“They were from Hearthwir,” I said quietly after we had made camp for the night.
“She speaks! Thought you were going to brood forever,” Ethis said with a smirk. He was cleaning our guns. My revolver was in pieces before him. When I didn’t reply to him, he sighed and said in a compromising tone, “Hearthwir? That’s how you say it? Thought we killed ‘em all.”
“Boyos,” Djince said across the fire. He was cleaning off his helmet with a bloody rag. “They returned and tracked us.”
“That fast? On foot?” Ethis said skeptically. “They would have passed the Mordis Eyes at any rate. You really think those cutthroats would have given up easy prey like that just to watch us take them on?”
“Yes,” Djince replied.
“I still don’t get how they could have tracked us down that fast. Even horses can’t outrun gravbikes.”
“We make camp a lot,” I supplied. “They might have wanted revenge enough to bypass sleep.” Djince gave me a grunt and nodded in agreement. I quickly looked away from him. I wasn’t going to be caught pining for his damned respect anymore.
Ethis shrugged. “Whatever. They’re dead and we’re alive. Can’t we just celebrate the fact like always? Why do we have to over analyse everything?”
“Because we’re better than them,” I said quietly.
Ethis laughed. “You might be, God Scribe, but even I’m not that deluded!”
I stood then and brushed down my new olive-colored jacket. My hands clenched and unclenched at my sides. I was just so angry with the both of them, that I couldn’t stand their company any longer at the moment. I needed to be alone. I just… needed to scream at something!
“Where’s the fire, Pops?” Ethis asked, genuinely concerned.
“Nature fucking calls,” I said, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from saying anything else. I stomped off toward the latrine.
I overheard Ethis ask, “What the hell is her problem?” and almost smiled when I heard Djince respond in a bored tone, “Leave’er be… unless you want your head bitten off.”
After relieving myself at our ditch, I cleaned up and took off into the shrubbery. It was a cool night and there was an inviting breeze coming from the east, like Silverstone was just on the other side of the ridge, breathing on us. I knew that wasn’t the case. The Capitol was another handful of days away.
“Retzu… Where are you, really?” I whispered into the night. “Are you Eurasia or America? Australia or Union?” The shrublands didn’t answer, so I risked another question, “Are you good… or evil?” I doubted the land thought in such didactic ways. Nature never does. I looked down at my star-kissed hand and studied the scar there with renewed fascination. “Was I… good or evil?”
I heard the sound of boots on gravel and spun around, my heart suddenly in my throat like it wanted to leap out of my body.
Djince put out a hand, his eyes downcast.
“I want to be alone,” I said, letting out a breath of relief. I put my back to him to emphasize my resolve.
“Ethis… He…” Djince grumbled something under his breath and I frowned. Looking over my shoulder at him, he was looking at his boots, his hands stuffed into his trouser pockets.
“Ethis what?” I asked, crossing my arms.
Djince shook his head and rolled his dark green eyes. It was such a familiar thing. Despite the brothers’ differences in temperament and looks, their gestures remained alike. “He said…”
“Spit it out,” I snapped.
Djince met my eyes and said very deliberately, “I am sorry… I heard you when you told me to wait and I ignored you. I should not have ignored you and I am sorry for that. I didn’t mean to upset you. That wasn’t my intention.” His face had turned a bright red. He shrugged and looked back down at the ground. “Ethis wanted me to tell you that.”
“Do you mean it? Or do you just do whatever your little brother tells you to do? Are you really that simple?”
Djince looked up, a frown on his face. He seemed genuinely surprised--almost offended--that I would ask such a thing. He sighed then, all the fight leaving him. “I mean it,” he said, nodding.
“Then I accept your apology,” I said with a small smile. Because sorry can bring people back from the dead. How silly of me to have forgotten! I thought bitterly. I looked back out at the horizon, at the moon in all its gridlocked glory. Just go before I do something stupid.
“That’s… good,” Djince said behind me.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“Yup.”
“Then, I’ll just… go back to camp.”
“Goodbye.”
There was a scuffle of dirt, but then I heard a dissatisfied huff of breath and Djince asked, “Will you… come back to camp?”
“I will.”
“Soon?”
“Yes.”
A breath of honest relief. “Good.”
“Yup.”
After he went, I let out a hiss between my teeth. I put my cool hands to my hot face and took several deep breaths. That was sweet, you’ve got to admit, I thought to myself. Oh, please, I chided in reply. He only came over here to make peace because we’ve pissed Ethis off. Djince is only concerned with Ethis. He hardly looks at you, and when he does it’s because he has to. You may as well have the plague as far as he’s concerned.
“That’s enough,” I whispered to myself. “We can speculate until the world ends again.”
Wouldn’t that be a mercy, I thought. Do you think that’s why we ended it? To avoid awkward romances?
“I said, that’s enough.” I shook my head. “And stop saying we... You make us sound crazy.”
Crazy? Us? No!
Let’s go get some wine.
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