
hewo~! okay, anyways. idk what i'm doing but have fun reading, i guess.
1. recall your most embarrassing memory459Please respect copyright.PENANAOHyZwp02TR
okay. welp, this is going to be weird to write about. okay, so, i was in 5th grade and i had the audacity to sign up for the talent show. so, i signed up and i went to rehearsal, right? i cried in front everyone at rehearsal. then the next night, we had a night where all the kids in the talent show performed in front everyone's parents. what did i do? i cried. again. then the next day, we peformed again but it was in front of the entire school, including my crush. mind you, i was wearing this ugly dress and i thought i was cute. then we were back in that era where we thought the orange justice dance was the shit. so, muy friend was shy and she was dancing so i went out onto the stage with her and danced sicne for some reason, i knew the entire dance to the entire song..? then my turn came and i had to put the ugly dress on, i went on stage and started to sing rise up by andra day and what did i do, once again? i fucking cried. yep. in front of my crush and everything. life sucks, mate.
2. think about the last time that you laughed until you cried. 459Please respect copyright.PENANAnAS5wRtYmI
that had to be like yesterday. i think i laughed at something bunny said and then started crying because it was so funny. maybe it wasn't yesterday but it was damn near last week or something. eh, idgaf.
3. write a story about what would happen if your day went in reverse. hint: the story would begin when you were in your pajamas and ready for bed.459Please respect copyright.PENANAOW7YeGW5Sc
*acting like a vlogger on youtube from 2016* hi, guys. so, i'm in bed right now. i can't get back up for a few more hours because of my schedule. *a few hours earlier..?* okay, hi. i'm in the bathroom right now taking my clothes off and using the shower. *after shower* i'm putting my clothes back on now. hold on, ms. shi! i'm getting undressed. --- omfg, i can't do this. it's too weird.
5. what was the best joke that you heard during the last week? what made that joke so funny to you?459Please respect copyright.PENANAC7jnzEeFcX
the funniest joke to me in the past week was said on saturday when we were at barnes & noble. lovely, bunny and i were sitting in the little kids section, reading when out of no where lovely said, 'are you eleven protons because you're sodium fine.' and i stared at her. then i realized what she said and i started cackling.
6. make a list of your favorite puns.459Please respect copyright.PENANAGlJaHiPwcq
i might seem lame right now but i don't pay attention to puns...
7. write a movie review about the funniest movie that you have ever seen.459Please respect copyright.PENANAGRkDSMv5qI
*acting like a famous journalist* hello, my name is alex ugliana. today i am going to write a movie review about the movie- i give up. i'm not good at explaining things without spoiling it.
8. pretend that you are going to be performing a stand-up comedy act for your friends and family members. write a draft of what your act might sound like.459Please respect copyright.PENANAS96ZG52Bc0
hehe, okay. *clears throat and gets accent ready* *using "country" accent* hey there, y'all! my name is alex and i'm here tahday tah tell yeh fellers about the trump family! i believe thet man, donald trump, was a good president. and that's not jest becuz i'm caucasian and african amurican. i swear tah yer, he was a good man in my eyes. omfg, i give up. wtf am i writing? *yeets self into dumpster*
9. consider something that you are most scared of, and then write a story about a character encountering that fear. make sure the character has a reaction to their fear that is so exaggerated it becomes funny.459Please respect copyright.PENANA2SKDjsvWhp
okay, lemme try this. i'm scared of the dark. lemma alone. omg. anyways-- genevieve walked into her home late at night. "i knew i shouldn't have gone to that stupid 'get together'." she groans --bitch wtf--. her house was pitch black. she couldn't see anything as she took off her shoes. she tried to flip on a light switch. it didn't work. she tried over and over again. "holy fuck, did i pay the light bill?" she said --shoulda never sucked dick for free, genevieve. omg, i'm going to hell-- she digs in her pocket for her phone. she turned on the flashlight. she walked through her house, heart beating like crazy, mind running at what could've caused her lights not to work. she walks past the couch and the corner of the couch grazes her thigh. she screams bloody murder. "oh my fucking god!" she screams and runs through her house like a little bitch. she runs into the kitchen counter. "ouch!" she yells. she goes for another light switch. it doesn't work either. she screams even louder. she runs to her room and flips on the light. she breathes a heavy sigh, seeing the darkness disappear from the light. --you know what? i declare gore!-- then a blade stabs into her neck. she gasps and chokes up blood, holding her neck. she bleeds all over her carpets. thoughts are running through her mind. am i dying? eh, i don't care. oh my fucking god! there is blood on my carpets! wait- who stabbed me? she turns around and there is the dark behind her. she falls to the ground and dies. you know, i liked where that went. morbid as fuck but who gives a shit. i liked it. i'm weird. anyways-- NEXT~!
