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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRkGgllmZq
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58GBDWMqPB
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtty1QTcoXe
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZF3StwK9F
— Ok I hear you.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAJ69sR78n
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoV6V39FWr
— A tattoo ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKM5uklQ8a
She nods energetically.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGq0ViUyAj
— While you are still a minor ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjOqhyDXgg
— Soon to be an adult.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtyfvanlsu
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxqBTIm6tD
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ju0erSfYe
— No way ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYtovK1b2T
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdErE1KlOC6
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzeOwIyTbt
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep2UQwCn8M
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvLJf8p9d3
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtP9ANfECr
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkN3T7JLAyY
— She’s not a cool mother ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4lMXlQl78
I decide to join them in the kitchen.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKhbz71BsL
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHjjJqBV26
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaCeqJjH5D
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAzWrxGjhn
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOGeP07Swq
My son looks at us, imperturbable.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHScbDdtuI
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNgGKPqZP1
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RINeFQFFN
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPOZoHRMun
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1JsJzfv2H
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMgKdEbHZo
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31g0V62VuM
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OywDmEQEZ
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84Q2b9SCls
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkblMByPEf
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkfsL6It5F
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfVZRDFNmy
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5MVYJR6e0
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIT6vaZ80s
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUOwCTTk9w
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZSKXKyan0
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjO5zrPdqNJ
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYp2hGHASq
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgWQiVdaGh
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGc6Tkreh6
My father coughs and chokes.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijBR48C0yc
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yJCq2Lxcy
I nod yes.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rvJHZz33W
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfc8VdVFEn
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYYhT8eU8E
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQttQUE7okQ
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvauMPsIYP
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4t6l1kBg7
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1248OqRnU
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5Bxl5R8vm
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSInAqHN3h
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeM1ixkfRp
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RVPsbjrE6
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLQBhXXwoe
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeHdRfqAKv
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbV3j7Ge3K2
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnDfCUWyKZ
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8oacsENEn
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojj2SG41QF
— Yes Megan.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTw0uSuLMXz
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXpFjNmchp
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gAyChgfW8
Many raise their hands including the new one.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCN26dgEkV7
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBwbrBqo1L
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKe0Q3CQDH
— Perfect, Jessy ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWYU9kU2Rc
Jessy… 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvtVnq9tnT
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxRUJFgTAf
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qOhSS5qj6
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9AAHc3TEL
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpyRX5rUzy
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtxsZqk7P8
My cheeks immediately turn red.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYsbq5GLwz
— There is nothing to say.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVjoxO0AYt
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfv7iIqytnz
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2QX89Rj9f
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSaCxe5n3W
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Qhefywpbm
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9bGSUb4jQ
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbgGyIEyCC
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYD7qSNz67
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsn567YWKiU
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OBXAztOmQ
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBBmKYtF59
— I learned a few things about him...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66jdsENykH
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvKi6njEFP
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iagJ07VGX
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1N3QiUw1jO
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC6W9lCW6e
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwYo05iUQs
When I don't answer, he continues : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI75Qr2ySCj
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbD20JNxna
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsKJ9tE8mt
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAV8uMxuVL
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9B0PRiZ4N
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgvyx5VYGr
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5tytPSufr
Why am I blushing ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBjVGJZcZj
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKrzO3dPkl
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSt5yl19c0v
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuds1hu4NPL
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdwHWLwakh
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7wEFqSn6O
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUKofEuJFp
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RW3YCrXG2
— Where were you ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJxKrQfOXA
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWjqDCwWxB
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuliyx8nll
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeobhM3fdi9
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdwIeJHFeO
— This guy is weird ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRCvYoGFtN
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk2mc8Uclf
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgQQz0PLSk
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeZJdcuX5m
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlpIq6hutH
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwgXzfWvpm
— I am coming with you.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrySh3CHO8y
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqeRU7j8de
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0BWhqdgaj
My boyfriend raises his voice.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUy5gQbLUL5
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUDdSDIfF6
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMOEieVdLI
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM9Srx2Z1s
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouIiSwXM98
