由相遇那天計起已約11年半,但我從沒有忘記過牠,如果那一天沒有跟牠相遇,也沒有今天的我。519Please respect copyright.PENANARAPELBhmpR
519Please respect copyright.PENANA3LJBAlbq45
回想那天,仍在唸書的我在寵物店看見牠,牠是我最喜歡的喜樂蒂牧羊犬。在我的人生計劃表中,其中一個目標是有生之年一定要養一次狗,因此飼養的知識一直都有看。在取得母親同意之下,我便把牠買下來。519Please respect copyright.PENANArH5jd5onmq
519Please respect copyright.PENANA6fmOehJZKx
牠是個三個月大的女孩子,尚算可以一手抱起,以這狗種來說是微胖的體型。519Please respect copyright.PENANAflYuS0Mcmf
519Please respect copyright.PENANAA4KvFqSpnz
起初牠只會待在自己的小窩中,不太會周圍探索,也不會吠叫;然而這乖孩子形象只維持了三天,意識到這裡並沒有危險後,開始活潑好動起來。519Please respect copyright.PENANAOhsgK62fX3
519Please respect copyright.PENANAOzlp3AKBoc
如是這般,這調皮的孩子便慢慢融入家中,體型也日漸由微胖變成重量級的肥胖。519Please respect copyright.PENANA2AQUrEv04F
519Please respect copyright.PENANA85iur5siRP
由於家裡也沒有私家車,這些年間我也只是帶牠到家樓下散步,而這些地方就已經是牠的世界。519Please respect copyright.PENANA3cGZENX0zu
519Please respect copyright.PENANAmxYXqYz8R0
如同牠的世界只有我一般,在我人生經歷挫折、仕途不順、與家人關係惡劣之際,牠也是我堅持活下去的唯一動力。519Please respect copyright.PENANAjsqtJ5Y6Nt
519Please respect copyright.PENANACJof4zFENM
當時剛畢業的我只有微薄的薪水,為了盡可能彌補牠,我在牠飲食上花費毫不吝嗇、玩具經常換、假日陪牠玩直至牠累了不想動......雖然這養成了牠挑三揀四的小姐脾氣。519Please respect copyright.PENANA1qNkBa8ttF
519Please respect copyright.PENANAcuffcVvudx
既然我把牠的命買下,就有責任去照顧牠。519Please respect copyright.PENANAR43tTh2XR8
519Please respect copyright.PENANA7az9xCvunE
這是我應該做的,也是我必須做的。519Please respect copyright.PENANAknrClp5MKD
519Please respect copyright.PENANAUoiJzyWEeL
519Please respect copyright.PENANA6zFYldd4Vf
時光飛逝,轉眼間牠已經六歲半有多。519Please respect copyright.PENANA0Z5aYz2PcC
519Please respect copyright.PENANAgAJPAEfmMV
某天牠的左眼瞼翻了一點點出來,因為牠也曾經有過這問題,當時給牠點了眼藥水就治好,因此以為這次也只是小毛病。519Please respect copyright.PENANAT8KjY3zjRr
519Please respect copyright.PENANAgyAOC4k1Ov
可幫牠點了一個星期眼藥水也絲毫沒好轉,由於體型龐大的牠已不能偷偷乘搭交通工具,我便預約獸醫登門給牠檢查。519Please respect copyright.PENANA2St5YNiCyf
519Please respect copyright.PENANABQ2OEcKWlk
「牠可能眼睛受到感染了。」519Please respect copyright.PENANAFCQeS2pGl1
519Please respect copyright.PENANAxYB0etHX0P
獸醫在檢查後得出這結論,並處方了眼藥水和抗生素。519Please respect copyright.PENANAXBoh5chpaT
519Please respect copyright.PENANAIWKQiozTyd
然而這些藥吃了幾天也不見任何作用,左邊鼻孔還開始流出淡黃色的鼻涕,因此我再次預約同一位獸醫登門診察。519Please respect copyright.PENANAdUsinZqv2d
519Please respect copyright.PENANATTyrLQLwFF
「應該是感冒了。」519Please respect copyright.PENANA5ciwExx5gQ
519Please respect copyright.PENANA3009hLUBTe
這次除了抗生素,亦處方了消炎藥。519Please respect copyright.PENANA35GPAZzGtH
519Please respect copyright.PENANAAX0NOj52KX
同樣地吃了幾天藥也沒有好轉,鼻涕偶爾還會滲雜著血絲,左邊臉上亦多了一粒杏仁大小的硬塊。519Please respect copyright.PENANARCXpc9hnbQ
