畢業已是五年前的事,成人後的時間流逝得真快。360Please respect copyright.PENANA1B77FmYpvt
360Please respect copyright.PENANAxqUiVBNnkC
當時為了實技試拼命鍛練、幾乎徹夜無眠。因此不出席開幕禮而選擇在會場補眠,想着趕得及考試便可以。然而會場常常有人經過,要找安眠之處並不太容易。360Please respect copyright.PENANAOZNGjnHFiF
360Please respect copyright.PENANAOoj3aqO3j8
「不好意思,可以一下嗎?我好像迷路了⋯」360Please respect copyright.PENANAobOz1Q05BR
360Please respect copyright.PENANAgJkMojkeHb
我被一對手搖醒,是一臉困擾的她。360Please respect copyright.PENANAOSlZwGGUAM
360Please respect copyright.PENANAmj1YMXI00J
我正睡在飲水機旁,連何時睡著也不記得。360Please respect copyright.PENANADOXsAGFr0N
360Please respect copyright.PENANAAdvaJzEJm3
既然醒來,便選擇伸出援手。360Please respect copyright.PENANAF8rtUjsVRG
360Please respect copyright.PENANAsJB4azBKfz
「⋯是嗎,妳是想去哪一個會場?」360Please respect copyright.PENANA299yQEfOVa
360Please respect copyright.PENANAypQPDNwV9a
「我就是⋯那個⋯⋯不太清楚。」她臉色瞬間帶點尷尬,再小聲喃道:「因為那個孩子總不會說出自己的事⋯我也不懂如何開口詢問。」360Please respect copyright.PENANAk3S23i8mSY
360Please respect copyright.PENANA6KbF3zwY4D
那是一對異常寂寞的眼神。像快乾涸的池塘、水面一絲不動,我和她對上眼後不禁移開視線,普通地感到可怕。360Please respect copyright.PENANAl5Q6lSkTT8
360Please respect copyright.PENANAY6LsX7SUqm
於是馬上借了她手上的指南為她指路。360Please respect copyright.PENANAdeG0NGB4K3
360Please respect copyright.PENANAbrimHbmzwv
「這裏是醫科生的會場來的,所以如果不是這裏……如果妳的女兒要不是考「筋力證明」的話,應該會「一般試」的會場⋯⋯這裏哦。」360Please respect copyright.PENANAChVevkGcN4
360Please respect copyright.PENANA6K4RSmBb1w
「謝謝你⋯要是我家女兒也像你般開朗就好了。」她接下指南後說道。360Please respect copyright.PENANAf1gnFkr7sd
360Please respect copyright.PENANASSjVWlnyIy
她的笑容讓我感到意外,心想這個人原來也會笑的。360Please respect copyright.PENANAbdaX3WEquK
360Please respect copyright.PENANAYVk8g1p7aX
與此同時,走廊的喇叭突然響起。正是我所參加的項目宣告最後召集。360Please respect copyright.PENANAJWoAcT6Rv2
360Please respect copyright.PENANA8AqrAgLAvj
「跨欄已最後召集!?不妙!那我要先走了!拜拜。」360Please respect copyright.PENANAbuj25U9Jt4
360Please respect copyright.PENANAiLMaS7btSW
要不是她喚醒我,恐怕已經失去資格。因此印象十分深刻。至於她能否記住得我,則無從可知。360Please respect copyright.PENANAJZhjJ3JZZq
360Please respect copyright.PENANAMDtv3I0apZ
「⋯我認識你的嗎?」360Please respect copyright.PENANAPaQtbLRvNZ
360Please respect copyright.PENANAGctp2Vqt76
有時候對本人重要的大事,對他人而言只是微不足道的小事。360Please respect copyright.PENANAHWa0lIMtER
360Please respect copyright.PENANAmoRRepaDN8
「算不上認識啦⋯只是以前間接被你幫助過而已⋯⋯」360Please respect copyright.PENANAvSEgUS95yl
