(井川視角)
我和藤原今天正式的成為了「橘色顏料」的員工,我感到開心,畢竟這樣我就可以每天領點薪水回家,應該就不會被打了。98Please respect copyright.PENANAQUx320YwNz
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於是我雀躍的快步回家,發現父親躺在沙發上,應該是又喝暈了。98Please respect copyright.PENANAYzaKbc11J4
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結果我又不小心踢到了酒瓶,但父親卻沒有起來,我過去查看,發現他的嘴巴歪了一邊,然後嘴巴喃喃自語的不曉得在唸什麼。98Please respect copyright.PENANAkFxIQyYT6G
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我一看大概就知道是中風了,我趕快拿起家裡的電話,正要打給救護車時,心裡產生了一個念頭:如果父親現在就這樣走了,我是不是就不用活得那麼辛苦了?98Please respect copyright.PENANAgmbLuthN3a
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還好這念頭很快就消散了,我撥打了119,大致告訴醫療人員父親的狀況和家裡的地址,之後救護車就來了。98Please respect copyright.PENANA8gvqZIkDgD
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我沒有打算跟著去醫院的意思,畢竟我還有功課要寫,趁這個機會趕快把功課寫完。
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因為我打算趁著禮拜六趕完作業,免得父親禮拜日出院回家,所以我將假日的作業一口氣寫完了,寫完時已經接近傍晚。98Please respect copyright.PENANAN4wgGm4Ysx
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不幸的是,沒想到父親今天就回來了,他一回家看到我就對我大吼:「我在醫院時你都不用來照顧我喔!你這個不孝女!」說完準備去拿鐵棍。98Please respect copyright.PENANA7w9djq8YVH
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說實話,中風有好的那麼快嗎?為什麼他那麼快就回家了?
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但我當下害怕極了,惶恐的奪門而出,跑到家裡附近的巷子,坐在熟悉的電線桿下。98Please respect copyright.PENANAbQs4Za6sVx
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大概坐了1個小時左右後,天色漸漸暗了,一個熟悉的人走了過來。98Please respect copyright.PENANAGlizUGh9OO
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是藤原,他用相當疑惑的表情看了看我,問道:「你在這裡做什麼?」98Please respect copyright.PENANACI7jXG5rIa
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我並不想讓他知道我家裡的狀況,不然就會像在國中一樣被嘲笑、被冷落。98Please respect copyright.PENANAIhrEuIstDO
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於是我回答:「我只是在測試我能不能在骯髒的巷子口睡著而已。」98Please respect copyright.PENANAFubKsRot18
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我講完後他緊皺眉頭,我當下想說完了,這種鬼話誰會信啊,結果他只回了一句:「你加油。」然後就走掉了。98Please respect copyright.PENANAQDlP242qZ4
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天啊,我一定被當成怪人了,我平常有表現的那麼怪嗎?讓他會相信這種鬼扯出來的話,但至少是矇混過去了。98Please respect copyright.PENANA2ntv6xUgHv
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結果過了30分鐘,他拿了一張大紙板回來,「地板很髒,拿這個墊吧。」98Please respect copyright.PENANA6UNY420AZj
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藤原伸手把我拉起來,他的手掌意外的冰冷,藤原幫我把紙板鋪好,我內心很是感動,但也有點不知所措,為什麼突然對我那麼好?98Please respect copyright.PENANAB9e5mRnnwz
98Please respect copyright.PENANA8HXGyegdUJ
我坐在紙板上,他遞給了我一瓶水和一碗已經泡好的泡麵後說道:「抱歉最近想存錢,只能買點便宜的給妳吃。」他說話不知道為何有個習慣是都不直視他人的眼睛,感覺很像是在逃避些什麼。98Please respect copyright.PENANAxWG6tsYrUJ
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他拿給我水和食物時,我差點當下感動的哭了出來,為什麼說是差點呢?98Please respect copyright.PENANAB70Vs7t0Uk
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因為他還補了一句:「地板坐久了屁股容易長痔瘡喔。」98Please respect copyright.PENANAAVNYzQubDr
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這人一定要這麼讓人又愛又恨嗎?
