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Lena sat beside me in class today.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCscJi4PSR
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She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”
I said, “Yeah, just tired.”153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcSCDjXeFl
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She smiled like that was enough.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv661YGwjap
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I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.
It worked. It always does.
Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡds0q39MAMt
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Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.
I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRg2a6T31wo
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Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.
I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvjz2wa6CO
153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzDaD2iUhJ
I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sZtgOAGv9
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But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.
It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwBQxMvkU3
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I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo1F1IfHAU
153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlV7qKex9h
Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,
153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCdjDkhTMO“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmL8bQG7cUC
But no one ever does.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5P4rUst7gC
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They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.
And I don’t blame them.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I5iIM3wxy
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I’ve made it easy.
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I left my journal open on purpose this time.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK5BvVCrz6
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Page bookmarked.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijvAe9Ecz9
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Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:
153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjArx5JkByk“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3DZHeMpl7
I didn’t lock my room when I left.153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwVzHYI8Jb
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I just want to see who actually comes looking.
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Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start
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Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]
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