"You should just sit in. Maybe you'll meet some of the kids your age and make friends." I nod my head, anxious but resigned this day would come.
Schooling.
What did I know? I lived in a pack from the moment I was born, one who was taken over years ago by a psychotic lunatic name Daniel who thrived on keeping his subjects both blind and as ignorant as possible. I'd never gained a high school or even the equivalent of a middle school education I'm sure. Would I have any idea what they taught in a normal, functioning pack? Would it be the same tyrannical, cult jargon Daniel repeated like his own personal mantra?
"This is an incredible opportunity. I was with the old pack long before him and I saw a good, wild and sane pack and this is a beautiful thing. Your father and I did the best we could to teach you but it's not the same as this. Go, I know this is something new to you and I've already talked to the teachers here, they know not to call on you."
I burrowed into my frayed long sleeve wanting to get lost in it. It made no difference I could rip the door of my bedroom off its hinges without breaking a sweat, the idea of walking into a room of my peers and having them look at me unnerved me to death. We've been here almost two weeks and I've managed to avoid the majority of everyone so far. It wasn't that I thought they weren't approachable, it's just that I didn't want to approach.
"Go Julianna. Be good." I watched my mother's mouth form the words into a sharper, quicker command and I huffed before turning on my heels and stepping out into the hallway. I slowly made my way towards the stairs. As I started down the stairs I remembered running into the man I hadn't seen in over a week.
I shuddered abhorrently at the ghostly impression of his hands on my sides hanging onto me so I wouldn't plummet down a flight of stairs. While I was silently grateful for the concussion-free encounter with these vicious stairs I swallowed something sour at the thought of the Alpha. Alphas, I hate them. Constantly forcing people to bend to their will. Doing what they want, when they want and not caring what it does to others. Every time I'd seen him he's invaded my privacy or ordered me to do something like he has some control of me.
If I'd been a wolf like these people around me I may have submitted but I wasn't for the pure fact that I refused it all. I refused the change if I could help it, the violence, the games, the constant battles. They've cost me too much and I will deny this life the ability to take who I am. Wolf may be in my blood but it controlled nothing in my mind.
I dragged my feet all the way to the classroom with dread filling my stomach but the moment that doorway came insight. I locked the fear away.
I learned long ago monsters fed on fear.
I stepped into the room and instantly felt rooted to the spot. I met eyes all around me and I'd read enough books to know this was your typical classroom setting. The uniform desks sitting in rows with students situated around all while the teacher standing at attention. At the head of the class stood a older looking gentlemen, appearing late forties with hair only now beginning to silver.
He smiled widely at me and started towards me. I glanced around and imagined the silent air in this room as no one spoke. Was silence for hearing people the same as silence for me?
"Hello Julianna, your mother says you have learned to read lips. So you can understand me?"
I nodded simply.
"That's wonderful. My name is Harrison but most people here just call me Harry. I'm the English, history teacher and with the younger pups I teach preschool and kindergarten."
I wondered what kind of history he taught but only nodded, worrying my hands behind my back.
"Please sit wherever you'd like and after the others will introduce themselves. But for now we're in the middle of English."
I bobbed my head and headed towards the back, closest I could get to the door. I felt eyes on me and I inched my chair away from the boy closest to me. He sat two desks away, eying me from his peripherals. His dark blonde hair matched the beauty of his bronze tanned skinned perfectly. He looked a little older than me so he's definitely changed, that was evident by the muscle filling out his shoulders and arms. He was the kind I imagined in book that girls fell all over. Bright almost feral green eyes followed my every movement and when they bounced up and caught me eying him cautiously he gave me a half smile then turned away.
He was handsome.
The Alpha Sebastian is even more so.
But so was Daniel. He had the magnetism and charm that attracted you.
It's pretty common in psychopaths.
Looks can be deceiving.
I watched Harrison talk about styles of writing and a book called The Great Gatsby and then ironically enough he began to talk about, what else, color.374Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eH6aLtd5c
I slipped out of the house a couple hours till sunset, after class had finished I followed the trail my mother had told me about. It took me east and just about the moment the house faded back into the trees I saw hints of a large outbuilding ahead of me.
"Did you bring them?"
"You told me to throw them all away."
"Did you or did you not bring them?" Mom had smiled at this and nodded.
"They're in the trunk of the car."
The bare trees gave way to another clearing similar to the pack house but in the middle of this one sat a rectangular building. It was a car garage long enough to fit five vehicles. Muted in color, one side was left open for people to pull their vehicles in and out. The only two vehicle there was a forest green Jeep Cherokee and mom's Oldsmobile. I gripped the keys tight in my hand trying to ignore my sweaty palms.
My heart beat heavy like the rhythm of a drum as I reached the well used vehicle and popped the trunk. The lid flipped up slowly. There, the only thing in the back aside from a tire iron and jack, sat a box. Heaving it out, settling it on my hip I pushed closed the trunk.
