->>>論如何留住上鉤的美人,讓老子來告訴你~顆顆!(By系統負責人)
【凌家動物園III 小強星人也求愛】爆炸頭不要來
By 喵芭渴死姬
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5-1. 美人來抱抱
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『【特殊任務】《森林裡的可怕人物》:請為野狼族族長解決心頭大患,幫助野狼族回家。』1014Please respect copyright.PENANAoV8gIziWyi
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確認任務已更新後,泰迪熊關掉面板,低頭就見貝貝小奶貓打著呵欠又伸著懶腰,雪白柔軟的小喵身仰躺在懷裡露出白嫩嫩的肚皮,四顆腳掌小肉球張了下小指頭和小爪子後,就側過身蹭啊蹭著臉,真是怎麼看怎麼可愛,簡直要把他的心給融了。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAnFzF4MANvT
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於是,系統叮了又叮地連響兩次,加了喵喵仙貝的萌物指數和兩人的夫妻恩愛放閃度。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAtzkY4ifTrK
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夫妻?本想找說辭離開的塞倫,望見這一幕又聽到系統宣告,這才稍緩了緊繃的神經。記得官方規定未滿十五歲的玩家不得發展奸情關係,原來那貓小孩不是小朋友啊……咦?泰迪熊餅乾和喵喵仙貝?1014Please respect copyright.PENANAa1aMR7cDIG
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他驚疑地看了眼隊伍名單,果真是這兩人,不禁有些楞了。想當初《奧普斯》才開服沒多久,世界頻道就滿是他們的傳聞——初入遊戲便隻身飛過森林與海峽的仙魔初心者,就是這個祭司啊。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAHMjUQu9Mfn
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當時這件事傳得沸沸揚揚,有不少人認為泰迪熊是作弊開掛,官方卻僅以數據無異常做回應,當事人也未曾出面澄清,之後傳聞的兩主角就像消失般未再有任何大舉動,也鮮少公開發言或參與團體活動;若非塞倫今天湊巧加入隊伍,否則他也會同其他人一樣,以為這兩人早退出不玩了。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAHS2SMMCqOc
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難得巧遇傳說中的人物,難免有些好奇。塞倫偷偷朝他們叫出資訊面板,果真是連名字都隱藏的《隱私全遮罩》狀態,加上這種完全避開人潮的夜貓時間,難怪能隱姓埋名得如此成功。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAMOF81YjQqY
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「唔……」跟哥哥黏膩了好一會,喵喵仙貝才想起還有別人在,便連忙跳下地變回人形,幼嫩的小臉滿是紅暈,看起來就像貼著兩頰紅圈的玩偶小娃娃。這一幕,正好落在塞倫眼裡,令他依稀有種既視感,似乎自己曾在哪見過這男孩?1014Please respect copyright.PENANAcQKILJrvS0
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「欸?系統怎麼說你們是夫妻?明明就是兄弟啊!系統腦缺分不清嗎?」本想湊到美人身邊搭訕的肉盾,在聽到系統獎勵後,就疑惑地皺起兩道粗濃小新眉,又自問自答地拍手說:「唉呀!肯定是你們黏太緊了,讓系統傻傻誤會啦!哥就說……」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAjpoNMF7ncx
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「叮!」空中傳來系統氣急敗壞的宅宅音,「你才腦缺,老子只是腦抽而已!」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAMQRHJ5mYeC
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「……」被打斷話的肉盾頓時忘了要說什麼。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAPL5Lb4vRub
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「叮!」系統這次換了個溫和的大叔音,「很抱歉,系統方才發言不當,還請見諒。」1014Please respect copyright.PENANA1I6lxoSxgY
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「……」1014Please respect copyright.PENANASJkexyRtf4
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「……」1014Please respect copyright.PENANADjmIUCAqrE
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「……」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAYaxgRzw5qw
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系統的人格要不要統整一下啊?1014Please respect copyright.PENANA1nZr90RvuD
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一片囧囧無言中,唯有泰迪熊淡定地解除半魔狀態,摟住又打了呵欠的喵喵仙貝,「晚了,貝兒該睡了。」1014Please respect copyright.PENANA9mtoxmMEsn
