Opium

Differences

You can see it

Look around and you can see it

It's a word that's hard to say

Death Death

Pain Pain

Cheeks Tears

Eyes Eyes

Cuts Cuts

Ribs Rips

That's what you can see

Everywhere

"Look away"

"Look up"

"It doesn't concern you"

Of course it doesn't why would it?

I'm alright

I'm grand

I'm balling

I have plenty of things to distract me

As you can see

There's nothing wrong with this picture

My make-up is perfect

Expensive

And worth it

As for

I'll look away

Look up

It doesn't concern me

Yet still ...

Metaphorical Seas

It's perfect everything's perfect

The sea between seeing and invisibility

The attention we only pay to what we want to see

The human beings

on the other side of the metaphorical sea

In just as metaphorical invisibility

Yet still

Why does my attention drift

To the desperation

And that beautiful shine

No be proper, you'll die of madness

If you give in to the pity

Or is it compassion

To think someone deserves better?

I Met Life

I looked

I crossed

I reached the other shore

Eyes met eyes

Mascara bejewelled eyes

Tired unaltered eyes

My heart exploded

Did her's too?

Beautiful, joyous explosion

Yet very sad too

Yet precious sadness

What are you?

No, go back

Go back to your own shore

Sugar and decadence

Is what you live for

What you should live for

But what about something bigger?

Something that rewards you more?

Support and unity?

Connection and camaraderie?

Help and humanity?

All of humanity

Focusing on that humanity

And God and God's creation

And not what I focused on before

Dangerous Thoughts

God

What?

God

What just came out of my mouth?

Or my mind?

My mind's mouth?

My mind's heart

Danger

Healer

Disaster

Shiver

People shiver

When it's cold in winter

So perhaps

Maybe

Not all of them who shiver must

Although...

Why is there always an although?

"Smile"

No.

How can we all be saved when the world

Is so filled with sin?

But not living in sin

Is what makes our brothers and sisters

And non-binary siblings and whoever

Warmer

No, selfishness makes them warmer

Then why do they shiver so?

A man with two coats

Must give a coat

To a man with none

Love, connection, sharing, caring, effort, equality

That's what makes us warmer

Hi God

Unselfish Pull

All reason tells me perhaps continue the apathy

Something pulls me towards something else

Is it selfish to be so stubborn and irrational?

Or is it unselfish to follow this one feeling inside of me

That's so beautiful and perfect to not listen to

That's too loving and true not follow

That tells me to never disregard it

And to go with what it tells me

Conversation With a "Concerned" Adult

"Smile."

No.

"Just do it."

Can't.

"What do you mean? Of course you can."

You wouldn't know

"Oh you think you know more?"

Images. Miss images. Miss math. Miss pay check.

Don't claim to understand pain.

"Oh and you think you're in pain."

A bit but just a bit.

"Then do something about it."

If I could change the whole world I would.

But I can't.

"Then why bother yourself? You're just making yourself sad."

No I'm knowing the truth.

"You're so clueless."

Clueless? You're clueless.

"Learn some science."

The human soul doesn't work on science

Treasures

People

People fallen though the cracks

I love your eyes

I love he few words we share

You're good people

I love hanging out with your children

And I hate that I'm forced to be worried

About their futures

I love your smiles

I love the air with which you walk

I love the words you say

And I love the way you look at me

I love what you say to me

And I swear I'll be yours' and you'll be mine

But I'm stuck

As of now

Save me, Protect me, Cherish me

But how? How do I hold on?

Save me

Someone

Save me

So I can save someone

So I can refrain from caring

Only about clothes

And shoes

And movies

And video games

And big houses

And manicured lawns

And cars

And sofas

And restaurants

And luxury soap

And cruises

And stuff

Which is nothing

Which just creates a void of nothing

I don't want to want them

Like I used to

Save me

So I can save myself

From being empty

Like I used to

Heart's Prayer

God. Hi God.

I remember you told us

Love God with all your heart

Love your neighbour as much as yourself

I know I shouldn't've been reading that

But I know

We're all neighbours

And we're all part of God

And God is love

God make me your servant

Show me your will

Show me how to pursue

Love

Not money

But love

God I don't know why you're considered so dangerous

Perhaps because your message is

A message of camaraderie

But God show me your will

Let me follow it

So in loving my neighbours

All my neighbours

My impoverished neighbours

My depressed neighbours

My mentally ill neighbours

My starving neighbours

My war-torn neighbours

My blinded by nonsense neighbours

My homeless neighbours

My powerless neighbours

My neighbours living in dictatorships

My neighbours living in need

My lonely neighbours

My trapped neighbours

My neighbours losing loved ones

Everyone that needs me

And needs my love

I can love you

With all my heart

Dear Reader?

