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RuthlesS | リウイチ
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EP 2 絕望信徒(偽)297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OPc6SL52d
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冒險，私輩我到底為了什麼？
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就如在問人出生為了什麼，私輩的出現原因，但也許沒有那麼難明白，單單以奈穂子這個身份來說的話，我認為百分百
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純粹是為了「發洩」，為「發怒」
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至於憤怒的原因，充滿攻擊性的理由，只是為了「保護自己」
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簡單不過，若只是以言詞句子語之
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簡單不過的對策，但風險無比地高，因為不慎的下場，恐怕會是不堪切想，想著那天的血泊，心中燃起一陣衝勁
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源於勇氣、決心
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以及鼓動不爾的懼意和不安
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當年所受的「夢魘」一稱是雙向的，成為令人害怕的存在，只能先成為自己所恐懼的存在，那麼就要親身試死
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子彈，在對的角度下，就能切割
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在不對的方向、角度下，迎接之的歧肢輕則擦傷，重則斷裂
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在最嚴重的後果下，會死亡
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一點方向、十一點方向
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飛來的子彈，若在對的角度下，打中歧肢的尖端就能切割，避開一劫而前
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但在不對的方向、角度下，迎接之的歧肢輕則擦傷，重則斷裂，在最嚴重的後果下，會因為擋不中攻勢，直接身體中彈，死亡不是沒可能
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然而，只要順從肌肉記憶，徬如那夜，在最緊急的情況下，人總能發揮出最超乎預期的能力，所謂的「腎上腺加成」、「命運之刻」，突破所有不可能而前進
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區區人形兩個，私輩的力量可是高高遠於此等
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子彈只要能看清楚方向就能輕鬆切割
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除非看不到，要不然不會失誤
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在這個殘酷的世界中，我才不會就此止步死
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畢竟我的責任還沒有 ——
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—— 隆 ——
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完了，我沒預計到——
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趴下並保護重要之物，我只知歧肢並沒有去在意飛來的銅鐵，我沒有去留意
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只是留意跌下的落石
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那怕
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那怕在不適合的方向、錯誤角度下，擋接威脅之的歧肢才不只擦傷，一定會斷裂，說是最嚴重的後果，但其實一早已經說了，既然冒險，一定有失敗的可能，我會因為擋不中攻勢，直接身體中彈，死亡不是沒可能，可能
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就是這下子
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左眼看不見，窩骨陣陣地發痛，是因為整張臉感受到的地方，只有該處，衝擊感的難受不是單純的痛，而是意識會失去的感覺，暈得模糊不清，是精神上的不適，始終麻痺了身體
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電流遊走神經，到這個地方，痛、刺基本上也很弱，感覺到的是麻感，有什麼在快速擴散至全身，奪走了感官、連對皮膚存在的認知也一同，頭部，只是一個概念，只是很重，只是我知道全身無力，沒有呼吸，沒有心跳
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「我真的以為自己要死了」
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「我死了，也不足為奇」
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「完結了」
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但這些念頭我無法拿住、拿起太久，不是被現實的壓力感給迫走，恐慌情緒不能消退，但其位置被更重大的思念取代
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「我死了的話，就沒人保護到依奈子」
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或許這樣看上去，我的意思存在過度自誇
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這樣吧
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「作為她的憤怒而存，我不在的話，她會忘記憤怒的理由」
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人感到不憤，是因為受傷後想站起來
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人無法站起來，則一生只能活在鬱暗中
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「希望之光」，我想讓她看見
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我想她自由而幸福
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我想背負她的種種不快，並能讓她從中解放
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這種屬於依奈子「幸福的自由」
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⋯是我需要守護的一切，即使我不知道為什麼這孩子和這孩子，為什麼那麼著重於對方
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我想讓她擁有所有的自由
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包括不去選擇的自由
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我期待一天，她不再在黑暗中痛哭，她不再與絕望共坐
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那麼我死而無憾
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那麼我⋯⋯
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「⋯我要死了？」
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縱使作為兩個人格而存，但精神是一體的，在失去意識的那時，少女顫抖十分的聲音迴響在我耳邊，是比牆崩、槍炮更厲害的迴音，在意識消退時，嘗試迫走自己，那震聲不安
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海洋的波浪，總是比肉眼所見浩大；野鹿的角尖，都比想像中鋒利
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她的意識，感受到從神經系統傳來的焦苦
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少女很怕苦味
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甚至討厭之、恨之入骨
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「我才不要被你害死！！！」
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