360Please respect copyright.PENANANV1gnoBAqw
「是嗎?⋯那你要喝嗎?」她看似不在乎我的話,只從膠袋掏出一罐啤酒遞出,純粹想要酒伴。360Please respect copyright.PENANAjHHvmXcERD
360Please respect copyright.PENANA47vGjlJP58
「看你也沒事做,就一起喝吧。」360Please respect copyright.PENANAyld8pGBFni
360Please respect copyright.PENANAl82H3F5nVQ
跟陌生人喝酒是人生第一次,同時在鬱悶的氣氛喝酒亦是第一次。360Please respect copyright.PENANArVTuDpb6Gf
360Please respect copyright.PENANAbPvSRb4YEb
大人痛苦時喝酒都是為了逃避,我並不想成為那樣的大人。然而這刻我連自己是否痛苦也不清楚,總感覺一切也不重要。360Please respect copyright.PENANAA9rrvCJpRx
360Please respect copyright.PENANAP5rBF5K96C
不能隨心所欲的人只能隨波逐流。360Please respect copyright.PENANAgRqmOo3B8w
360Please respect copyright.PENANAneJziYYWq7
手掌接下啤酒,啪咔一聲開罐,大口灌下。360Please respect copyright.PENANABcfNOld20E
360Please respect copyright.PENANAtHMnXzNcU3
「酒精味好濃…。」360Please respect copyright.PENANAntf6aI9P3U
360Please respect copyright.PENANAwf983s4mW1
酒精味太濃反而嚐不清楚味道,但真的會有人覺得這好喝嗎?360Please respect copyright.PENANAS4L8XY7gx6
360Please respect copyright.PENANApTojK0rYV5
「這就是大人都喜歡啤酒的原因。」她答。味道不重要,反正醉了便不會在意。360Please respect copyright.PENANADBqE0VeuNO
360Please respect copyright.PENANA7j4S90xarW
「看你一個人坐在海邊,是失戀了嗎?」360Please respect copyright.PENANADYrdySEiIc
360Please respect copyright.PENANANsG2991OEJ
360Please respect copyright.PENANAzKiNY2G64T
「不是。只是,感覺因為自己的錯令身邊的一切不再熟悉,有點追不上……」360Please respect copyright.PENANAfxLNm74DlI
360Please respect copyright.PENANAHsbthH8Fk8
360Please respect copyright.PENANASiDrd5H9cU
「原來如此,也是呢⋯世界可是奇怪又奇妙的。即使以為多熟悉的東西,也有不斷轉變⋯或者離開的一日⋯⋯但是結果就結果,怎樣後悔也改變不了,我們只能接受現在。」360Please respect copyright.PENANAMJIVujIaj4
360Please respect copyright.PENANAesMt4TEakJ
「所以千萬要記住,悶酒嚐過就好了,不要變成我這般只會喝悶酒的大人。」她握扁着手上的鋁罐,已喝光第一罐,正伸手打算喝第二罐。360Please respect copyright.PENANAtZD4bLG9Vx
360Please respect copyright.PENANAcwpd8t2Hf0
的確,比起是喜歡,她更似是習慣,習慣去灌醉自己。360Please respect copyright.PENANAczBQYqtGzQ
360Please respect copyright.PENANATZY4Kg3YaG
「那妳呢?遇到甚麼了嗎⋯?」360Please respect copyright.PENANA1p8f98eyLX
360Please respect copyright.PENANArtu94kGkou
既然同樣在喝悶酒,那代表她也有煩惱。360Please respect copyright.PENANAe4iRgcAMpX
360Please respect copyright.PENANANFYA6X9izU
她背後肯定很辛苦的事,所以當時的我害怕去接觸她。而比起害怕會知道甚麼,更討厭自己會視而不見。360Please respect copyright.PENANAZMm0240rph
360Please respect copyright.PENANAAb5c7LD4PZ
「⋯⋯」面對她的無語沉默,馬上使自己知道問了不該問的。360Please respect copyright.PENANAuVcJYq1QFA
