A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSEHvONTLH
-:-854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQS7uMXxshg
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tsjQuooWv
CHARACTERS854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbSWQ7RoNQ
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpXQx4IUJK
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdepwIW8Pq
--854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSKGMrwdwJ
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuEH6HYy26
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQapVcuDcy
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRpT0mLeEs
We don’t have much time.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmYKVisSVq
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTzHotxHUE
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUTL4O0JiL
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnI3wgkUte
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOUY5F7Q8z
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjN1RoqIot
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYYbnQfEuv
I understand you’re upset - 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEIxYLfXXI
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJMne6qRof
I damn well am! 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Qv64EbX5p
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Uis42c0fp
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ275cD6ZUdO
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10B8YjMkJy
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMcGITpXjw
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyLEee2QZG
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeZ1Z1ShvT
(slowly)854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtjwPZECk8
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tjowKJqsW
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jnS5Ma6uj
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ8Dg22q6n
What?854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlJJAu2G4R
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbj134H31l
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbw7y1qTmp
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWIvuSLxqG
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvonzaUWM4q
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVqWAYzX03
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cxy3hPCix
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLktK0g89l
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ2ZefowXP
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1kJTElQsX
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBTS1xbXoG
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjr4GkaeuG
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50uQTyzhEe
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzRaWC3YaG
That may be the case, but look at this.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc7GgFbAcG
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pd0XNp4hG
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQZKq5qbLR
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z0y3g1YG6
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpFlRIFK2X
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDXYpZEycO
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUSfH4Isxu
(grimly)854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYT2cCx6j3
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzNmTpQlM3
CECIL854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHnpYxyETt
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oCnMO7tA9
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwoJGzFG22
XIUYING854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wsoN2b35N
Who said anything about paying them off?854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthEaXDTDNh
--854Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2ZPEHYUSN
