CXl7vN8JP
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnG7vBaTPsP
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR17jyiG3gn
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7HuGnb902
— Yes Megan.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJzYhsb7Yr
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1rurn1uVg
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqq7clKCMd
Many raise their hands including the new one.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9cA4DUS7u
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciYifDzMOR
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJYUSXXSG8
— Perfect, Jessy ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5qET9BLbh
Jessy… 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sQRuYcayp
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJn1eiio88
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYkbnRUIw6
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECbBzixQ11
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ035IpTtDSL
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXfVYcVtMR
My cheeks immediately turn red.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYslmoT4EFt
— There is nothing to say.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiO1YsN9ufG
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cNTmxp7Jf
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aC2G7YcuI
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCrwUHTsBB
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCPYDIVltA
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DboqMsO0H
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6H7hj4ONWQ
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtRiflbosF
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNepHp1uwex
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfaipQedH1
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo16SOdApgH
— I learned a few things about him...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KqCUPqv2s
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdngUpi8vqX
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4MIjoHJmx
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXuKpapgtF
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEnwKAQBg8
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrdVfbXMUh
When I don't answer, he continues : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJtM2fxi5n
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQInaHqoRVs
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ49KBzH2z2
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdzAEmZOE6
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOj29bcJ97S
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM8Ew9C6xT
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hZ1v7qC6c
Why am I blushing ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFF9UxG4Eup
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmaKC0xe5W
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2yAbN50wU
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsayQ4yqYPd
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdl7qMx0y1
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM82S3UcSOO
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxtv7s3IZZ
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRTmHNkXsD
— Where were you ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iqjpvPboM
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm79zV0avIh
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡji3dY40No3
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeCnIgItYR
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxqhjYXSsk
— This guy is weird ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkDNNELj6U
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIOfJdJzga
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfVkZIL9Ti
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptdwPWRmwY
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVM4YJpH80o
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBXx4WHsLY
— I am coming with you.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYFzesHGqC
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0OA7vjwto
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pzCUoJL1q
My boyfriend raises his voice.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhISwKwpJs
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5uGhrsmFw
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdchJfPRSeB
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKr0A9mv5C
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhusLWlBk5
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTczXonwQ1
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Or5h8IYwY
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDIdvNntAX
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ISx5fDllC
Having little choice, I accept.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCRFPIaUyY
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMBV6GGznc
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRlMpdRFM4
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeywWjRqmu
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqFHPnYACm
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRJ6gZuat4
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RzDxrd9nA
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRg5b0Pcow
— What are you talking about ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Vc4MyjNk3
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2mv6nF6tD
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g5s1rrTVL
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm89jcgCB2
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIm115T3kyZ
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGJ3s53aaf
— I'm going back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKckPyCp3y
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yCTyiDyvN
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRE57FysNg
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxM1UpgDIg
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HcbOEuo5v
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaqRC5vENu
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdttWnRMKb
— I need to walk...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4bPLO01ag
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNcSu13HSI
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1w2aIjSgQ
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCbXauclqO
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVrRfAJzcA
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyVgdgRsdK
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sVtOIuWge
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5G0PEkAMT
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxaRlPUVbI
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdX5MLB1oi
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzLymwPBAK
I look at him, surprised.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XpxbnSgUF
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LFJI8HvIq
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwKxOmQ7aF
— You're good ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gWM5iz6iV
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXEh7DJPuK
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcAacaoNAx
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxRIgYnrZe
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhzOZK6seT
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWNcE9au9q
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2bet22Vqy
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZXwiZyPYR
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWRKmUJEog
— Did this happen to you too ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEyiurr9Dc
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hfRQphjku
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvg1qYdi7m
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8c8rZiZmC
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGw6mnDXK0
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3j8bqLctr
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt1RmNKyDi
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA23WC4CNMG
— I see in you.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAxWMbkUZq
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEufkDkOWX
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAm1QB722m
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvYNkqstwz
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5hHhR6P70
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuIaLpmiy5
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnS0tVOsplh
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEqrF3NlNz
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycOcntjj3h
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0cATrPO7r
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZUdlbFuQj
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriq1RnWkEV
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr1sxLS0iP
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaYpIBHzxc
Immediately, boos are heard.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVU4B1YmYgC
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAkRGkv9vA
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74LAvOVRHx
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwULPXbZhm
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWzJ40j4l4
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7Lv6UYQTJ
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQpd0I9b44
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOmPc2lNAl
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHMM0j7UEQ
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRukBVSLM5Q
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XWjLtvHuq
— Jessy, wait ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZEXQDfqMl
He slows down, but doesn't stop.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdsF0MnPT2
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh0bgIN1EX
His shoulders relax and he exhales.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzNQghbWP0
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaWcgZla0k
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vEdXMx8y6
— I'm not…424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarpKUUtwqk
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYTKxu6uPd
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsngvyyibOZ
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT7EsIm4Bg
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8Gh6Vfe7a
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7RoSyiDcm
Why didn't I think of that ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOnOlst9Bs
I refrain from slapping myself.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBIUc4K2Ki
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6cigeieRA
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOqkrOk2Z3