360Please respect copyright.PENANAMTWf01vqI9
她默默拉開酒罐的拉環,並像是灌水般一口氣灌入喉嚨。感覺到氣氛轉變,我趕緊包圓場的說:360Please respect copyright.PENANAAdNaIIUJzq
360Please respect copyright.PENANAY6z3kmx8K9
「對不起…不用說的也可以的!不用強迫自己⋯⋯!」360Please respect copyright.PENANAfkPDTV1uT3
360Please respect copyright.PENANA4tQilfqbW2
另一方面,內心覺得她這樣很狡猾。360Please respect copyright.PENANAdnFqjd3VBG
360Please respect copyright.PENANAcnG8I9ygqp
明明找別人搭話,還要一上來就是敏感的話題,到現在卻不打算打開心扉。360Please respect copyright.PENANATRCauC3jtE
360Please respect copyright.PENANAPS8FATVXjG
下一秒,耳邊傳來一句:360Please respect copyright.PENANA0g7kFkzgdr
360Please respect copyright.PENANAaP56gD981G
「我親手迫走了自己女兒⋯怎樣?你不想成為這樣的大人吧?」360Please respect copyright.PENANAP2Jd7bSmaK
360Please respect copyright.PENANAToBYay4Rcr
說後的當刻她露出一道苦笑。360Please respect copyright.PENANAb9q6RSbtwv
360Please respect copyright.PENANA6KR0m8bszS
大人主動揭露傷痛,相比勇氣,更需要的是麻醉。原因無他,就因為是大人。360Please respect copyright.PENANAgN0yVSedfO
360Please respect copyright.PENANADXarEXjHBZ
360Please respect copyright.PENANASpDTC2tOQF
「怎樣⋯這個話題很難接話吧?抱歉呢。」她小有尷尬的說着。360Please respect copyright.PENANAE2dWZERAsG
360Please respect copyright.PENANADtVZokh5ix
「才沒有這回事,難得你願意說出口,我也想聽下去。可以嗎?」360Please respect copyright.PENANAdrUWMuGmZF
360Please respect copyright.PENANAgs3J9sOl3y
世間總說不要管別人的家事。理由因為家事通常也沒有道理,只存在主觀。360Please respect copyright.PENANAqzu8xLIB29
360Please respect copyright.PENANATAcg6jvzaT
外人管多也沒有意義,世上惟一有進展的只有世上多了腦細胞死去。只不過人的本性始終是八卦。360Please respect copyright.PENANAVDJudojbkI
360Please respect copyright.PENANAca48GVTjXL
「⋯老實說那可不太有趣的,真的要聽大嬸說故事嗎?」360Please respect copyright.PENANA4MLnsdWbzc
360Please respect copyright.PENANAqLp2b7IhWp
然而未待我回覆,她已經自行把話接下去。360Please respect copyright.PENANA087ooae99P
360Please respect copyright.PENANAEeXoSlzIhb
360Please respect copyright.PENANAAWPBkMtGgy
她本來有丈夫,以及一個孩子。360Please respect copyright.PENANAGjnIIN8Fdg
360Please respect copyright.PENANAwNGFC67ms5
在生下女兒之前,她和丈夫已為子女計劃未來。假使孩子繼承下自己的能力、或者丈夫的能力兩個可能性也早已打算好方針。360Please respect copyright.PENANAbaC7XNr48N
360Please respect copyright.PENANAVfALSUs9zE
她的特長是預測和訂下計劃,在投資銀行工作的同時也是工作狂,即使在產假期間也繼續為相熟的客人服務着,因此受着客人間的好評。360Please respect copyright.PENANAy2wioR8sbn
360Please respect copyright.PENANA3hUn1lsbHZ
