你好,我是莊坌但。312Please respect copyright.PENANAhsirTYitPu
312Please respect copyright.PENANATcEWrxl0dG
等等,你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來,然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊?312Please respect copyright.PENANA0zfmuI3XEC
312Please respect copyright.PENANA2BD3UpbnFQ
對,我也覺得這名字很白痴,尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子,終於在我一歲整時,去找個算命師特別算出來的名字,據說是九五之尊的好名字。312Please respect copyright.PENANABafIZsBJ9k
312Please respect copyright.PENANAJrXFoBzzxG
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字,九五個屁。312Please respect copyright.PENANACpPt4ecMxW
312Please respect copyright.PENANARUT5rQNT0J
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時,那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。312Please respect copyright.PENANAzdD77SMh17
312Please respect copyright.PENANAQgFXUbYOsl
媽的,在我面前被抄掉耶。312Please respect copyright.PENANAZgjashhBgK
312Please respect copyright.PENANAUl4EoI0yuK
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷,不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。312Please respect copyright.PENANAeTuRsiNsxs
312Please respect copyright.PENANAsMy1NgSu2x
更別說每次的自我介紹了,那簡直是地獄。312Please respect copyright.PENANA3KwSQMYcoq
312Please respect copyright.PENANApyc9GsXSXB
「大家好,我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭,不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉,那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。312Please respect copyright.PENANASwshh5a30B
312Please respect copyright.PENANAegeg5Sjc9e
小學一年級,同學看不懂我的名字,還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。312Please respect copyright.PENANAGGfiREMVI9
312Please respect copyright.PENANASuAft4nLb1
到了小學六年級,那真的很恐怖。312Please respect copyright.PENANAibKfWChwJM
312Please respect copyright.PENANArwldLRlPLo
「喂,那叫莊什麼但?」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學,轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。312Please respect copyright.PENANAInS5R46abg
312Please respect copyright.PENANALCXVcm9nog
「坌,念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。312Please respect copyright.PENANAa8vJ4DQsvH
312Please respect copyright.PENANAfMIfsXpfZv
全班開始爆笑,我只能站在台上傻笑,一直笑,不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。312Please respect copyright.PENANALeZx6KzKZV
312Please respect copyright.PENANAY8wrPzFhS9
請把這個畫面重播,這也是我國高中自我介紹時,所發生的慘劇。312Please respect copyright.PENANAqLRbZQYlzq
312Please respect copyright.PENANAeNyZdxAoAc
而我的綽號,也一路走來,始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。312Please respect copyright.PENANAMc88Dj5dh2
312Please respect copyright.PENANAERO2TjavVx
大學聯誼時,我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。312Please respect copyright.PENANAWsJvE78ubq
312Please respect copyright.PENANASzGXl8xjIS
「你好,我是……」312Please respect copyright.PENANAw30bcEzTxD
312Please respect copyright.PENANAkt30tOI5jk
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔!超厲害的對不對?坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌,但就是但是的那個但,所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔,超屌的對不對?」312Please respect copyright.PENANAyxXEHFjYaS
312Please respect copyright.PENANAA4s8EXPHaf
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁!312Please respect copyright.PENANATER6cLqm10
312Please respect copyright.PENANAQwAOqIMCC6
我就只能傻愣愣的笑,然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。312Please respect copyright.PENANAGFiTYtZvvA
312Please respect copyright.PENANA5fdLn0dmmJ
偏偏,我的長相比普通還普通,也沒有有錢的老爸,更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好,所以我一直沒有女朋友。312Please respect copyright.PENANA5G7AXePPTi
312Please respect copyright.PENANAtVtHIJBF7z
畢竟,誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧?312Please respect copyright.PENANAohY0QNXQFB
312Please respect copyright.PENANAuIuKLyL0By
再說說我的人生吧,這名字絕對是個詛咒!312Please respect copyright.PENANAT97PQeDeoe
312Please respect copyright.PENANAfLiRUKolK5
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢,更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level!312Please respect copyright.PENANA2LHXtkH7Rn
