Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmGKDqxidM
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2y4gsd6ALq
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKt82KebhOC
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUIREHFKGH
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7bWqyxt8g
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlNBEqVlYs
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4wWIIij24
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Q6gkAeKiO
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb66QOQ4WRS
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6MRjQMsZT
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChqnkYtNuy
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyKR25GQRi
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNK1PRjJKp
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z6Dr0CT6w
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3ScpA9rlr
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZRdgjs8U8
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClVQQkDacd
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBAKgRXEcF
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0V4MpJDKh
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnBjIdbc1e
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PFmrtofs7
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONyxa3CCh5
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFkYO7nW5B
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1djUNVXPM
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyiVrsmPaw
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDNZ9ySuEl
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENkFGATJMu
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyyqI1BDDj
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eSfmwcM2U
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHW4DALJg0d
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5XA11zlSm
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvJWGKkyNX
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KNo1D3LUU
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEveu6Sp7yv
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JJcF61dY7
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr5967orxD
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM05SYYzCl
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFbGLZbVOL
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EaslaPics
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXYE7PZ1Zw
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Gg7x9GSPh
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOi2ospVqV
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuRlbzJ20V
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5BPP8WZbu
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2erWlrQva2
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcrwSI7gtE
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ84ONIR7hO
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6a1l0NKzf
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUW3ePNHoh
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6y3FD8GI78
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNFAv1bB4t
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOTBXUIG2M
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEqypvoMKu
*•*•*•*821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhetSNp367k
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGyxeqVjW4
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUmg9Nrv31
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3rbdRez3J
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1AQNqvTEZ
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv1dgjL446
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYLmCq4ps5
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcqHzDOQn6
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbxsouSLbr
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsSXioPT1F
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO90kQI7gqX
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75k13OdiC3
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpGiCLmKKr
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfrFuUgIea
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopHPuJmqkQ
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6Ar6Iw032
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnCV02TpxU
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXW2rcj0DQs
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4J8Zk2Tyq
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH62FK4FNL
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9N8616rx8u
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9F2C9KubG
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOv7vReEe8F
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NyAWnfK6y
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8M26YOOtg
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2MWpXpAiv
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8TFm5poRS
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFGe7efcSH
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl53VgTuHwK
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv8HQbWdo1
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8DoPKYt1F
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIfriYiEXj
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LmbtBWswI
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygmnuE7d0x
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6odXEGHEhx
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0koD0wzCHL
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnuWLYGuOg
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53XEgAfaaT
"It won't be painful—"821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttB8C675cb
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsabebVb1J
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25BTfbLWts
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeag639eVlm
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdk6f2VzEO
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2AvZgmLS3
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1D6SN6Bj5
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EzBvqn0iQ
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAJg6h85UN
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDA4HXXaN6
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlx4tHopuh9
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ986L0Gy5j2
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewkSfqkorM
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIMFJmoZ43
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrI5ZI1Ran
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGFwIkm9fL
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuImaA5Uqs
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv8T4Zv3cY
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX24hwXY2m
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8rOfJZGSS
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRZJHczeJH
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRBlK1X2Fp
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XCqNgZ6Ee
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiny0u0FJ48
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYrb09J4R4
This is it.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtbRBFQsDM
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrE8XhO8ydS
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7sGuiZY8P
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTreEyiDff
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToWHVRu55g
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCYWkwFnFl
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzU84O6Uyh5
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXocdjMNTbt
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRcUSzTZkX
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GpafmG1Ed
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh0e7wWgUs
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3yxxmgbT3
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEACOgXU4M
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLfwHUtttt
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDBy1kpocf
I freeze.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lyN06ykev
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNjd17wSdT
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRchBjWERrE
Then I breathe.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr3pvPJya7
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iaIRf72BH
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgzafMb1Lr
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfund6dFEZx
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Vcga3z82N
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQ6cMUTDs9
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVTtdHcRq9
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6GtckH8L4
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5QNR6EngF
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiHUFFev6S
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEpfHg1yTW
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgURPdoZk9e
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvLtr2NJdQ
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjenc5jbSnq
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMTOMzaaAw
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbWqB40bdx
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGBp10aZvS
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVTURiXowS
Something isn't right.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLzhsQdQNa
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkdXmJG7rh
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZgYCANoPb
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohbDwrLg8R
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRffaOnU4N
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqJutqGkbU
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvftuM1nQ7
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDEj20RJ84
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXYy6xZRkb
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6LB3ml65E
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexFRXvwhqD
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52WXK7bU8m
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVRO3LQo8w
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdP5Z8XB2tp
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0Ya6TeCYn
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5jOdQUYLX
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVSZBa5iFA
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kB5meu5V7
His lips twitch. 821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAN4wV4Kqb
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAL5KbCabOO
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53SKCTkVzd
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIWTq87VeF
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6f8wiJulI
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDpyukPnMO
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFUZhQiQRd
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvP0FSeqqVn
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSWkGTIOMx
"Okay so what do I have?"821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z5BnLzS9t
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaetOlovZZ
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6b0TOS32K
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tfKOVrdLR
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnD1lvfg0al
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHuuV6Eue0
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeck2gK4RX
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6zX2mtYhg
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxvDx6Y1hN
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6Ypk9U4Wl
821Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzSO48RYRE