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這時間天都快亮了吧,真不知該同意是晚了或是還早?塞倫正想著,就聽到出乎意料的附和。1014Please respect copyright.PENANA2h3SongxFb
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「對吼!小貝兒那邊是晚上十一點多了吧?」肉盾揉了揉喵喵仙貝的頭笑道:「好孩子要早點睡啊,這樣讀書才有精神。」1014Please respect copyright.PENANApW4UhOUQzw
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「嗯……」喵喵仙貝眨著有些疲睏的眼點了頭,才想起他們的新隊友,「啊,差點忘惹,先加好友吧!」1014Please respect copyright.PENANA0vGhmvXRG8
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「呃?」忽然跳出的加好友視窗讓塞倫楞了下,再對上喵喵仙貝閃爍期待光芒的大眼,便不自覺按下《接受》,隨後又一個加好友視窗跳出來,正是來自也閃著疑似期待反光的眼鏡爆炸頭矮人。他遲疑了半晌,才總算同意加了肉盾阿弗羅。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAze512SP9J0
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喔喔喔!美人願意跟哥作朋友了!肉盾歡欣鼓舞地於腦補中比了勝利手勢。1014Please respect copyright.PENANA3Xg3LXnrrE
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「喔耶!那窩們明天再一起做任務唷,晚安嚕!」喵喵仙貝燦笑說完,又呆站了幾秒,身體才漸漸透明淡去。同一時間,泰迪熊也隨之下線。於是,現在就只剩下肉盾與塞倫兩人。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAwsNKaTpL1y
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「……」望著頻道裡的桃紅色密語,塞倫不禁汗了又汗——1014Please respect copyright.PENANAKk3yVpyrqu
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『【私密】喵喵仙貝對您悄悄說:如果笨笨頭太煩,就把他踢走沒關係啦~OwO』1014Please respect copyright.PENANAupOM7A88vj
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估計對方下線前的幾秒滯留就是為了傳這密語吧?見這調皮語氣,塞倫失笑地勾起嘴角,看來是個很活潑的男孩啊,嗯,到底是幾歲呢?舉手投足都帶著濃濃的孩子氣,應該頂多高中吧?還有不標準的特殊發音與時差,原來是國外華僑嗎?那矮人說他們是兄弟,所以是跟哥哥一起來玩吧,兄弟倆感情真好,難怪會被系統誤判……1014Please respect copyright.PENANAcAuEG5sCPl
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「美人?塞(一聲音)倫美人?塞(一聲音)美人?」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAFEAB4L27Bx
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詭異的稱呼讓人不得不回過神,塞倫囧然看向肉盾,心想這人講話也有些異國腔,又跟那兄弟倆是一夥的,估計也是個華僑吧。他便耐著性子糾正,「是唸四聲塞,不是一聲。」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAiw2MdjVlJS
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「原來是唸四聲呀,跟美人講話真是長『姿勢』啊!」終於跟美人搭上話,肉盾激動得不得了,便想展現自己的中文天賦。先前隊裡只有他與泰貝兄弟,他們除了與NPC交談外,對彼此都直接說英文,後來加入了塞倫,他們才改以中文溝通,畢竟人在台灣伺服玩,總要入境隨俗。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAlTTSHayDXB
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「是長知識。」塞倫忍不住失笑道,又見對方絲毫沒要下線的樣子,便疑惑問:「你不去睡嗎?」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAvC11xVaWVG
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「蛤?不是才傍晚?」肉盾納悶地確認時間,才意識到對方誤會什麼,「那是小貝兒啦,他在法國讀書,我們在紐約,不一樣時間。」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAxaXYneX3UB
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「你們?」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAohj8ov90X3
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「我跟泰啊,他只在小貝兒在的時間上線。」仰頭望著塞倫注視自己的美眸,肉盾真覺幸福得飄飄然,便一股腦說起他們來玩《奧普斯》的源由,「小貝兒的中文不好,他家人怕他中文退步,就要求他必須選台灣伺服,不然不給玩,所以我們就一起……」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAB3VSPIM5W7