While physically it was light as a feather the anxiety that reared up in me dogged my mind making each moment heavier than the last.
Sitting the dreaded box on the trunk I glanced around to find myself still alone and pulled open the flaps.
The flashbacks assault me in waves,
Daddy's arms grab me from behind and his fingers find my sides, tickling me relentlessly. My young squeals echo through the room. My mother smiles before me as Daddy tells me, "Gotcha Annabear!"
Suddenly the flashback warps into something horrifying.
Daniel has me pressed against the door of mom and dad's Oldsmobile his dark brown eyes alight with madness, "Do you know what female wolves are made for?"
I feel like a small rabbit caught in a bear trap, his words digging deep under my skin, like the metal teeth of a trap, filling me with fear and poison. I felt defiled just by his breath in my face. I try to pull away but his large hands are much too strong. I haven't changed yet and lack of strength leaves me unable to budge this forty year old werewolf. I'm unable to breath when he uses his body to force me harder into the metal frame behind me and he speaks again,
"Don't worry Julianna, you're not a woman yet but soon you will be." He smiles, his lips sharp like a knife.
The ghost of Daniel's filthy hands on me and the splice of reality where I feel hands on my arm has me screaming.
...if you ever find yourself alone with him scream as loud as you can and run... I'll protect you.
The wild sound that leaves my throat shakes me as I claw and fight the hands that I'm sure are real now. The imprint of Daniel on my mind has me screeching again. I'm pushed against mom's car, stomach first and for a completely surreal and broken moment I'm truly back with Daniel.
"No-no-no-no."
The harsh feel of those words echoes in my mind as they leave my lips. Sobs fill the back of my throat and tears begin to stain my cheeks as I'm suddenly forced to spin around.
"What the hell happened to you?"
It's Sebastian. I blink through my tears and when they clear I can see another woman behind him, hand over her mouth, eyes wide in horror. My mind is dogged with memories and my present predicament and it's like my mind can't figure out quite where I am in this moment.
I struggle to be free of his touch and cry harder when he doesn't understand and grips me tighter trying to force me still.
"Go get her mother, Kari. Her name is Nicole. Now."
The woman bobs her head and rushes off towards the house.
"Now stop struggling. Calm down and I'll let you go. Understand?"
I sob and nod my head. I try to relax but my body shakes almost as much as my mind does. I try to push his hand off my but they don't budge.
"Did someone hurt you?"
I look away and push against his arm harder. This time he lets me go. I jump several steps back, curling my arms around me like it would keep all the fear from bursting out of me again.
"Answer me."
"Fuck you." I hiss with mostly air but he catches my meaning. I know he does as his eyes narrow and his upper lip curls.
"Why do you fight me every step?"
It's in my nature, I want to say but I look away. He follows my gaze and settles on the box, open with all its contents for the world to see.
He reaches as I rush forward. His fingers brush the first picture of my father. I snatch it out and hold it to my chest protectively.
"Who is that?"
I stare him down but he seems unaffected.
"Your father?" I glare darkly.
"Did you paint this?" I nod shortly and he looks from me to the box.
"They're incredible." He grabs the terrifying one. The Alpha stares at the subject, his brow crunched together as if in extreme confusion and distress. His mouth opened for a second then it closed. His eyes roved over the artwork too precious to be wasted on the content. Why did I paint that years ago?
"Why... do you have a painting of Daniel Nelson?"
Why... do you have a painting of Daniel Nelson?
I stare up at the ceiling in my room, following the rough swirl of the paint as it twists the color.
I couldn't get the look in his eyes out of my head. Anger. Shock. Confusion. More fury.
How does this new Alpha know the old one?
At the time I hadn't thought to try and ask him. He said his name. I watch his mouth make the monster real. I had to get away. I'd tossed my father's picture in my box, jerked it off the car and hurried away from the man as he still grasp the canvas art in his hand. I had left the only picture of the man that had stained me with the man who someone always came to see me at my weakest. That thought cut me apart like a hot knife through butter.
I'd passed the Kari woman and my mother hurrying forward but before mom could open her mouth I zipped right past her, clutching my box to my chest. Since then I've been here, dazed and stuck in the past.
Sprawled over my bed and tried to just breathe and not think. It was no use. His eyes. That confusion in them lived behind my lids when my eyes closed. I sighed, sitting up to drag the box onto the bed. After rubbing my palms on my jeans I slipped open the flaps again.
My father's painting sat on top, his weathered, older face staring up at me, taunting me with beautiful memories and shattered dreams. Forgetting the rest of the box I spent the next hour staring at only him. My idol. My rock. My first love. My blood. Mom says I look so much like him and the only thing we carry in common physically is gender. Daddy used to laugh at that. I close my eyes and remember the sight of him laughing. My eyes sting as I remember the smell of him, the feel of his hands, his skin, his voice as he held me close. The vibration so unique to him.
