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-免責聲明：故事內容涉及以人類加入妖怪食物鏈情節，純粹以現時生物學生態類比，只屬幻想與虛構，如有雷同實屬巧合 - 155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapL7ECdr6M
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「喂，華仔。」條鬼佬以鬼佬腔廣東話叫我。「今晚有無節目？無就一齊去一野咬到d女一頸血啦？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DlbHUKp3d
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXp7NsqkYe
問返果時做咩咬鳩我？佢話，因為佢飲醉左酒喎。而家我焗住要同佢住。無計啦，就算嬲鳩佢咬鳩我，都要同返d生活習慣一樣既人往，做野起上黎方便d呀嘛。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwErmkrn6Kc
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLsboi0DKV
「戇鳩仔先會用牙隊落人條頸，噴到成身都係。」我話。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsx2iRWgVu
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnjEzT9sTD
「哈哈，我係戇鳩仔。咁先好玩！」鬼佬話。其實鬼佬份人都幾nice，有少少英國紳士feel。不過鬼叫佢咬鳩我咩？咬鳩我我就屌佢架啦。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtPuR8FK4n
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9xXs9Tgs8
鬼佬平時真係會著到成個吸血鬼咁，典型英國風格既吸血鬼。每年Halloween佢就最出位架啦。佢對於班本土派香港殭屍就好少理，因為佢吸親既，都係鬼妹。美國妹英國妹俄妹賓妹索高維亞妹，有邊種妹佢未食過？所以呢，佢又唔會話搶哂班殭屍風頭。有時真係想學下佢咁豁達。英國佬就係咁。BTW佢話佢最憎蘇格蘭吸血鬼。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWfKhVKEi8
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJmoJTdt2S
我地住埋同一個單位，位於元朗某間村屋。如果你都住附近，不防留意下果有架老爺benz，就係我地所在既位置啦。咁當然唔會話埋你知咩車款啦:o)155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdYAHeKQ87
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehYmCu3x6q
不過鬼佬佢佢從來唔會渣，因為佢會直接變蝙蝠飛去目的地，渣架車過老蘭？佢先唔會啦，過海好撚貴喎佢話。所以成日叫我郁下架車，費事電池無電，叫人黎救車又洗幾舊水。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyaUGMirwi
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO33noFy8n
（旁白：點解你地成日乜都話貴？）155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmJ0VSzXiy
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O2gyojaPz
屌啦，吸血鬼都要洗錢架！我地要一日2餐，一個月要飲一次人血，果兩餐唔係錢呀？仲有交租呢？燈油火蠟呢？香港做咩唔洗錢架？做吸血鬼，係香港仲難生存，都唔知邊忽有血！鬼佬就話唔洗點做野，幾百年前銀行D錢，今日仲收緊息，都咪話唔和味！至於我，就係雙失吸血鬼。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfAgOY7lPq
失業、失戀。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcN4RTtksa8
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHSgpVeR8D
不過咁，呢部黑色 Benz都叫做變左我溝女既工具。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRY9zSYX7pN
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkXiFqqmfF
呀係，小姓劉，名叫做華仔，德華。因為我好鐘意做愛，所以d人又會叫我做愛德華，或者華仔。二十年前，1996年係24歲。今年，2016年，個樣仍然係24歲。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVv2dPxGc5
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmBn38RPzr
當年未有SARS，大學生好吃香。今年，大學生做慘過擔爛泥怪。我雖然用左十年時間，讀左個degree，但都唔知做乜好。我呢D夜行生物，除左看更都唔知做咩好囉。試過係老蘭d夜店做過一排bartender既，不過環境太嘈了，吸血鬼對耳唔多頂得順。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IPrfKHROZ
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzWuDuC0g3
但係，最近見左份新工，希望可以搵到食啦...我諗，應該都幾過癮既。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Of8DoCxTu
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155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQaoXQE5On
「華仔下嘛，請坐。」一個著住西裝的女人話。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hzlmsrtoL
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhomadDDVJ
「..唔該。」我話。「可唔可以拉左個窗簾或者..較暗少少個燈。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiORHHzt4K
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWEwEE4czL
「先生，我都想請你除左副超先，我地先至可以繼續。」個女人話。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVZ7msphfV
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrkkUxYXRM
超，除咪除！吸血鬼唔鐘意見光姐，唔代表見光會死。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHDweL667M
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1PaARMZQd
「愛德華先生，想請問下你對於你申請既職位，有幾了解？同埋有咩期望呢？」個女人問我。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U6L7Abrn1
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrdG6oXFPh
「咩呀...殺人之嘛下嘛。」我話。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk50suS9ron
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRYrCXnVEn
「你的確講得無錯...」女人話。「不過...我地指定要殺既人物，一定要以特定方法令佢死亡，唔係只係殺。你知啦，香港地呀嘛。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvmpegkoBY
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QHXEEVrtq
無錯，我見呢份工就係全職殺手。當然唔係上jobDB就搵到啦，點都要靠D門路先至搵到。（唔好問我邊度搵）155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7zuXtVy1E
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmw5k5SJ3BD
（旁白：香港有殺手架咩？）155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4wLudEYHY
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1w7fzfgkQ
你地以為香港無殺手？哈哈，咁你地就錯了....你地自己睇下政府公佈既每年香港失蹤人口數字啦，每年穩定地有幾百人。我可以話，除左比我地呢類人外生物食左之外，都係殺手所為。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q7wB1lBQK
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04bLwguNKL
「明既明既...」我話。「不過可唔可以舉少少例呢？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3cjw8rw8q
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6ab4P2mFw
「我地係你正式加入前，唔可以講太多。」女人話。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhekxU10af
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOSjRbYKDw
「咁我加入囉。」我說。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrVLBhe66h
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtKEI4w1n5
「等等先....先生，我都未知道你適唔適合我地呢份工作。」女人企起身，指住一個紙板人。「我想請你係500米外，刺殺佢比我睇下。工具有哂係檯面，你可以用任何方法。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2n9taulS7k
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrwBTHMM8x
我望住檯上面，有刀有弓箭有球棒仲有支甜筒，就係無槍。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMNTCDo4mL
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u2C0Ticmq
不過都好，比槍我反而唔識用。一個正常香港人有幾可掂過槍呀？155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdgTwXBhKp
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal0t8GwrPt
「開始得未呀？」我問。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTijE0tkS3e
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9emmVVp6K
女人點頭。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeAfztzs93
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcw7j3GqPyF
難得有機會，我當然要玩返少少花招啦，豈有此理個女人睇少我？區區一個人類....睇少我？155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbcDoIkyQB
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpnASC3ANE
「颯！」一下風聲，紙牌人既頭先經比我撕左落黎，係我手上。而我仍然企係原位。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzaD5HL9Ve
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVYBANBt5d
「....」女人呆左。「你點做到架？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAPm5XY5ac
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtalqKFy7P
「秘密。」我羅住個人頭放係我塊面前面當做面具。155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcypu2mrSOx
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNc5k3kWOD
「....」女人開始好好奇。「起碼都話我知呢個係咩門派既武功？」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEORWdB12K
155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpn5biQtNY
我轉一轉個方向再擺pose：「都係秘密。」155Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM7dJetqlB
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