Kwamé has been here for over two hours, and has barely said anything. That has given me more than enough time to openly stare at him - and he's damn good looking. His face is perfectly chiseled, his brows perfectly arched, and his grey, almond eyes perfectly set in his warm caramel coloured face.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAebrJCXoM
He's made me soup, taken care of me, made sure that I'm alright - but he's procrastinating. A part of me knew he would, knew that he'd be reluctant to tell me. In a way, he's just as indecisive as I am. He just sits there looking at his glass in his hands, not wanting to address the very large elephants in the room.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HCdMGzAsg
"You know that you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later," I insist.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ834meoExZ5
"How about later?" he suggests as he looks at the beautifully designed green carpet spread out across the living room floor. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDi1E6nWV8
"Kwamé."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoh5SsQfwS
"What?" he asks.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLNP7rDkUt
"Talk to me. Please."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFcXrSeJy5
He looks down and sighs heavily, his grey eyes glued to the floor. "I don't know what to say."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQQY6kQvox
"Let's address the fact that I'm seeing you in human form for the first time," I suggest. At the moment, it is the more intriguing topic. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0NvmCwjim
"Let's not talk about that. I only did it so that I could take care of you."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmmAWZ3p9W
"Kwamé, this is big," I tell him, stating the obvious. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPhaNhls3p
"I know, and I hope it won't happen again. You need some friends."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwFpi1ToEd
"How did you know that I was sick?" I ask, changing the subject. I don't want to talk about my lack of friends right now. It's never bothered me before, so I don't know why it should now. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSph0ckLSMk
"I heard you sniffling and vomiting last night, and this morning, your breathing sounded off."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJN1ogh2nD
"Woah, wait- my breathing?" I ask, about an octave higher that my normal pitch. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmmqQqCc8n
"Yeah, I hear things better than humans."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmvWkiqdRA
"So you heard our conversation last night?"681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMq3kCFdzd
"I could hear you talking, but I wasn't listening to the words. I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to give you privacy."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuklEURS6xx
"How kind of you," I say, surprised by his behaviour. Then again, I don't really know him, do I? Where it me, I would probably eavesdrop. No, I would definitely eavesdrop. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o8kc29HpU
"Well, while I am inquisitive, I do have my limits."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iNXb2V03e
"Well, that's good to know."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5E9W5NjPO
We sit in silence for a few moments, before he clears his throat.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrpfAz14uu
"So, I have a story for you."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGkQfY0xel
Finally.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HGhuE4yRG
I place the now empty soup bowl on the coffee table, and look at him, sitting in the chair opposite me. He mimics my actions with his glass. I wait for him to begin. For a moment, I don't think that he'll tell me. However, something in my eyes must encourage him, because I see it in his eyes the second that he makes his decision.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWtZSAp7dN
He laughs without humour, and then exhales deeply.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmqmXmB3zb
"I was born on Saturday, July 7, 1677, to a slave mother and a white, plantation owner father. My father decided to keep me as a member of the household - not quite a son - instead of as a slave. I guess he couldn't stand the idea of having a member of his bloodline working in a field or as a house slave. He treated me with ambivalence; for my whole life, he was, at best, merely tolerant of me. The only person who ever showed me true love was my mother. When I was nineteen, my father died. He had no close relatives, but rather than let his father's plantation go to the government, he left it to his bastard half-breed son. That is all he ever saw me as, anyway." He stops to take a deep breath before continuing his story. "I, however, was overcome with the power rush of actually owning something for once in my life. He wrote it in his will to ensure my freedom, so that no one would try to take advantage of me, force me into slavery. I mistook my father's actions for love, and I forsook those who did love me. My mother, brothers, my sister, and all the other slaves... I didn't abuse them, but I'd be lying if I said that the power didn't get to my head. The problem isn't with what I did, though... It's with what I didn't do. I didn't free them."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zIBppOalU
"So when you died...?" I ask, trailing off. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xkAZC8kVn
"I died at age twenty six, a few days before my twenty seventh birthday. Pneumonia."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCy5yvtNUb4
"Your mother?" I push, although I can take a pretty good guess as to what happened. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wMcPhG7yo
"I didn't write a will, and I had no heirs, so when I died, she remained a slave, and the plantation went to the government. I could have helped her, helped them, helped all of them... but I was so damn selfish."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zGEtWaIwB
Damn. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnQqKhJmm1