Aren't I living in a dictatorship though?

Maybe.

Are you? Are you therefore not allowed to say what you mean?

Do you wonder why the world runs

On blood?

Why we get rich

Off of blood?

Why we live in these hierarchies?

Someone's better than someone else

You're better

More sacred, important, useful

Than someone else

And someone more sacred, important, or useful

Than you

And you don't get to talk about it

You don't get to questions it

Whether or not you're literally in a dictatorship,

And I'm sure some of you are,

Is your democratic country giving you democratic power?

Or are you too young and too passionate

And too different and too imperfect

And too irrational in the most rational way

To be considered?

Does your voice get considered ridiculous

Just because you want mercy

God's mercy?

Oh wait no religion is the opium of the people

You outlaw

But do you want mercy for the people?

For the people by the people?

Equality and dignity?

Belonging and love?

Are you depressed?

Is the pain too much?

If My Name was Jennifer Lee

If I ran away

Found somewhere else to stay

Where I could help people

And continue my education

But study what I wanted how I wanted

No pressure

Try your best

We're all trying our best

That looks different for each of us

There's different jobs for each of us

All of which are equally okay

Just try your best

And if I could meet other people like me

Who wanted change

And if I could work closely with all the people I see

Who live in need

Who want change

Angels, all of them, humans, all of them

If I could live among them

Serve them

Like Jenny in Call the Midwife

Well like Chummy more like

Skip the first episode watch the rest

Perhaps not the after the first three seasons

But the rest

Watch it, seriously, please

It's a dream come true

Anyways that'd be glorious

One day, hopefully, one day

I swear it

I'm a child today

Well not really but in the middle of my schooling

So treated that way

And helpless

Partially

My mind is free

For periods of the day my steps are free

If I'm secretive my words are free

My pen is free

And my future is free

Secret Outlaw Dealings

Hi Miss

I don't need lunch today

You eat lunch for me

"You didn't have to do that."

I'll be fine

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

Sunlight

True sunlight

Rising

Behind her eyes

I did have two do that

The Best Feeling

I'm high

High off of the opium of the people

I love being high

I hate the injustice faced by the people

Which is why I'm high

Adults With Power

"What's wrong with you?"

"Why won't you join us?"

"Fine then just waste away."

"You used to be prettier"

Should I just sneak away?

"Gossip, gossip, gossip..."

"Stuff, stuff, stuff..."

"You know who's a disgrace?"

"You know what thing I need?"

"Stuff, stuff, stuff ..."

"Why are you so emotional?"

"Why are you so irrational?"

"Calm yourself."

"It's other people's problems,

don't associate with them."

"Carry the family name"

"Don't you bring me shame."

"Bring me gold, and diamonds..."

I want to escape.

The Land Where You Can Vote But Not For What You Want

I can't say what I mean

I can't keep my mouth shut this long

Free soon

Free at last

Free to dedicate my whole life to people

Not to money

A man cannot have two masters

He'll love one and hate the other

If I want to be God's servant

I can't be the servant of another

Human

Some rest because I need it

Some friendship because I need it

Some school because I need it

Though I don't think my grades make me better

Or worse

Or better than anyone

But some being able to talk

And be heard

And understood

And perhaps not arrested

Or yelled at

Or kicked out of home?

Where is that?

I need it.

Precious Routines

Two days a week

Out of five days a week

I don't eat lunch at school

The best two days of my week

Of my five day week

Unfortunate

I've been thinking.

My clock is ticking towards the end

My being forced to live at home clock

Not my life clock

Though that clock is ticking too

Bye mom

Bye dad

I don't think you knew you loved me

I know there's nothing I can do for you

Maybe the next generation of kids won't end up like you

Not all of them at least

But that makes me sad

So many people

Buried

In make-up

in degrees

In superiority

In blindness

"Smartness"

In cash

The coffin

The rock

The dirt

666 feet under

You're human

You have a heart

You have a heart in there somewhere

Which I've seen some bits of

But why?

Why is that heart so buried in nonsense

That you no longer can listen to it?

But being in that situation hurts

It hurts but you don't know it

I know because I've lived it

And overcome it

But for my brother and sisters

Who think they're happy

In their apathy

Who are still stuck

I'm sorry

I wish there was something I could do

I wish there was a way to get through to you

But there's not

Not now

Not in this situation

On The Brink of a Blizzardy Beautiful Forever and Ever

The rest of my life is ahead of me

And there's a beauty in following your heart that no amount of comfort can surpass

If you like this story check out my Twitter my handle is @FSairuv and I post about human rights, social justice, and the environment.

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