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我簡單的和他道了謝後,他就快步的離開了。
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我睡在紙板上翻來覆側,睡不太著。98Please respect copyright.PENANAeId5pVe1uz
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早上五點多就起床決定離開了,我走到家門外,從窗外望去,發現父親已經醒來了,拿著酒瓶在看電視。98Please respect copyright.PENANAZauR2Q3HKw
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我不敢進家裡,但身體好髒、好癢。98Please respect copyright.PENANAGkm7TmePg8
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我不曉得該怎麼辦,我走到「橘色顏料」那間飲料店,那位女店員正在收拾,因為禮拜日公休,那位女店員好像都會在禮拜日做清潔的工作。98Please respect copyright.PENANAFhJLqlRYMU
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可能因為我在「橘色顏料」附近徘徊太久,那位女店員也認出我來,向我打招呼。98Please respect copyright.PENANA0H5PSF0z3A
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我微笑的揮了揮手,她招呼我過去,「你身體怎麼那麼髒呢?唉呦,怎麼全身都被蚊子叮?快回家擦藥洗澡。」98Please respect copyright.PENANAnw21WiVxD9
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女店員名叫小苡沙,有著一頭黑白色的長髮,溫柔的雙眼,舉止相當有氣質,講話的語氣和速度都讓人舒服,很有耐心,長的很年輕,目測應該是大學生。98Please respect copyright.PENANAryg6KIajXi
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「呃,我暫時還沒辦法回家。」我有些吞吞吐吐的說。98Please respect copyright.PENANAAFr5ynoHgQ
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她好像一眼看穿了我的心思,並說道:「喔~那你先坐在那張椅子好不好?等我清潔整理完我帶你去我家洗澡。」98Please respect copyright.PENANAVFi488Hcf4
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我感激的點了點頭,她微笑後拿起抹布快速的清潔完桌面,看旁邊橘色的油漆桶可以猜測她本來還想擦油漆,但她可能不好意思讓我等太久,早早結束了工作。98Please respect copyright.PENANA8TOaE3cSuK
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「來,安全帽。」她遞給了我一頂白色上面有哈囉Kiki的安全帽,坐上她那鮮紅色的摩托車,騎了一段路後,到了一間看起來不舊不新的公寓。98Please respect copyright.PENANAkGLqfsd88w
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其實到了她家門口後,我才覺得有些不妥,心想會不會被綁架啊,但來都來了,而且感覺小苡小姐不會是那種人。98Please respect copyright.PENANAGL5ZNqvFpH
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於是我脫了鞋,踏進了她家,「先進去洗個澡吧,熱水幫你放好了。」小苡小姐溫柔的說道。98Please respect copyright.PENANAEKTZJzxion
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我安心的脫去衣服,進去浴室,泡進那放好熱水的大浴缸裡,看著天花板,腦袋一片空白。98Please respect copyright.PENANAkKVKx3ECYf
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我洗好澡走出廁所到更衣室,穿好小苡小姐為我準備的衣服,走出更衣室後,看到小苡小姐在切水果。98Please respect copyright.PENANAjeC2ARLojl
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「喔,洗好了嗎?要不要吃點水果?」小苡小姐問道,「啊,好,謝謝。」我坐在小苡小姐家的沙發上,吃著小苡小姐切的蘋果,小苡小姐坐在我旁邊,感覺很想和我搭話,但又感覺不好意思開口。98Please respect copyright.PENANAlkxvm15vNe
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「好吃嗎?」小苡小姐溫柔的問,「嗯,謝謝。」我簡短的回答,「那個…對不起,容我冒昧問一下,請問為什麼你的小腿瘀青那麼大一片?是撞到了嗎?」小苡小姐感覺有察覺到些什麼,但沒有直問。98Please respect copyright.PENANArVcO33UmVJ
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「沒有,是被爸爸打的。」我覺得小苡小姐應該是個可以讓人放心訴說心事的人,所以我說出了實話。98Please respect copyright.PENANALOLvXzufbM
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「啊?這很嚴重欸,我建議趕快去報警,這已經可以構成家暴了。」小苡小姐認真的說,並心疼的看著我的小腿。98Please respect copyright.PENANAbWzfB6CSbS
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突然,有人按了門鈴,小苡小姐急忙去開門,映入眼簾的是一位有著棕色的頭髮,神情嚴肅,紅色的眼珠散發的眼神銳利,有一些鬍渣的男子。98Please respect copyright.PENANA94OUMjILkd
