107Please respect copyright.PENANAu8kpVDoVWF
我看見那碎了一地的玻璃珠。107Please respect copyright.PENANA6BraRhuZtG
那些碎片無聲的哭著,為了不被人發現而閃著光。我可以從那些碎片裡知道他曾經完整的時刻,想像他被人愛著的樣子,那想必非常美麗吧。107Please respect copyright.PENANAjYC4wbl0Wq
107Please respect copyright.PENANA6Zad2HjbmD
美麗的,超脫人類的純粹,美好的不該出現在這個世界上。107Please respect copyright.PENANAHdf9CFTyyL
所以被人打碎了。107Please respect copyright.PENANAZj5U3D5lnZ
107Please respect copyright.PENANAPvQBAgr7WA
但那人一定不知道,他即便被打碎,那份美麗也不會因此有所減損。107Please respect copyright.PENANAODo492Az1h
107Please respect copyright.PENANA5z4fTTKRkF
我可以看見他那些將人刺傷的眼淚,連同他那不願意刺傷人的溫柔,只要躺在他身邊入睡,為了不讓人受傷,他就會慢慢恢復原狀,混進一點瑪瑙色的塵埃,變得更加美麗,不被任何人取代。107Please respect copyright.PENANAvLfpjPhtBJ
107Please respect copyright.PENANAdEJHVzcbrt
旁人能為他做的事,打一開始就不存在吧。107Please respect copyright.PENANAQowekj513D
リンドウ需要的事物,必須由他交付給自己才行。107Please respect copyright.PENANAdJfb50oxRz
107Please respect copyright.PENANAOdkgkYwo1I
107Please respect copyright.PENANAi8V1vL52ZQ
「你明天有甚麼安排嗎?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAg8nJW9ZoSp
107Please respect copyright.PENANA8Nf1qc0h7o
粗糙的線條在胸口遊走,他眨了眨眼睛,看著那些線條走過的地方。107Please respect copyright.PENANAG7bdtfG3gh
「早上有事務所的舞蹈練習,下午有錄音。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAUHvBwb3oDv
107Please respect copyright.PENANAgPsRYjZFwp
「也就是說不用脫衣服對吧。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAIXTxCskByd
「嗯,但是……啊——」107Please respect copyright.PENANAu0Cv43xns8
107Please respect copyright.PENANAwVI9rMtzAc
但是練習後汗水流過傷口會很痛,跳舞的時候拉扯到傷口或許會流血也說不定。雖然想這麼回應,但他自己的疼痛和鮮血,跟「客人」的快樂是不能相提並論的。107Please respect copyright.PENANAQX7hJAw1mS
比起做愛,那個「客人」更喜歡鞭子和蠟燭,長住的飯店裡有個房間是為他量身打造的,不管怎麼哭喊也不會被人發現,就算被發現了也不會有人理會。107Please respect copyright.PENANA5XF8yd60ef
107Please respect copyright.PENANAU7fNtAwyAY
「不過下午有錄音是吧?那得小心不要叫啞了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAsmC4uN7db0
107Please respect copyright.PENANAF4fGBkAWuZ
他咬緊牙。107Please respect copyright.PENANAEyJb9eRNWf
尖銳的只有鞭子呼嘯而過的風聲,還有不經意洩出的,連自己都不願意承認的尖叫。107Please respect copyright.PENANAH5UxkMD8FF
107Please respect copyright.PENANArCE1ZhBry0
「這點程度不算甚麼吧?你應該已經習慣了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAYDyfh79FMv
「嗯……」他嚥下即將從喉中湧出的甜腥味。「我沒事的,請您繼續。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAZX9gLxoNs8
107Please respect copyright.PENANAkP42aFRTU4
快點結束,快點讓這個夜晚落幕。107Please respect copyright.PENANAWWKUxLKv33
不想聽見的哭聲在內心深處迴響著。107Please respect copyright.PENANAidhJnvMh0e
107Please respect copyright.PENANA8SJRCZm1HA
這點程度不算甚麼,沒事的,沒事的。107Please respect copyright.PENANAoUXkn9vOOB
摻著腥氣的自我安慰在耳邊呢喃著。107Please respect copyright.PENANAQc0DbyhdVv
107Please respect copyright.PENANAnegJshlWIC