"So, you see, I'm a monster," he tells me with a painful smile on his face. I can see the hurt and anger deep in his eyes. Anger directed inwards, at himself. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBNNuotdn9
"No, you're not," I reassure him. "Formerly an asshole, maybe. But from what I've seen, you're not a monster."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCp6X6mmfuc
"So why have I been damned to this for eternity?" Despise the obvious feelings that can be read on his face, his voice is monotonous, devoid of any emotion. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCAs5FXGji
He has a good point.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaKn8o1ByP
"Maybe, it is you," I tell him. "Maybe, it's a result of the way that you saw yourself when you were dying. How did you feel? What did you feel?" I ask him.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD8NVERlSI
He looks into my eyes, and then looks down, biting his lip, before letting out a huge sigh.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXu47JSecG
"Regret. Regret and self-loathing. I hated myself for not loving my family while I was alive. I called for a lawyer to get my will in place, but when he arrived, I was too far gone."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEef9KgOjS7
Can you ever... move on?" I ask him.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu2CNZE9LQ
He chuckles softly.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx30OEBt1fV
"No. I'm stuck like this forever."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TtSOZn3A0
"If you can be human, why is it so bad?"681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLZnVeu78S
"Because we always want to go back to being an animal. There's always that urge to be what you're meant to be- a murderous bull."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60NN2XvgnM
"Murderous?"681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4XEU7V508
"Yes. It makes you angry. Makes you want to kill, feed off of the fear of others, feel some kind of power and control when you've been powerless for so long." While he's talking, he stared into my eyes with great determination - trying to convince me that he is a monster.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLAIn7ppXH
"Have you ever done that?"681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckmuKjm63B
"Once. He was my enemy."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPU3DBxzbn
"Oh."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN10Nff62G
I can tell that there's more to the story, but he leaves it at that, probably in an attempt to scare me.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwfgIylvbG
"I like you, Kwamé," I tell him. "And you don't scare me."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdJtwIaMgV
"I should."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgIVKiFJSg
"But you don't." Truthfully, I see no reason to fear him. He thinks he's worse than he really is. Consumed by guilt, he's become this person filled with self hatred and self loathing, convinced that he's an evil entity.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC9yOQsx8O
I don't believe that that is true. He needs to give himself another chance.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyw2N0mCxn5
But if I am to tell him that... then I also need to be forgiving. I need to give my mother another chance.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7zEbfRkH4
"Tell you what - how about we both learn forgiveness? You try to forgive yourself, and I try to forgive my mother. Starting now."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2fRZ9kB9o
"You'll give her another chance?" he asks hopefully. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxU2NbyjfEh
"If you do the same for yourself. I'll meet with her soon."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFPKTZoWJx
Looking rather torn, he looks into my eyes as if searching deep into my soul for an alternative. When he finds none, he lets out a deep sigh.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdwvlJjlfd
"Fine. But I'm only doing this for your mother."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNqOdEIaSd
I show my gratitude with a large smile stretching from ear to ear. As I look at him sitting there, unsure as ever, I know that I won't regret this decision. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7liyFCweVL
***681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUyP6Rqts4
School has become one of the most boring, mundane things that I have ever experienced. Perhaps it's due to the supernatural that has filled my life in every other aspect. Still, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate in lab sessions, which is never a good thing. Today, though... today, I have a plan. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH7IWH2A3W
After sneaking past a sleeping Kwamé laying on my couch - I didn't even know that he slept - I planned on going to do some research. The main library hosts an extensive collection of books, some of which must be on Jamaican folklore. I came up with this plan the last time I spoke to Kwamé, actually. I decided that I would try to find out as much as possible on the topic. However, as we all know, things don't always turn out the way we want. Or that's what I'm hearing now, since I've never had this problem before. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfs63OjrpcG
"No ID, no entrance," the guard outside of the library says to me. The fact that I'm sick only makes me more irritable. I don't know if she can tell I that I'm seething, but she leans back in her seat, moving away from me. Of course, I would have to leave my ID at home today of all days. Of course.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeVErxqMBS
"Look, I'll give you my ID number," I try to bargain, sniffling a few times. "620114-"681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQK9UuYHjaz
"No," she insists, "I need the actual ID."681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOOK1DiGyx
So of course, my brilliant plan falls through.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxyiBASn7o
