109Please respect copyright.PENANAoMaprKXr5y
我看見那碎了一地的玻璃珠。109Please respect copyright.PENANASc6FvsYZyy
那些碎片無聲的哭著,為了不被人發現而閃著光。我可以從那些碎片裡知道他曾經完整的時刻,想像他被人愛著的樣子,那想必非常美麗吧。109Please respect copyright.PENANApnkzYhUJRc
109Please respect copyright.PENANAoqEPNuz532
美麗的,超脫人類的純粹,美好的不該出現在這個世界上。109Please respect copyright.PENANACwFEid9gYZ
所以被人打碎了。109Please respect copyright.PENANAN0bHmPrDoA
109Please respect copyright.PENANAE0XgverrlM
但那人一定不知道,他即便被打碎,那份美麗也不會因此有所減損。109Please respect copyright.PENANAk97hg6aaE9
109Please respect copyright.PENANA0C3JoPL3sp
我可以看見他那些將人刺傷的眼淚,連同他那不願意刺傷人的溫柔,只要躺在他身邊入睡,為了不讓人受傷,他就會慢慢恢復原狀,混進一點瑪瑙色的塵埃,變得更加美麗,不被任何人取代。109Please respect copyright.PENANAOQzRhFtErI
109Please respect copyright.PENANAddyES8r7v3
旁人能為他做的事,打一開始就不存在吧。109Please respect copyright.PENANAocFn5XKKUa
リンドウ需要的事物,必須由他交付給自己才行。109Please respect copyright.PENANA44ZcUvR0Sn
109Please respect copyright.PENANAOXA9v6eXyJ
109Please respect copyright.PENANAzgmRTlMHCX
「你明天有甚麼安排嗎?」109Please respect copyright.PENANAFKgC3pv3Pk
109Please respect copyright.PENANAhW7dROzqvv
粗糙的線條在胸口遊走,他眨了眨眼睛,看著那些線條走過的地方。109Please respect copyright.PENANARTlFF0sAhV
「早上有事務所的舞蹈練習,下午有錄音。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAc20tvOuNw9
109Please respect copyright.PENANAVu7qLoHqWX
「也就是說不用脫衣服對吧。」109Please respect copyright.PENANArVRAJMAc1C
「嗯,但是……啊——」109Please respect copyright.PENANAVQwG7HdgFY
109Please respect copyright.PENANACQhLPhtAvI
但是練習後汗水流過傷口會很痛,跳舞的時候拉扯到傷口或許會流血也說不定。雖然想這麼回應,但他自己的疼痛和鮮血,跟「客人」的快樂是不能相提並論的。109Please respect copyright.PENANAi4lBaomL1D
比起做愛,那個「客人」更喜歡鞭子和蠟燭,長住的飯店裡有個房間是為他量身打造的,不管怎麼哭喊也不會被人發現,就算被發現了也不會有人理會。109Please respect copyright.PENANA87pq3785sA
109Please respect copyright.PENANADH1D4YBVde
「不過下午有錄音是吧?那得小心不要叫啞了。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAYKofkrW8Eq
109Please respect copyright.PENANASz96frFsyB
他咬緊牙。109Please respect copyright.PENANA0xLgeoOC6h
尖銳的只有鞭子呼嘯而過的風聲,還有不經意洩出的,連自己都不願意承認的尖叫。109Please respect copyright.PENANAqF1cQffIKH
109Please respect copyright.PENANAU2JhKeV0jC
「這點程度不算甚麼吧?你應該已經習慣了。」109Please respect copyright.PENANA5w4kjxOoAE
「嗯……」他嚥下即將從喉中湧出的甜腥味。「我沒事的,請您繼續。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAfeCvtcomKN
109Please respect copyright.PENANAtpjYb4DdCg
快點結束,快點讓這個夜晚落幕。109Please respect copyright.PENANAZVuNdGaZFd
不想聽見的哭聲在內心深處迴響著。109Please respect copyright.PENANAHq05YEnLJ0
109Please respect copyright.PENANA3cZFKL9dpE
這點程度不算甚麼,沒事的,沒事的。109Please respect copyright.PENANAba7GL94JlJ
摻著腥氣的自我安慰在耳邊呢喃著。109Please respect copyright.PENANAdNJqu33jZB
109Please respect copyright.PENANArn2UyCp41P
