A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQL5dmN4XE
-:-830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RU851iaxe
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGC6FGvKDMP
CHARACTERS830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VlxAs2KmL
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelNDBh3tB8
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k67BHnCLj
--830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRgojAd0wx
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUdoM5VW6E
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaLIjPDaKL
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVv01bCRl0v
We don’t have much time.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyGLpdUYE5
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLzHYfAJxg
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5SvKSTqfC
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhOGQ2h6mI
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcE22RNUSsI
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Lw8iqrN1T
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtdm0Wt8U4
I understand you’re upset - 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAr5dWBQ3Om
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxc1nWsGbz
I damn well am! 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORDl7ZIKMT
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZYUtKGv4c
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpcvFb8wJK
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznlyFmBUyU
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoYD6ffFOj
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSTu0ujgiu
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Rqsr6DNaw
(slowly)830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05Bl2Ud9Eq
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9sWX4sp6D
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ7aHi3I0a
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7z1hzkwxo
What?830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9fbeq5SwW
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneX6uha1sC
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ2wNi7u2d
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjaREJN19k
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcS4Ho5NKfu
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMweqA313A
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAmStOhzMm
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSQOnaupkU
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzWT2LZflC
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNafkyBSyI
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIe0G6s8iP
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UPjtpZ7QR
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvYbyVqSxq
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp3YJZWnmp
That may be the case, but look at this.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg9qjQ7NAS
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUg7Fdkt6fB
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYjrqfJrB4
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm21yQLng2X
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡat35g6pumd
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE00EYQ0Jvk
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUvPH1b5sz
(grimly)830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3hqmLfLLQ
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwzuh5wk8D
CECIL830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoT4iI2z4A
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53SRK2Pzsg
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCGAhO5GaU
XIUYING830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCvCSSU3lW
Who said anything about paying them off?830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJQ9m5HSqE
--830Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJhBdX6SYu