即便那個「客人」的名字和長相早已埋沒在記憶之中,那些積累的疼痛依然不時出現在夢裡。107Please respect copyright.PENANAMUW5uRymb9
除了自己的聲音之外,他沒有其他能依靠的話語。107Please respect copyright.PENANAL7DVIzYUeP
107Please respect copyright.PENANAtOUWKVrWC7
謊言的水滴帶著溫熱的腥氣,從劃開的傷口處流入口中。他的飢渴無論如何都無法滿足,只是追著眼前的血液,試圖填滿心中的乾涸。107Please respect copyright.PENANAgfUd3uVJSF
107Please respect copyright.PENANAERexuqwbqR
「工作很忙的話,不用特地過來醫院也沒關係的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9L8Spu0Kh
107Please respect copyright.PENANAVU6frqMMpW
晃眼的白佈滿視野,能清楚聽見的只有那溫柔的關懷,他眨了眨眼。107Please respect copyright.PENANAwH8WUAXzCR
「不,是我想見姐姐才來的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAVZZRxZPvQM
107Please respect copyright.PENANAOdeF8vn09a
「不要太勉強自己喔。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAOgJrr7LHF2
「嗯,我知道。姐姐,我差不多該回事務所了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAgkB0sO9uM8
107Please respect copyright.PENANAtWlCOHQa80
想像以前那樣,跟姐姐說「好痛」,「好難過」,但說了也只是徒增煩惱而已,在變得想向人撒嬌之前,得快點離開才行。107Please respect copyright.PENANAGAIdwOOm5X
107Please respect copyright.PENANAdOJCAZSbJg
「我很快就能出院了,總不能一直讓弟弟照顧,所以,如果你覺得累了的話……」107Please respect copyright.PENANA9cbzWL1EGW
107Please respect copyright.PENANARgIXiVH2eh
讓生病的姐姐說出這種話……107Please respect copyright.PENANANisdVv13Nh
「姐姐,我很喜歡我現在的工作。不用擔心我,我沒事的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAwe08bKIzJX
107Please respect copyright.PENANAvIVISAodEL
「這樣啊。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAh1eWAWJkS4
107Please respect copyright.PENANAEWQG9eyvrp
姐姐皺著眉朝他笑了笑,他大概也露出了同樣的表情吧。但是面對彼此,除了蒼白的「我沒事」以外,甚麼都說不出口。107Please respect copyright.PENANAuyHDo3JGVY
他撒謊從來沒能瞞過姐姐,姐姐的檢查報告也不可能繞過他,不管怎麼掙扎,面對的只有每況愈下的現實和彼此的謊言。107Please respect copyright.PENANAPvpSuqVvfU
107Please respect copyright.PENANABQYhr3n3lU
他眨了眨眼,把即將奪眶而出的淚水堵回。107Please respect copyright.PENANAoPx3UuJYV7
107Please respect copyright.PENANAbJzBCoZV3a
107Please respect copyright.PENANAZDJPxiSz3d
「你現在叫リンドウ啊?」眼前這人的名字他已經忘了,但這副帶著玩味的表情他還記憶猶新。107Please respect copyright.PENANAgY8N4JWwLx
107Please respect copyright.PENANAvHlJADZBlc
「跟你沒有關係。」107Please respect copyright.PENANADGuucC173R
107Please respect copyright.PENANAvtLDGXb0XY
「真冷淡啊,當初我們那麼要好不是嗎……」對方的手指做作的搔刮他的下巴,但這只是虛張聲勢。107Please respect copyright.PENANAmc8KZPGQj0
107Please respect copyright.PENANAOv1UmBdrsG
不管是リンドウ還是對方,都不過是收藏櫃裡漂亮的展示品而已。107Please respect copyright.PENANAedtHWw4BXJ
就像リンドウ的謊一樣,對方也有保護自己尊嚴的手段。107Please respect copyright.PENANAtKH2JaAq3D
107Please respect copyright.PENANAvaTa04foef
リンドウ閉上眼,腦海裡浮出的是雙帶著憧憬的眼神。107Please respect copyright.PENANAHVJtmONcbD
——我一直很崇拜你,因為喜歡你才決定當偶像的。107Please respect copyright.PENANAUVNTRH3tEm
107Please respect copyright.PENANAsq7m8zbHMB
