Lines of Love (Book Two)
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Astra~
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So much has happened in these three years since I started dating Gina. Dan found his daughter and she's been yet another addition but she's dating Joy and it's been awkward, to say the least. But everything has been falling into place lately for us, we even opened up the bathhouse. She is so fussy with that place but it provides an income and keeps us connected to our community. I kind of took on a Highschool coaching job my history has prevented me from officially running but at least I can teach. The kids love the exercises and a lot of them have the talent to go further than I ever did.
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The high school still remembers what I did so I don't have friends among the faculty but I'm here because I love running. My old coach vouched for me as a replacement since she was in the process of having a child she couldn't perform her duties. Gina was ecstatic about it but I'm hesitant about somethings I just haven't had a chance to tell her. Until I organize my thoughts it will be fine like this, she has enough going on as is. Rita has been having some difficulties over the last two years with her health, Doctors say it's just her age and prior health issues. So we have been visiting every day we can and even have two home care nurses watching her, expensive but necessary.
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Even though we have dated for so long it's been a while since we had a day to ourselves. Between her work and mine, we haven't had just a day to ourselves. I told her I could quit but she's refusing that idea. Her mother visits the bathhouse so I know she doesn't wanna lose that place either. I know she's worried about her mom so I took over most of the bills and housework, I do everything I can for her. However long she needs I can wait patiently but until then I'll be at her side carrying everything I can get away with. Tonight was supposed to be a dinner date at home but Gina called apologizing about the extra customers that showed up.
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I'm not a great cook but I'm learning as best I can one day she will taste my cooking I'm sure of it. But for now, it's just another cold meal she can reheat when she comes home. We bought this house because it was ours a warm place we could live peacefully together but it's becoming colder every day. Like most nights similar to this one I try to call Cait or Cassie but neither was answering so I decided to head out for a late-night run. I can't run like I use to and my legs have felt heavier every time I try, I don't know why but still I push onwards. Like most runs, I lead myself to the high school's track field and I run harder than I ever did pushing myself to the limit till exhaustion claims me.
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My thoughts are only about Gina and how things have been going lately. Things are good when we can have time together but she has a lot to deal with which keeps her away as well. Sometimes I feel like we have become strangers in a way when we are apart, running like this is difficult when my head is not clear. After I stop running I feel my lungs burning and chest tightening sometimes.
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Evia; "Astra...."
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Astra; " Mom...Why are you here."
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Evia; " I been watching you ever since you came back here. I didn't have the strength to talk to you but I remember how much you did this when you were younger in middle school. So I have been coming here every night hoping to catch up with you."
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Astra; " I don't have anything to say to you honestly. I need to go home now."
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Evia; " Wait please, look I just want to talk to you for a moment."
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Astra; " I was waiting but I stopped waiting after high school and you all left me alone again when I needed you the most. I have nothing more to give you or say to you."
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Evia; " Astra if you change your mind ill be at the old house, waiting."
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I was prepared for a lot of things in life but when someone makes you feel like something extra you don't expect them to show up. So I ran away even though my legs are burning I needed distance from her, I needed to go home. But when I got inside the house it was still silent so I checked our bedroom and she has already gone to sleep. So I closed the door softly and went to the living room making a call I never thought I'd make.
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Joy; " Hello?"
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Astra; " Hey Joy."
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Joy; " Astra? It's late what's going on.?"
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Astra; " Help me please."
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Joy and I haven't had a chance to talk things have been awkward but I needed advice and help. So I left the house again to meet Joy at a park not far from my home. I feel this is wrong but I don't have any clue how to deal with my mother showing back up. So when I got there I waited for Joy at the parking lot, it will take her some time to get here but I need time to organize myself anyway. So I start connecting pieces bad and the good hoping an answer will come to me but I was abandoned by her yet I can't feel hate like I should. I'm more worried that I was impulsive to call Joy this late.
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After probably a couple of hours spent inside of my head I felt a cold hand press to my neck which causes me to shriek and jump. Joy just scared me back to reality, I was not sure she would come. But a part of me is glad she did.
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Joy; " So what's going on I know I'm the last person on your list to call."
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Astra; " It's not like that Joy. I did a lot of things unfairly to you I realize now that everything has a better end than the first one that comes to you. I think we just needed to talk without any hostilities between us you know."
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Joy; " We'll who am I to argue, I already got my ass kicked once I'm not looking for round two. So come on what happened with Gina, you two fighting and need a place to stay.?"
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Astra; " God no we are fine but... We'll my mother showed up tonight. And she wants to talk but I'm torn between forcing myself to truly hate her and seeing what she wants. I feel a longing to have a chance at having my mother back though so I feel stuck. I wanna cry, I wanna scream, I wanna release my anger. What do I do"
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Joy; " Shit.....Hating your mother is difficult even when they do horrible things. I have not forgiven mine and don't plan on it, but that's a path I chose. But you Astra you are a sweet and caring person, that may not be a path for you. It's hard to come back from it once you start down it. But that doesn't mean you have to forgive her even if you decide to let her have this moment. She did wrong don't forget that."
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Astra; " That makes sense. Joy have you ever felt tired as you go on with life. It's been three years since you and I spoke on the phone, but that was our only interaction. Every time we had a chance to meet it's like fate kept it from happening, Cassie wanted us to talk and be friends."
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Joy; " If I think about it I have been tired since high school. Then I met people who affected my life, I'm still tired sure. But at this point in time, I have a chance to make something of my relationship with Cassie. Same with you and Gina you know. "
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We continued talking for a while longer I didn't feel like crying anymore and I finally got to amend with Joy. She had wisdom that I needed to hear, it made my head sort things easier. It was probably five in the morning when we finally parted ways and ended our conversation I didn't expect to talk with her so long but I am glad I did get to meet up with her after so long.
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{Writers note; The App Cyoa Factory is a choose your own adventure story telling app. I plan to work on trying to fit lines of devotion into it as a side project for fun. it's not done yet but I will have it up soon as possible. as a side note also This is the second book of sorts to lines of devotion.}
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