而丈夫,即孩子的爸爸,據她說是一個性格開朗的小學老師。四肢發達,頭腦簡單,是一個思想單純,亦是個十分寬容溫柔的人,與嚴謹的她可謂正正相反。360Please respect copyright.PENANAiH0F9QvriC
360Please respect copyright.PENANAdGHGpF4Mmf
也就因對方身上有着互相缺欠的部分,因此也像拼圖一樣,補上互相的缺陷,拼合成一幅幸福的理想象。360Please respect copyright.PENANAEPmQ8Gh6ej
360Please respect copyright.PENANAQz0Ulp9TPp
直至生下孩子,拼圖突然多出突兀的一塊。生下稀有種的小孩所懷有的不安,可不是未當上父母的小鬼那能想像的東西。360Please respect copyright.PENANAc1BsKL4083
360Please respect copyright.PENANA2zXhBWGS6O
為了她的未來,要定下一個舒適、可以在社會活下去的未來,長憂和思慮使她不斷在床上打轉,然而睡眠不足的她也要在深夜抱著女兒,餵她讓她安睡。360Please respect copyright.PENANANT5UnBxg4o
360Please respect copyright.PENANAC8JwqAcOWG
一百分的痛苦,這值九十九分。360Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5cfHXOrvs
360Please respect copyright.PENANAnJbXlO85iN
再加上工作方面累積下的壓力,產假後要追上工作的進度,沒有休息;亦同時要思考着看護的事,腦袋快要轉不過來也要作出各種決定,即使不如心意也要被強迫選擇。360Please respect copyright.PENANAgi0Tose4gC
360Please respect copyright.PENANAHwa03iam0a
作為完美主義者,得過且得是她最討厭的事,於是腦內同時展開各個計劃,卻一混亂下則開始交織,必需重新構想,令工作效率下降不少,失誤接連發生。360Please respect copyright.PENANA5f31wMIuJh
360Please respect copyright.PENANAfBBV92ziYO
這樣下去自己累積下的東西會一一失去,信念也好、計劃也好⋯⋯360Please respect copyright.PENANAl3TAjYAGUO
360Please respect copyright.PENANAxyjNkGba11
最後心態使心理崩潰了,正確來說患上產後抑鬱症。360Please respect copyright.PENANAM1gwrFY29R
360Please respect copyright.PENANADkmQCFB6yN
過去、現在、未來的壓力,使她越來越少容餘,也容易變得對人躁動,不只身邊,連對女兒也開始失去耐性,變得經常怒吼。幸好丈夫及時看透一切,主動提出自己負責照顧女兒和主理家務,也因此辭去教師的工作。360Please respect copyright.PENANA0dGYFrpwBI
360Please respect copyright.PENANAABwmrd9MWC
她本來的收入已有教師的約兩倍多,要是更努力進昇,家計不是問題,遠看未來也是十分合理的決定。360Please respect copyright.PENANANrUw5WpOBO
360Please respect copyright.PENANAN9D1nJ4Rf1
她對丈夫的決定十分感激,但也同時很內疚。因為知道丈夫喜歡與小孩互動,他亦為自己的工作花了不少心機,這點她最為清楚,亦是她不能想像欠缺的一件事。360Please respect copyright.PENANA3rvKfuXSdJ
360Please respect copyright.PENANAXuHSXcg5x6
心中的拼圖不斷變形,當一塊改變,周圍便會接連脫落。假使打算趕去補救也不知所措。可取的手段到底有甚麼?應做的有甚麼?必需達成的有甚麼?360Please respect copyright.PENANANsay8C2s9W
360Please respect copyright.PENANAZrAKkmobtg
視界越遠更容易發現問題,但亦代表需要同時面對更多事議。360Please respect copyright.PENANA70t0ouBhmS
360Please respect copyright.PENANAW5GOzGLbrH
對女兒的成長變得嚴格,是因為她清楚只有壓倒的實力才可適應任何環境,不被他人拋下的同時,即使是怪胎,別人也只有接受自己的存在。即使不如理想,各方面也漸入佳境,總算重上軌道,她在心裏想道。360Please respect copyright.PENANACmZnDZpuWA
360Please respect copyright.PENANA52hbua6b39
而了解到人生總不能如預期的,正是意外。360Please respect copyright.PENANAct51rkU6Zn