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKh3DzUqPP
But what is happening to me ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0Z8TgGfJ9
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S1LdyLxDJ
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeHfDcuUej
What's going on with Jessy ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRtzWb2vXC
Astonished, I wrote : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7upPVZzTr
What ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8Qadv6QQ5
Chad's response was quick : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3zTbpFX82
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyl8kOcx7vl
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qfm5LV7ex
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zMfXTWgVV
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacRQ3ZQB3I
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VUb1GOOZC
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDag2IaGhVf
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJ2CLy6Qhh
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpqucF7yIN
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHROF00ERq4
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzZLulRPCN
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGABqgvxdq
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKH9oxI8MR5
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuPI5eFKtO
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvwx8pY8sh
I am left speechless.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyR4O2iJtF
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t1oPt8ZiF
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3HdcmudFF
— Very often. I hurt you ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA86pXBv5G
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mL4yC6lzT
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcESjseSDGn
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTROrmqgpi
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueJhSBnq4P
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xWmFduJ6E
— Mom, this is Jessy.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI92CMPMDrV
They greet each other.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCmTrMkjTb
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfI9S4kQ8K
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1UQv7Gu4b
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3WJKsAzYU
He shrugs his shoulders.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvPPRoFC86
— I don't want to bother you…424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0zP1q8rMh
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpkO05PMIR
— Nicolas is my older brother…424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xCjMzZOIq
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHUBcTxkKM
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHyfZwphRs
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHdri6F1xD
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwZf6w8cRi
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0REP2vHJ1
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2MKApZ6Hf
— For what ? I tell the truth.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhPnSqWA6a
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLY5t0QoBW
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ruZ5wjnBP
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV84GPVFeQ
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDYXmD8WzK
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNR0jr0eMaQ
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6GJTL1pc7
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdt8aKHCtR
I glance at him sideways, smiling.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3uslwkNUn
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezUyYexFJe
— Not really.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylmUGlgofd
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG85ha3CXDz
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SrvyD2fuM
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8MpnZGxzZ
— You think that…424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvzwNck82n
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvETzjOxq2
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaG3WGnvvxk
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dUcO93OBa
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmuIcOWXQ7
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CI3UFBqKk
— Megan ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB8cilj81b
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcg0Wl1vDAv
— I am sure of it ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5d0U5y8snt
I give him a big smile.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDpMZq8IGw
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclgttNkPXJ
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgNA78zzt6
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsf5MjJrHW
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9X5cNE4Qr
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP8JVXmKKz
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIr2Lk73Wh
— Did you move here alone ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOOqMWtxZq
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXomfd6tYa
— No, I live with my mother.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6E7EaoU7iX
— And your father ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kL0F8Ui8r
— My father died when I was a kid.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u9IeDFmn9
— Sorry.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlv69d804x
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9H6ETHa5J
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QWL5fRiuX
Jessy grimace. 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9vzUGN4H5
— No, they stayed in Allentown.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0JB6YCGTq
— For what ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0uXiQRiYa
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSz6eCmqGz
— Joker ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaRMPAtoIz
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5otZGQx3IY
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7TNWW41n3
— Re joker ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZcqAbjNok
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgmS1yJAMn
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAnvg4cMFg
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdnklUvrpo
Looking serious, he nods.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASf1jkEAQl
— So you’re from Allentown ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUdd5LaGT7
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Zyckpre7J
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGVaoyrsoG
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnsHut7Y8y
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iRiTeqbZq
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA89sX5kiG
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPJqLsV8fa
I blush and lower my head.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gIgTG4NT6
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPCO8v2hdx
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mrJCAvbL0
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DfK3y54Ty
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVN5TTxBBB
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKwxOirgdW
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qFDNmh50f
— You still have ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09Hh2Crxd8
— Well no, we split up...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwVs0gpHVH
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBA8VYhDK0
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwymc63e9L
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuQvm3yiLn
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YsFlLK5sW
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2j5CXksRi
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEFo2Ep01o
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOnquIQaWo
He glares at me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hYMcqbRDZ
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vV4DxVcxp
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPzM3wAFAP
— So where is the problem ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnryMewzm8Y
— I can not do that.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJHsModdiL
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSdFLyHClL
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOIV2jusV8
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5g5kmsnaA
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynyzQd3o9H
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1Tdcbd7eD
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXXEKkuBVE
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcJTE2U4gJ
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtUO1twiwf
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqyDOeo1OQ
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipf1QS5ElM
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr9JV3sfc0
424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOE2nOTYKvR
When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcPWs8nYoI
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQixQshK0x
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcwNOUxpQo
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBaRM88U1v
— Hello ? he says, happily.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyJQaK5ObN
— Nick, it’s me.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytwHqtNmnm
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCck1ZUW7Lu
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yb4x8V6rb
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6deZEuuEF
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9Zri5KB08
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLRNUoxBkZ
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASzAlhynVG
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdVXDVx1Rl
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqfozvEFch
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIvJKlfdmu
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45n0p1bZoB
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bGLgxxKUz
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneSoxOluhH
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqaZmfVmtl
— I wouldn't be able to.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4Wo8tcoZC
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmr7obBJRK
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeVSyfeaYK
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4VXjnE8c1
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcN40zvwQiB
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.424Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3KYAKQgDE
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
