Sometimes you have to make a decision, that will hurt your heart but heal your soul...
~Karma
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Ariana
I am twisting and turning in my bed, trying to fall asleep. My head hurts from all the toxicity of the day as it continues to recap Will's inhumanity and blatant disregard for me.
It's raining outside, with lightning crackling against the prudent sky every few minutes. I want to run to soak myself in the rain so that the horrible pain in my head will go away.
But I don't move. I can't move. I feel like I'm stuck in time, repeating one thought over and over till it bites at me and poisons me internally.
It's daunting to be in a room alone at night, with only your wolf for company. My wolf has hidden herself in the cracks of my memory, where she spends her time going through the memories that Will and I shared. She's confused, not understanding why he chose Andria over us.
I can feel her whimper loudly in my head as she lets out a wolfish cry. She's in pain, not just emotionally but physically as well. She had never fully recovered from all the emotional neglect that our father had put us through, but her recovery has slowed down even further from what had just taken place a few hours ago.
I wish I could help her, but I can't. Not with trembling hands and poofy eyes. That I'd gotten from all the crying that I had done. I wish now that I could be our strength instead of our weakness.
My wolf lets out a menacing howl in my head, causing my head to splinter in pain as she angers over my self-deprecation. I want to howl back at her for being so selfish. I get she's upset, but that doesn't mean I am not allowed to sulk as well.
We lay bantering over each other as we argue who's right and wrong for being upset. I almost forget the tragedies of the day until reality comes crashing back, causing me to climb out of my bed in anger.
I finally had enough of the silent torture of not knowing why Will left me for Andria on the day that he had promised to tell the world that I was his mate. It couldn't have all been a lie, could it?
I stomp outside in nothing but my chemise, finding it easier to go through the rain than the dark hallways of the palace. They reminded me too much of Will and our dark meetings, where his hands touched my bare skin.
I shiver internally, disgusted by how easy it had been for him to get to me. I had never thought that I would turn so desperate when it came to being loved.
But I had, and it was a mistake. Love is a mistake, a cruel lie written by some old merchant who had nothing better to do than write lies. When the man who was supposed to be my faith mate, decided to choose a mate instead of having me.
I'm in the palace courtyard, my shoes covered in mud from my stomping on the wet grass as the rain pelts down on me. It's cold. I should feel cold, but I don't, not when anger warms my veins and fury sends my heart a blaze.
I need answers. Answers for things that have gone wrong today.
I near the second entrance to the palace, where I spot Will leaning against a wall, his shirt drenched in water, showcasing the hard muscles underneath.
The droplets of water rolled off his forehead in what should've been a deliciously enticing manner if his hands weren't around Andria's neck as he pulled her closer, making her let out a loud giggle as his lips lightly brushed against hers.
They part for a brief moment before Andria pulls Will back towards her, her fingers weaving through his curls as she pushes her lips against his, making my stomach roll in disgust as my chest heaves from the sight in front of me.
I try to turn away to give them their privacy, but I can't, not when my heart is breaking for the hundredth time today, and my blood is boiling in my veins.
Like a beast gone crazy, I see red, red when she moans against his lips, red when he nibbles on her lips. The colour blinds me to the point where my anger takes over, making my wolf control me.
If I thought my rage was something, hers is even worse when she extends our claws and lets out a ferocious growl, causing Will and Andria to snap their heads towards me, their eyes filled with confusion as they try registering what is about to happen.
My wolf smirks as Andria's fearful eyes lock with ours, she lets out another growl, a challenge to Andria, causing my panic to increase as I try to take back control from her.
She doesn't let me though, her refusal adamant as she gets into a fighting stance. Andria looks around nervously before meeting Wills's gaze as if pleading for his help but he can't help, not when a female has challenged another female. It is considered to be rude if a male intervenes in a female's challenge as it causes a power unbalance between the challenger and the opponent.
I know she doesn't know how to fight, which causes my wolf to let out a wolfish howl as she takes her fighting stance. Her posture is weak with her arms looking crippled at her sides, it almost makes me want to laugh out loud, but I don't because she still has the upper hand. She can shift into her wolf, whereas I can't. The only thing I have over her is the moves Nathanial taught me.
She still doesn't back down as we circle each other with narrowed eyes and extended claws. It hurts to extend my claws, but I still extend them, my fingers bleeding from where they opened up. I need her to think that I am strong, not weak.
Andria lunges forward, her claws trying to take a slash at my eye as I narrowly miss her by taking a step back. She attacks again, this time with more precision and angst, forcing my body down onto the muddy ground. My vision blurs for a second as I hit the ground, letting Andria pin me down with her legs. I am left gasping when she tries to land a punch on my face, her hand fisted and pale as I catch it with one of mine, leaving her claws painfully close to my eyes. I bring my legs up from underneath her, hitting her shin, leaving her gasping in pain as she's toppled over.
I take the opportunity to pin her down, my claws digging into her shoulders, drawing out blood as she lets out a blood-curdling scream while withering underneath me. I should probably pull them out, but I don't. Her screams almost sound like music to my ears, a sweet gift for all the years of mockery that I have faced, causing me to push them in further to the point that I hear her bones crack from the pressure.
I pull them out. My wolf is proud of the damage it caused as it admires our handy work. It, however, is only a split second of joy when Andria gets a hold of my arms again as she pushes me back, causing my body to smash against the wall behind me. My head taking the most damage as I feel blood trickling down into my chemise.
I am left feeling disorientated as I watch Andria turn into a blur as she shifts into her wolf, my fear spiking as I narrow my eyes at her blurred form. She looks angry, her eyes menacing and dark as she nears me like a predator.
Our eyes lock, making me regret all my decisions. She wants blood. It's clear in the way she rounds me and pounces at me. My head smashes against the wall again, harder than before, making me curse out loud as agony resonates through my skull.
I try getting up, but I can't, not when I feel her canines sink into my shoulder blade, ripping out the skin and fracturing the bone, causing me to let out a pain-curdling scream as her claws sink into my thighs.
My eyes pool with tears as the need to beg for mercy increases, it's only Nate's words that keep me floating.
If he were here, he would've been angry, angry at the fact that I was on the ground, upset with the fact that I was letting her win. He would have screamed at me to get up, yelled to the point where it hurt his lungs, and turned his throat soar.
I try moving away from her as her hold on me tightens, to the point where I have no choice but to drag my claws against her back, soaking her fur in blood. Catching her off guard as she reels backwards, her hold on me loosening to the point where I can grab her front leg with my claws, twisting it in my hold while I shift us so that she's underneath me.
My body cries at the harsh movement, but I don't let it stop me from landing a punch on her face, her wolf letting out a loud whimper at the impact as I land one after another at it, just like the way Nate taught me to.
It only takes a few minutes for my knuckles to get painted red, a beautiful colour that makes the pain worth it.
I hear Andria's ribs cracking under the pressure, making her shift back into her human form, her mouth filled with bile and blood as her eyes fill with a lifeless look. She takes in slow, uneven breaths before whimpering "Please stop. I can't..."
Her plead barely reaches my ears as I continue, wanting to hear her heart slow to the point where it barely beats. I am about to land another punch near her rib cage when I am pulled back by a hand that snakes itself around my neck.
The pressure around my neck increases to the point where I no longer have enough oxygen to breathe in, making me see black dots as my body begins to coil with pain. I struggle in the person's hold, but nothing seems to work as I am spun around and thrown at a wall.
The only thing I hear is my heartbeat, which rings in my ears as I force myself to turn over to look into a pair of dark blue eyes as the world around me fades into an abyss of nothingness...
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