你好,我是莊坌但。311Please respect copyright.PENANA4rRjOIeyoj
311Please respect copyright.PENANAxGkEXS8Ewa
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?311Please respect copyright.PENANAfvutJAckS6
311Please respect copyright.PENANAuncymPngQj
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。311Please respect copyright.PENANA4xdW4tb5q1
311Please respect copyright.PENANAPn9gdpCbhw
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。311Please respect copyright.PENANABCcwdZLpvu
311Please respect copyright.PENANAyKxeQ7Z0U3
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。311Please respect copyright.PENANAdtSNRQHpAT
311Please respect copyright.PENANAH5YwRL6wtE
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。311Please respect copyright.PENANAddQgjLmJ0E
311Please respect copyright.PENANA50XhCAjvCx
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。311Please respect copyright.PENANAGAB19giHjo
311Please respect copyright.PENANAprb1DaHz2i
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。311Please respect copyright.PENANAgd7SbFZ0UK
311Please respect copyright.PENANAObhpsGQWZA
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。311Please respect copyright.PENANAqroedL1HSK
311Please respect copyright.PENANAKp0QqkNjGH
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。311Please respect copyright.PENANAAri0Q58GBt
311Please respect copyright.PENANAZNGb4fhzrc
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。311Please respect copyright.PENANAMMKZotrmx7
311Please respect copyright.PENANA9I8SbcKRtb
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。311Please respect copyright.PENANAxvVqVHmfth
311Please respect copyright.PENANAwAalxMi4l1
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。311Please respect copyright.PENANABIOPShRiGp
311Please respect copyright.PENANACTXIWlceFX
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。311Please respect copyright.PENANAQzOILBERns
311Please respect copyright.PENANAn0q1mrnIqJ
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。311Please respect copyright.PENANAE5yvbPpvys
311Please respect copyright.PENANAVEx4ebgDtC
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。311Please respect copyright.PENANA77Sw7S1yRF
311Please respect copyright.PENANAxmUV6Sz7XX
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。311Please respect copyright.PENANAZ05Y81319w
311Please respect copyright.PENANAZxK3KWuo1x
「你好,我是……」311Please respect copyright.PENANAnbPNEc0DoM
311Please respect copyright.PENANAf4ibfUlGm5
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」311Please respect copyright.PENANA3m4jf2oHnC
311Please respect copyright.PENANADMvjXhMj5H
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!311Please respect copyright.PENANAL4V6gUtqb5
311Please respect copyright.PENANAYZayXi6l5e
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。311Please respect copyright.PENANAn6gg9lZilv
311Please respect copyright.PENANAyCmma557lc
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。311Please respect copyright.PENANAmXsbAVPapi
311Please respect copyright.PENANAtj0BkPa57T
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?311Please respect copyright.PENANA7VMlrD5hb5
311Please respect copyright.PENANA8jKCwbrHfL
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!311Please respect copyright.PENANA7DMTfWhJkW
311Please respect copyright.PENANAK94ZASx6eS
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!311Please respect copyright.PENANAayEfGMUgZz
311Please respect copyright.PENANAvAA7kHFvBH
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?311Please respect copyright.PENANAnb1UjXe8VI
311Please respect copyright.PENANAtETXwR8W09
不好啊非常的不好啊!311Please respect copyright.PENANAuYur0zai75
311Please respect copyright.PENANAFDScIcgtWC
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。311Please respect copyright.PENANAjqVM7E1GOc
311Please respect copyright.PENANADRrPuv3WZS
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。311Please respect copyright.PENANAhErkFi9ZeB
311Please respect copyright.PENANA9K4xS1GdDy
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!311Please respect copyright.PENANA9P83kntAhW
311Please respect copyright.PENANAoAGJevnW5o
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。311Please respect copyright.PENANA5XbqV47LCw
311Please respect copyright.PENANAn0KdI1pxml
出了社會,總是得找份工作。311Please respect copyright.PENANA1HsTyYxFbZ
311Please respect copyright.PENANArz8ioy7FY2
我自己買了台50CC通勤。311Please respect copyright.PENANAgFz04UHWZW
311Please respect copyright.PENANAwdoO1IpnRs
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。311Please respect copyright.PENANA0OBJsohNUW
311Please respect copyright.PENANACBlRwm61AP
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。311Please respect copyright.PENANAqiIzwgavol
311Please respect copyright.PENANA9uuQoKXaqF
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。311Please respect copyright.PENANAcTqdDgXFid
311Please respect copyright.PENANAixCxC0h6VU
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」311Please respect copyright.PENANAP4CQm3W1Mk
311Please respect copyright.PENANAUoJ8rrLkel
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」311Please respect copyright.PENANAEEGv0v4Zi5
311Please respect copyright.PENANABNupBOfeqI
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」311Please respect copyright.PENANAijrnbqKbEz
311Please respect copyright.PENANAIQ1vxRKSr8
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。311Please respect copyright.PENANAlTwD1JmJdd
311Please respect copyright.PENANAiU4ncsopet
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。311Please respect copyright.PENANANdN4SA2gJp
311Please respect copyright.PENANAgs3B4KdALz
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。311Please respect copyright.PENANA4B7ifZ3Q7P
311Please respect copyright.PENANApLh7bLzfTo
它熄火,我傻眼。311Please respect copyright.PENANAdOo1GceG4G
311Please respect copyright.PENANA48VRbOBUWJ
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。311Please respect copyright.PENANAhaRloH9RD9
311Please respect copyright.PENANA0PUYjieUjl
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。311Please respect copyright.PENANAmupAf2bXpt
311Please respect copyright.PENANALHlhE66Lm7
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。311Please respect copyright.PENANAwd2u5FfXXv
311Please respect copyright.PENANAuOIH4EhvHX
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!311Please respect copyright.PENANAcXj92dpDlB
311Please respect copyright.PENANAAazu0DC4rd
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。311Please respect copyright.PENANAGLLYt0isn5
311Please respect copyright.PENANA2Byb7pMEkd
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?311Please respect copyright.PENANAo46imRatbC
311Please respect copyright.PENANAfa4puQJChX
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。311Please respect copyright.PENANATiMn2apAm2
311Please respect copyright.PENANA5tPAMWG8Q0
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!311Please respect copyright.PENANAQTZIiY8Nnq