It's okay Annabear. I'll be back before you know it.
But you didn't come back, Daddy. You died and left me alone with a monster.
I sniffled, wiped my eyes and looked again at the painting. My heart still clenched in my chest.
Jackson Allen Roth was a handsome man. Not just werewolf handsome but man handsome. He didn't survive off of the attractiveness all wolves have, he had that innate male sharp, classical look. Wide jaw, tan complexion, arched brows and striking gunmetal eyes. I brushed his thick dirty blonde hair imagining how it'd feel in my hands. In the painting he was smiling closed mouth at the viewer, that soft look of pride he'd always give me but in real life-
I looked up to the ceiling trying to fight off the tears. When I'd gained control, the tears tightly locked away I looked back down. I fought for breath.
But in real life he almost always smiled with his teeth. His whole face didn't light up when he smiled but when he laughed. When you were the one who made the man laugh it made you forget everything around you. His eyes and the fierce love in them made you feel like the center of the world.
That's what entranced mom, I imagine.
Laying my father's painting on the bed I hopped off and slipped into the hallway to mom's room. Knocking gently I pushed the door open. She looked up from where she was on the bed folding clothes. She smiled and urged me forward,
"Hey baby. Look about earlier, with the Alpha..."
"I don't want to talk about it mom, please. I have a question." I said and something on my face must have alerted her to the severity of my thoughts.
"What's on your mind?"
I wrung my hands together and sat beside her.
"I was wondering... why did you and dad never become True Mates?"
I watched the color in her face pale and the shirt in her hands flutter into her lap.
"True Mate?" I nod and she nodded back, brows tight together.
"We weren't True Mates, Julianna."
I blinked, surprised. The shock must have shown.
"Our wolves said we weren't but sweetheart just because we weren't doesn't mean I didn't love your father. Jackson was an incredible man, even more so he was a gentlemen the likes of which this world very rarely sees anymore."
I watched her eyes grow bright with unshed tears and she sniffed.
"We grew up together right before our teens. He changed first of course and I did several years later. By then he'd put on his muscle, begun filling out and I'd daydreamed endlessly of him."
I finger-spelled yuck and she laughed, "Yuck is right,"
"Anyway he was big then, not like how you know him but he was there to protect me through my first winter and fertile season. He never pressured me. Well, not until the second," She laughed at this, "Not that I hadn't hinted. Anyway our wolves were silent. We were not matches but I'd long ago fell in love with Jackson. I'd given him my heart before there were wolves and mates and destinies were woven. We stayed together, warmed each other every winter and every summer we played, for years, we were with each other."
"Then you had me."
"I became pregnant with you. He was the father, of that we had no doubt and your father..." The tears started to fall. "Your father got down on one knee and told me, 'Wolves or no you are mine and this pup you carry is mine. You are mine to love and protect. This child is mine to raise and teach. Marry me how humans do and make me yours.'"
"He was such a romantic." I said with a grin and she laughed, wipe her eyes as she nodded.
"Oh yes, do you remember our tenth anniversary of the human marriage? You were nine. You were going to stay with the pack so we could have a night for ourselves."
She weaved this outlandish tale of my temper tantrum at being left behind. How I had said, they were going to make another baby and how mom had screeched when dad responded with, "If your mother will let me I'm hoping for twins."
We were laughing, grinning and sharing embarrassing stories when mom's head turned to the door and she called back to someone on the other side.
"She's in here with me. Thanks," She turned back to me and smiled, "Dinner's ready. Wanna go?"
I shrug, unsure if I was ready to face the Alpha who still held my painting in his possession.
"What happened earlier, Julianna. Kari came to me-"
"Who's Kari?"
"Apparently she's the Alpha's sister."
"Oh okay. Is that why he's been gone?"
"I don't know. Anyway she came to me saying you were having some sort of panic attack or freaking out on Sebastian. When we came out you looked...scared. I stopped in after and you look like you were asleep. Talk to me baby, did he hurt you? Sebastian?"
I shook my head, "I was looking at the paintings. I found the one of him, Daniel, and then the Alpha came up from behind me. He scared me is all."
"It's okay honey, we're safe here. No one's going to touch you again."
"He knew Daniel, mom. He asked me why I had a picture of him, Sebastian did."
"Julianna, something is wrong with Daniel, sane wolves don't act like that. People don't forget something like the things he's done. After what he did to the other girls word spread I'm sure."
I swallowed bile and nodded numbly. What he did...
"Come back baby, we're not there anymore. We're safe here. You're safe. Let's go eat and you can tell me about class with Harry."
"Alright. I wonder what Marla has whipped up tonight?"
Mom mother's burgundy eyes twinkled. "I'm sure it'll be good."
I helped her put away her folded clothes and we started for the door. When I turned the knob and pulled the door open I came face to face with the man I couldn't seem to avoid.
The Alpha Sebastian watched me and I knew he'd come seeking me.
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