「你放下工作到這裡來,只是為了說這種話嗎?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAkAWXP9gPmM
リンドウ睜開眼睛,那雙憧憬早在時光中支離破碎,只剩下脆弱的自尊裹著空洞的內裡。107Please respect copyright.PENANAkMprekXFug
107Please respect copyright.PENANAB72Pa8f9jM
「不,我是來給你送信的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAo1tZxTIM9V
對方指間夾著一封信,封口上的筆跡眼熟到讓人作嘔的程度。107Please respect copyright.PENANAFbCDEI5kYw
107Please respect copyright.PENANA7Sl4ctO50P
「我不會收那個人的信的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAasQWiV5Drd
「你會收的,因為不是別人,而是我來送信的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAqC2z5RCeBB
107Please respect copyright.PENANABBDKzuYVzA
——偶像是這種……像妓女一樣的工作嗎?我一直以來崇拜著的,原來是這樣骯髒的人嗎?107Please respect copyright.PENANAue95FroAoK
自作主張的把別人當作夢想,將一切歸罪於他人。107Please respect copyright.PENANAfgooVcV2Nz
107Please respect copyright.PENANAiIGAGGkpZe
——說點什麼啊,為什麼不否認?107Please respect copyright.PENANABo9iC9QB9i
擅自覺得對方會因此而有罪惡感。107Please respect copyright.PENANA3Yx44T02bP
107Please respect copyright.PENANAVp73dlE9FY
リンドウ冷冷地看著那封信,以及那微微顫抖的手指。107Please respect copyright.PENANAHZORuS5ppZ
並不是因為覺得對他有所虧欠,只是出於廉價的,對過去的自己的同情而已,リンドウ伸手接下那封信。107Please respect copyright.PENANAsr2elWvPAJ
107Please respect copyright.PENANAsRA68gApTS
「我收下信了。這樣就行了吧?」他將信對折幾次,將封口上的筆跡和混亂藏起,朝對方笑了笑。107Please respect copyright.PENANA3xjXMofEgL
107Please respect copyright.PENANAl84fgRq1Jc
リンドウ的笑似乎刺傷他了,對方遊刃有餘的表情出現裂口。107Please respect copyright.PENANAhiAXHhiC41
「……如果你也過得悲慘的話就好了。」他的手按在牆上,將リンドウ蓋在他的陰影之下。「只有你像沒事一樣站在地獄外頭微笑什麼的,太礙眼了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAJYWpEAEpOq
107Please respect copyright.PENANAZXkZH0vRNH
「所以你才告訴那個人我的行蹤嗎?」107Please respect copyright.PENANASpmSm57mFX
107Please respect copyright.PENANAitzCeg3PMj
「只是偶然在網路上看到而已,關於你的事情總是消失的太快了,像是被誰特意藏起來一樣。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAGuQiHU91KS
107Please respect copyright.PENANAG6cHcdhZdO
像是被誰特意藏起來一樣……107Please respect copyright.PENANArEUKJXqwyv
リンドウ闔上眼睛,背靠著牆不做回答。107Please respect copyright.PENANAJX9iQelZnJ
107Please respect copyright.PENANAPljJKLhOYs
「我曾經很喜歡你的,那個人也是。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAbs1FncSPWu
睜開眼睛,對方已經離開了,或許是他開口趕走的,又或是對方自行離開的,他不記得自己是怎麼度過這段時間的。107Please respect copyright.PENANAgpyEmya5Bl
107Please respect copyright.PENANAOcOT3Zir7s
不管是向雜誌爆料他的私事的人,還是一次次設計把他帶到飯店房間裡的人,那些情感收束起來都寫著扭曲的「喜歡」的字眼。107Please respect copyright.PENANAU5ZmyUZ1iD
「喜歡」也好,「愛」也好,雖然知道那些詞背後蘊含了美好的事物,但那都只存在於他以外的世界裡。107Please respect copyright.PENANACJ2jIYmOXq
107Please respect copyright.PENANAy2nK1o3X3p
因為「喜歡」,所以想知道,因為「喜歡」,所以想破壞掉。107Please respect copyright.PENANAPGobZ2rd9M
「喜歡」到底是甚麼呢?美麗的解釋和刺痛的記憶一同浮出,他剛相信哪邊才好?107Please respect copyright.PENANAVfO2uihiQP