10. how would you describe your own sense of humor?459Please respect copyright.PENANAwWyyfxcZla
i would descibe my sense of humor to be kind of morbid, kind of crazy, not really that funny but somehow funny to other people. i think i'm a crackhead that doesn't do crack....make sense? yeah? okay, bye.
11. write a list of funny excuses that you could use to get out of doing your homework.459Please respect copyright.PENANAvVU3sXirpZ
okay, bet. number one - so what had happened was, i didn't really know what to do so i gave it to my mom and she got angry with it so she gave it back to me and told me to get the fuck out of her room so i went to the mall and got on the airplane and drove to japan and then i biked to south korea over the sea and i dropped it on my way to south korea. so it's in the ocean between japan and south korea. i mean, feel free to look in the ocean. i hope you don't drown. *silently wishing for them to drown* *smiles all inocently* number two - my pet dragon at it. number three - i got free tickets to a bts concert with backstage tickets and i needed the paper to make a poster for bts. number four - i cried and got it all wet and then my little brother got hungry so i fed my brother my homework for dinner because i was depression and did not feel like cooking. number five - wait- we had homework? oh my god, was that what i used to pick up my unicorn's shit? i'm so sorry! number six - i lost it in zamunda. you don't know what zamunda is? oh my god, it's in africa. what type of social studies teacher are you? what the fuck do you mean, 'why was i in zamunda'? i was studying, idiot. number seven - i was sick and i used the paper as toilet paper. don't ask me what sickness i had, you icky nasty, oh my god! you disgust me. okay, lemme stop.
12. write a funny short story in which the main character is your alter ego/you.459Please respect copyright.PENANAB1jKUiEFxQ
funny? mm. i'll see if i can do it. so first here is my ego or aura, whatever. i'm nice, sweet, funny, "pretty", adorable, friendly, sometimes ghetto especially when i'm mad and i seem very social but i really don't like people. so, my alter ego would be someone who absolutely the opposite except for the fact that i'd still be funny and ghetto. story (btw this'll be like when i first moved here so jazzy won't be in this): i walk down the stairs of my new group home. all the heads turn towards me. the staff, bunny, gorgeous and kitkat. they all look at me, wide-eyed. i sigh, heavily and walk towards them, not wanting to get to know them. "hi." gorgeous says. "wassup." i say, sliding my hoodie on. omg, i give up. i can't do this lmao.
13. have you ever tried to use your own sense of humor to impress someone? write about whether or not your jokes worked their magic.459Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5UbTtxUrx
i mean, yeah, mate. how do you think i have emmi? she likes me because i'm pretty, funny, loud/energetic, and i kind of don't care what people think about me.
14. think about an inside joke that you share with a friend or family member. how did that inside joke come to be? 459Please respect copyright.PENANAeNBCZz5NiE
bet~! me and bunny were just doing it. free real estate. i walked up to her one day and slid my hand down her arm and said that in a weird/seductive way and ever since then, it's been a thing. we were just trying to explain it to her boyfriend, lion. and yesterday, we were watching a movie and the thingy said in a british accent, 'and i'm greedy with the soup.' so now, that's a thing. we have too many inside jokes. i make too many jokes.
