由相遇那天計起已約11年半,但我從沒有忘記過牠,如果那一天沒有跟牠相遇,也沒有今天的我。523Please respect copyright.PENANAjgmhH8i89b
523Please respect copyright.PENANAk7xfMVIemu
回想那天,仍在唸書的我在寵物店看見牠,牠是我最喜歡的喜樂蒂牧羊犬。在我的人生計劃表中,其中一個目標是有生之年一定要養一次狗,因此飼養的知識一直都有看。在取得母親同意之下,我便把牠買下來。523Please respect copyright.PENANAQu9YLrxwVI
523Please respect copyright.PENANAPBWCaepqP2
牠是個三個月大的女孩子,尚算可以一手抱起,以這狗種來說是微胖的體型。523Please respect copyright.PENANAxOaLb3PGgC
523Please respect copyright.PENANAgHsvEXpcEB
起初牠只會待在自己的小窩中,不太會周圍探索,也不會吠叫;然而這乖孩子形象只維持了三天,意識到這裡並沒有危險後,開始活潑好動起來。523Please respect copyright.PENANAfQJtdg7JuB
523Please respect copyright.PENANAHSb5CEOTE6
如是這般,這調皮的孩子便慢慢融入家中,體型也日漸由微胖變成重量級的肥胖。523Please respect copyright.PENANAGEfeLZndb3
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6caIM721yT
由於家裡也沒有私家車,這些年間我也只是帶牠到家樓下散步,而這些地方就已經是牠的世界。523Please respect copyright.PENANAXFpGaof5L6
523Please respect copyright.PENANAfKb26ruqcN
如同牠的世界只有我一般,在我人生經歷挫折、仕途不順、與家人關係惡劣之際,牠也是我堅持活下去的唯一動力。523Please respect copyright.PENANAzU7xyZ8Psu
523Please respect copyright.PENANAaXc5ANPOVp
當時剛畢業的我只有微薄的薪水,為了盡可能彌補牠,我在牠飲食上花費毫不吝嗇、玩具經常換、假日陪牠玩直至牠累了不想動......雖然這養成了牠挑三揀四的小姐脾氣。523Please respect copyright.PENANAZwXMFcBx2b
523Please respect copyright.PENANA1Sli3lDqXO
既然我把牠的命買下,就有責任去照顧牠。523Please respect copyright.PENANAC3r74OOwlQ
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6qeIpd1dzo
這是我應該做的,也是我必須做的。523Please respect copyright.PENANADqUwDVr3gw
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMva8UFnOWR
523Please respect copyright.PENANArDJv43PkOW
時光飛逝,轉眼間牠已經六歲半有多。523Please respect copyright.PENANAXFPiuPsB8u
523Please respect copyright.PENANAO3TyhhoiBi
某天牠的左眼瞼翻了一點點出來,因為牠也曾經有過這問題,當時給牠點了眼藥水就治好,因此以為這次也只是小毛病。523Please respect copyright.PENANAMmdbjRIOlk
523Please respect copyright.PENANABBuDhKVX8w
可幫牠點了一個星期眼藥水也絲毫沒好轉,由於體型龐大的牠已不能偷偷乘搭交通工具,我便預約獸醫登門給牠檢查。523Please respect copyright.PENANAKhCDzQS3Bc
523Please respect copyright.PENANA1Z6tx6fd3T
「牠可能眼睛受到感染了。」523Please respect copyright.PENANAGv5JA2VWgG
523Please respect copyright.PENANAj7nUK6O5KO
獸醫在檢查後得出這結論,並處方了眼藥水和抗生素。523Please respect copyright.PENANAyXOzwUa8cX
523Please respect copyright.PENANAQQxu7taT5L
然而這些藥吃了幾天也不見任何作用,左邊鼻孔還開始流出淡黃色的鼻涕,因此我再次預約同一位獸醫登門診察。523Please respect copyright.PENANAFMEVnH770N
523Please respect copyright.PENANAwY3sLywIZL
「應該是感冒了。」523Please respect copyright.PENANAGeJBrdS7WN
523Please respect copyright.PENANAeNkCSGLXVm
這次除了抗生素,亦處方了消炎藥。523Please respect copyright.PENANAQFMT16hqXn
523Please respect copyright.PENANAYzhruAfpO7
