你好，我是莊坌但。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdpCa1VjDP
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMjYNkvJvl
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJOyljNegG
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBfifxGLvx
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYkKAFo6lI
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiMpNGvuOq
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZypXuuHr9m
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1JBMI5C4V
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EjX9ywXkx
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM84TsVlwn6
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYgAKAvyT2
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzImAQJC148
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmZVjZZtIe
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1s5iO8hha
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50bm5EnfVN
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0YNCeKde6
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTErwVeMxO
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1NkO2DKcL
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuEDgtslPC
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4vnaMlbRs
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvTAQuQIYy
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pKgsAKoK2
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXKcW4M05H
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2ZtLg2kIS
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLOb7utjRo
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Te4NCPfOj
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwpWanhs1q
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXSHy4fcFi
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqGpqp2GSM
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxBoDZWI88
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCON2ThdEM
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53Ly0UPDgt
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSzAOY8LNi
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd5Kn3gbN3
「你好，我是……」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUyZhIKd3l
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbJU0XEao3
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVJfmmHFGy
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLTYmpb1G7
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCURroznE0H
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdfox6A5vg
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4njxBm5P4U
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJc4eg05KCw
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBRN3xRM53
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWG33yCyLTF
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ10HVCYU9q
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj63gfiRBlx
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEViWlA453C
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHro8xUy07
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyo3QUIs6gP
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCcdvQdCEI
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i2v7EdfQa
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq3QOHENJv
不好啊非常的不好啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnvek9WQfj
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8IXVh7o1Y
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGW4ln7YzqD
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAHYwpIcQY
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5in04AhZg4
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1JcBh3YT9
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiC82buOUw
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnKj6TeY7g
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwNuj8xKsH
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIVqEo8RAF
出了社會，總是得找份工作。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQasUNm0xu
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgFYGVrkdR
我自己買了台50CC通勤。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUd3Uey8IHF
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX57t9Ehmch
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUZa2cPwXd
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gVJKaSL69
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GgYu0i33P
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjArUqRg2r
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0vKiP5NHz
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeyc0Iv5gc
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByRaXasCzz
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdd3PxEObZ
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM27rHtLGW
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4O9KVmdyd
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo97PRUcKEF
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVXCZgp3ko
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97oDVT68g1
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT24IHOtrl0
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqSjSpDkw9
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHmg8A4lY4
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuHLhymgaa
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT7NPMapPc
它熄火，我傻眼。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4Awpqf9cy
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYLMhOxyom
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuReLCjGsG
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPTdszWzEV
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NZUx7iBZq
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHYg9Wwwsr
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSKIJaj9vn
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi9BooPzF2
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy85mCT9j1M
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVXsdlbLe3
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGhBXkwTKc
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1Gao8giCJ
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSKVJmM7iC
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptvQAkf9Ge
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyrAUogDJ1
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpvlIF78Kh
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqa2QIH1I6k
Penana
search
登入arrow_drop_down
註冊arrow_drop_down