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呃,這人好像很……健談?塞倫有些懊悔剛多問那一句。其實他從玩《奧普斯》以來,就抱著隨走隨玩的心態,沒打算加入哪個團體或公會,也沒認真追求等級或獎勵。獨來獨往之下,偶有好友邀請組隊,但彼此作息不同,還是互相留言閒聊居多。如今突然多了個不算認識的人一直找他講話,這感覺實在不是很舒服啊!1014Please respect copyright.PENANAEfcmqyXHw4
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「話說回來,台灣現在是凌晨吧,塞美人是沒睡還是早起呀?熬夜對身體不好呀,像哥有一次臨時加班,不得不熬夜,結果……」肉盾不停說著同時,瞥見附近的怪又陸續冒出,便趕緊掏出布巾包住頭。雖說這樣頗損帥氣形象,但為了不引怪暴走傷了美人,他只好自我犧牲些,想到這,他不禁又一次暗嘆哥真偉大。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAy1iWj1arPL
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「不要那樣叫。」又一次的怪稱呼,讓塞倫有些不耐地出聲打斷,卻在看到肉盾變身花巾大媽頭時,差點轉為噴笑。他暗自順了氣,壓下幾要揚起的嘴角,盡可能保持淡定,「叫我塞倫就好。」1014Please respect copyright.PENANASUKBDm0Tjz
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嗚喔喔!美人說可以直接叫他名字耶!於是,又一次誤解的肉盾,當場就將「得寸進尺」四字發揚光大,「好的!小倫~」1014Please respect copyright.PENANA5pnPjCvdk2
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這個人怎麼……?!瞪著那花包大頭露出的傻笑,塞倫無言以對了,索性展開羽翼準備離開。剛才的大混戰讓他也集夠了獸牙,便打算先回村交任務再找藉口下線,誰知道……1014Please respect copyright.PENANAdjGdUE2xzR
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「喔!小倫要載哥一起回城嗎?真是太好了!」肉盾仰頭閃爍著感動的反光鏡片,激昂不已地摀胸說:「小倫不僅人美心也美啊,能遇到你真是哥的福氣啊!」1014Please respect copyright.PENANANeo3ap3lRl
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「……」這下想否認也不好意思了,塞倫噎住差點脫口而出的「不」字,深吸口氣冷靜下來,才一臉淡漠地說:「轉過去。」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAVufLPbWKtT
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「喔。」肉盾聽話地背過身,就被提起後領,身子也隨之離地騰空。啊!竟然是用拎小雞的方式載人飛嗎?可恨的身高差啊!望著腳下快速移動的草地,他不禁默默流下兩行清淚,還以為可以跟美人近距離抱抱接觸了說,算了,這才第一天見面,哥還是含蓄點好,免得嚇跑小倫美人。身為一個新世代陽光紳士,哥有的是恆心跟毅力啊!1014Please respect copyright.PENANAcAOIoahEnF
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於是乎,系統宅宅音又三八地飄下愛心雨——「叮!玩家肉盾阿弗羅不棄不餒地勾搭玩家塞倫,屢敗屢戰,越戰越強,意志堅定,獲得《奸定不移》的稱號,因此兩人一同進入《奸情養成機制》,目前曖昧等級1級,請玩家肉盾阿弗羅再接再厲,以撲倒玩家塞倫為最終目標唷~♥」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAp1zXKIFkG3
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系統你……!塞倫頓時怒得差點手一鬆,就把人往下扔去。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAo9Dzft89SU
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啊啊!系統真瞭解哥啊!肉盾大有喜遇知己之感,立刻張開雙手與腦補中的系統老兄擊掌歡呼。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAxbg60o5xs7
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就在這時,風勢頓轉,強大氣流迎面撲來使飛行受到阻礙,瞬息間,天地大氣匯聚成一道龍捲風急速亂竄,令塞倫一個措手不及就被擊中。急勁的風速刮得他皮膚生疼,難以控制的風向使羽翼無法揮動而自動收起,兩人便被氣流刮拋得老遠。待他們終於脫離風災範圍後,已被送到陌生的地圖上空,並迅速往下墜去。1014Please respect copyright.PENANA9UaWgHRwPj
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糟!都忘了這時間草原會有風災不得飛行!塞倫著急地想喚出翅膀,偏偏遊戲限定飛行技能有五分鐘冷卻時間,而此刻仍有兩分多鐘倒數。眼看離地面的距離正迅速縮短,估計是逃不掉了,他緊張地閉上眼睛,希望被摔死時不會太疼吧。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6GI5ftRXO
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「小倫不要動!」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAkOR8Ol7etf
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堅決的命令忽在耳邊響起,一股力道拉扯他的手臂,塞倫覺得自己似被人從頭緊緊抱住,然而加速墜落的壓迫感,令他不敢睜開眼,只聽聞一聲暴喝:「頭好壯壯!」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAJMEAT35NTG