同樣地吃了幾天藥也沒有好轉,鼻涕偶爾還會滲雜著血絲,左邊臉上亦多了一粒杏仁大小的硬塊。523Please respect copyright.PENANAjZFQbSvXxE
523Please respect copyright.PENANALqnjYeGPCl
意識到登門的那位獸醫並不能治好牠,我便決定帶牠出門去診所應診。幸好當年已有叫車服務,就算沒有私家車,也能帶著寵物出門遠行。523Please respect copyright.PENANAQf5UVTPUdo
523Please respect copyright.PENANAXUms0Z5ywk
「可能是蛀牙引起牙齦發炎潰爛,口鼻相通之下令鼻涕有血絲,臉上的顆粒是膿包,要治好就要把牠的大牙拔掉。」523Please respect copyright.PENANARmNwjU3i09
523Please respect copyright.PENANAIMr8W77jUT
雖然獸醫這麼說,但牠的牙齒分明健康又結實,加上牠也天天啃潔齒棒,實在難以想像牙齒有問題。523Please respect copyright.PENANADokBmbGbHr
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMM53SzzqmW
鑑於想聽多一個獸醫的意見,我便預約了同一間診所另一位評價比較好的獸醫。523Please respect copyright.PENANALV10OwZ4FO
523Please respect copyright.PENANAc3s7mBdNHR
這位獸醫摸了摸那硬塊,眉頭一皺,往牠臉上噴了點麻醉劑,便拿針筒刺上去想抽點什麼,但什麼都沒能抽出來。523Please respect copyright.PENANAsvjOf6cseM
523Please respect copyright.PENANARsuoYu3gvO
「如果是膿液的話,這顆粒會是軟的,而且也能用針筒抽出膿液,這肯定不是什麼好東西,但這家診所並沒有足夠的儀器,要轉介你去專科診所。」523Please respect copyright.PENANAr4dtODZiLI
523Please respect copyright.PENANAQq4okMLomO
雖然有向他投訴診所另一位獸醫的誤診,但他不以為意,實在令人泄氣。可幸護士們都很親切,馬上聯繫了專科診所,被視為急診的情況下,翌日就可以去應診。523Please respect copyright.PENANAqRRRk9IZkb
523Please respect copyright.PENANALBuWNFAEaF
專科診所幫牠把臉上硬塊的部分組織切下送往外國化驗,此時它已由杏仁長至雞蛋的大小。一個星期後,等不及診所聯絡,我已主動打電話查詢,心想能切除的話就早一天切除。523Please respect copyright.PENANAlnoKr1A85Z
523Please respect copyright.PENANAK4vbNS4kKI
「牠患的是骨癌,而且長在臉上不能切除,沒有治好的可能。」523Please respect copyright.PENANAG8WqoujOCE
523Please respect copyright.PENANAWT59u8MFKL
這宣告實在太突然也太震驚,即使當時人在公司,也忍不住哭出來。523Please respect copyright.PENANAsSwOpddy6l
523Please respect copyright.PENANAOY1grh4bah
之後我搜尋了很多可以幫狗延緩癌症的資訊,也嘗試過偏方(早晚餵食加了亞麻籽與冷壓麻籽油的茅屋芝士),但這偏方實在過於難吃,以致牠每次也會吐出來。523Please respect copyright.PENANAEBTVQT9ir4
523Please respect copyright.PENANArPZzUCUOET
如果知道生命餘下的時間不多,我也不想只吃難吃的食物受苦,牠豈不是也如此嗎?523Please respect copyright.PENANAzPzTctxOYp
523Please respect copyright.PENANAuKijQjIYtc
因此我停止了這偏方,轉而餵食新鮮食材。523Please respect copyright.PENANA8Xm0sZfwUl
523Please respect copyright.PENANAmJM9GJqEBO
由於牠左邊的口腔已被腫瘤侵蝕潰爛,幾乎咀嚼不到食物,所以我每晚下班回家都會用攪拌器把煮好的新鮮食材攪成糊再餵給牠。523Please respect copyright.PENANAAUthfxizXu
523Please respect copyright.PENANATGGBSTu3WV
在這最後的一個月,每逢假日我便會帶牠出遠門玩,雖然深閨的牠顯得有點害怕陌生環境,但習慣了之後還是看得出牠是很高興的。523Please respect copyright.PENANATcEEKx2qsw
523Please respect copyright.PENANAMYxAHeUxGg
我真的好後悔沒有更早帶牠出遠門。523Please respect copyright.PENANAxOeklNv5ED
523Please respect copyright.PENANA5AVB8knpS8
叫車服務其實早知道有,只是我一直把這計劃推遲,怎料牠原來已沒有多少時間能見識這個世界。523Please respect copyright.PENANApXCXRID8dj
523Please respect copyright.PENANABsZODlLkHI
