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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgq0hY2S21
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYgsJEqBMl
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還沒有學會「接受」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUvy1iZhcu
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接受現實411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlppj50RuVg
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因為認為是屈服411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEAUPrP0k7
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感覺好像自己在投降411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbL8Mqgw9q8
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放棄一切411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8HQtPRvyG
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ424FzK7KTb
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRAIvuPJvN
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認為是這樣子的狂妄411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T2SlGjgNo
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無他411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1EYzusJBe
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說是愚痴也不過份411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3bGK1FDq9
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只是她不相信411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXUCE6ykXo
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懷疑411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeXjDFqeRG
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她⋯⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnxecgvOHj
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「⋯⋯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1g0yExoyDw
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbDXSmohRZ
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單單是想像也有夠不安411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDwjLbUTxY
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYGspMkpgS
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOt6dagnJ3
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唯一句411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hBnCrHzLM
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當局者迷，旁觀者清411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8cutcY4en
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bsKl3S92M
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fmrP7RRC5
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCECNUzhSd
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且不死，無法殺死411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkTVcwCfjE
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人家已經很盡力了411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8P9wV20vu
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDwWKAzBhs
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憤怒411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuS7VBv8ag6
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yadMs1R54
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因為我沒有用411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgZvksdRid
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlGrccDLUb
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjQbVEOrBy
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Yj7zGx11i
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXA7ISksNF
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPcmlXBBLN
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFcyT94V7z
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk66EoiYMyM
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WwLy85k85
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfRmp7DCCs
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRs4rs7NJuL
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriigbmWweu
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypXGhKeDle
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已經失眠了多久？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZcu5rrsHc
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5D2ntD3AWb
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQk1vqN9HDn
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qlOApTpSe
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSEqmqeihg
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjGvd7DJB7
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58fJhGe5YY
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ154HgtGZUh
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9xXkCblGA
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9o0gNOaUid
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCeCwZW6hs
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapFZFqpOOF
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——呀？
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嗯？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPS9mhebme
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLVYKX866L
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcs9w2YAfB
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nIDuPM7oh
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ovGNTwn1T
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZB01e0l6aW
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiF84rYBB8
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG2jHKfYx1
我也想活下去
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGQHVNwNGX
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0T66LrcaH
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvui4Xji98
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfaKwhA5xI
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfIKgVJVFF
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOlFobZRHh
或是說，我不希望⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXjbNOLjjF
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOW1piH0Fq
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW4qPqj2zm
⋯⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZWSXmduDb
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw3RCiYsBQ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgzj0TsnRZ
對不起411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rCMfO9sF8
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmO6HJkRuUR
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNFDDZDHXY
我也希望自己⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNidsKS7mC
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigBaslyrl4
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7grrGsrJZ
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cgy3reiiV
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUrmcoJmAp
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq07YDmOTdU
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bAHNDaOxN
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcE25FYb2xu
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4W1bT5jMlx
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kqiTcq3Dj
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqVDyYZscl
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU8jwP3LAe
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUelag4AtwT
「⋯⋯嗯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4tDIKKZ7I
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYKOLkE4kr
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5vXr33oqg
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KK462HcZE
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhTUBuBs4D
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9eN11eX4b
「⋯⋯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhY050Bi0Z
「真的」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqtDtznSMP
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfy45s61ZcJ
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjscAjDinc
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVsb3yPZLW
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocZgxOBuah
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIwFVDzFwu
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lnaC3cxyy
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFwXEEb0R1
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhcdDy4dCy
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVAKNZTYFd
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2BIrCnhX0
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ856Cq5bvVK
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbOwQpqs37
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMSIEXRVkq
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR1rR9Oddb
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYWR52Ea5e
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNEjwaZYxQ
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50ZzxbNVgx
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqwlHSsGnz
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBOAB3gesw
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjBWJIgo45
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGTYlLTqaj
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GytDy5d5Y
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdl7yEshwB
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOlkDLuzeu
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2idbGZ1O9r
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWno6WVh0C
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVL4XOVaIqw
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO54OsR83hG
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwbN4lfggz
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGlsCAAxgL
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN1qLJ4tfC
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdgMlcSNJP
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLwOWbo8Oj
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqy24So8qOi
最後一記，最強烈
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXl2auKdWSS
「⋯哈啊⋯」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAS6OF3XEja
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNfNekGKT0
鬆口，直至其手到胸口411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnNmBUJ6vx