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「碰!」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAWCqCBWyhS7
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巨大的撞擊驟響,碎裂蹦飛的砂石刮過臉頰,塞倫卻不覺得疼,也沒聽到死亡提示,便疑惑地睜開眼,竟發現自己的血條一滴都沒掉,那被他壓在身下的人是……?1014Please respect copyright.PENANA2E89ETQHjz
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「小倫沒事吧?幸好哥有頭好壯壯,猜想只要在範圍內,這防護盾應該也能保護到你……」雖墊底卻毫髮無傷的肉盾,嘰哩刮啦地上下檢查兩人狀態,待他終於意識過來時,才發現塞倫滿臉驚色,不禁納悶地問:「怎麼了?是看哥太帥……」1014Please respect copyright.PENANANI1vKVFvW3
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「你背後的裂縫……」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAyp7R0L8Kna
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及時打斷對方的話也無法阻止接下來的事。塞倫的話還未完,被他們撞出的裂縫就忽然擴大,地面也隨之往下坍塌,將還來不及逃開的兩人於驚呼中吞進了幽黑地洞。1014Please respect copyright.PENANA9GTP1nLiax
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「啊——」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAsZKegiwUm4
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「媽啊啊啊!這遊戲的道路工程怎麼搞的啊?不會是Bug吧?」肉盾抱緊被嚇傻的塞倫拼命大喊:「不怕不怕!哥的防護盾有一分鐘減傷——」1014Please respect copyright.PENANAb8snVxEXmp
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「冷、冷卻時、間?」塞倫有些舌頭打結了。1014Please respect copyright.PENANAUWqCrvLUpf
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「冷卻……五分鐘喔喔喔喔——」1014Please respect copyright.PENANA5wLNz6y8I7
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死・定・了・啊!1014Please respect copyright.PENANARhB1SRy6L6
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於此同時,世界頻道上,始作俑者發言了——1014Please respect copyright.PENANA2L63QFZ5Z3
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『【世界】系統:顆顆!天災意外可是製造奸情的要素之一啊~AWA(By 系統負責人)』1014Please respect copyright.PENANAvIGAlI9Ylb
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『【世界】偏向唬爛行:系統這回又在玩哪對倒楣鬼了?』1014Please respect copyright.PENANALyR6u2MEPy
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『【世界】有顆痣遠方來:我好像有看到一顆花椰菜在天上飛過?』1014Please respect copyright.PENANAn4SyD0UTqD
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『【世界】系統:老子才鼻告訴尼~(By 系統負責人)』1014Please respect copyright.PENANAZMdfLQxYRx
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『【世界】系統:唉……(By 系統代理負責人)』1014Please respect copyright.PENANAr7KcLPDQrY
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ε٩(๑> ₃ <)۶з Σ>—(〃°ω°〃)♥ → (╭ ̄3 ̄)╭♥ σ ゚∀ ゚) ゚∀゚)σ ლ(╹ε╹ლ)
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後記:
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這絕對是進入特殊副本的獨處節奏AWA(#1014Please respect copyright.PENANASwQ8Z7ufos
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★【凌家動物園系列】
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歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<1014Please respect copyright.PENANApbzZUK4GJ5
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by 喵芭渴死姬 / 10.17.2015
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