519Please respect copyright.PENANAW0Buninzsu
意識到登門的那位獸醫並不能治好牠,我便決定帶牠出門去診所應診。幸好當年已有叫車服務,就算沒有私家車,也能帶著寵物出門遠行。519Please respect copyright.PENANAcsrK1I4h7k
519Please respect copyright.PENANALhYlpzyOGw
「可能是蛀牙引起牙齦發炎潰爛,口鼻相通之下令鼻涕有血絲,臉上的顆粒是膿包,要治好就要把牠的大牙拔掉。」519Please respect copyright.PENANAcxFBv0Ozjj
519Please respect copyright.PENANA9pn7BDhFMR
雖然獸醫這麼說,但牠的牙齒分明健康又結實,加上牠也天天啃潔齒棒,實在難以想像牙齒有問題。519Please respect copyright.PENANAkJquJhNIVG
519Please respect copyright.PENANA7c4QOtWx20
鑑於想聽多一個獸醫的意見,我便預約了同一間診所另一位評價比較好的獸醫。519Please respect copyright.PENANAUiNZYSJpPQ
519Please respect copyright.PENANAPuJPexiOy0
這位獸醫摸了摸那硬塊,眉頭一皺,往牠臉上噴了點麻醉劑,便拿針筒刺上去想抽點什麼,但什麼都沒能抽出來。519Please respect copyright.PENANAfCWWZRdKib
519Please respect copyright.PENANAY38HpFlL9S
「如果是膿液的話,這顆粒會是軟的,而且也能用針筒抽出膿液,這肯定不是什麼好東西,但這家診所並沒有足夠的儀器,要轉介你去專科診所。」519Please respect copyright.PENANASs4itgatiz
519Please respect copyright.PENANA5vXPIhUJR9
雖然有向他投訴診所另一位獸醫的誤診,但他不以為意,實在令人泄氣。可幸護士們都很親切,馬上聯繫了專科診所,被視為急診的情況下,翌日就可以去應診。519Please respect copyright.PENANAxAF2Zgx6N8
519Please respect copyright.PENANAYMyCLu3MJT
專科診所幫牠把臉上硬塊的部分組織切下送往外國化驗,此時它已由杏仁長至雞蛋的大小。一個星期後,等不及診所聯絡,我已主動打電話查詢,心想能切除的話就早一天切除。519Please respect copyright.PENANAHt8I5JpUPJ
519Please respect copyright.PENANAcPh6g9wvEx
「牠患的是骨癌,而且長在臉上不能切除,沒有治好的可能。」519Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZosChmKfG
519Please respect copyright.PENANADJdMlcPPPu
這宣告實在太突然也太震驚,即使當時人在公司,也忍不住哭出來。519Please respect copyright.PENANApC5S3fNXY5
519Please respect copyright.PENANAczLQw5zZYJ
之後我搜尋了很多可以幫狗延緩癌症的資訊,也嘗試過偏方(早晚餵食加了亞麻籽與冷壓麻籽油的茅屋芝士),但這偏方實在過於難吃,以致牠每次也會吐出來。519Please respect copyright.PENANAOcoSov9vZf
519Please respect copyright.PENANAOWUOIJeQ52
如果知道生命餘下的時間不多,我也不想只吃難吃的食物受苦,牠豈不是也如此嗎?519Please respect copyright.PENANAYdRcssS8Ta
519Please respect copyright.PENANAhUv2IZqylV
因此我停止了這偏方,轉而餵食新鮮食材。519Please respect copyright.PENANA7SnjrXszuz
519Please respect copyright.PENANAAfTBSYmhd4
由於牠左邊的口腔已被腫瘤侵蝕潰爛,幾乎咀嚼不到食物,所以我每晚下班回家都會用攪拌器把煮好的新鮮食材攪成糊再餵給牠。519Please respect copyright.PENANAQqmLR2fyPi
519Please respect copyright.PENANAPeCCT2UG7b
在這最後的一個月,每逢假日我便會帶牠出遠門玩,雖然深閨的牠顯得有點害怕陌生環境,但習慣了之後還是看得出牠是很高興的。519Please respect copyright.PENANAVBKokalqYJ
519Please respect copyright.PENANA4jlDCACGNg
我真的好後悔沒有更早帶牠出遠門。519Please respect copyright.PENANAi4hPCJi5qq
519Please respect copyright.PENANAgkZumxlsUs
叫車服務其實早知道有,只是我一直把這計劃推遲,怎料牠原來已沒有多少時間能見識這個世界。519Please respect copyright.PENANAW4bpHdxGeG
519Please respect copyright.PENANAG0Jymyop9K