107Please respect copyright.PENANAE6wapn6Efp
「喂,リンドウ,你在這裡幹什麼。」107Please respect copyright.PENANApgP8e98jM7
——把腳張開……107Please respect copyright.PENANAZVGIIR7CKz
107Please respect copyright.PENANAHg0WTrCmQR
身體不自覺地想閃避聲音的源頭,未經允許的回想起早已遠去的疼痛。107Please respect copyright.PENANASaPFdyLAZN
107Please respect copyright.PENANAhdZUVEadv4
冷靜下來,沒事的。107Please respect copyright.PENANABbNXqFnxPV
リンドウ看著有些驚訝的黒曜,深吸口氣強迫自己放鬆下來。107Please respect copyright.PENANASJVd5Qzaiw
107Please respect copyright.PENANACHO37tM8Q7
沒事的,沒事的,我有好好藏起來,只是出了一點小意外而已。107Please respect copyright.PENANAKhLu9siM07
藏在手裡的信被捏成小團,恐慌壓縮成小塊,他眨了眨眼,熟練的收拾好表情。
連自己都保護不了甚麼的,已經是很久以前的事情了。107Please respect copyright.PENANARhbDh1oNPN
107Please respect copyright.PENANA9CsgDeIM7l
107Please respect copyright.PENANAy9CgIPNPDZ
「如果因為你的事情,而被牽連出其他見不得人的嗜好的話會很麻煩的。」那人將幾張照片扔進碎紙機裡。「所以從明天開始你就會從這個業界裡消失。」107Please respect copyright.PENANASdpjOPDXxb
107Please respect copyright.PENANAgfklWmJ919
這個客人是個收藏家,正當著リンドウ的面將他那些收藏品銷毀。107Please respect copyright.PENANA6JgOJ5zJ98
107Please respect copyright.PENANAbTIXHG7ZlZ
「不過,說到消失也有很多種方法,有希望麻煩的源頭離得越遠越好的人,也有準備了項圈和地下室在等著飼養你的人。」107Please respect copyright.PENANA91mq8O0Jr8
107Please respect copyright.PENANABJVgqO2lKv
リンドウ坐在床上,用手碰了碰圈著脖子的皮革製品,莫名覺得好笑。107Please respect copyright.PENANAS3NYqx8T7l
107Please respect copyright.PENANAGlutqEv8tQ
「您也打算飼養我嗎?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAMR1xd1M11i
「怎麼會呢?你是個聰明的孩子,知道我們不會在這時候丟著你不管。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAt1Lw4kwoqf
107Please respect copyright.PENANAY0Klu8qG46
潛入最深的夜裡,沾上夜晚的吻痕,當有一天他被人曝曬在陽光下時,那些親吻過他的人也將無所遁形。107Please respect copyright.PENANAu1LQFqIBZ0
這是他所能做的唯一的算計。107Please respect copyright.PENANASZUOr4hl80
107Please respect copyright.PENANAeuBQkFjQEx
「你姐姐已經被轉到我熟人的醫院了,我也準備了不會過問你過去的場所,只要你安安靜靜的待在那裡不出來就行了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ugb8cu6Jn
107Please respect copyright.PENANAxOqJjVFGFH
「這不就是飼養嗎?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAItmmxStdbd
「但籠子比較大不是嗎?而且也沒有項圈。雖然你經紀人那裡不歸我管,但我有辦法讓他找不到你,這樣你就該滿足了吧?」107Please respect copyright.PENANAfuTcTf9T03
107Please respect copyright.PENANAyYZunZYfHb
滿足?107Please respect copyright.PENANACqS69g3OVv
107Please respect copyright.PENANATQBfCoaLk3
在他消失之後,那個人也只是受到些輕微的懲罰,在給人送上新的年輕祭品之後,又會回到原來的樣子吧?107Please respect copyright.PENANAQrWv0tyoQi
他只是狼狽的逃走,將更艱難的路留給下一個替代他位子的人而已。107Please respect copyright.PENANAXdbrIxMnKA
107Please respect copyright.PENANADCj9GpMtZH
滿足?107Please respect copyright.PENANAmfE2QoUy7o
107Please respect copyright.PENANAYpZoBGB4np
「你會乖乖聽話的對吧?在關於你的收藏品都銷毀掉的現在,連你本人都得銷毀掉的話,我會很心痛的。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAF3yiuMbUyE
