111Please respect copyright.PENANAFAPSHipWuN
我看見那碎了一地的玻璃珠。111Please respect copyright.PENANALhqF6rcPmB
那些碎片無聲的哭著,為了不被人發現而閃著光。我可以從那些碎片裡知道他曾經完整的時刻,想像他被人愛著的樣子,那想必非常美麗吧。111Please respect copyright.PENANAcI08g6Ll0K
111Please respect copyright.PENANAOsOi5KR0oe
美麗的,超脫人類的純粹,美好的不該出現在這個世界上。111Please respect copyright.PENANAGjsHQoxZU4
所以被人打碎了。111Please respect copyright.PENANAy54edrploc
111Please respect copyright.PENANA3PF5yhIi1S
但那人一定不知道,他即便被打碎,那份美麗也不會因此有所減損。111Please respect copyright.PENANAefyOXeqo8s
111Please respect copyright.PENANAoP2X0c8DvM
我可以看見他那些將人刺傷的眼淚,連同他那不願意刺傷人的溫柔,只要躺在他身邊入睡,為了不讓人受傷,他就會慢慢恢復原狀,混進一點瑪瑙色的塵埃,變得更加美麗,不被任何人取代。111Please respect copyright.PENANA5h8CFLes1s
111Please respect copyright.PENANAxk7UVEMHOn
旁人能為他做的事,打一開始就不存在吧。111Please respect copyright.PENANAXPvjCg6Inp
リンドウ需要的事物,必須由他交付給自己才行。111Please respect copyright.PENANAB9blp1g1Vm
111Please respect copyright.PENANAWQ7cV2Co0F
111Please respect copyright.PENANAplertWHla8
「你明天有甚麼安排嗎?」111Please respect copyright.PENANArHOoYv70Cv
111Please respect copyright.PENANA1V5efU5yT0
粗糙的線條在胸口遊走,他眨了眨眼睛,看著那些線條走過的地方。111Please respect copyright.PENANAW6pUwHmgLH
「早上有事務所的舞蹈練習,下午有錄音。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAxf7jppC6DY
111Please respect copyright.PENANAPQZWuXOQsc
「也就是說不用脫衣服對吧。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAQgTzODHaeU
「嗯,但是……啊——」111Please respect copyright.PENANARuhVekhTDp
111Please respect copyright.PENANAHruSTWsInL
但是練習後汗水流過傷口會很痛,跳舞的時候拉扯到傷口或許會流血也說不定。雖然想這麼回應,但他自己的疼痛和鮮血,跟「客人」的快樂是不能相提並論的。111Please respect copyright.PENANADc0NlDGK8v
比起做愛,那個「客人」更喜歡鞭子和蠟燭,長住的飯店裡有個房間是為他量身打造的,不管怎麼哭喊也不會被人發現,就算被發現了也不會有人理會。111Please respect copyright.PENANAwsRl0mtjHL
111Please respect copyright.PENANAIjF6zYu59d
「不過下午有錄音是吧?那得小心不要叫啞了。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAH1oEokJB3d
111Please respect copyright.PENANA3ykIkJu7Dy
他咬緊牙。111Please respect copyright.PENANAn6vKyKNLLN
尖銳的只有鞭子呼嘯而過的風聲,還有不經意洩出的,連自己都不願意承認的尖叫。111Please respect copyright.PENANAi7w4iJe3Wi
111Please respect copyright.PENANA0vkCf0iKSV
「這點程度不算甚麼吧?你應該已經習慣了。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAVEp0JcyxGE
「嗯……」他嚥下即將從喉中湧出的甜腥味。「我沒事的,請您繼續。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAs3MQ97l0eR
111Please respect copyright.PENANA6cnGVZsjU7
快點結束,快點讓這個夜晚落幕。111Please respect copyright.PENANATgVBaOSNJi
不想聽見的哭聲在內心深處迴響著。111Please respect copyright.PENANAQxtlsSMHhZ
111Please respect copyright.PENANARAYgi8vH12
這點程度不算甚麼,沒事的,沒事的。111Please respect copyright.PENANAZEdaTD6kia
摻著腥氣的自我安慰在耳邊呢喃著。111Please respect copyright.PENANA7o3RhYGxeI
111Please respect copyright.PENANAKSC3LjYWkg
