8. "Backtracking and the Role of her Entire Life"
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All that follows is true 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIONaG3NHkE
But even so, 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oTZpL80VD
For every truth is a corresponding falsity 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZkTiXSmT4
And every image an equal mirror 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuJkxBkiNM
So on further inspection, not equal in the slightest 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQ7uO7X9YH
You've moved up my doe dear, 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATY2lN0l4z
From 8 to 80 scenes. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSkn2D3xd9
All that follows is true.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3GLzbAZ5U
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[missing]
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81. Found
Safe. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHX5ftWfAK
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9. "Poem in the Loosest Sense of the World IV"
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a - Outside
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Unable to sleep unable to drink trying not to relapse again old tracts of life and tacts forgot new positive flow now all different now 5 weeks clean and still dirty sex eyes working late like it would help, but still haven’t lapsed back that’s something but anything is something old thinking old thoughts this is my poem I am in the loosest sense a human being being what? in the absolute loosest sense of the world word and world back round the globe again staying late at the job everyone else hates reminise of harder times, common lapses then wish to rekindle delusion rekindle the illusions the memories which have warped in on themselves truly the loosest sense of all things life is at its loosest the further back you go my birth has warped itself out of my memory all those months of substance abuse have rolled around to seem bright and sunny I associate Villainous Thing the smell of sunscreen walks at night leather clothing glamourous life on the road being truly against the grain worshipping self-destruction searching for a life beneath my own where in which in which things would mean and feel more akin to that warped sense of those things so many years ago my body hurts but I must keep moving the fisting of life to the music Outside, to the music Outside it’s happening76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfa7lbG19g
76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7TpYTydsE
Now76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbkgiQR9tZ
Not tomorrow76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSovzIct9y
Yesterday76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtbP4nYZv7
It's happening now76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNFccCKwjN
The damage today76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucDvP7cUaT
The crazed and the misloved76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5qYJUDvsT
It's happening now 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ms6dtWfzH
Not tomorrow.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOGUfrqOvH
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b - Give me a Reason to Live this Life
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Give me a reason to live this life, the front doors open, the braying clothes line, the wind picks up and shatters to leaves 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmV4LaErER
All falling down around and the scepters are steep in the sky across the street and with frosty tops 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImqUgA3tr5
They proclaim a love of height from chilly crosses and no birds try to mate them, leave well alone and the pigeons fly off 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72fokZ1W8B
To find a hooting home in the trees and the rooftops and the city fare, or any other possible place than here 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXovtVdpRRs
You’ve never seen them go and never seen them live, only ever saw them as scavengers76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsslPFA0Iv3
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Scavengers in the street, they’re 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkqLaGFmB5
Picking at feet with 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztuy4itVOD
Bloody combs looking for bread, I’m 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8DWAjm9r1
Crazy. See them come out now76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30xiRsU9P7
Treading around town, 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rt3lycoFi
Don't try to stop them, they’re 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9E1Dvc8iJ
Starving, crazy. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEAac3bW2x
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Split up into cities devoid of community 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZFSmtaB73
Left all dry and lost and the hunger so gnawing 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3I8bpkswK
Before you step and hide your spare breadcrumbs 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPQQTYVduE
I know 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYbdGNRTgi
I know 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7l032MTKZ
I know that you hate them. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu8StaqowJ
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And the universe warps 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6vzvWweAn
And my blood flow slows 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt68ZLBEe2T
And the loosest sense of the world just gets looser 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0585RAHlG
As we move further flow.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWOjwk9pdZ
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c - All is declining immediately
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Vampire bite. We are all declining most quickly locked away underneath the bed I am decaying very quickly now and no new ideas form, but the old just warp and shrink until I’m left without anything growing more distant seperation from the waves and rhythms of the past desperate to be optimistic 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCeBXrhifw
I hear static when I cum76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTapTbdkE1u
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10. "Poem in the Loosest Sense of the World V: Found"
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a - What could have been the end...