~~
i guess i'm doing those question things again. emmi looks sexy today, holy shet. anyways--
~~
full name? - lady leilani waterton of dogde charger.459Please respect copyright.PENANAoahNaESIy9
girl bestie? - coco <3459Please respect copyright.PENANABb6xV15uaf
boy bestie? - idek anymore. i need a boy bestie.459Please respect copyright.PENANAw43bspyyMP
age? - seven years old.459Please respect copyright.PENANAWcrnmK1zbM
last person i texted? - idfk.459Please respect copyright.PENANAxyRvtxlnvs
last person i called? - probably my little brother.459Please respect copyright.PENANA6GAkoFGRS0
current crush? - my girlfriend, emmi, tf?459Please respect copyright.PENANAN5JzayuM5M
random fact? - i like food.459Please respect copyright.PENANA12W61Ysv4i
single or taken? - big, fat taken.459Please respect copyright.PENANAZkv9KxtnDu
favourite quote? - if it delicious, it's zero calories. said by wwh.459Please respect copyright.PENANA8IRm20x3aU
first kiss? - bitch wtf?459Please respect copyright.PENANAOVqk28gUsl
ever smoked? - nope.459Please respect copyright.PENANAMoFQxuTFFB
ever done drugs? - nope~459Please respect copyright.PENANAnHmOs894Nx
ever been drunk? - i don't drink.459Please respect copyright.PENANANbuVqKS6wg
longest relationship? - five and a half months.459Please respect copyright.PENANAcP8zeuqQfd
pet peeve? - my little brother. his entire existent. but i still love him.459Please respect copyright.PENANAvBeksNonYo
eye colour? - brown. my little brother's eyes are really pretty.459Please respect copyright.PENANAYuwHcZfwE9
birthday? - 1930.01.01-- nah, i'm playing but no one needs to know my birthday.459Please respect copyright.PENANAEaDMceVcFZ
obsession? - kpop.459Please respect copyright.PENANACg5P0ePW01
do you give second chances? - that depends.459Please respect copyright.PENANAkA1uBlt96t
play any sports? - no, bitch. the hell do i look like?459Please respect copyright.PENANAIupbWJlRuO
dream job? - kpop idol or just a singer in general.459Please respect copyright.PENANAwbMircMNc5
day or night? - idk.459Please respect copyright.PENANArfZNAro82q
your idea of a perfec date? - idk.459Please respect copyright.PENANAMvnUv2IqqD
sing in the shower? - yes, motherfucker. i throw whole ass concerts in the shower.459Please respect copyright.PENANA6wSqqHeV8n
favourite colour(s)? - purple and black.459Please respect copyright.PENANAcWSmqSmPns
any tattoos? - nope. i'm lame.459Please respect copyright.PENANAgAWocFnnaT
any peircings? - yes, in my ears.459Please respect copyright.PENANAQU8Wcp32DD
favourite movie(s)? - idk.459Please respect copyright.PENANAA9cELbVvsE
current mood? - bored and tired.459Please respect copyright.PENANA8NcTBloNHV
jealous of? - a lot of things.459Please respect copyright.PENANA4aRfiyclo5
place you want to visit? - south korea and cambodia.459Please respect copyright.PENANAIOD8sD7RHz
pets? - two dogs.459Please respect copyright.PENANA3vKfSFy2ij
last song you listened to? - spring day and currently listening to crystal snow and trying not to cry. so far succesful in not crying and the song is ending.459Please respect copyright.PENANAsshpgbAdXm
favourite number? - seven.459Please respect copyright.PENANArZmctnXrXp
nicknames? - vanilla, alex, suga, steph.459Please respect copyright.PENANALgepoO8Cli
siblings? - 5 older sisters and 2 brothers.459Please respect copyright.PENANAT0jPeI6rtD
afraid of the dark? - yes.459Please respect copyright.PENANACZm8qYoHco
one wish? - to be happy for real.459Please respect copyright.PENANAYf5TkvEhDa