即便那個「客人」的名字和長相早已埋沒在記憶之中,那些積累的疼痛依然不時出現在夢裡。109Please respect copyright.PENANApmUbNml8a0
除了自己的聲音之外,他沒有其他能依靠的話語。109Please respect copyright.PENANAshdUPFHaQy
109Please respect copyright.PENANACK9fS7bUDT
謊言的水滴帶著溫熱的腥氣,從劃開的傷口處流入口中。他的飢渴無論如何都無法滿足,只是追著眼前的血液,試圖填滿心中的乾涸。109Please respect copyright.PENANAZkmtVbp0eG
109Please respect copyright.PENANAIF2Mv8eFQj
「工作很忙的話,不用特地過來醫院也沒關係的。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAPtv8WylHxv
109Please respect copyright.PENANATDOhB4X8y9
晃眼的白佈滿視野,能清楚聽見的只有那溫柔的關懷,他眨了眨眼。109Please respect copyright.PENANAX9FKFgWs7C
「不,是我想見姐姐才來的。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAWnmkCIyVVx
109Please respect copyright.PENANA018ykc3XNO
「不要太勉強自己喔。」109Please respect copyright.PENANALEjoMsMB48
「嗯,我知道。姐姐,我差不多該回事務所了。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAQW34ogmLlN
109Please respect copyright.PENANApaT6hDrGzo
想像以前那樣,跟姐姐說「好痛」,「好難過」,但說了也只是徒增煩惱而已,在變得想向人撒嬌之前,得快點離開才行。109Please respect copyright.PENANA5x7YF2oI0t
109Please respect copyright.PENANA7EoDXzYMEe
「我很快就能出院了,總不能一直讓弟弟照顧,所以,如果你覺得累了的話……」109Please respect copyright.PENANAipWG6LB70H
109Please respect copyright.PENANAPsGhDK2aCA
讓生病的姐姐說出這種話……109Please respect copyright.PENANAQQIp9BDs7t
「姐姐,我很喜歡我現在的工作。不用擔心我,我沒事的。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAKwRw5eaL0y
109Please respect copyright.PENANAlWPJac4d4d
「這樣啊。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAJUmkYRoGTP
109Please respect copyright.PENANAe6nvouwqbE
姐姐皺著眉朝他笑了笑,他大概也露出了同樣的表情吧。但是面對彼此,除了蒼白的「我沒事」以外,甚麼都說不出口。109Please respect copyright.PENANA5rFjDElMdg
他撒謊從來沒能瞞過姐姐,姐姐的檢查報告也不可能繞過他,不管怎麼掙扎,面對的只有每況愈下的現實和彼此的謊言。109Please respect copyright.PENANAQI6ta2KrP6
109Please respect copyright.PENANAdmBcw8DxTm
他眨了眨眼,把即將奪眶而出的淚水堵回。109Please respect copyright.PENANAXbi7mYdWSt
109Please respect copyright.PENANAhFimDHegqo
109Please respect copyright.PENANA8m49VcmCtl
「你現在叫リンドウ啊?」眼前這人的名字他已經忘了,但這副帶著玩味的表情他還記憶猶新。109Please respect copyright.PENANAKYhPaozE58
109Please respect copyright.PENANAmeCe8jqMp7
「跟你沒有關係。」109Please respect copyright.PENANATH0nMZKRoT
109Please respect copyright.PENANAV8ucA5zCko
「真冷淡啊,當初我們那麼要好不是嗎……」對方的手指做作的搔刮他的下巴,但這只是虛張聲勢。109Please respect copyright.PENANAnCHCv12Vif
109Please respect copyright.PENANAUHJ7bejvjP
不管是リンドウ還是對方,都不過是收藏櫃裡漂亮的展示品而已。109Please respect copyright.PENANAV2LzaCZzQz
就像リンドウ的謊一樣,對方也有保護自己尊嚴的手段。109Please respect copyright.PENANAEpWyxgiDtJ
109Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3ZLs428Ld
リンドウ閉上眼,腦海裡浮出的是雙帶著憧憬的眼神。109Please respect copyright.PENANA2PFBz6b1Rw
——我一直很崇拜你,因為喜歡你才決定當偶像的。109Please respect copyright.PENANAc8akY6AvQM