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Mountains of leverage. Windows of sin. Life’s broken ruble on a bird’s shattered wing.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwi0i8fV4QT
Pieced put with paper. Held on by string. Left not to die so not just anything. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhLIDKbnkK
Holder of night. Bringer of day. Hold on to the flow or we all pass away. Curse now the dusk. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x0Dx5juQr
Curse the ending. Forsake the glass away from its bending.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiWC7RAM7o
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I long to end my endless night. Long to find an answer to thus. Longing to reach now a message or reason, a reason why76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEdoYHjjjf
I’ve made such a fuss. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuXjvjbJC4
This page has gone long and winged by some wisdom. And I have grown older, abandoned the dead. But now I do 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSbyL40H9g
wonder if even in this asylum, am I truly free from the horrors I’ve bled? 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvkAPy0psW
There is not a soul who is totally guiltless. There are no such souls who don’t live pure for life. And now as I sit here, in 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdh4cH1NDV
my endless habit, I long to be then, an impossible life.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdo20oD8oa
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This song it has reason. This song it has death. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6kLmp7hvY
The singing voices, they all have unrest. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxmVEjW0V1
The singing continues. The prayer left unsaid. And no meaning is very found in the head. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVdWRcdJnl
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End. Safe. Found.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNwhsgkhUY
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b - The Poem Revealed in the Inmost Light
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You awaken to find yourself in a dark voided space. There are no doors here and no means with which to escape, all is just an eternity window reflecting back yourself. And you walk inside, bound by red string and witness a tiny window of light which does not reflect your life or its trappings. This is the poem, revealed in your inmost night, a tiny nightlight which is only seen for faint glimpses at a time. You begin to backtrack and you can repeat this new process all that you like but eventually you will find once again yourself back in this wretched place, which all in all is just your head.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68NuvMVY49
The poem is not nearly full enough. It is scraps unhealed by time and each scrap ends with tiredness and fades into dark ashes. Words become disjointed and are only scraps in the wind. The endless wind in this endless night. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6vXMACA1W
We have backtracked back to the front of my finest self. I sat there on the bed, somewhat disappointed that I would stay another day in a voided space without an evil. But I came to decide that an Evil should be introduced to give me a purpose again, some new form of Horror to kick off from. I went 8 weeks clean and now I am dirty once more. I am filthy once again. Filthy and free and my endless song can now be read by me. You are in a voided black space where there is no grass and there are no trees with which to take the breeze and thus, all that weight is pressed upon you. But now see a brilliant bright array of colour fill the whole everything, all emanating from that tiny screen before you, one which just before had only faint glimpses into a grander picture: of something, (for instance). Now all is clear and open, and though thought when I return to that nightmare space of void static night, guided only by some faint symbol titled ‘time’, and may well not see how this way is true, I will now tell the truth and the total meaning of this winding page of fragmented words. The meaning is thus. All meanings are true. Contradictions can exist in perfect equilibrium. I live in decline, but this is also an incline. The world is in its loosest sense when you see it the clearest. This is a nightmare mind, trapped in itself, in a nightmare space and all inside it must be brought to see. All is true. It does not matter how you live once you exist. And once you exist, then you very much are real. My feelings and loves are controversial to many but I do not fight back them now and am in love with the ways which they glide and their sweet violent cadences, like a butterfly jammed inside a car exhaust, a women barely hanging on to life through the strength of a zip-tie or the hulking body of a man in freefall. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Iqvnp2TXX
I am inside this World. And this World is inside me. I am the most alive and living of all. I am OnlyLife. This is my meaning. This is the message revealed of the Poem in the Loosest Sense of the World.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpirv19AKY0
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c - The Poem Revealed in the Inmost Night
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Houses align on this new dawn 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQFcaNYc7F
Once death lurked away, hidded beneath curtains of shame 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J42tMYFl6
When I was once to be awful ashamed of the life I had left to rubble 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUErbQJ1x3b
But now picking up the pieces of rubble I notice it is stained glass. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXAwlghC97
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How ignorant to these houses aligned on this hill 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpb0nFlRxK
Which are in fact not at all houses but great cathedrals which have fallen with time into lonely pillars 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ38tJs5vbv
Without arches, their groin vaults having only lived for so long 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kXqCJq62N
No mason to uphold their fragility any longer 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotPsCGKmZr
This world is huge and carnivorous. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9BwdtMCpa
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You see now that this new light illuminates the ghosts of these buildings. And 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMcgEPIO0j
The ghosts are not figures, in the classic sense, but projections 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hHo4ppx4G
Of the buildings which once were was.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuCS0j4QjB
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And ingravings are seen on walls: 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfCTc1N3Sj
Part one: I am dead and wake 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMPJrUTL8b
Part two: I feel a new awakening 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQhRGqFnHS
Part three: which is long old by now and comes out shorter76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3WMo6zMWL
Part four: I return to say my speech by train 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl6923gXGE
Part V: this was meant to become the end 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXwuCry35K
Part 6: But then this 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKf2CJfBiXn
Part 7: the beginning then, now, of the fina; end 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Blo0ES3no
Part eight: Backtracking begins 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSakwnLzFT
Part 9: I begin what will become the end while still in rejecting sober 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2Yfy8JDWp
10: drunk now, I become the ending.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwVAxVi7GX
And that was Begbie’s story... 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dDpVXbFuc
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They’re putting me away but I’ll be back someday... 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWGs1J5T1g
Coming home, back to families, my mind is on edge due to an end in sight. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPy51NkTBr2
And I do not want this. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqHQ9yNFbj
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Always take in more, for security, 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9iC716ayd
Now I fly. (…)76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzB2789QICM
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d - Sadness Song
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[Enter the mind, stage right, weary] 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk26XuX8eej
The mind: 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpyvALiGUp
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We touch the world 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5ovkhtSC9
And it all falls away 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBmC5kQcsm
We hear the word 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsi3ECQNoa
But it all burns with the day 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sLM1yX1d1
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Now our mother lies in blood 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkInajVr196
Father swims away 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszRkBVzmf7
And we find us all alone 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroZilKhXro
Sadness song plays. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRu6Ch2xtYJ
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Was it found? 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6kRVhOfA4
What was spent? 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRTatASxZa
Now that everything is lost76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6pCUqWpUE
What was found? What was spent? 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAH1kIqduk
But a sadness song. 76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Mve8B7dUB
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Drink another drink self-reflect some more everything disintegrating guidless nihilism this is me. Safe.76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIavYTUwUJ
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