那人跩住皮帶的另一端,將項圈收緊,一邊說著「愛」,一邊將氧氣從他身上奪走。107Please respect copyright.PENANAvFkvZ7b7nQ
107Please respect copyright.PENANA5wuZMX73lY
來做個保險吧。那人朝他晃了晃錄音筆。107Please respect copyright.PENANAaz0T5y7hye
「說你愛我。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAujKdVHpFcN
107Please respect copyright.PENANA6bxIXDiBkh
「我……愛您……」107Please respect copyright.PENANAuuhZge69jd
107Please respect copyright.PENANA8TAqGq1Crd
沒事的,沒事的……107Please respect copyright.PENANAcBeKphHGWL
今天之後就能得到解脫了。107Please respect copyright.PENANAPeLCWYFuCY
107Please respect copyright.PENANAycxdJdhhJM
——從那些「愛」著我的人的手中。107Please respect copyright.PENANAttOazFaqdA
107Please respect copyright.PENANAlDLbBZcRX4
「在我去見你之前,你可別逃走喔。」107Please respect copyright.PENANArTurPhDbLt
沒事的,那個人到不了這裡,就像他無法離開這裡一樣。沒事的。107Please respect copyright.PENANA9c2h5JPqtZ
107Please respect copyright.PENANAxKDkOLfvWB
「沒事的,リンドウ……」107Please respect copyright.PENANAdM57Y3vGwk
107Please respect copyright.PENANAQ58DwXWYq8
熟悉卻又喚不起名字的聲音和自己的話語重疊。107Please respect copyright.PENANAr2grTHikwK
那是只屬於他的謊言,一旦由他人說出口,那些事似乎就會真的變得無關緊要起來。107Please respect copyright.PENANAoOcNTi3qxg
107Please respect copyright.PENANATHfqM1FZr4
「才不是……沒事……」107Please respect copyright.PENANAKz0psY4Bmx
喉嚨裡蓄積了無數個夜晚的鮮血,沒能填補胸口的空缺,只是黏稠的附在聲音上,在口中動彈不得。107Please respect copyright.PENANAptJtZA5cr9
107Please respect copyright.PENANAkUy6dGX3En
才不是沒事,別對我說這種話。107Please respect copyright.PENANABwQIyd9dEY
想大聲咳嗽,讓那些透明的血液從話語身上離開——107Please respect copyright.PENANAb60rcVEdTm
107Please respect copyright.PENANAQFNMhPNihT
救救我。107Please respect copyright.PENANAwZ80pefCcF
107Please respect copyright.PENANA3XYwaeFZqc
「這樣啊,リンドウ能說出來真是太好了。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAbRCl5gT2S2
107Please respect copyright.PENANAMIAkp2nOCe
再多說一點也沒關係。107Please respect copyright.PENANAc6zpFlzjuV
一隻手溫柔的撫摸著他的頭髮,會不會突然用力的拉扯髮絲,將更多他所害怕的事物擠入身體裡呢?107Please respect copyright.PENANApq9QAT5uA9
107Please respect copyright.PENANA7e2P3Hf1fH
「不想說也沒關係,如果リンドウ這麼期望的話,我就再多等一會吧。」107Please respect copyright.PENANAUDTezoErB8
107Please respect copyright.PENANAd0FMIPvzS7
天就快亮了,在那之前做個好夢吧。107Please respect copyright.PENANAFboTSAecUL
那隻手反覆的,輕輕地拍撫著肩,他細數著,擔心會不會在來到某個數字時將他重重打醒。107Please respect copyright.PENANADMXibgOaAj
107Please respect copyright.PENANAZZmuplIOEw
數著,107Please respect copyright.PENANAuaWGwzSO3F
數著,107Please respect copyright.PENANAyB2Wn8vJdH
數著,107Please respect copyright.PENANAg0nlXLKbFC
數著,107Please respect copyright.PENANA5yERE9Z1tn
數著……107Please respect copyright.PENANASykoveCoBT
107Please respect copyright.PENANAfpmchfZ1lV
連做過的夢都不記得,只是害怕,期待,顫抖,融化在足以將雲霧撥開的溫暖裡。107Please respect copyright.PENANA9OFr96NnZK