即便那個「客人」的名字和長相早已埋沒在記憶之中,那些積累的疼痛依然不時出現在夢裡。111Please respect copyright.PENANAUVGwsSHlQF
除了自己的聲音之外,他沒有其他能依靠的話語。111Please respect copyright.PENANA7BsfvBpnbN
111Please respect copyright.PENANAmOBQ5Ilytu
謊言的水滴帶著溫熱的腥氣,從劃開的傷口處流入口中。他的飢渴無論如何都無法滿足,只是追著眼前的血液,試圖填滿心中的乾涸。111Please respect copyright.PENANAsa09p2IEcm
111Please respect copyright.PENANAgVwlKEsaCe
「工作很忙的話,不用特地過來醫院也沒關係的。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAeVYCPdpwlf
111Please respect copyright.PENANAXFBC9FGyTJ
晃眼的白佈滿視野,能清楚聽見的只有那溫柔的關懷,他眨了眨眼。111Please respect copyright.PENANA0e6iLTRVlW
「不,是我想見姐姐才來的。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAjMRAZm1iar
111Please respect copyright.PENANAy9hvZuAup8
「不要太勉強自己喔。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAWhFgTezyVO
「嗯,我知道。姐姐,我差不多該回事務所了。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAUNx8bp90NQ
111Please respect copyright.PENANAOWIURtECPa
想像以前那樣,跟姐姐說「好痛」,「好難過」,但說了也只是徒增煩惱而已,在變得想向人撒嬌之前,得快點離開才行。111Please respect copyright.PENANAinzk1YQ80H
111Please respect copyright.PENANACPvt08BDQN
「我很快就能出院了,總不能一直讓弟弟照顧,所以,如果你覺得累了的話……」111Please respect copyright.PENANA4xX2CMraDS
111Please respect copyright.PENANAka1nfQBxqK
讓生病的姐姐說出這種話……111Please respect copyright.PENANAuBWdrLxaeI
「姐姐,我很喜歡我現在的工作。不用擔心我,我沒事的。」111Please respect copyright.PENANACadALPG01I
111Please respect copyright.PENANA8YH1ws9Lv8
「這樣啊。」111Please respect copyright.PENANArzwgd2y9lI
111Please respect copyright.PENANAOOnHraxH1m
姐姐皺著眉朝他笑了笑,他大概也露出了同樣的表情吧。但是面對彼此,除了蒼白的「我沒事」以外,甚麼都說不出口。111Please respect copyright.PENANAyJZy9KaeYa
他撒謊從來沒能瞞過姐姐,姐姐的檢查報告也不可能繞過他,不管怎麼掙扎,面對的只有每況愈下的現實和彼此的謊言。111Please respect copyright.PENANASc2pPj8u5t
111Please respect copyright.PENANAIrWZ5gl428
他眨了眨眼,把即將奪眶而出的淚水堵回。111Please respect copyright.PENANAl6WiaK4mXJ
111Please respect copyright.PENANAnYCBVpitGe
111Please respect copyright.PENANARYnIThbued
「你現在叫リンドウ啊?」眼前這人的名字他已經忘了,但這副帶著玩味的表情他還記憶猶新。111Please respect copyright.PENANAumJWdEKjRR
111Please respect copyright.PENANAdnChYfzQir
「跟你沒有關係。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAFPyfB0wKN5
111Please respect copyright.PENANAA54lGOyKuU
「真冷淡啊,當初我們那麼要好不是嗎……」對方的手指做作的搔刮他的下巴,但這只是虛張聲勢。111Please respect copyright.PENANAXvJlhl3gbz
111Please respect copyright.PENANARRvWBs7z0z
不管是リンドウ還是對方,都不過是收藏櫃裡漂亮的展示品而已。111Please respect copyright.PENANA37FCf2JRnq
就像リンドウ的謊一樣,對方也有保護自己尊嚴的手段。111Please respect copyright.PENANAaL1d4Tdu5z
111Please respect copyright.PENANAaSlE351tSw
リンドウ閉上眼,腦海裡浮出的是雙帶著憧憬的眼神。111Please respect copyright.PENANAsq4czaCoh3
——我一直很崇拜你,因為喜歡你才決定當偶像的。111Please respect copyright.PENANA0PJeFxSCEo
111Please respect copyright.PENANAHuEAa6CX1W