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qqSDnf24o
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP40NKHR3Ez
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7xZ9VS0jQ
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCm68thSqCC
Having little choice, I accept.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FGzDnmE8G
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1NJtM6SSN
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqyev8PaLB
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKmF13v0PM
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1wDK08doQ
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKvgTvc0lP
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFRf6Lhd2v
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfK9SymU1F
— What are you talking about ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXetUH0Ik4I
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztIT9mmr1L
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeggKcCrZvQ
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqvbZ91JsR
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8DNMy8z3J
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10lufKycPl
— I'm going back.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfQHzYLr2x
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefzOhEm6qo
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27RWLGVFF2
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoITOV4RMI
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllEuBQfgmg
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktmLIF4cAy
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96lzKrizD5
— I need to walk...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Cz55iAAHD
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3HBhzSWPn
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jODjvr0fL
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMYeT8giDt
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ437zlj0cIa
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdlTUu4vH1
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RHNPUMrp7
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwE5xxaarn
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcLo1Y5oK5
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWOcNByEAb
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hojLeBvJo
I look at him, surprised.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OcWrF3Uia
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgHwjBEGjf
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgibc0sp0d
— You're good ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhicGLuhULQ
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS3nGHRlPF
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsggy1DPXEV
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGReoInMwE
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLimS9h8AnP
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrcHFvTx9F
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI751BLIzZ7
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOebBSQGEFl
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgeFmUTu2W
— Did this happen to you too ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakn9toSLJl
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CmMQImIGo
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBpsIWCbMd
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKLM2ZUArt
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGmzoJgMe7
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkConk8ZGoE
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXE3xGsdrV
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zqHjJ5eVm
— I see in you.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZocLBIygdw
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4u9x8Gv11u
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fMbRCNxZ8
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SpXNg8LYX
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSOyTFGUNv
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qk0B9VxX5
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKs07hRNnjI
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXheshJLq2
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFzeO5hCTV
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kDRGm6PaU
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIwn2x8cLu
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeyvXpMylV
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQkCdFsWew
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnW9Qqe1Sos
Immediately, boos are heard.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJwwTUVkbk
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1qWt05cj9
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8rYU2SqLO
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaLefTF2M8
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAWmM50Vos
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuZHwAEjyZ
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVLRgvcaF7
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nFIQ9GHr6
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FhWrNDUJc
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd9HMVJTlx
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jj4HOrfS4
— Jessy, wait ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw7fkRYk5m
He slows down, but doesn't stop.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxbhNjXeZW
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfeF54WXD8
His shoulders relax and he exhales.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwghZkERtn
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK90CA97YU
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1y4zAR2WM
— I'm not…423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB2Ej4HKnz
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS8eOSsPPD
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqCjjqUioj
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxVUbt0iye
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuMDPv5xPK
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEZzW6HDqG
Why didn't I think of that ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2TWCoe8it
I refrain from slapping myself.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NAHCVQxod
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6jpo6O8Jh
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznEAZkwgUO
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCh4y2apupH
But what is happening to me ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHew1ldbxAw
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjtWlZO8Wg
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBL8sDLvvw
What's going on with Jessy ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpy0onJ18I0
Astonished, I wrote : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi427FNOU0w
What ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQROV7ZAXi4
Chad's response was quick : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnMxMzaI7y
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1T2L18aPZ
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujBQXVsAt8
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdB64Z9s0s
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTzdhnM09e
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRmMZ2idDA
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhn3dSWe31
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PkY2GoLHr
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFHgThvVII
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ8qJcujo3
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUraaDVxRh
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqk67LAa8m
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3CsQ5BkZa
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRUs7faxKV
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRsVJnUOcR
I am left speechless.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkambzqvNC
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPiBFIlMH0
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8pm5yHLaE
— Very often. I hurt you ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRqh3KZeGX
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLWptajrFp
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ03DocW4j
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2y0WXbQppP
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84bJxUwoHX
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTHoOEOhCc
— Mom, this is Jessy.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYf3yeD70wK
They greet each other.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42R8NTlNhS
