《赤足的庭院》（2）93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJz48118kV
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEDF1oHiKg
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zq3SKzQ9z
00393Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvU8aUaM9S
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SMwc6xrfD
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RkO4pHqcI
我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfIVDHG1FQ
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILpHrW92lE
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEabbPL693
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0I4Bgl5ji
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIjfghbExm
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYDBWXM7uM
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0WJHCzYI1
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjAjzaKAPX
但那不是指現在。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhiXvQLjJY
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTuObQJDM8
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZ7LvFd6ET
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEi94jhFxx
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsipqdbKCWO
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq2oWCalqs
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiJzmRUqhY
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXS9Eztrdh
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpfGDovJwY
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEiYEvhvCW
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tY6uLsOpf
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVne1sSoP0G
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfcxEvKldj
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXaB6AELLA
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydGtGN94H4
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwCyXO0EvL
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7quzX2M5y4
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cq8yzgwyT
「李靜。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpRkKy5lDN
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPe3bm5l4P
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjNZhMkCn6
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iaYo9Otko
「⋯⋯」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0axIupvOl
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgiFmTuvZ5
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkbTyM91QG
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkX0YNNnv5
「哈⋯⋯」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FBXc0AuMF
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTqJtcX8r0
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SbbjZCtFV
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZMsSDuTdp
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7AfARYzZ4
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnExyNn2pn9
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WFQnNrfgI
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFT6vFzxgI
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGWBryDo5A
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rZl1stCk1
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKEGokYWHm
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KO6e31kK9
我搖搖頭。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNiJzvIeVh
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0aC7MH3xZ
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1H92ABHXYI
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYotUTjXJA
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZpUcrYw6n
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ktNofizYm
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4MNTuiL1F
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1QW1neIfa
「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkD81wkrNn
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJhVXX1j8W
「是的，所以⋯⋯」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9rK7yy1W9
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAGo2qxz3W
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqlN6nx5lM
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon0GJ9b0tn
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYYoSTdpSU
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgMaoJAq0L
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNSAjjK60Q
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrJyAkA1vf
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAPPBmzg1v
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2L6J6QAwp
「怎麼可能。」她說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDSLKIQsFj
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHxLPXychC
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgnwOgGnUf
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0SpzXxN65
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQftlQ9G7h
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDUGMHiore
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WBLU3plSg
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsuKFGn0gP
直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1Gk93V3V4
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPEB2m8oMU
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v7yh9SHGD
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQO4wQpAAN
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T72IkDG0h
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWK2cRSiaed
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuF4WAIHXxp
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpewVOkRDn
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsT4VHrKwV
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJT60PLxiUj
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3prfnsiuwA
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8F5uzmpSY
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVHDFi6hu1
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarDyN3Vnb1
00493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawpCWlmVsb
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAc02mkeK3
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8GUyv917M
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulWmHFKpN0
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjPGU22NMP
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlEidZW83o
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIV3VECvZV
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX3OpfTUCl
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87dQHiqlpE
「嗯，非常美味。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8Wr2r81pz
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnH2Jg6hbc
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1nIsxmmTV
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAj3n91cjN
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz1gJ4gci2
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpVZzIQtMY
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡib977jlUFr
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAro4XkP5s
然後她讓我看了台灣附近。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡch7FaPAS6F
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRaFuZKqnH
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aQHvHInXq
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKqjCRdu2F
「嗯⋯⋯。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqvMfJi7CM
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgnXqcUsnu
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj2Z9jk7CS
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nnpEQUimH
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5Qy5no5N4
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V3Ug51rDA
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqhPHCZn5q
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWGzQGIRR0
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXOG9kKxsN
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd58dwY7FC
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WxASacv2e
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXGaWpMtmg
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ792GItT2Je
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM6ery0rP8
「什麼？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwy2kfBYTD6
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexdsLGzjDh
她又問了一次。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5bJe0O5mv
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9Dx24yakh
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VfB4gfhYh
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdvl6ORkt8
「什麼意思？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy006rnzxln
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT61IWuP0F
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBYfNgxWJN
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagfphsNOx5
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GOTdE0uaG
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyw0HNGLVWB
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYBRDLnoMm
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10BmlFKBcP
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbAQnRJk9S
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzDB2Uf6mE
「是嗎？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZevLJPdVt
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN4ydQQSBH
「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonKZDnCf9w
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsikNhFYR9
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHJHT5cGoQ
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwaYQIr88L
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqv4x6DVDHg
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwyQ6JaPvr
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxZu8OBDIw
果然很像。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mluFfa3fy
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1DUs6iGx0
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjgFo1N8HI
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjU9WtgFRTu
那是我第四次的離家出走。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFLnKiJ1VF
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmVxmnYwS7
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbqqiUlBdL
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7DuSLSv0k
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrXlObjp5Z
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdWs1xMqzo
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9xXuoQwVC
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYW47nCM0D
我喜歡文學。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tGu1MWp5B
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbAkNRnX8R
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLE9OHgegyq
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5xf4s6Wb8
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJQnv2cgtE
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRxZksCUe3
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtPpCxLT40
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEZnBFmRGh
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFx3eZ1Y29
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h3Ks9nanM
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFyCmcvKTe
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcVhOrb3aJ
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQ97DvXSV3
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVg3LoVSvW
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDlN02b7Dh
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIRscLeLBV
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2SnOczhOD
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqEfsKGTM0
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkGpj5tZOZ
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMakpqzXfci
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy62uMvZPR
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPWg8FflAy
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaYMaE7IQh
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgelpEhcdt
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK2t9MnGIs
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbJMimXcxV
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNIsK5LGDo
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCkOyApIs0
「嗯，你也是。」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8akbJ6HLCQ
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRf2I3qBOU
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYtpWLZBem
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMH5uZa3Au
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuEOFia9H6
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbHwollv7m
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnJ89Zocg1
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHh7Q1gkno7
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmJT2OV7G0
93Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOz0Qsef9H
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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