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Anderson sat in a chair in a dark, deep room, his mind17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToFleO3Bs0
repeating, "What did I say?" His father lay there, mouth open, hands17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1uFB3kVrC
icy cold. He stared at him as if he were bound to a chair with the tag17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3Tys6PrjO
"grief," pierced by the blade of regret. His heart pounded in his17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkGFl55IWY
chest.
Oh no. I'm fatherless.
He knew that God was his Father, but that fact did not17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAxzsj6AbQ
comfort him.
"If God is so loving, why did He allow me to see my17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2EKTFilvn
father die?" he grumbled. "Well. there goes my dad."
His father had been more than a parent; he had been his17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCUjAMw4wy
teacher and mentor. Now, all of that was lost. He felt broken, unable to17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshzRbdj6o4
envision a future.
He yelled to God, his voice trembling with pain. "Why17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphmpkrVT0v
did You leave me? I hate You—I don't love You. Why didn't You save him? God,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVY7yyyRtr
I'm trapped in Your silence. Please, speak to me! Are You even there? God.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tRBW7io3a
hello? Come on! Where are You?"
He needed to run. He needed to disappear. The weight of17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyo3kiJf0L
grief was overwhelming.
"You are so mighty. but I do not believe in You."
Let me die. Just let me go.
Tears blurred his vision as he clenched his fists.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQ5yCchgI3
"God, are You even hearing me? Come on!"
He felt like he'd been hit by a two-million-ton truck—like17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqYIExb2QU
a three-trillion-ton building had crashed down on him, annihilating his soul17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Jj0gIMbuN
and leaving him with nothing.
The hurting hurt. The anger frightened him. He was afraid17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuO6FmCv6R
to speak it because he believed that to do so would dishonor his father's name,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJfXDFgb36
but at the same time, he could not ignore it.
When they carted off his dad, he remembered his dad telling17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkIwx6x6qI
him: "This is not your fault."
His dad no longer reassured him. But. he could still sense17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA72fmI5YJn
something—a presence.
Was it his father? Or was it God? And if it was God, why17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYfY5diXM9
had He stayed? Why would He still love him after all he had just said?
He recalled God telling him that everything would be okay,
he was not sure if17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj73JYXoAb
God was real.
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ns3.148.221.111da2