something you want to do!? - live life. vibe, you know?459Please respect copyright.PENANAxefffeQQII
~459Please respect copyright.PENANAbf35PbjYe9
full name? - mind your fucking business, damn.459Please respect copyright.PENANAmvzvqw3h0z
age? - i'm still seven years old.459Please respect copyright.PENANAH6wZ5ly25q
idols? - bts, stray kids, blackpink, kamla harris, etc.459Please respect copyright.PENANAe3S9KD6I9R
something you hate about yourself? - my body.459Please respect copyright.PENANAw0IaKlj6FK
something you like about yourself? - idk.459Please respect copyright.PENANARU5dHpppMW
someone you hate? - jason derulo and donald trump.459Please respect copyright.PENANAWUGZ6UPT4H
favourite band? - bts.459Please respect copyright.PENANAWo8ECBsQVr
say 'sexy' what do you think of? - that time when stray kids was still nine members and they were roleplaying. felix was a grand father and he has this old man voice and it was still sexy but funny. but that's not it. he said sexy instead of saekshi, i guess and woojin corrected him and felix kept saying saekshi over and over. oh, i also think of bts and just-- agh!459Please respect copyright.PENANAjZZkfoTsK6
ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend? - no, of course not.459Please respect copyright.PENANADfgOjP4GfS
where do you want to be right now? - idk. south korea.459Please respect copyright.PENANA4pK9b89MTW
girl crush? - emmi.459Please respect copyright.PENANAAzHL2rU8TS
boy crush? - bts. plural, bitch.459Please respect copyright.PENANAQzJi7YU0sg
an embarrassing memory? - look at this top ^459Please respect copyright.PENANAkHbU4ngOD4
talents? - singing.459Please respect copyright.PENANAaDdJHp8cL2
soemone i miss? - my step-mom.459Please respect copyright.PENANALnb5cJUTbd
someone i love? - emmi.459Please respect copyright.PENANAkiJ2HtxL4f
my future goals? - idk. graduate school. succeed in life, i guess.459Please respect copyright.PENANAs4vX8E42EP
a confession? - i am not ninety-one years old.459Please respect copyright.PENANAcE8FW0HUMs
something i'm addicted to? - love and affection even though i don't get a lot of them. oh, also, drugs! yeah, no. i'm playing.459Please respect copyright.PENANALrak6jbElP
favourite animal? - dogs.459Please respect copyright.PENANAIsQwyaPrHD
favourite tv couples? - weiyoung and touba jun. minde and di. jin-wook and yu-mi. spongebob and sandy. probably more but i don't feel like going through them all. 459Please respect copyright.PENANAD27139Dwor
ships? - namjin, jikook, taekook, sope.459Please respect copyright.PENANAIgwJyOAzTK
worst movie you've ever saw? - i don't remember what it was called but it was just terrible. i was so cunfused.459Please respect copyright.PENANADNgQqqdEd3
what's your biggest wish? - to be a singer.459Please respect copyright.PENANAwCuadBAUBe
bad habits? - hitting people out of affection. being sarcastic.459Please respect copyright.PENANAg3xUjVdOc9
food you hate? - pineapple pizza, school luch fried chicken because that chicken be fake and disgusting. caviar. 459Please respect copyright.PENANAwJzGCP9Io7
hair colour? - brown. i'm ugly as fuck so when i say i feel sexy, ignore that shit.459Please respect copyright.PENANAO6TjACoUdQ
favourite kind of ice cream? - cookies & cream and chocolate.459Please respect copyright.PENANAPEZG8Svqmx
~459Please respect copyright.PENANAnB8DSwBeRv
gender? - oppa attack helicopter and/or female.459Please respect copyright.PENANAMbim2KDTof