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9Ky0KA7rl
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tqWknXzTe
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4TsJDYIVn
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfJUNIuuEf
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomz23ezNaN
「⋯啊？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcYdyeELxt
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPakjqgmNR
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WBYLEFwrh
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfK7YpNFHW
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
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「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmImHqsgVz
「等、等等」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1tBFLoKkD
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnGF9kn0cC
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHgLLT3YCh
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWibP45IfkB
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCFfvWEnR7
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGsG0x7R9P
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57VzbGjcXr
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcV65SlZ3R
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7tGSNV7HI
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e0nseGAC2
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kFdGhtQet
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvTAhGOYXF
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKq2Yg1xb8
好痛
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUtFX4G9lb
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Fp4uLdCdH
但會有人在意嗎？
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kgNeLKQgx
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkdLnmlWID
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqcrb3pMSw
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfzX4RNYQl
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpltEt0gVKL
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8EXVhvtco
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6bBQL3Kfw
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDYg7ZfwYR
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58S13AxZMA
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsToaW11SM
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksy7bIiBVH
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgt6oGZ5FUj
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICpAn7Z9qC
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSr6xhqkkj
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2Ixv56mnW
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hGpI5WNs4
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXbWpiJEsZ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDwLGKptbw
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB8KLsAcqL
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFjnpRBdET
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8gixUzOZl
比較下，條件不由自己定
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37XievWsAC
我沒有選擇權411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVD5KcO3dR
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNtl5bj3l1
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDhZVylnin
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOKqd4SYkQ
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiASHY48xPJ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVWyc33WbH
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFHrayW6FS
明白嗎？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxbb0OeRDJ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHDHqWljhq
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNhymjujOY
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wV5gR6Rds
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ990ZbdZQP7
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaIA1HOTbv
若世界更溫柔的話——
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QTXdLmDj3
不可能411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRhXt6kmbm
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmEKwCIkts
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKy7RZ7tYA
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bgoTXkbWB
什麼也沒有411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWp2MUuPs12
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IfgHAEzy8
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCApOlQmmRe
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvf2ZAovlW
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41781PVmBa
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG0QRgkkQD
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqqZwkBOgJ
當然411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMlzDKy8Yv
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhZAE8wbom
絕對
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhIUcarVp8
不想411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXCZ4YRoIe
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsxbQ8mPMT
但始終，真的太辛苦了411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA1DJidN3D
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1UZvH3GBc
⋯⋯411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQoFcJaj8y
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4m3rjMIndu
思考真的太辛苦了411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuAbtldpLO
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWyOC4ZKGk
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aZ8IvxVbR
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIm41ylQc4W
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uKqvM6kQK
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUewjpmKusO
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuQZpdVGIb
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQnVSbwN5e
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoO59Idq31
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn1wONBgLH
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRcz9u4Mo6
「⋯⋯對不起」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbdyRtTssA
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsTyKmfCpP
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4RAuERc2O
「嗯⋯」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jrVYwdXTK
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVpivxjBoP
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TBjwXe2P7
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B8AP0vRWk
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhuqElOdCp
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLfO2VWBrE
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsqWmmLtpf
「忠誠致赤雨之日」411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBCdfHFd6d
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopYlMOaPtI
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bOZFgwD1R
女孩說道
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYZNNS4VZU
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEGykynz6H
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEhZh6P6pp
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo3JPisFxK
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgobvyteqJ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQZBYMmA5G
是女孩的指示411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZUH2Z5b8R
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdezuy2oi0I
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK77UsTPBV4
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIt77Kp0Sdw
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmH3okoY5N
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGxItb5CZj
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTL5pvltmG
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg75zVtroi
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbWRGxj3UZ
直至最後能看見的——411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHE9YHvCUG8
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Mqi7gHcf8
也不存在
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtvKOj3OYi
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3eJAHtAxX
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiHttQydUi
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbqbacAI7E
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjHmsbF80B
但無法辨認411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1jphJ4yUA
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W9EsinFhG
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeioQz8zZtX
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOpOczyXcM
黑暗將自己包圍411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VygTgT787
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaeUote1JN
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFyBAYZHwu
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQCvAhbbuB
不知多久了411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGbKU4UI7j
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9A9ol1L3sm
在那時開始411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6ANCb6aIj
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNurcN3LxT8
那裏411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQlTsFcZ9F
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYedded3Bd
但有些事情〇〇
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEkBapWAbE
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH0NlvYnC3
〇〇〇411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXhDXcWzhh
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSgIz9NWSz
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpak6jEIW0
〇〇〇〇〇〇411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoGNZvIfiY
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiInshRTZX
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmDNZrO7Vl
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6Rwgo2XjJ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NgAf9JPmO
現在不是你的回合411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJZy1q6WLU
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY8aBa5z2f
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5wJviVVxb
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