109Please respect copyright.PENANAEE0LlE5Y9e
「你放下工作到這裡來,只是為了說這種話嗎?」109Please respect copyright.PENANAj8vlcZiaUB
リンドウ睜開眼睛,那雙憧憬早在時光中支離破碎,只剩下脆弱的自尊裹著空洞的內裡。109Please respect copyright.PENANAaBMRMYAQBY
109Please respect copyright.PENANA8uwKdw0pRZ
「不,我是來給你送信的。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAmhZa306Uwl
對方指間夾著一封信,封口上的筆跡眼熟到讓人作嘔的程度。109Please respect copyright.PENANA0wNadd6v6S
109Please respect copyright.PENANA0uTObeATOZ
「我不會收那個人的信的。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAXRBwxNW6ni
「你會收的,因為不是別人,而是我來送信的。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAgqL837zF7q
109Please respect copyright.PENANA8ap6Dhl0Xz
——偶像是這種……像妓女一樣的工作嗎?我一直以來崇拜著的,原來是這樣骯髒的人嗎?109Please respect copyright.PENANAuD1VA9YVEA
自作主張的把別人當作夢想,將一切歸罪於他人。109Please respect copyright.PENANAkcH0oRJZCp
109Please respect copyright.PENANAVPdNPpk9Gv
——說點什麼啊,為什麼不否認?109Please respect copyright.PENANApXLGUuQLZ3
擅自覺得對方會因此而有罪惡感。109Please respect copyright.PENANAW7EMO75vdt
109Please respect copyright.PENANAXzxWga0a6H
リンドウ冷冷地看著那封信,以及那微微顫抖的手指。109Please respect copyright.PENANAeRSmdwqeLL
並不是因為覺得對他有所虧欠,只是出於廉價的,對過去的自己的同情而已,リンドウ伸手接下那封信。109Please respect copyright.PENANAPdFicXlQHX
109Please respect copyright.PENANACVNbMPRO0J
「我收下信了。這樣就行了吧?」他將信對折幾次,將封口上的筆跡和混亂藏起,朝對方笑了笑。109Please respect copyright.PENANAAmn2BYqU5x
109Please respect copyright.PENANAxLwS6nCNH5
リンドウ的笑似乎刺傷他了,對方遊刃有餘的表情出現裂口。109Please respect copyright.PENANA4M9SBxLYkQ
「……如果你也過得悲慘的話就好了。」他的手按在牆上,將リンドウ蓋在他的陰影之下。「只有你像沒事一樣站在地獄外頭微笑什麼的,太礙眼了。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAPD86rANDKc
109Please respect copyright.PENANAC8F0XeIIKA
「所以你才告訴那個人我的行蹤嗎?」109Please respect copyright.PENANA7791fY2NCU
109Please respect copyright.PENANARhyZHRXwmf
「只是偶然在網路上看到而已,關於你的事情總是消失的太快了,像是被誰特意藏起來一樣。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAJZnVtJ4mEL
109Please respect copyright.PENANAgNGNXcYEyD
像是被誰特意藏起來一樣……109Please respect copyright.PENANAsmMy2m2Qbx
リンドウ闔上眼睛,背靠著牆不做回答。109Please respect copyright.PENANAjKdE4mTGl4
109Please respect copyright.PENANA8Uem1rCDzz
「我曾經很喜歡你的,那個人也是。」109Please respect copyright.PENANA9abxIRHTzC
睜開眼睛,對方已經離開了,或許是他開口趕走的,又或是對方自行離開的,他不記得自己是怎麼度過這段時間的。109Please respect copyright.PENANA2ry9DLSa5o
109Please respect copyright.PENANAUz7OloAbzc
不管是向雜誌爆料他的私事的人,還是一次次設計把他帶到飯店房間裡的人,那些情感收束起來都寫著扭曲的「喜歡」的字眼。109Please respect copyright.PENANAIBsRSJiBx1
「喜歡」也好,「愛」也好,雖然知道那些詞背後蘊含了美好的事物,但那都只存在於他以外的世界裡。109Please respect copyright.PENANAEeFQL2sKpp
109Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2JJzsoaAW
因為「喜歡」,所以想知道,因為「喜歡」,所以想破壞掉。109Please respect copyright.PENANA7T1hCi7EMK
