我沒有回家去,直接溜到他的家去。我和他之間已沒有同事關係,我可以乾脆利落地喚他「男友」。對我的突然造訪,他不解,卻沒有多問。呵呵哄哄,給我吃零食、玩遊戲機、穿他的睡衣、睡他的床。483Please respect copyright.PENANAHN4CsEz308
483Please respect copyright.PENANANyXBEKr3tj
一輪熱吻愛撫後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,將我壓在胯下,沒注意到我正在放空自己,思緒飛往遙遠的他方去了。483Please respect copyright.PENANAj5udmHIckT
483Please respect copyright.PENANAw42ljkTAqE
産房內有一張床,床上有一隻蟻后。她的腹部異常腫脹,疼痛非常,是産婦們所講的十級痛楚。厲聲喊痛,觸肢下意識地在空中揮舞,似乎臨近生産時刻。483Please respect copyright.PENANAR46cdbhnKR
483Please respect copyright.PENANAaQQreezhWR
「生產就是會這樣痛。」我以冷眼回應牠的苦痛:「長輩們沒有告訴你嗎?」483Please respect copyright.PENANAy5ZoN51xpU
483Please respect copyright.PENANAFM39HYca3j
「長輩們只告訴我,這是命運!是必然的,不得不接受。」牠低頭看著腹部,兩肢隔著下腹撫摸著卵狀的孩子,思考著命運的必然。「我生來就是為了生產。除了生產,我的存在沒有其他意義。」483Please respect copyright.PENANAfUJZYVVmBF
483Please respect copyright.PENANAdkSLgz4jOP
「這並不是必然的。只要沒有和雄蟻婚飛交尾,你就不會懷孕。」我戳破長輩們的謊言,戳破牠整輩子的信念:「即使你當不成蟻后,你也可以當工蟻。」483Please respect copyright.PENANAWTvpGfoSyC
483Please respect copyright.PENANAijeUTPkrr9
牠嗚咽起來,感到受傷。我心生歉意:我給牠看見了擦身而過的選擇,在一切已成定局的時候。哭聲未落,淒楚慘叫聲隨即補上。蟻卵以排山倒海之勢自牠腹部小穴飛瀉而出。不消一會,整張床上都是蟻卵,恐怖非常。但牠的身體卻沒停止的意識,繼續排卵。蟻卵迅速攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。483Please respect copyright.PENANAgR5ILaF0e8
483Please respect copyright.PENANAZjs73PHSS8
我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊卻傳來蟻后的哀音:「他朝君體也相同!」483Please respect copyright.PENANA1hPyBoh8z9
483Please respect copyright.PENANAra0TFx3dfl
床上的我驚叫,但男友卻誤以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力…483Please respect copyright.PENANATqNpxP4LPM
483Please respect copyright.PENANAYXNuQSlxfz
我懶理家人的反對,繼續留在男友家住。他的家說不上鬆動,僅僅夠兩個成年人居住。這份壓逼感,帶點侷促,卻意外地為我提供莫名的安全感。就像走在熟悉的蟻路上,不需選擇,不需思考,不需擔心。按著既有的指示,一直前行,就會去到預期的地點。輕鬆,簡單。483Please respect copyright.PENANAbNVprO7YOg
483Please respect copyright.PENANAhyEXmK5v4v
我挨近窗戶,望向地面黑壓壓的頭頂。我分不清那些是人頭或蟻頭。483Please respect copyright.PENANA73WH1cjruw
483Please respect copyright.PENANACekOux18b5
我一直鄙視活得像蟻的人,恥笑他們沒有自由意志,終身困在無形的樊籬當中。此刻反觀一切,我不也是將自己困在另類的樊籬當中?為了不和他們一樣,我限制了自己的行動。像蟻后,餘生只能活在巢裡。483Please respect copyright.PENANARJIDn5kmNZ
483Please respect copyright.PENANAmJieDnLxZD
自那天到來男友的家後,我沒有離開過單位。怕要面對隨波逐流的蟻,和牠們相處、溝通。思想是高傳染度的傳染病,可以經由言語、文字、圖片、暗示、氛圍等途徑傳播。避無可避!483Please respect copyright.PENANAd0zwJh3uxx
483Please respect copyright.PENANAPAwpFgZ84G
我忽爾靜默下來。483Please respect copyright.PENANAEmybc8sX4Q
483Please respect copyright.PENANAi3gywYOs8L
茅塞頓開。483Please respect copyright.PENANALQesa1leS2
483Please respect copyright.PENANAy2oNxCEhdX
根本早於懂性之前,我的腦袋已被蟻群佔據。可能是新品種的蟻,也可能是未被其他人發現過或命名過的蟻。牠們的排他性奇高,所以我對身邊的所有蟻群那樣敏感…483Please respect copyright.PENANA3VG8OOtmkS
483Please respect copyright.PENANAyTPlzH0uKY
病入膏肓了?沒救了?483Please respect copyright.PENANAtMUT1oxFCz
483Please respect copyright.PENANAMipmn1xkNs
不!我才不要和那隻可憐的蟻后下場一樣!483Please respect copyright.PENANAb62uR8BTF7
483Please respect copyright.PENANA9XwYWUdHhE
我不能妄下定論,不然會中了蟻群的詭計。我告訴自己,只要未死,就有得救可能。可是,要怎麼救?火燒蟻?煙燻蟻?水淹蟻?毒殺蟻?483Please respect copyright.PENANAEX4KPitbhg
483Please respect copyright.PENANAL7iMbGjw5p
靈光閃現。我想起了客人和女上司的對話。「人吃人」只是個例子,同類相殘才是真相!為了減少競爭,每個物種均有相爭相殘現象。自己最了解對手的同時,對手同時最了解自己。最懂殺人的是人類,最懂滅蟻的是蟻!483Please respect copyright.PENANAtOrdGpBcmg
483Please respect copyright.PENANAMAnYWAknUd
我走到廚房去,金睛火眼,環視四周。483Please respect copyright.PENANAXeTNyJYarK
483Please respect copyright.PENANAIrYRdWnhbG
牆角有隻蟻路過。483Please respect copyright.PENANAnMuRD9gei0
483Please respect copyright.PENANAFBnzecY6iC
我將牠放入耳窩。483Please respect copyright.PENANAU3ZlpzUBXg
483Please respect copyright.PENANAKAQ5VTkYoZ
期待漁人得利之日。483Please respect copyright.PENANAgbiE0BVizI
483Please respect copyright.PENANAArAQewYYbe
(第六節完)