Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hsfBcxYGA
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwB2ueLZZs
“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJot2A4JFz
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2wqa1uVcs
The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdOM0q3dGj
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQhV2iFk1L
“I love you,” he said.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIWh2im7EF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrI2TRBzUKz
“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKx3rQfZ4h
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhU2QlrmpN
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9uJndqn3r
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0fGmtwyiy
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLQazyl5JF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDybonnETZp
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55VhGORYjZ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmipl4Fds0
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ej8bepDTp
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvlKCpQIHo
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLj8LjRIJRF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡok3ceVUcti
She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMfQemwsww
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vkgkCC5BM
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1tymRz4pF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDN3GP9v6Lu
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVU3qzFT2U
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImAccRDtYd
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kMRz2GynO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTezYNsns0e
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3vfOKb2Af
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpe1QQ0nIPe
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3THgXc3Hbo
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tTn4Aq7oY
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGYyqlaNqK
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8nzh9XXZp
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ou68ZpcVA
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7539MmrrK9
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzkj9u1ad8
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtdwYsqbY0
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZAKo9291S
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZucxDDpq9
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgsaCJyplD
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3DLm8kC37
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Vfqq0PEoh
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbWr3OEo3i
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOzCz5RfLf
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uvsfAC2Vy
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sBlFkc69r
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhBWdiYYtU
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8O6PSbSkt
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5VAdOETBG
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUn8WYydMO
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgtDBHEEku
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvsHtf8QVw
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEV74j3I4CH
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnusv4AFho
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERDcONNqPt
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH7k1UTFgG
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUabnBQ7BzL
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfQo70OTPA
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHufzY8ih39
“Oh, Master’s then?” 748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9V6XepCPt
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYtUYLBqTr
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJlfT1Ihuh
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlRJGWGxk2
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaiNkOLGIq
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHLuLkyZoy
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Nl0WWLl9d
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWIPspGq5R
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHRHtnXH3Y
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatobaNZ1HI
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OM3sPIg0M
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLZtf5GKoB
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYSGWwPLdx
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgCbWPTahA
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmaUGS0w7B
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIYAVwsc14
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2HZUWb2zx
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Skx6qHfXi
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UE8I3HOcX
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ373whzdB3i
It isn’t possible.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqc6tyBz3P
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjnOeyS2Fh
He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YfcZE5San
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4P8xKD7gbe
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVviqutrxE
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGv7jCLqBJK
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49xNYgkO2g
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EtoVa9bZ6
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGSWpT237Z
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKZ3LEXLRT
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqksZ9yd5O
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEJhRVrp3s
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnj0XtAVQQ
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqYMJGwHFp
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QK3duXIyW
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEW4LPIgI0
“Like what?” he said.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K19lXozLF
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O1u7b1CH7
“Getting married, having kids,” she said.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2OIGXxuM4
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWqBAFrosO
“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQUwOPBZNC
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZ4cOzybu1
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9WZZD2c5z
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTMcK1Zkb6
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhvRxisUbK
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX35lOk8z7s
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxXyXM0peC
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNikfGVgyQ8
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwC6ugI2EPA
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPbrhmIelS
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtr1maikhM7
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwRoGYYSwJ
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKrXxp8Wie
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0E5O9k5nN
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToDx7bwQi5
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1DdtEszmJ
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhX0UkeR2Ed
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotBwrSATge
“Who are you?” she murmurs.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKC4nzVXMb
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirKSmkFvbn
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWzHgpjtZG
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dljwPmHyj
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiSkUvSFDu
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MdkdWJBmw
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErwFgI5bnc
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetn2udglVX
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDOvVSwf3w
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFOolxi3N0
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4j9OBVr8z
748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpURCsYxs2O
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.748Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oVEBFkdmw
Penana
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