「喜歡」到底是甚麼呢?美麗的解釋和刺痛的記憶一同浮出,他剛相信哪邊才好?109Please respect copyright.PENANAKOjWI6lUwt
109Please respect copyright.PENANAesDqLh4eFo
「喂,リンドウ,你在這裡幹什麼。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAFsn96tgIXC
——把腳張開……109Please respect copyright.PENANApdnYHsLvJf
109Please respect copyright.PENANA9FMLAJeLh1
身體不自覺地想閃避聲音的源頭,未經允許的回想起早已遠去的疼痛。109Please respect copyright.PENANAPwWqaxyT9C
109Please respect copyright.PENANALcKLk4jbaZ
冷靜下來,沒事的。109Please respect copyright.PENANAX4qCOuaSIV
リンドウ看著有些驚訝的黒曜,深吸口氣強迫自己放鬆下來。109Please respect copyright.PENANAk4ywbfI2DH
109Please respect copyright.PENANA1V13XxQgRy
沒事的,沒事的,我有好好藏起來,只是出了一點小意外而已。109Please respect copyright.PENANA7axmuiODWT
藏在手裡的信被捏成小團,恐慌壓縮成小塊,他眨了眨眼,熟練的收拾好表情。
連自己都保護不了甚麼的,已經是很久以前的事情了。109Please respect copyright.PENANASfih1c4bt7
109Please respect copyright.PENANAKn9pKq8gjM
109Please respect copyright.PENANAUBDZ1WDwvA
「如果因為你的事情,而被牽連出其他見不得人的嗜好的話會很麻煩的。」那人將幾張照片扔進碎紙機裡。「所以從明天開始你就會從這個業界裡消失。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAcvTWZDNSqa
109Please respect copyright.PENANANw3olJilfN
這個客人是個收藏家,正當著リンドウ的面將他那些收藏品銷毀。109Please respect copyright.PENANApqIktG9rPL
109Please respect copyright.PENANAhBIcFgYGqq
「不過,說到消失也有很多種方法,有希望麻煩的源頭離得越遠越好的人,也有準備了項圈和地下室在等著飼養你的人。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAQNFbHUHow4
109Please respect copyright.PENANARY7ZMm2qkl
リンドウ坐在床上,用手碰了碰圈著脖子的皮革製品,莫名覺得好笑。109Please respect copyright.PENANAPJsOetiAVY
109Please respect copyright.PENANAnZpXN5X7PS
「您也打算飼養我嗎?」109Please respect copyright.PENANA3ji9Oq7UwD
「怎麼會呢?你是個聰明的孩子,知道我們不會在這時候丟著你不管。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAyKpfZK6pNB
109Please respect copyright.PENANAbPXB6lruNP
潛入最深的夜裡,沾上夜晚的吻痕,當有一天他被人曝曬在陽光下時,那些親吻過他的人也將無所遁形。109Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ya3qQAjrn
這是他所能做的唯一的算計。109Please respect copyright.PENANAPxiJUHicsX
109Please respect copyright.PENANAgXBKsGtBsZ
「你姐姐已經被轉到我熟人的醫院了,我也準備了不會過問你過去的場所,只要你安安靜靜的待在那裡不出來就行了。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAgeNRJ2iMjG
109Please respect copyright.PENANAeMJRLIGSio
「這不就是飼養嗎?」109Please respect copyright.PENANAhsNRG9Qkgg
「但籠子比較大不是嗎?而且也沒有項圈。雖然你經紀人那裡不歸我管,但我有辦法讓他找不到你,這樣你就該滿足了吧?」109Please respect copyright.PENANAERSSF2iZlP
109Please respect copyright.PENANAI51YbbSBmJ
滿足?109Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7Q0bHOHyB
109Please respect copyright.PENANA1V6eAx2rt2
在他消失之後,那個人也只是受到些輕微的懲罰,在給人送上新的年輕祭品之後,又會回到原來的樣子吧?109Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2tefcantT
他只是狼狽的逃走,將更艱難的路留給下一個替代他位子的人而已。109Please respect copyright.PENANAHqDHfVKb83
109Please respect copyright.PENANAVOLR3LYvhX
