《BTS文庫》 - 《慢冷》

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何嘗以沉默收尾？讓溫柔後的偏執使他折磨。

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把冷凍的真心留給大地的遼闊，盼著美景留不下的輝煌。

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永別了。

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輕巧繞去道路的小徑，沿途的綠意是盛夏之時，杏風嫵媚撫過柳樹細枝，拍打著細枝的柔情似水，作響的綠野一遍，溫和的交響樂矯情如初見。知否，知否應是綠肥紅瘦，深愛著春季的柔和，駐足停留。

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溢散暖陽之下的守護，映入眼簾的雪色紡紗。噹啷一聲，頂上的風鈴乘風搖曳，入門的檜木香氣四溢，撲鼻而來，渲染鼻嗆的衝擊，是那濃淡合宜的氣息。感覺的到，風華正茂的姿色，蘊釀著古色古香的閒暇之意。

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百合清香暈染上春氣，褐色氛圍涵蓋清爽，甚此喜愛的熟悉感。這是三年前閔玧其最常光顧的理容院。

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好久不見。

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隨意就座於傾落陽光的管轄，細膩嗅聞附著衣衫的薰香，蓄意任由涼風拂曉陣陣，順隨輕音樂的節拍，輕易的飄散，伸手觸摸一絲絕滅的清柔，再挽留一點的輕盈。

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遮擋光亮的肆虐，盼向燄橘的迷霧，是如此放晴的初春。

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「歡迎光臨，抱歉讓您久等了。」鄭號錫鞠躬致歉，髮絲之中飄蕩的馥郁，釉髮的亮麗襯托文雅和典緻，但此刻卻在暖光的反應下顯得憔悴不已。

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336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGJKrv1NDo

灑落臉龐的光芒，使鄭號錫的視線有些朦朧，眼前安然就座的男人，依舊看不清楚，僅有一片交雜的霧氣，掩蓋眼簾。不禁揉著眼眶，盼望能使濛霧之感消失。

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瞧見鄭號錫胡亂搓揉深邃的黑眸，甚至衝湧憔悴的血絲，如此的疲憊。當我不在的時候，你到底是如何把自己弄成這樣的不堪？

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一聲嘆氣「是我，閔玧其。」

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336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNITxXmLyv

鼓起多大的勇氣能挽留？反正我已經脫口而出了，我已經準備好了。

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「你來做什麼？」

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換來的一句並非歡迎的感動，也並非烈焰般的恨意，只是時光沖淡後的冷漠。倏地像剛萌新刀痕的疼痛，溫柔清淡的劃破表面，但卻沒有艷紅的淚水，僅有寂寞的喊叫。

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336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmII5rTHe3

這尚且對閔玧其來說，並不疼，只是有些刮痕罷了。固執且頑強的接受寒冷訪問，躲藏在屬於自己的角落慢慢折磨，自認為是敞開心扉，實則並非如此，那必定是一種極惡的罪行。

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不僅笑嘆，當初是誰率先分道揚鑣。

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依然是閔玧其內心的寒漠。

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「拜託，做一輩子的朋友。」鄭號錫雖然知道閔玧其的冷淡，卻也堅持著他總會有敞開心扉的時候。五年的友誼，並不會一句說散就散，始終堅信衝動可以挽留。

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鄭號錫在艷陽下笑得如此燦爛，那並非是給予自己微笑的安慰，而是純粹的展露一抹笑靨，把皺摺撫平，把害怕擦拭，千萬別往返那冷清的回首，要相信閔玧其的真心。

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膽顫心驚遠蓋過笑容的慰藉，伸出節骨分明的小指，它在光芒萬丈中閃耀，也期盼一點回應，一點就足以。可能傷的千瘡百孔，但他也甘願。拜託回應一次就好，至少一次。

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閔玧其不想對鄭號錫心軟，他真的不想。

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明知道隔天他就要出國留學，但鄭號錫依舊嘗試挽回無法承受的現實，就算自己被傷害的痛苦不堪，他還是希望閔玧其能回應，甚至答應。

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「抱歉......。」閔玧其真的沒有選擇心軟，他選擇另一種傷害。獨自認為這是最好的方式，在惡魔的親吻下以這拒絕，對他和鄭號錫必定都是唯美的抉擇。

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鄭號錫雖然笑著，卻是帶傷的笑顏。總算傷痕累累的微笑，總算可恥的忍住淚流滿面，總算看清五年來的友誼，它一切都是玩笑。怎麼辦？他可能下一秒就會替這片寒漠淚流。

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死心塌地，是表達此刻的窒息感。原來衝動真的聽不見挽留，一切都是虛謊般的感情，像木偶的偏執操縱。呼冷呼熱，正在自我折磨。

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閔玧其，你說完了嗎？是誰率先開口答應友誼長久，就是你。

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它最終冷淡了，五年就這麼沖淡了。

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風，吹走了美好。

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「對不起。」陽光投射在閔玧其的臉龐，並不溫暖。它先熾熱著，卻先變冷了。陽光使閔玧其浪漫的若無其事，卻也惹人淚流，慢熱還在飛騰著，但依舊冷卻。

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他不想聽到閔玧其任何一句道歉，一切都晚了，別再讓我傷痕累累，請你離去，是最好的方法，算我對你最後的懇求。

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「求你了，快離開吧。」

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疼，很疼。這是閔玧其第一次感受到的傷痕，它並不是輕柔的劃破冷卻的表面，而是迅速蔓延膨脹的苦痛，用力割裂沉陷的喊叫。心中僅剩的寒冷，被熾熱的血液包覆。沒了寒氣，但也沒了軀殼。

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緩慢沉淪在艷紅的大海，它雖艷陽高照，卻永遠無法感受溫暖。直到最後一絲防備被淹沒，摧毀殆盡之時，之前僅有的寒冷也即將消失，將成了外殼。

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「號錫......」

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「真的，別再說了。」因為不管如此，都沒有用了，無法反悔之前的錯誤。

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鄭號錫知道時光的無情，他不想再心如刀割的活著。就算是閔玧其，他也要狠心拒絕，跟當初一樣，這必是最好的選擇，至少八年前的回憶，還存留著，只是它冷凍了，僅此而已。

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這是閔玧其和鄭號錫都甘之如飴的。

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「很冷漠的你贏了，你走吧。」鄭號錫擅自走進綠肥紅瘦的後花園。

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望著他的身影，閔玧其笑著，他發自內心的笑著，燦爛的如此刻的暖陽，他不想選擇失聲痛哭，只會讓自己更加頑固。反正依然是形同陌路。

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隨著風鈴的搖曳，閔玧其終究離開了。

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永別了，曾經的朋友。

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04.

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友情是偏執的，想飛騰、想溫柔，最後依然被冷風殘暴的摧殘至破滅，猛烈攻勢著緩緩下沉的真心。

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336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcK1k3bCXq

時光依舊不在；美景倏地流逝；友情會被沖淡。是如此的寒冷，很是可惜那觸手不可及的荒涼。緩漸流浪。

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這和無情有何差別？

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只不過我們擅自將它稱為慢冷罷了。

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FIN.

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