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No Plagiarism!cGiTTsqpyiM3SqcLMIHnposted on PENANA (本節推薦搭配歌曲為美波 - ライラック)8964 copyright protection153PENANAOLuz7gXHn1 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAU00WUB6JRn
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(8964 copyright protection153PENANAiNMTUiEymB 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAbQJexA1zHi
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------老爸視角------8964 copyright protection153PENANABV3o1Q6Njo 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAmOOynpiKGW
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157Please respect copyright.PENANAt6OpG1xK2J
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晚上實況結束後,我便直接洗洗睡了。醒來時已經是早上九點。8964 copyright protection153PENANA651U0Dlizz 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAfioJQbjBJP
8964 copyright protection153PENANAhhHLPsdyUt 維尼
似乎夢到了什麼不好的事,一醒來卻通通忘了。只有殘留的些許緊張及冷汗,在告知自己有這件事。8964 copyright protection153PENANAg3LLdf2CEA 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA0BvcvapSQU
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但既然忘了……就別逼自己回想了吧?8964 copyright protection153PENANAEeIUt6GrFE 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA8darvbdv2t
8964 copyright protection153PENANAUfim9WUDil 維尼
總之,我仍舊直接起身到廁所梳洗。8964 copyright protection153PENANAJBBNNGgDMZ 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANApy4v6esbP9
8964 copyright protection153PENANAGfrDlZxSlO 維尼
感覺睡得不太好,有種過度警醒,卻依舊疲憊的感受在體內盤桓不去。就算刷牙洗臉完,也試著做了對現代人來說十分難得的早操,那感覺仍無消退的打算。8964 copyright protection153PENANAR2L5ccO2fx 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAX0K68dk8WX
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是肚子餓的關係嗎……?這麼想著的我直接去廚房煮了碗泡麵,接著坐到客廳沙發,像是心死的上班族般默默吃完再回廚房洗碗。8964 copyright protection153PENANAOBDh8wOmvK 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAcCsTHWXSEI
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洗完後回到房間,用手機傳訊息給北風說:昨天自己問太多了,並對拿問題堵她問題這點覺得抱歉,並且還在想賠罪的方式。一送完訊息,我便閉上眼睛拋開手機,在沙發上伸手摀住臉。8964 copyright protection153PENANAqMd5fgCakg 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA8Q1uRLovxu
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「……嚇哈!」8964 copyright protection153PENANAIrrdfmDcDd 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAFWzX5yjrIB
8964 copyright protection153PENANA17CUbdEqJZ 維尼
發出了十分羞恥(被別人聽到的話),但能幫自己打氣的仿武士吆喝。8964 copyright protection153PENANAkpApWzl17R 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA3GahCixFn8
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好了。8964 copyright protection153PENANAQv4JwnoCXA 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAoHLLmKYa3n
8964 copyright protection153PENANAvKIstjkXdt 維尼
能先做的事都做完了,該是做那個練習的時候了。8964 copyright protection153PENANAIJFb1rGq8w 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAt9j5uNDmmf
8964 copyright protection153PENANAc8YA7ldO2u 維尼
……做那件我下定決心做到的事。8964 copyright protection153PENANATnknBY5Sqk 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAnBdHg38iEu
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於是我深呼吸。接連深呼吸三次,才終於讓自己抓起家中鑰匙離開房間。8964 copyright protection153PENANACBmjhu6RWr 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA4TxJBueh2w
8964 copyright protection153PENANAfuE4ImEnkH 維尼
老實說──上次雖然成功走到陽台,但僅僅一次的成功經驗,無法讓恐懼就此消散。對於踏出家門這種事,還是會忍不住想要逃避。8964 copyright protection153PENANAPs0DqxNKpX 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAUA1tER0k8a
8964 copyright protection153PENANAUJLXRme7GK 維尼
很想做點事。無論什麼事都好,藉此讓自己不用面對那可怕的感受。8964 copyright protection153PENANAcUrTpGEAAt 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAM7K5vk2GGq
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就算曾經挑戰成功,但有時……這反而會讓自己不願再次嘗試。8964 copyright protection153PENANAIGdvUOuZv9 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAOCLix3MsKg
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比起失敗後又失敗,一度成功後卻再度失敗的挫折會讓人更難受。8964 copyright protection153PENANAu8hQgx0ulp 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA3QpbvksxyN
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所以說,看見希望不一定是好事。因為有些人──像是我──就會覺得希望保留在還是「希望」的狀態就好。畢竟一旦開始追逐,那希望可能反而會破滅,轉變成更深的絕望。8964 copyright protection153PENANAOJ909lfVPw 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAwsTF6npulM
8964 copyright protection153PENANAQiLmD3F09t 維尼
「……唉。」8964 copyright protection153PENANAqmMl1gNJei 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAzt1m0lsGkh
8964 copyright protection153PENANAPFuP94GJOZ 維尼
但無論再想逃避,還是得繼續嘗試。8964 copyright protection153PENANANeBqG3zD6t 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAmy8IF8rihB
8964 copyright protection153PENANAOqYdgXUJGY 維尼
既然決定了。那麼為了自己──同時也是為了兩個孩子,無論如何都得繼續去試。8964 copyright protection153PENANAlTTUu8RIcB 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAVs4k6JXgM9
