Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCh9m1X9vY
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbduWmpu8kY
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOU9n3S301
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhFNIF8wRE
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmeTNOxviN
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9MpAMksqi
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65G3IOQKj3
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBurp95Llap
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQbfwejXSi
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcFOAI7QFx
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VSQklhVzV
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwxxCFUXe7
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYPO5X9DDC
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kl3KBjs1o
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosphzL8lu7
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oI7IM0H4C
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0B3bsrXje
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCV2ao2gw1
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCEg1UDTcJ
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9IzvLXwCp
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrCDMKvOEh
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaage3wjvFO
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RkzKKn9UQ
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu24OpuMgv
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXELr7ZzzBv
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72GYMMAk8f
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdItBh0WyN
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBhi5BiqGy
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ResPxIoyy
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJPce68xFK
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmq8K7RBPy2
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWUiZYv8DY
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYH6gwdGpqv
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ASqakX6Sk
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wBenZkHKK
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRItXlMB2I
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkFdxxdlaF
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zlGBT5BVd
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3LH6SGz4W
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLuXR7bKYS
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtGPFuzVFK
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6F1fBMILPk
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7bL6pi8cJ
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Wr6KZZd6n
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLZzQFOJje
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2lX5CjBZ0
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU8xjwo6A7
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9Ips6yvfk
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsPYWSVSMU
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuZiY8wYYT
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV54cWLZfuL
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*•*•*•*814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4IOOh2s9r
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81gAbQSg5f
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypwDoCktmM
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZSqWvmqdS
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ymD3E0V8A
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevueOZ8EkZ
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppnGWdJLBQ
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7ZsqajLxR
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvwoEo7YkQ
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡng4UKVEyA1
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfINgMdPjl
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzODYFYXBi5
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnZY8skpU6
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqbmmNUKNf
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMedsHdWCw
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNOKXQXaLR
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBawZDM5U7
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vNMX2ZGAA
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD25oS0zkeR
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA994cmb7R
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiLv7sMLM8
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRBwcBUqh6
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3L2ZGjjSe
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsQrGuURvK
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqNa7B4kvc
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0R1wYvOKt
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk0sHbRzeo
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9MoGkncf5
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMKx0HPyw0
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52W6etGzfu
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciQFfZaZVe
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡollWFCgcZ8
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOw1kiFi7v
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL40KRe9M7h
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGzgeSsmDs
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMupjcphmH
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqW0xKSjar5
"It won't be painful—"814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡka1pd4qhmY
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAqUToFeHB
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0N1LguGflm
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQRqPOzbF7
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHa1l1ncWJ
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeWg4CFaQK
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPv2FLbSxE
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTfkgOqlTN
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkR5cQTcgZ
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudTZdHzE24
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKRPEfLJMy
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqAwpguv5z
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXjoUpNSSd
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8Oh18j8m0
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1YzWOGEjH
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNoX0uj7A4
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVXCL85I2X
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYjV5iOV3y
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqsk8ZsSY5
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOPUqHrxoh
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcHWbtixrU
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvpc55OVFC
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtwpSU5kNg
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jaLENbZaB
This is it.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpI5y3Xmt3P
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwn1OAFUtJ
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr38XF7VcZ4
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTrX9az1Cz
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7TVlVA5YN
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN8LQ1mayZ
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFr66s3T4r
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWb5cm18iC
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdX9YKC9WNM
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqOhu0RSN1
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0yOFhsMUt
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AGGao1OnQ
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQp1p1iHQG
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKdjOuPG2q
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABueflaAM5
I freeze.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGFUiXp3XL
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2m4tN7Eb1J
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3U3N00Exeo
Then I breathe.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKbRCDFXr5
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzQ9BzbETh
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVGufHACUw
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSssbh4wGZy
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGHkXwH9Pj
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSxl9bKA1b
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrZm9xQIvY
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLZR5nO6DT
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEHDgutYGM
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxcwvnSjwR
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6BD9mSmqa
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOVcdRm2cM
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTjnBu8lLo
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdntFBzjK0
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRN2JTemoe
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuX1rV67mtt
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUCVsMIGap
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2AJfBEOPz
Something isn't right.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcrnVe2eA2
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CiUQAPZA6
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFIR2duLpA
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KeaonwnAX
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosisomw5w6
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zHRju2TmE
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrF9VD90Xhi
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSR75HbixaL
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYffMG92nD
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3niXZQQSHA
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6nX1cJ5MC
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2stU0xPYnY
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ9FohJ0yI
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NEVveKqTU
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwPDIhizeI
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAexlp2nkqf
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxpwqZ0MAS
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPKFrIBSDc
His lips twitch. 814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d32hRClbF
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNNuaxfJfx
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiT3y6cfBq
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsTSPTow3E
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcYzVZ6dWl
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7F7KFybdT
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4NlV6DY2J
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkAakiiGBL
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEydDsRi9w
"Okay so what do I have?"814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaP0m1Y2gr
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwEXoY5wFV
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rXwJjyvo7
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7GABwVjXB
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo07kOVJUZi
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQe8XN8u10O
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31TXg4C1ib
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyLJz0uhcS
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnwYm2tJkP
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2U7H0RGbx
814Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzvS5bCRQh
