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Anderson sat in a chair in a dark, deep room, his mind20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBTgJJuyMz
repeating, "What did I say?" His father lay there, mouth open, hands20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d9yAXi3aH
icy cold. He stared at him as if he were bound to a chair with the tag20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHH8Af2RVQH
"grief," pierced by the blade of regret. His heart pounded in his20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhCFAXG7h1
chest.
Oh no. I'm fatherless.
He knew that God was his Father, but that fact did not20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczdOinMYkI
comfort him.
"If God is so loving, why did He allow me to see my20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7GaCj7aXP
father die?" he grumbled. "Well. there goes my dad."
His father had been more than a parent; he had been his20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfEwbUJA1Y
teacher and mentor. Now, all of that was lost. He felt broken, unable to20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrhSAjXID6
envision a future.
He yelled to God, his voice trembling with pain. "Why20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9omx38p93O
did You leave me? I hate You—I don't love You. Why didn't You save him? God,20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtmIqG1Awu
I'm trapped in Your silence. Please, speak to me! Are You even there? God.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfCZTNwHpL
hello? Come on! Where are You?"
He needed to run. He needed to disappear. The weight of20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBLT2emByz
grief was overwhelming.
"You are so mighty. but I do not believe in You."
Let me die. Just let me go.
Tears blurred his vision as he clenched his fists.20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijvA089dHE
"God, are You even hearing me? Come on!"
He felt like he'd been hit by a two-million-ton truck—like20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmGiG5njE2
a three-trillion-ton building had crashed down on him, annihilating his soul20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmB0LyWNuFz
and leaving him with nothing.
The hurting hurt. The anger frightened him. He was afraid20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuanDcPWZlt
to speak it because he believed that to do so would dishonor his father's name,20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwfqmOxNzK
but at the same time, he could not ignore it.
When they carted off his dad, he remembered his dad telling20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTH7cj3nE6
him: "This is not your fault."
His dad no longer reassured him. But. he could still sense20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDeApokj9F
something—a presence.
Was it his father? Or was it God? And if it was God, why20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8Dd0DSJjm
had He stayed? Why would He still love him after all he had just said?
He recalled God telling him that everything would be okay,
he was not sure if20Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADXWVuDbbj
God was real.
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ns18.226.4.129da2