「你放下工作到這裡來,只是為了說這種話嗎?」111Please respect copyright.PENANAi4gT7IGsgk
リンドウ睜開眼睛,那雙憧憬早在時光中支離破碎,只剩下脆弱的自尊裹著空洞的內裡。111Please respect copyright.PENANAvOuX5ivhOQ
111Please respect copyright.PENANAzDlm6Skpnm
「不,我是來給你送信的。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAs1X7nEiJNa
對方指間夾著一封信,封口上的筆跡眼熟到讓人作嘔的程度。111Please respect copyright.PENANAgRd18W0Lno
111Please respect copyright.PENANAQMAIh9p9Qe
「我不會收那個人的信的。」111Please respect copyright.PENANANWsLx5btKe
「你會收的,因為不是別人,而是我來送信的。」111Please respect copyright.PENANANiu0faIQrO
111Please respect copyright.PENANAt2XtO7N19l
——偶像是這種……像妓女一樣的工作嗎?我一直以來崇拜著的,原來是這樣骯髒的人嗎?111Please respect copyright.PENANAQAlfpbf64O
自作主張的把別人當作夢想,將一切歸罪於他人。111Please respect copyright.PENANAn8ia39HRDL
111Please respect copyright.PENANA4KjQmY6Gue
——說點什麼啊,為什麼不否認?111Please respect copyright.PENANAdwVW40wtXF
擅自覺得對方會因此而有罪惡感。111Please respect copyright.PENANAcpFMAX1QPl
111Please respect copyright.PENANAzUT3vBZSx1
リンドウ冷冷地看著那封信,以及那微微顫抖的手指。111Please respect copyright.PENANATDKWS7Runh
並不是因為覺得對他有所虧欠,只是出於廉價的,對過去的自己的同情而已,リンドウ伸手接下那封信。111Please respect copyright.PENANAVVPhkJuncv
111Please respect copyright.PENANACgV6zISZ2F
「我收下信了。這樣就行了吧?」他將信對折幾次,將封口上的筆跡和混亂藏起,朝對方笑了笑。111Please respect copyright.PENANAmorbpUza9W
111Please respect copyright.PENANAZHT8XZrAuE
リンドウ的笑似乎刺傷他了,對方遊刃有餘的表情出現裂口。111Please respect copyright.PENANAzzoP4uwbMd
「……如果你也過得悲慘的話就好了。」他的手按在牆上,將リンドウ蓋在他的陰影之下。「只有你像沒事一樣站在地獄外頭微笑什麼的,太礙眼了。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAjXB1MwC6aF
111Please respect copyright.PENANAT9xgxMEe33
「所以你才告訴那個人我的行蹤嗎?」111Please respect copyright.PENANArd2VP0aFpe
111Please respect copyright.PENANAggIRHQZc7N
「只是偶然在網路上看到而已,關於你的事情總是消失的太快了,像是被誰特意藏起來一樣。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAth6tqfciyu
111Please respect copyright.PENANA4N9N0GuR4H
像是被誰特意藏起來一樣……111Please respect copyright.PENANAcbOJAXGO4z
リンドウ闔上眼睛,背靠著牆不做回答。111Please respect copyright.PENANAjfrwBUKLFZ
111Please respect copyright.PENANAWDXoADvmpv
「我曾經很喜歡你的,那個人也是。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAx1sXeuWumR
睜開眼睛,對方已經離開了,或許是他開口趕走的,又或是對方自行離開的,他不記得自己是怎麼度過這段時間的。111Please respect copyright.PENANAxVmp9J2JOk
111Please respect copyright.PENANATrqhJM5HnH
不管是向雜誌爆料他的私事的人,還是一次次設計把他帶到飯店房間裡的人,那些情感收束起來都寫著扭曲的「喜歡」的字眼。111Please respect copyright.PENANAr0tF7GoYS6
「喜歡」也好,「愛」也好,雖然知道那些詞背後蘊含了美好的事物,但那都只存在於他以外的世界裡。111Please respect copyright.PENANA1PF9fwzP1e
111Please respect copyright.PENANALVE13DRtC9
因為「喜歡」,所以想知道,因為「喜歡」,所以想破壞掉。111Please respect copyright.PENANAFy3wHYmntg
「喜歡」到底是甚麼呢?美麗的解釋和刺痛的記憶一同浮出,他剛相信哪邊才好?111Please respect copyright.PENANAv4N7bLxqAC
111Please respect copyright.PENANAMdCIr3EhmZ