滿足?109Please respect copyright.PENANANzHM3sIb4e
109Please respect copyright.PENANAkZOdyYVD9K
「你會乖乖聽話的對吧?在關於你的收藏品都銷毀掉的現在,連你本人都得銷毀掉的話,我會很心痛的。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAQj17ABPLVH
那人跩住皮帶的另一端,將項圈收緊,一邊說著「愛」,一邊將氧氣從他身上奪走。109Please respect copyright.PENANACRdew7HRpM
109Please respect copyright.PENANABIcrD7iijn
來做個保險吧。那人朝他晃了晃錄音筆。109Please respect copyright.PENANAPPsEuuvbfI
「說你愛我。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAGkuOCsmtBg
109Please respect copyright.PENANA2uxUVcTMvs
「我……愛您……」109Please respect copyright.PENANAUZaQM6ij6L
109Please respect copyright.PENANAvr4iM4fIT9
沒事的,沒事的……109Please respect copyright.PENANAhonGJ74LU9
今天之後就能得到解脫了。109Please respect copyright.PENANAoF01xIZKsv
109Please respect copyright.PENANAVdtftpTU3v
——從那些「愛」著我的人的手中。109Please respect copyright.PENANAxAsfdwsL0G
109Please respect copyright.PENANAeYdX2klypL
「在我去見你之前,你可別逃走喔。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAvXSLdemriH
沒事的,那個人到不了這裡,就像他無法離開這裡一樣。沒事的。109Please respect copyright.PENANAXqf6wYlzuU
109Please respect copyright.PENANAORFcFxbGLY
「沒事的,リンドウ……」109Please respect copyright.PENANAHSgI6iNtv4
109Please respect copyright.PENANAFG6CK1PFcC
熟悉卻又喚不起名字的聲音和自己的話語重疊。109Please respect copyright.PENANAV72IQgZ5UE
那是只屬於他的謊言,一旦由他人說出口,那些事似乎就會真的變得無關緊要起來。109Please respect copyright.PENANAibY79PxfhN
109Please respect copyright.PENANABH9VNvCykY
「才不是……沒事……」109Please respect copyright.PENANAQAoFMdDKOJ
喉嚨裡蓄積了無數個夜晚的鮮血,沒能填補胸口的空缺,只是黏稠的附在聲音上,在口中動彈不得。109Please respect copyright.PENANAdx5BDPVYWZ
109Please respect copyright.PENANAnZK5zufoZl
才不是沒事,別對我說這種話。109Please respect copyright.PENANA64JasTo5Rf
想大聲咳嗽,讓那些透明的血液從話語身上離開——109Please respect copyright.PENANA4K19sEju7H
109Please respect copyright.PENANA4RVgZH1wAl
救救我。109Please respect copyright.PENANAE03zAFHbdU
109Please respect copyright.PENANAPaGkMIRfai
「這樣啊,リンドウ能說出來真是太好了。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAMnX9whsZq6
109Please respect copyright.PENANA8XNm0fqx2L
再多說一點也沒關係。109Please respect copyright.PENANAnTlk2nSNLI
一隻手溫柔的撫摸著他的頭髮,會不會突然用力的拉扯髮絲,將更多他所害怕的事物擠入身體裡呢?109Please respect copyright.PENANAAQNINofNIy
109Please respect copyright.PENANAtVwNX6579Z
「不想說也沒關係,如果リンドウ這麼期望的話,我就再多等一會吧。」109Please respect copyright.PENANAsdsqBAWe3V
109Please respect copyright.PENANAMrvAlb3GSX
天就快亮了,在那之前做個好夢吧。109Please respect copyright.PENANAfQ65gtV5rQ
那隻手反覆的,輕輕地拍撫著肩,他細數著,擔心會不會在來到某個數字時將他重重打醒。109Please respect copyright.PENANAlEKS7JV5V3
109Please respect copyright.PENANA19TLcsDuYW
數著,109Please respect copyright.PENANAijVQoinn9C
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