Instead of having a library of books available to me, all I have is the internet. Which is still pretty good. Sitting on the library steps in my oversized sweater, I pull out my iPad and type in Rolling Calf in the search engine... only to find nothing, because unsurprisingly, the WiFi is being a bitch and a half. I grind my teeth so hard, it feels as if they could crush diamonds. Exhaling steadily, I agree with myself that I will continue my search once I get home.681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci3mTGk0jw
This seamed like a better idea in my head, because once I reach home, and into my room with Kwamé in the shower outside (not the en suite one) the only things that pop up are things that I already know. Some of it I suspect to be utter rubbish, for example, throwing things on the ground for a rolling calf to count, and then running away. I can hardly imagine Kwamé stopping to count rice grains while his "victim" escapes, or getting confused at an intersection*. In terms of the river mumma, I knew this already, except for one small detail:681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8Jy0EfiZu
During the times of slavery, sacrifices would be made to the river mumma during a drought, or when someone wanted to cross the river. The fish in that area would not be eaten, because they were thought to be her children. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zVeakHpIe
Paraphrasing a bit, but that's basically what it says. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGlHWpDtGP
I was aware of the part where the fish were her children, but the rest sounds like utter bullcrap. Then again, isn't anything possible at this point in time? 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRThkyEi8hg
Duppies: been there, done that. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy904hPj1fH
However, there's one thing there that I don't hear about every day, even though I know about it: Ol' Higue. Ol' Higue... I remember read a poem about her for my CSEC* Literature exam. The creature is an old witch who sheds her skin and takes the form of what some say to be an owl, and what others say to be a ball of light - personally, I think that owl is more plausible, but who the hell knows anymore - and preys on people in their sleep, especially babies. Kind of like a vampire. If salt is placed on her skin she will not be able to put it back on, which will make her vulnerable. If you throw rice on the ground - why are we so obsessed with rice? - she will have to count it. This was thought to be an explanation to grieving mothers for SIDS, but knowing what I know now, it's probably true. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFP44s6BCD
But none of this helps me, since I already know most of it. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94JucRYfEz
Sighing, I go to my bookshelf and pull out my "World of Poetry" book to look for clues. I sit and skim through the poems, some of which I was assigned. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkUWfR2AjX
"Ol' Higue... 'Le loupgarou'..." I stop dead when I spot a poem that I've never read before. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJ0x6jbCEC
My Mother's Sea Chanty. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GVxZPJSLd
It's a poem about a woman who's mother is a mermaid... in the sea. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvvBhPMf7c
With a huff of frustration, I slam the book closed. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPratfdVLlE
Deciding to take a different approach, I research Obeah spells, abandoning my quest to explain Kwamé for the time being. It is rather odd to be researching something that scares the crap out of you, just for the sake of understanding yourself. In a way, it kind of means that you're scared of yourself. Depressing, really. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB3HRo6HK7
I come across an anti bad luck charm, something that I might need soon if I continue on this trajectory. It looks too simple, though, reminding me of a Harry Potter spell, like "Expecto Patronum". Still, I screenshot it, and continue my search. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIvFHK1m0t
It is then that I find something that is rather frightening. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDDB7ojs6X
I come across a website that offers obeah spells, and says that payment is not needed until results are seen. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo0Bwiq1qU
Now although I have always believed in obeah, I also know that many people who claim to perform "obeah" are scammers, preying on uneducated families with children who have mental illnesses or seizure disorders. It is a common misconception among many Jamaicans that seizures are caused by demon possession. But this... this is as real as it can possibly get. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8jhnDAxY9
Quickly, I exit the website, as if something is going to jump out the screen at me. I'm frightened, I can't deny it. If I did, my pulse rate and breathing would definitely give me away. But other than fear, there's something else... 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2oxziHT3A
Excitement. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoQznhgN4V
Oh dear God, Nya. You're in for a rough ride, aren't you?681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ396e3fuVRR
And for once, I completely agree with my inner voice, no indecisiveness, just acceptance. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxMJWFIfHp
***681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZLDQygVnB
A/N681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeDPVhPXlK
681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBarh6vUkN
I actually found a website that said that 😅681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGCzI7Gk7k
Also, the thing about an intersection: supposedly, if you go to an intersection, the rolling calf will get confused. They are also afraid of being beaten by a whip (some say specifically a tarred whip in the left hand). They supposedly carry a chain and / or a bell, so you can hear them approaching, but I didn't want Kwamé to have that. 681Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUEZ8IDrYC
*CSEC: Caribbean Secondary Examination Certificate.
ns18.191.35.15da2