312Please respect copyright.PENANAJIPRqHlLoC
此時你一定會想,抵抗力提升有啥不好?312Please respect copyright.PENANANaRQFtxLZe
312Please respect copyright.PENANAw8bgT1qsht
不好啊非常的不好啊!312Please respect copyright.PENANAAAFNXZ30sL
312Please respect copyright.PENANAmGhaHVugln
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友,我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。312Please respect copyright.PENANA8nrhwMk1Jo
312Please respect copyright.PENANARBgU747XcT
而體育老師的規定,只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加,前提是,他會陪著你去保健室。312Please respect copyright.PENANA4MKseNUkKT
312Please respect copyright.PENANAGGaFXLbVRJ
但是,就算測體適能前一天,我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦,只要一覺醒來,我就能夠用鼻子呼吸,然後痰也會自動消失,肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒!312Please respect copyright.PENANAHq6EnqO7wd
312Please respect copyright.PENANAx8REbQfLf6
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字,接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。312Please respect copyright.PENANAqZHYbAlBnS
312Please respect copyright.PENANAA6NGj6VETS
出了社會,總是得找份工作。312Please respect copyright.PENANAiXfyvlqa40
312Please respect copyright.PENANAAklfJUL7pp
我自己買了台50CC通勤。312Please respect copyright.PENANAPcjryCIC3L
312Please respect copyright.PENANAh588WWxQBj
但我想它跟我一樣,體弱多病。312Please respect copyright.PENANAK5nrhlyVoZ
312Please respect copyright.PENANAu9Cm237EGt
常常停個紅燈後,它就不想動了,所以我得一個月去車行一次,不然我就只能走路去上班。312Please respect copyright.PENANAl2jXvLTjtr
312Please respect copyright.PENANAWmu5y5Sm9u
而且我想,它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。312Please respect copyright.PENANAQXkltu1FYN
312Please respect copyright.PENANA0S1xSqQEim
「坌但我今天坐公車來,等等載我回家喔。」312Please respect copyright.PENANA01Fjt3NLCB
312Please respect copyright.PENANAM4m7A3vcpK
「喔,不過我的50CC很爛,有可能一半就掛了喔。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAsxsquOLnzP
312Please respect copyright.PENANAbUDbDDSn7U
「哎呀,沒差啦,真的掛了再說。」312Please respect copyright.PENANAvtkYwh6cU9
312Please respect copyright.PENANAiYoaTwdJjI
然後,我很順利的將同事載回去,而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。312Please respect copyright.PENANAovxUwxCqgC
312Please respect copyright.PENANAbJjX9YdBEy
「沒很爛啊,聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。312Please respect copyright.PENANA6Ka8060ib8
312Please respect copyright.PENANAyBmYqVkugB
我發動50CC,然後同事關門。312Please respect copyright.PENANA8Qbrsa2JRL
312Please respect copyright.PENANAFcJsnrWT7A
它熄火,我傻眼。312Please respect copyright.PENANAdMvEOX1CiY
312Please respect copyright.PENANAvTpFDwUx0Y
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條,所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家,一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。312Please respect copyright.PENANAUYsuAnNU5u
312Please respect copyright.PENANALRvxhuFc5Q
當然,出了社會還是沒有女朋友。312Please respect copyright.PENANAfNlh35QlQA
312Please respect copyright.PENANASS19HImWuD
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。312Please respect copyright.PENANAAGFEVvQW3P
312Please respect copyright.PENANAUfAaMa2hjj
但叫坌但又不是我的錯!312Please respect copyright.PENANAAoGIQ4ssYw
312Please respect copyright.PENANAbuPaBsPIiH
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了,隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉,偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到,以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。312Please respect copyright.PENANAqyfhIPo3P0
312Please respect copyright.PENANAxpIaiHUYwN
我打開筆電,百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫,也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣,開個後宮吧?312Please respect copyright.PENANAxOOCu4XCp1
312Please respect copyright.PENANAxTh35vgG7p
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了,想到這裡,我竟然不自禁的笑了出來,笑到眼淚都飆了出來。312Please respect copyright.PENANACjCDx3CzfL
312Please respect copyright.PENANAHCynuKiWi6
混帳,一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊!312Please respect copyright.PENANAAjvGXzASqx