你好,我是莊坌但。315Please respect copyright.PENANAPo4vnAhWVx
315Please respect copyright.PENANAuz87dElFJF
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?315Please respect copyright.PENANAnBB9Ph9ej5
315Please respect copyright.PENANAo4hxOTJKeh
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。315Please respect copyright.PENANAeCqyitomOu
315Please respect copyright.PENANAbUWjvcOJZm
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。315Please respect copyright.PENANAGTBzfgDkwd
315Please respect copyright.PENANAFvWE4HQFSO
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。315Please respect copyright.PENANAQEE8buQBnb
315Please respect copyright.PENANAKsuqGc1z1D
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。315Please respect copyright.PENANA0TiibXCpgg
315Please respect copyright.PENANAqV7zRx1zpV
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。315Please respect copyright.PENANAfrLH6Sh0wY
315Please respect copyright.PENANAa5zMRCi20P
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。315Please respect copyright.PENANANTXDCGbFwk
315Please respect copyright.PENANAutxJOzR4k8
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。315Please respect copyright.PENANA97yS9gLqB9
315Please respect copyright.PENANA0RxL2CZCKg
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。315Please respect copyright.PENANA73oe13UIrY
315Please respect copyright.PENANAU4tgXI9fiY
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。315Please respect copyright.PENANA69tNYrETq8
315Please respect copyright.PENANAKN6QClF6Ap
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。315Please respect copyright.PENANAm2FuiJ6sMO
315Please respect copyright.PENANAimcAE8snzq
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。315Please respect copyright.PENANAfVpepTp9db
315Please respect copyright.PENANAj591I7jjy2
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。315Please respect copyright.PENANAmB4DBOFw6T
315Please respect copyright.PENANA53WG9q46Ot
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。315Please respect copyright.PENANAbK4GBRCyez
315Please respect copyright.PENANACSvgpT1iWx
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。315Please respect copyright.PENANA3WKLwAOAPA
315Please respect copyright.PENANAvUnc8zScSK
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。315Please respect copyright.PENANAd3MGSIxiwF
315Please respect copyright.PENANAb1IUHmZcL1
「你好,我是……」315Please respect copyright.PENANAoCH9Vv6K6q
315Please respect copyright.PENANAJgnmS8U16L
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」315Please respect copyright.PENANAM7ELeiEkEW
315Please respect copyright.PENANAA8lwTjn24q
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!315Please respect copyright.PENANAHgskdsy80M
315Please respect copyright.PENANAoU6RaWwcFv
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。315Please respect copyright.PENANAldfODHYNax
315Please respect copyright.PENANAz619s2XsKW
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。315Please respect copyright.PENANAXY5LBPHmQ4
315Please respect copyright.PENANAqYl47KJ5XO
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?315Please respect copyright.PENANAWeApJPnWNN
315Please respect copyright.PENANAGCKqjiNvT5
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!315Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1DcDpkTgh
315Please respect copyright.PENANAnf3ycsWf69
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!315Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5DnuVDZPW
315Please respect copyright.PENANAOMgP5QFGCW
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?315Please respect copyright.PENANAjMsoi0nK9b
315Please respect copyright.PENANAFtnWmRGtQp
不好啊非常的不好啊!315Please respect copyright.PENANAAyasPSPSFG
315Please respect copyright.PENANA0VDiP3W7j7
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。315Please respect copyright.PENANA8Z7jPS6Ofc
315Please respect copyright.PENANAt1EiSMtJD8
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。315Please respect copyright.PENANAEsgrwWBpoc
315Please respect copyright.PENANARqQXcxV8YU
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!315Please respect copyright.PENANAPXQt8o7zt3
315Please respect copyright.PENANAtLFMMU0dQP
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。315Please respect copyright.PENANANDN9DzTEnU
315Please respect copyright.PENANAvXdHCs3avw
出了社會,總是得找份工作。315Please respect copyright.PENANAVpRFSPxVXV
315Please respect copyright.PENANAWtR6z5zBK9
我自己買了台50CC通勤。315Please respect copyright.PENANASOaTEMOkC1
315Please respect copyright.PENANArXf9KWAGnO
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。315Please respect copyright.PENANAW9klQypYk0
315Please respect copyright.PENANA3BMSr8wlvH
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。315Please respect copyright.PENANAJMDtAYl4ad
315Please respect copyright.PENANANbGOwP6vcX
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。315Please respect copyright.PENANAF08Dg5aRbv
315Please respect copyright.PENANABkjsOWdx5t
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」315Please respect copyright.PENANAl3tobIX8NM
315Please respect copyright.PENANATX7GI5JeEU
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」315Please respect copyright.PENANAPYCHnqrwf9
315Please respect copyright.PENANAxI6P3x6uWZ
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」315Please respect copyright.PENANATMv6HwjhFB
315Please respect copyright.PENANAFn3HC2ipG2
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。315Please respect copyright.PENANAjMyMdK0NtY
315Please respect copyright.PENANA4dKGQ3L73P
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。315Please respect copyright.PENANAU6825Gzgva
315Please respect copyright.PENANA0uyN5J76WY
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。315Please respect copyright.PENANAwkVwqDdmns
315Please respect copyright.PENANAWBKykISVex
它熄火,我傻眼。315Please respect copyright.PENANAVxkOB50zxR
315Please respect copyright.PENANACZZTLZ5NAQ
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。315Please respect copyright.PENANATFu3o4tWcY
315Please respect copyright.PENANAUpSvnbGVed
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。315Please respect copyright.PENANAQXzmEawmIr
315Please respect copyright.PENANAKLnEmlV3sn
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。315Please respect copyright.PENANAOQN64XY4t0
315Please respect copyright.PENANA2OUARPxI6f
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!315Please respect copyright.PENANA8SLfLTGoTM
315Please respect copyright.PENANAX9Hn8URJL9
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。315Please respect copyright.PENANAA4W2WEuHDW
315Please respect copyright.PENANAvQovijmwlB
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?315Please respect copyright.PENANAMA5wD1WwHW
315Please respect copyright.PENANAcy1cJ2W0SB
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。315Please respect copyright.PENANASUMTAM9sh3
315Please respect copyright.PENANAodd2fm6v2r
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!315Please respect copyright.PENANA4ISy5KG3Mm