《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbaabjUmtu
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8gmp2vbuc
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問我為什麼？328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllJi1xb1pG
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原因很簡單。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SytP0RM6j
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因為我是個單身狗。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxc5VtLOR9
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AQ6vvE2Kp
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQsDl9WKTC
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocPK0c31ul
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM4vHWvgyx
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「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvN7kPj0cmQ
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfvnOMqMuu
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RhOG48LJX
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「你上次也是這麼說。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa7BRfIZ81
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr38axvfEw7
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8wIKaOO1c
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4EHO0fbhJ
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfshe5VSPNl
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TpUeYzv9m
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeBYotFgI3
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIQuhLTfBp
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspCoNSwmtb
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YPcpZS1XQ
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIpLZyaZ7j
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFvOwthXt0
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrCmYQomTt
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYxpBv27eD
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWTWzPYNq1
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ075ZY2TfZ0
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbK5AcJtwo
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIK1brUBnx
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4dTMBbaDX

賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN16qSlVsrI
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IpLtyTatm
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1GXsmPxw7
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXatQbG4SF
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QEDxdZA6M

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXXyjvhi1V
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQP7YbIgf9
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ubaqxvqVj
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK0FTrSvNV

「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcse0yaT9A
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqvhdSa6Gr
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sQhHmhu91
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1SpCTu6ca
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hczoRTF3X
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像是現在。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd1Iv2bjDR
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEbDY8ly7U
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSKShHTQWV
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEar9AbMd9c
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFAqnqdD9O

「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6eCIBshvb
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNFlDrPAd7
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeE4eL5i30
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVCc50WENR
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8Xp1N6TMo

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Jei2R3Flx
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7rtDLABK8
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq4r2nTv3j
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoo7Ie14SE1
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahdy6AkzgY
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gfvN5MHDy
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvEvIlr9WU
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「你本來說歐威爾。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdwAdaZZGG
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「那、那是一時口誤……」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzvRc0FdTS
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJdzG5gKAl
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZlgnHSyS5
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdc4OYDbSHK
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo88R7agCFL
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7PTwV3pKd
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSeSp1vV5p
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu1PwofslX
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOmc8Wxv6h
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUHwVTSgMX
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTs5U6XdD9
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZ0d8rsIO5
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkCBHtPHuR
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1yrfNqqrP
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她根本就沒在聽啊！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6t6pfrlcfD
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUNI1Kle0q
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vijO9mONi
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsP5w6QptHy
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSMkjD2RR6
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9AuWQuxmN
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUkrKrBCxD
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cJSI0VFIc

所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuHtKNxhTv
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIg8SPefyXM

「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCNQqdOJEQ
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「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AqOGnzhrC
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「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWgeDdgiXk
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZD76MSnDv

她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRAyWtxgYv
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兩次。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzLeXcWvF9
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRj2iwm4GA8
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuRv1AGo3q

「三岐同學真壞。」

328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnOCvn4laE

「好糟糕喔。」

328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfv0HXJq0t

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU53rTf94n
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說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG1kMdQLlR
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXCoPdqsai

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2C25HP4EJA
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E6TaHvqaO

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iqkshRFmu
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「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsD0txv107q
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nFyDaaSwc

「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzqg3VU5qr
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY2C3y4SgY

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH1A9DCYXe
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「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEv1FXsg0c
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8wiSB8ozH

「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5liMvtKYD
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「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZcRnTSbE0
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNJx5t9J0u

「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pdeezuCAW
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplQSulA4ub

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHODHJn80o
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSPSsGdlfZ

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkj3GYGZ9Z
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNFzu0isKa

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNWOSLyAOn
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiW6a8jWT8

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMpztewjdH
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wS3gDf7co

「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzN7fijD8Ww
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJa4Dlvvt9

「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmQnV9OlRI
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNOHVeb24B

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMajppUOvjx
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYTRTgd58R
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    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcltas0CYGW
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUO9Td4RaD
328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaISIk7GcHD
  當日結果：328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvLaRbtzjM

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaroB8M1IKS
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RmqD517oY
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbth17XXmzs
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。328Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlnTywnRJf
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柳困依然單身。

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第一章 體育課！

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第一章體育課！