country? - i don't live on earth. 459Please respect copyright.PENANACMrc4djlnm
languages you speak? - lunarian, trigedasleng, english, tiny korean, sorta french, kinda spanish.459Please respect copyright.PENANAqsOmGEEaYR
last lie you told? - that i'm pretty.459Please respect copyright.PENANAxWaAelGBcs
favourite subject in school? - english language arts.459Please respect copyright.PENANAY1lfR6UQ5z
most expensive item you own? - a pair of vans.459Please respect copyright.PENANAdJCwVGCX3V
country with your favourite accent? - australia.459Please respect copyright.PENANA7F4VLRClRw
do you have any children? - i was about to answer like, bitch wtf, no. but i do. li minde, touba jun, touba yu, cheng de, li weiyoung, jun tao, bai zhi, jungkook, jennie, lisa, ni-ki, all of txt, jasper from the 100, etc. i have a lot of kids.459Please respect copyright.PENANABnlOJqUGxz
dog or cat person? - both.459Please respect copyright.PENANAb11LhSXf6F
first kiss? if so, what age? - yes. thirteen years old.459Please respect copyright.PENANAvGsRMmH40G
do you live in a house or apartment? - nosy, i declare. i live in a house. damn.459Please respect copyright.PENANAYh8WEOFzaO
do you belive in God? - idk.459Please respect copyright.PENANAoMnwXWd8XA
single or taken? - taken.459Please respect copyright.PENANASot6jZCaEQ
favourite body part of the opposite gender? - well, damn. heh heh. nah, perverts. torso and hands, omg. *dies*459Please respect copyright.PENANA3NqU3DrvwH
birthday year? - 1930.459Please respect copyright.PENANAFLEO91bW91
celebrity crush? - holy fuck, dude. i have a lot.459Please respect copyright.PENANAPQNHOK7YpZ
age? - what's that?459Please respect copyright.PENANAch6pmh4yrM
enthinicity? - african american.459Please respect copyright.PENANARAuJTehqMp
tea or coffee? - neither.459Please respect copyright.PENANAcvGNArgJX9
random skill you have? - i can make people smile.459Please respect copyright.PENANArG8byMTYfc
prefer hugs or kisses? - i mean, both. *slow motion walks looking stupid as fuck*459Please respect copyright.PENANACST6fioyXX
favourite food? - ice cream.459Please respect copyright.PENANAhIJpwVBWRQ
last person you saw naked? - myself, you fucking icky nasty. 459Please respect copyright.PENANAmzah2Wb0oq
shared nudes? - damn, people are nosy but yes.459Please respect copyright.PENANAtLGlFKzcnN
eye colour? - the rainbow. get on my level.459Please respect copyright.PENANAEUFRbHgcwa
favourite soda? - sprite.459Please respect copyright.PENANAbWo8w3Tpqn
biggest pet peeve? - people being people.459Please respect copyright.PENANA57uHDWWi8V
can you swim? - yes, wtf?459Please respect copyright.PENANAiIldYGulu0
favourite song at the moment? - 19 by stray kids but that could change every 2 seconds. honestly i don't think i have a favourite song.459Please respect copyright.PENANAUXNgCKR8cx
do you watch porn? - no, but i have with my cousin and her friends because we wanted to see the tony lopez leaked video so we searched porn hub. one thing went to another and we ended up seeing an apparent james charles leaked sex tape and then my cousin and her friend sat there and watched a bondage for like an hour while me and her other friend decided to cleanse our eyes with bleach and protect our assholes.459Please respect copyright.PENANAyRKE8REWse
virgin? - yes, omg. nasty.459Please respect copyright.PENANAT0BPDFa7WC
favourite social media platform(s) - twitter, weverse, snapchat.459Please respect copyright.PENANA5qLK3CuQYn