「喂,リンドウ,你在這裡幹什麼。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAnB1kKN6Gjh
——把腳張開……111Please respect copyright.PENANAnVK50Xxa7I
111Please respect copyright.PENANAsww89SqMNM
身體不自覺地想閃避聲音的源頭,未經允許的回想起早已遠去的疼痛。111Please respect copyright.PENANAphMtiTwuRS
111Please respect copyright.PENANA13fKxrv9oe
冷靜下來,沒事的。111Please respect copyright.PENANA16WT5H4bIX
リンドウ看著有些驚訝的黒曜,深吸口氣強迫自己放鬆下來。111Please respect copyright.PENANAAhYuhBqsXA
111Please respect copyright.PENANA7ha8tnxWAA
沒事的,沒事的,我有好好藏起來,只是出了一點小意外而已。111Please respect copyright.PENANAkBB2VwtnAJ
藏在手裡的信被捏成小團,恐慌壓縮成小塊,他眨了眨眼,熟練的收拾好表情。
連自己都保護不了甚麼的,已經是很久以前的事情了。111Please respect copyright.PENANAESh1ixk8NT
111Please respect copyright.PENANAfuJ8oY9vvv
111Please respect copyright.PENANAeevKfX9Kf6
「如果因為你的事情,而被牽連出其他見不得人的嗜好的話會很麻煩的。」那人將幾張照片扔進碎紙機裡。「所以從明天開始你就會從這個業界裡消失。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAbKSnDlyA0d
111Please respect copyright.PENANAfdKbHH5cXQ
這個客人是個收藏家,正當著リンドウ的面將他那些收藏品銷毀。111Please respect copyright.PENANAWas4PVneAe
111Please respect copyright.PENANAKvJPggSLtD
「不過,說到消失也有很多種方法,有希望麻煩的源頭離得越遠越好的人,也有準備了項圈和地下室在等著飼養你的人。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAkjJnLIsl3K
111Please respect copyright.PENANAcwQo9eSfOB
リンドウ坐在床上,用手碰了碰圈著脖子的皮革製品,莫名覺得好笑。111Please respect copyright.PENANAeVfG2RAiTA
111Please respect copyright.PENANA89TZCc5KHX
「您也打算飼養我嗎?」111Please respect copyright.PENANAnjMbDeZfxx
「怎麼會呢?你是個聰明的孩子,知道我們不會在這時候丟著你不管。」111Please respect copyright.PENANALOPFNtESU5
111Please respect copyright.PENANAt7eYQyR5XC
潛入最深的夜裡,沾上夜晚的吻痕,當有一天他被人曝曬在陽光下時,那些親吻過他的人也將無所遁形。111Please respect copyright.PENANAkoDmIBIWSW
這是他所能做的唯一的算計。111Please respect copyright.PENANAvjWrVL5uN4
111Please respect copyright.PENANAxoi8vcgZGp
「你姐姐已經被轉到我熟人的醫院了,我也準備了不會過問你過去的場所,只要你安安靜靜的待在那裡不出來就行了。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAjxilXwaVe1
111Please respect copyright.PENANAgrUnHPWoN4
「這不就是飼養嗎?」111Please respect copyright.PENANAZH86uKgoxg
「但籠子比較大不是嗎?而且也沒有項圈。雖然你經紀人那裡不歸我管,但我有辦法讓他找不到你,這樣你就該滿足了吧?」111Please respect copyright.PENANANnRFzamFsP
111Please respect copyright.PENANAn5sN6oAZzU
滿足?111Please respect copyright.PENANAwVvlTsaQa7
111Please respect copyright.PENANAHboxH3blzS
在他消失之後,那個人也只是受到些輕微的懲罰,在給人送上新的年輕祭品之後,又會回到原來的樣子吧?111Please respect copyright.PENANAGAWoBethIO
他只是狼狽的逃走,將更艱難的路留給下一個替代他位子的人而已。111Please respect copyright.PENANAVBXsQzGLiM
111Please respect copyright.PENANAMXA14sDi0v
滿足?111Please respect copyright.PENANAmurLIR0dT7
111Please respect copyright.PENANABQA1PUcChm
「你會乖乖聽話的對吧?在關於你的收藏品都銷毀掉的現在,連你本人都得銷毀掉的話,我會很心痛的。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAmRmWcDrNxp
那人跩住皮帶的另一端,將項圈收緊,一邊說著「愛」,一邊將氧氣從他身上奪走。111Please respect copyright.PENANAdXzcTLZegu
111Please respect copyright.PENANAOhXCwxd2s1
來做個保險吧。那人朝他晃了晃錄音筆。111Please respect copyright.PENANA7xxWO2RNEc
「說你愛我。」111Please respect copyright.PENANA5F7nAb2QJH
111Please respect copyright.PENANAkjJj7MF0ld
「我……愛您……」111Please respect copyright.PENANA3Qd83CX0Eg
111Please respect copyright.PENANAEaShPsMqWJ
沒事的,沒事的……111Please respect copyright.PENANAxRQw93X2P9
今天之後就能得到解脫了。111Please respect copyright.PENANAHGQPsl5mvw
111Please respect copyright.PENANAr0nDUFoDtL
——從那些「愛」著我的人的手中。111Please respect copyright.PENANAcazijsSwIB
111Please respect copyright.PENANAg2KDN5V2dd
「在我去見你之前,你可別逃走喔。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAahX5ZFBJxx
沒事的,那個人到不了這裡,就像他無法離開這裡一樣。沒事的。111Please respect copyright.PENANAfUKlUUNVi2
111Please respect copyright.PENANAtKavUef10k
「沒事的,リンドウ……」111Please respect copyright.PENANA2wLZfui74a
111Please respect copyright.PENANA69OpE0e4Qv
熟悉卻又喚不起名字的聲音和自己的話語重疊。111Please respect copyright.PENANABXBf3901i1
那是只屬於他的謊言,一旦由他人說出口,那些事似乎就會真的變得無關緊要起來。111Please respect copyright.PENANAP2tpfF34iv
111Please respect copyright.PENANA0uPhPdZ98C
「才不是……沒事……」111Please respect copyright.PENANAv2AYSA5gYq
喉嚨裡蓄積了無數個夜晚的鮮血,沒能填補胸口的空缺,只是黏稠的附在聲音上,在口中動彈不得。111Please respect copyright.PENANAErp8oWBYCG
111Please respect copyright.PENANAdS38cc2umR
才不是沒事,別對我說這種話。111Please respect copyright.PENANACXj0eLdpKX
想大聲咳嗽,讓那些透明的血液從話語身上離開——111Please respect copyright.PENANA6NCnHuGk1E
111Please respect copyright.PENANA8AbuE5rIkb
救救我。111Please respect copyright.PENANANyzH7BTtym
111Please respect copyright.PENANAqLaGeBs3Ak
「這樣啊,リンドウ能說出來真是太好了。」111Please respect copyright.PENANApLZxQuNvlz
111Please respect copyright.PENANA1gwJWPpOYR
再多說一點也沒關係。111Please respect copyright.PENANAgvNouGHU4e
一隻手溫柔的撫摸著他的頭髮,會不會突然用力的拉扯髮絲,將更多他所害怕的事物擠入身體裡呢?111Please respect copyright.PENANAraYAZAZP0I
111Please respect copyright.PENANAQX0zaiQmol
「不想說也沒關係,如果リンドウ這麼期望的話,我就再多等一會吧。」111Please respect copyright.PENANAcDi3r3kMPh
111Please respect copyright.PENANA2sVaiwnXMy
天就快亮了,在那之前做個好夢吧。111Please respect copyright.PENANAMJRKtfzIHG
那隻手反覆的,輕輕地拍撫著肩,他細數著,擔心會不會在來到某個數字時將他重重打醒。111Please respect copyright.PENANA38lC94kQ6k
111Please respect copyright.PENANAuiwxRz2Nqg
數著,111Please respect copyright.PENANAO5esuWcIOt
數著,111Please respect copyright.PENANAWQBPD3gE03
數著,111Please respect copyright.PENANABlcLSVehZb
數著,111Please respect copyright.PENANArrT6SUy4Fv
數著……111Please respect copyright.PENANAa6Lk56w6l1
111Please respect copyright.PENANAXygNBsFMTH
連做過的夢都不記得,只是害怕,期待,顫抖,融化在足以將雲霧撥開的溫暖裡。111Please respect copyright.PENANAwfbqtZggv5