發病起僅僅兩個月,腫瘤已如網球般大。或許侵蝕到腦部,有時牠會抽搐,左眼也被擠壓到變形,口腔的潰瘍也導致牠每天流很多血,輕易把一條浴巾染得血跡斑斑。523Please respect copyright.PENANAjHO7ivAHSs
523Please respect copyright.PENANAVyp8NwewYr
我知道牠很痛,同時也知道牠想活下去,動物從來都不會輕易放棄生存。523Please respect copyright.PENANAxGK4ZnkfQq
523Please respect copyright.PENANAVSFPgLihn2
可這樣下去牠會死得很辛苦,掙扎了好久,我還是預約另一位獸醫登門,給牠安樂死。523Please respect copyright.PENANAtIeH2VsyRL
523Please respect copyright.PENANAjbKBfoV9yr
那天是除夕,亦是牠7歲的生日。523Please respect copyright.PENANAJQ4AVFQcVP
523Please respect copyright.PENANArzdP21GbAo
一整天我都陪著牠,但顯然牠並不知曉接下來會發生的事。523Please respect copyright.PENANAVeK6u3TlH9
523Please respect copyright.PENANAIRNQj41oj6
晚上8時,獸醫及他的助手到達,傻傻的牠還以為他們是客人,上前去討摸。523Please respect copyright.PENANAPIqMiRoHvn
523Please respect copyright.PENANAQLwwlIOfWD
評估過牠的現況及看過化驗報告後,獸醫同意給牠安樂死,也指出牠的腫瘤已經非常大,即使處方高劑量類固醇也活不了多久。523Please respect copyright.PENANAg60dRw7H7W
523Please respect copyright.PENANAdXrU2szq6b
無論做了多少心理準備、腦海模擬過多少遍,分別一旦來臨,眼淚還是決堤而出。523Please respect copyright.PENANAQMXZ22rz0w
523Please respect copyright.PENANAvwRw6n9h5y
這是最後一次機會去做選擇,而我,最終亦選擇替牠安樂死。523Please respect copyright.PENANAHb7X7GrjKc
523Please respect copyright.PENANA7DJecTViDQ
獸醫先給牠注射了鎮靜劑,稍等幾分鐘至藥力生效,再給牠注射致死量的麻醉藥。523Please respect copyright.PENANAqL6TKJXJ5y
523Please respect copyright.PENANAf8fojpQoMp
牠就這樣緩緩地趴下,仿似只是睡著,隨時會醒來的樣子。523Please respect copyright.PENANA37cjxdEzGf
523Please respect copyright.PENANAgx7pAGNA9q
經獸醫檢查,確認牠的心臟已經停止跳動。523Please respect copyright.PENANACyXd8zgVaP
523Please respect copyright.PENANAI7DVBdSiW3
在牠7歲的這天,亦是我們離別之日;是我親自給予死亡,讓牠提前去了當狗天使。523Please respect copyright.PENANA0Fp9PEMcYp
523Please respect copyright.PENANAdJ8TUR4Krz
直到現在我還會禁不住想,要是我當日快點找到合適的獸醫,是否就能趁腫瘤還細的時候切除?523Please respect copyright.PENANAqwWMsfrMGy
523Please respect copyright.PENANALq199g2pAc
要是我能早點帶牠出遠門,牠的生命是否就能變得更完滿?523Please respect copyright.PENANAx9xBKMgj9U
523Please respect copyright.PENANAdi8CCYTRvp
事到如今,我對牠就只有無盡的愧疚和思念。523Please respect copyright.PENANAt5YEMgvNLC
523Please respect copyright.PENANA5H0RjnsnwM
時間的無情。
責任的承擔。
生命的價值。
生死的別離。523Please respect copyright.PENANAvS9qTGT6Zg
523Please respect copyright.PENANA6BmIACiO4P
這些都是牠以性命教曉我的。523Please respect copyright.PENANAj4qSQvXwR4
523Please respect copyright.PENANAJAjvsYB5in
即使牠已離去了差不多四年,我仍無法忘記與牠生活的日子。523Please respect copyright.PENANAKr6F2OsX2p
523Please respect copyright.PENANARYC0jizQVz
牠帶給我煩惱,也帶給我歡樂。523Please respect copyright.PENANA43Y5xa6hSw
523Please respect copyright.PENANA4xoGhg42ZE
能跟牠相遇,是我此生最大的奇蹟。
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