colour of your current bed sheets? - weird question but, uhm, they're grey...yep *nodding*459Please respect copyright.PENANAvJjLNmp1B2
apple or andriod? - apple.459Please respect copyright.PENANAo84a6m1Y63
best dessert? - mochi.459Please respect copyright.PENANAfDvYx2B3XV
~459Please respect copyright.PENANAhwXm75zndP
have you ever:459Please respect copyright.PENANARyema5Smko
1. skipped class? - yes.459Please respect copyright.PENANA2t5DMDpNVk
2. done drugs? - no.459Please respect copyright.PENANATYaTHG0NWS
3. self-harmed? - yes.459Please respect copyright.PENANAGwQlQrSMhY
4. drank? - no.459Please respect copyright.PENANA7sbjlmzO3Y
5. shoplifted? - yes.459Please respect copyright.PENANAPAX5zdI1Y6
6. gotten a tattoo? - no.459Please respect copyright.PENANAyeGEeZZ1di
7. broken up with someone? - yes.459Please respect copyright.PENANAoiscjnDtvO
what's your favourite:459Please respect copyright.PENANAabvbfkgoJT
8. show? - the princess weiyoung.459Please respect copyright.PENANAnHAYmrnIuX
9. movie? - break the silence.459Please respect copyright.PENANAmzGZPcqPQI
10. song? - idk anymore and i just answered that, like, 5 minutes ago, omg.459Please respect copyright.PENANANaisDieo0z
11. artist? - bts.459Please respect copyright.PENANAe2yKGEnjih
12. singer or band? - bts.459Please respect copyright.PENANAgoGRvFvlva
13. memory? - idk.459Please respect copyright.PENANASUDsXnfPFf
14. book? - the cruel prince.459Please respect copyright.PENANAKEuZiczh9Q
this or that:459Please respect copyright.PENANAXkHkPt2h77
15. invisibility or ability to fly? - fly.459Please respect copyright.PENANAEbDvjmlsde
16. cookies or cake? - cookies.459Please respect copyright.PENANAvgo0Gq4OFd
17. twitter or facebook? - twitter.459Please respect copyright.PENANAKvtJWMesEy
18. movies or books? - idk.459Please respect copyright.PENANANbzUPjeLk8
19. coke or sprite? - sprite.459Please respect copyright.PENANAbyEdQRWeKI
20. blind of deaf? - blind.459Please respect copyright.PENANA7CDjrujsYf
21. tea or coffee? - neither.459Please respect copyright.PENANA7viJtsfbX4
what's your:459Please respect copyright.PENANAzdxMBxr59e
22. age? - ninety-one.459Please respect copyright.PENANAtK66sU7FW5
23. zodiac sign? - virgo/libra cusp.459Please respect copyright.PENANAxFkBM1ggZW
24. height? - 4'11.459Please respect copyright.PENANAF8BhiRjhvb
25. sexual orientation? - bisexual.459Please respect copyright.PENANAt4ZrlfNnPs
26. shoe size? - seven.459Please respect copyright.PENANAcoBJFcy8iz
27. religion? - i'm not religious.459Please respect copyright.PENANAaNCxm2e1hG
28. longest relationship? - like, five months.459Please respect copyright.PENANA6kDggg23vr
opinion on: 459Please respect copyright.PENANAqAQuQEJPwW
29. gay rights? - i'm gay...459Please respect copyright.PENANAlLF01netA7
30. second chances? - it depends.459Please respect copyright.PENANAnr5Jt0m4gx
31. long distance relationships? - don't get hurt, baby.459Please respect copyright.PENANAVE0CsGKcYB
32. abortion? - ew.459Please respect copyright.PENANAM8NrnSH8Gc
33. a death penalty? - ew.459Please respect copyright.PENANAr1TWeMFyel
34. marijuana? - i likes that.459Please respect copyright.PENANAantPFCcH0x
35. love? - what's love?459Please respect copyright.PENANAvwk8U4WcGj
do you:459Please respect copyright.PENANArdCxcqBztW
36. belive in ghosts? - sorta kinda.459Please respect copyright.PENANA7CLGK6O5Bq
459Please respect copyright.PENANAEvvqZSoRdr
omg, bye. i'm tired of this.
- Alex <3459Please respect copyright.PENANAto52AtAeRx