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「嘶──呼──嘶──呼──」8964 copyright protection153PENANA5oijcikkr1 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAnmKwyBApwo
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終於準備好後,我站在門口,再度深呼吸三次,試著完全放空。盡量不去想接下來要做的事,也不去想做不到的話會怎樣?8964 copyright protection153PENANAGOXHFBUw6x 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAamxNkja8Fv
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不去想那些會產生恐懼的事。8964 copyright protection153PENANAy41E3YLeBC 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAlMxjuZujUX
8964 copyright protection153PENANA8GybYSwFzs 維尼
似乎是因為原有的疲憊吧?感覺比較沒胡思亂想了。於是接下來,我小心維持著腦內的平衡,同時伸手抓住門把。8964 copyright protection153PENANAz2OOITRsWn 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAO0ccwuHZ74
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不會有事的……這就只是門把,不會怎樣的。接著再向右推,然後再走出去就好。8964 copyright protection153PENANAILD1ElzOzG 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA4C2hqGahdP
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閉上眼,只去想著門把的觸感……推開時的阻力還有抬腳向前時的肌肉感受──8964 copyright protection153PENANAhD2zJNH2Jj 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA4po8VoSARO
8964 copyright protection153PENANALJ5vnV5mOG 維尼
努力讓自己集中在這些事上,不多想什麼有的沒的。結果一睜眼──便發現自己已然站在陽台。8964 copyright protection153PENANADghvSor3ni 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAE1rKXR6Enh
8964 copyright protection153PENANA6aCxlZrqUB 維尼
「呼……」稍微鬆了口氣。「看吧,就說不會怎麼樣了。」8964 copyright protection153PENANAvBndapMTtH 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAVmzCeM9UHR
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然而,雖已過了第一關,但和上次相比根本沒任何不同。8964 copyright protection153PENANAyW3NldU4mw 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAImKEWiAZD1
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但還是得鼓勵自己就是了。8964 copyright protection153PENANAUiuZn6eHQ5 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAgPkrdJdUdt
8964 copyright protection153PENANAeMVSwpepV6 維尼
稍微從陽台向外看去──恩,沒什麼特別的。是在客廳也看得見,對面公寓的水泥牆及別人客廳的──不行。再看下去大概會被當成偷窺狂。8964 copyright protection153PENANAh0ANPNHE7M 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA1mHdWjozPc
8964 copyright protection153PENANAuGrE2uyiZV 維尼
而向左看去,便是這個社區的公園。是我……和子曦在若芸與輝烈還小時,常帶他們去玩的地方。8964 copyright protection153PENANAyXRc0XDg7N 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA3Z5tpe1O7K
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有點懷念。8964 copyright protection153PENANAWpPYCi9jx8 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANACn2qynEcPp
8964 copyright protection153PENANAjc1OTL1319 維尼
想到以前的事,即便現在也還是忍不住想笑。8964 copyright protection153PENANAo6boc0O3Bh 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAsQN9QH7kSl
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那是一切都還正常,只屬於我們家的時光。8964 copyright protection153PENANAUgsE436gwi 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANALtpREqarXE
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子曦會一直在我身邊,若芸與輝烈也還小,整天黏著在家的我和她不放──8964 copyright protection153PENANAUj1Pg3i9h8 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAWT2bzohqph
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但如今卻完全相反。8964 copyright protection153PENANAQzfxqgCdly 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAYcWRsZAmXj
8964 copyright protection153PENANABHgQfnqSes 維尼
……一不小心又分心太久,還是把心思放回正事吧。8964 copyright protection153PENANAvURLM3vkiI 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAKHrVIPwted
8964 copyright protection153PENANA6ZRFHCu2zU 維尼
把目標放在右手邊──那扇門的背後。8964 copyright protection153PENANAIiU2h36InO 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAREDoMBj8S5
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好吧。8964 copyright protection153PENANAxS48lQWOc8 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAyegnlwu3T2
8964 copyright protection153PENANAVGKUr1q1fC 維尼
總而言之,我試著強迫自己向右轉,面對自己的家門。但直到扶住陽台欄桿,一點一滴用手扯動自己前,雙腿都不肯聽從使喚。8964 copyright protection153PENANAw7GSp6TbUG 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAxkH2R0fuHd
8964 copyright protection153PENANAGgJtzv0gtD 維尼
腦袋不斷發出警訊,警告自己別去碰……別看見那些事物。可是那就只是扇門,只要打開就能出去了,不就是這麼簡單而已?8964 copyright protection153PENANAexyxUTJA30 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAduPSJBisLs
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如果辦得到的話就試試啊?「這到底有什麼辦不到的?」8964 copyright protection153PENANAeyENsWu0Lj 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANA55MplUayHv
8964 copyright protection153PENANA74QHXPLfWl 維尼
如果不怕的話大可以打開那扇門啊?「......好啊。我就開給你看!」8964 copyright protection153PENANADoV2LisPai 維尼
157Please respect copyright.PENANAJxV4kAZ80r
8964 copyright protection153PENANAuXo7hDL6LL 維尼
只要像這樣伸手,握住大門握把再推開就──8964 copyright protection153PENANA8Hc8h5XaeH 維尼
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