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「唉呀,你回來啦,今天有客人,不能抽煙喔。」小苡小姐溫柔的叮嚀。98Please respect copyright.PENANAxKsXyGJyy7
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「喔。」那位男子簡短的回答,就回到房間去。98Please respect copyright.PENANAfIHwjjPGgT
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「抱歉,那是我老公。」小苡小姐有些不好意思的說道。98Please respect copyright.PENANABJkupKyfwS
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「喔~原來如此。」我有些驚訝,因為小苡小姐看起來很年輕,原來已經結婚了。98Please respect copyright.PENANAtuhUEqdSUq
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我們接續剛剛的話題又聊了一陣子,小苡小姐很有耐心也很有條理的和我分析了各種法律或罪行證據等等的。
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雖然很感謝小苡小姐的好意,但我還是沒有勇氣讓父親離開我的生活,我還是希望能有個家人作為依靠,不管他是好是壞,至少父親目前是想要把我留在身邊的。98Please respect copyright.PENANA3LT42ufQCo
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雖然很害怕,但也得學著知足了。
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小苡小姐聽完我的想法後,心疼的把我擁入懷中。98Please respect copyright.PENANAt6pdqPyygf
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「你很努力了,但若有什麼需要幫忙的千萬要和我說喔。」在小苡小姐溫暖的懷抱中,我放聲哭了起來,把所有的委屈都發洩了出來,明明只是剛認識幾天的陌生人,卻感受到了比親人還要溫暖的關愛。98Please respect copyright.PENANA1JRRTgtkbh
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稍微平復心情後,發現小苡小姐的衣服都濕掉了,「嗚…對不起…」我哽咽向小苡小姐道歉,她微笑並搖搖頭。98Please respect copyright.PENANA2nDIl3Fw88
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我看向時鐘,沒想到聊一聊已經晚上7點多了,時間過真快啊,因為怕影響到小苡小姐的生活,所以我決定先離去。98Please respect copyright.PENANAGKD5RnUY2m
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我向小苡小姐鞠躬的道了謝,就走路回家,坐在電線桿下等到晚上10點多,回到家,還好父親睡了,我悄悄的回到房間,整理明天上學的書包。
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(6年前)我坐在媽媽病床的旁邊,依偎在她身上,只希望媽媽的病能快點好起來。98Please respect copyright.PENANAWcuVjuMF4i
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「我的小澤明啊,媽媽可能要去天國度假了,可以幫我照顧爸爸嗎?」媽媽雖然面露微笑,卻臉色蒼白,眉頭不自覺的皺了下來,看起來很不舒服。98Please respect copyright.PENANAGtkjjPYjgD
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「媽媽,在你度假期間我會幫你照顧爸爸,但是你要記得回來欸,不然我可能負荷不了呢。」我明知道媽媽回不來了,卻假裝天真的對著媽媽撒嬌。98Please respect copyright.PENANANxKCzw0qOV
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媽媽摸了摸我的頭,眼角泛淚,我雖然也很想哭,但是我怕我哭出來後媽媽會更難過。98Please respect copyright.PENANAPFVnCU88RU
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果然那一天傍晚,媽媽走了,留下我和爸爸,爸爸之後就像是失了神,整天渾渾度日,不是喝酒就是賭博,生活也變得相當辛苦。
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可能因為今天跟小苡小姐聊了許多,讓我坐在床上回憶起這一切,不禁放聲大哭了起來,明明以前的生活是那麼美好。98Please respect copyright.PENANA5Iq5rCiVYZ
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我寧願一開始的生活就是現在這副模樣,也不要給我美好之後又讓我瞬間掉落懸崖。98Please respect copyright.PENANAxtq889WBJx
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爸爸開了門,吼道:「大半夜的吵什麼啊!還給不給人睡覺!」98Please respect copyright.PENANAovsNn81vnV
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我當時沈浸在自己的悲傷中,感覺世界萬物都安靜了下來,並沒有聽到父親的吼叫,我邊哭邊說著:「媽媽,為什麼留給我那麼重的負擔,我明明就沒做錯事,為什麼要這樣對我!」98Please respect copyright.PENANAnfSwZAQDtk
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爸爸聽完我的哭喊,默默的關上了門,我就這樣哭到了凌晨1點多,哭累了就這樣昏睡了過去。
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「媽,我好想你。」
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