發病起僅僅兩個月,腫瘤已如網球般大。或許侵蝕到腦部,有時牠會抽搐,左眼也被擠壓到變形,口腔的潰瘍也導致牠每天流很多血,輕易把一條浴巾染得血跡斑斑。519Please respect copyright.PENANAtiqkJtYVRZ
519Please respect copyright.PENANA0MBf9RYWc8
我知道牠很痛,同時也知道牠想活下去,動物從來都不會輕易放棄生存。519Please respect copyright.PENANAheSHZ7gyy6
519Please respect copyright.PENANAu9JY6WtCAr
可這樣下去牠會死得很辛苦,掙扎了好久,我還是預約另一位獸醫登門,給牠安樂死。519Please respect copyright.PENANAjpOCs9q2ZC
519Please respect copyright.PENANA9zAiPn5XZD
那天是除夕,亦是牠7歲的生日。519Please respect copyright.PENANAywo5dwwYdy
519Please respect copyright.PENANAn9dPn1Lzrt
一整天我都陪著牠,但顯然牠並不知曉接下來會發生的事。519Please respect copyright.PENANAi6bRYc1va0
519Please respect copyright.PENANADn3TX7bYah
晚上8時,獸醫及他的助手到達,傻傻的牠還以為他們是客人,上前去討摸。519Please respect copyright.PENANAPFwSQeZ7IG
519Please respect copyright.PENANAEguNjXK6ft
評估過牠的現況及看過化驗報告後,獸醫同意給牠安樂死,也指出牠的腫瘤已經非常大,即使處方高劑量類固醇也活不了多久。519Please respect copyright.PENANA9Hp2TAvVI1
519Please respect copyright.PENANATzN0Y0uOVG
無論做了多少心理準備、腦海模擬過多少遍,分別一旦來臨,眼淚還是決堤而出。519Please respect copyright.PENANADh2nPypjNi
519Please respect copyright.PENANAaeZhU88M2g
這是最後一次機會去做選擇,而我,最終亦選擇替牠安樂死。519Please respect copyright.PENANAb0r0a5Wr8d
519Please respect copyright.PENANAiQPXWw2jep
獸醫先給牠注射了鎮靜劑,稍等幾分鐘至藥力生效,再給牠注射致死量的麻醉藥。519Please respect copyright.PENANAAD7ZFSB1xe
519Please respect copyright.PENANA0D09FbuZBf
牠就這樣緩緩地趴下,仿似只是睡著,隨時會醒來的樣子。519Please respect copyright.PENANAkLNFr5nnPj
519Please respect copyright.PENANA7SXXLZ1TO1
經獸醫檢查,確認牠的心臟已經停止跳動。519Please respect copyright.PENANAf2Tq0Pn4c0
519Please respect copyright.PENANAa6HA81Vrbn
在牠7歲的這天,亦是我們離別之日;是我親自給予死亡,讓牠提前去了當狗天使。519Please respect copyright.PENANAwx8BmWxxS0
519Please respect copyright.PENANA4RCkVmvJ80
直到現在我還會禁不住想,要是我當日快點找到合適的獸醫,是否就能趁腫瘤還細的時候切除?519Please respect copyright.PENANA3oOFa6p4ep
519Please respect copyright.PENANAuEOpsP8nRH
要是我能早點帶牠出遠門,牠的生命是否就能變得更完滿?519Please respect copyright.PENANAwQKljnoS2f
519Please respect copyright.PENANA4twsWbxPAc
事到如今,我對牠就只有無盡的愧疚和思念。519Please respect copyright.PENANArgnqrshn7C
519Please respect copyright.PENANA95GSlozY26
時間的無情。
責任的承擔。
生命的價值。
生死的別離。519Please respect copyright.PENANALklIHYstls
519Please respect copyright.PENANAZuZLohEPQt
這些都是牠以性命教曉我的。519Please respect copyright.PENANAWSPurhHX1y
519Please respect copyright.PENANApO7vTMHVx8
即使牠已離去了差不多四年,我仍無法忘記與牠生活的日子。519Please respect copyright.PENANABI89poFVML
519Please respect copyright.PENANAfOGpytIArN
牠帶給我煩惱,也帶給我歡樂。519Please respect copyright.PENANAFdCExge6Z9
519Please respect copyright.PENANAxGDPvvFVbz
能跟牠相遇,是我此生最大的奇蹟。
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