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSXZWvFbPd
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaS6x3xrna
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEL08NRNzlJ
He shrugs his shoulders.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Vj0XlKxOq
— I don't want to bother you…423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTijNniDuu
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtScbwRSLtY
— Nicolas is my older brother…423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxDWcqYrE0
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LokO15hzP
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFZiYw0Sme
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrs1QqQMtN
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlIbwN9psh
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh12dPyaeRh
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNBjw39ETM
— For what ? I tell the truth.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaee6YUVuF
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIyuBFgPY4
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFLeaZ4xre
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GwZHtXZbl
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70N5xL9hZI
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUxNlgCagn
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHvyYfz91f
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA573AGHMza
I glance at him sideways, smiling.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJPHaV890p
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8WH7EUM11
— Not really.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BdIhfLrBr
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLKPilZLuS
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTZ9HYZMxK
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYWZjGRuJV
— You think that…423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFQ59CZsM3
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePNZs6yi0z
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2YVTeHzoU
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28ycknFMRd
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVivpon46ax
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2S0X7j0lhd
— Megan ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvhPj4Zy77
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8a4WbCvt3g
— I am sure of it ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrAdSqFeFZ
I give him a big smile.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uQQSg4fXw
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV5e3hjA7q
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTQLKh2avK
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69H6ohpdT2
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKzz7XIlKy
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPET0dpjQxK
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xCescyTcg
— Did you move here alone ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoZAIL81u5
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQf1iZOG2QC
— No, I live with my mother.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhMhQyHLSH
— And your father ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKdYQHmCnE
— My father died when I was a kid.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHC8JsLyIb
— Sorry.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzam6Qpiuo
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLLHghsE5B
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTaMZZ7r6p
Jessy grimace. 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcZ003Bseu
— No, they stayed in Allentown.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRqO5lE0DP
— For what ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXLI4ZVxkN
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8XK8TTYAG
— Joker ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeO0O0L3u8c
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQV0v5DrqRV
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XRXP6iQps
— Re joker ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihcOoZUg7f
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqJXLjPhDQ
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezLTnzP9By
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0OJ53M7NE
Looking serious, he nods.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIFJsaxAvD
— So you’re from Allentown ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkBY3Wajul
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOLSTJJhUm
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWnE1zZtKk
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDvWavplXO
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKXeEoH4Dc
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjzwAPj5GM
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwj1s5RyY9
I blush and lower my head.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡls6h8cLeE4
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9odZDnrkIe
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aYRF9WkQP
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto1FdXda46
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioPnDkIymi
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNNkW57K8Z
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCJyqWxYZp
— You still have ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya9OsDbto7
— Well no, we split up...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyVmp1xB07
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwzF3Vttc2
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsIEAmTAmb
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBMie72NXS
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE09DPdkkn6
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1evnvOSyS
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iOSOUhc5K
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrqB1w4OFN
He glares at me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KvDuifpt7
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmYD4BLOFR
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbdXp0K4ly
— So where is the problem ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaLr7qNykv
— I can not do that.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1B4s9QSY1
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJMEcHa37Y
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAaZtxcrUf
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZS1BY4Nt6q
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCUYxyyW5d
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKyn6STPOW
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFMpXYBxiv
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK7KVmXrOK
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yHrUbtBy0
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp233LAt7rH
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80DO12zyWB
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEknozIK0L
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3XR0QUmqj
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9y76aOPh8M
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vk0iRsDao
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LIzVotUBZ
— Hello ? he says, happily.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtYlENpopm
— Nick, it’s me.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmr9zepIDkM
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlM7lZdKzI8
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhgtNAAcEg
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4k5Hz8rwg
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxIinxcKW8
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KJKqNi00i
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfubOJd7NV1
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQx8dfCWFqq
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc5bVenNnn
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGs0651B9j
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4EACRNv5i
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68tDj1kyGk
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iuPdwrk6W
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymADMikGRF
— I wouldn't be able to.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwFzOwhfpk
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgx90NJpRk
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4dMavmugh
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcO48J2nVda
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3nIQm8uPg
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw28OdDRlI
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
