「你還可以嗎？」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXRkNbKbEN
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdiElzf9dM
「無法不可以。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQIZxzzUxw
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHgE6VOpJG
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMQktMHYSQ
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb1EB0z6eP
「謝謝你。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2ib0F9mt3
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1VRW3f9Pt
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth3t64G0Cy
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLjFjKUFYk
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI4LBRFTBb
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjr1ZChRXh
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkP5GJLhmBA
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q0WzuBP1O
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE3HPVxUfo
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkEIs3EWfq
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnUMdJQlnk
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDzurGZh3a
「老婆……」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdRDqn7QVU
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzyT0mKB8O
「有困難？金錢？」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOGger0ogF
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDojaXZIBM
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymGxfHmZPy
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGPV2uMiU0
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfAtqTKKrE
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8VOMWUzmE
「嗯。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycOTdjKpWA
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEpfewArw0
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3Enr2j8Kc
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHIyQQFKpJ
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBNhqXvXyg
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrbdmzsIu7
無能。無力。無奈。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvyi0hXlPY
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUDSUN6e3H
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNulxQq32G8
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8z6uTnAoH
剪不斷，理還亂。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMrYM3Zz3J
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HB9WZrbtk
勿剪，別理。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLAqw2ZDqL
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2jYvO5hq8
待時日將其化解。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGKY73NIRv
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVY9UAvuqra
莫操心。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV7oUppYQY
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4pyb8eA8z
莫操心？633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEsZJLxYrF
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6k3xD6BW1
如何莫操心？633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgS4yiwwMr
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DohEDange
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1ZvvgDjCX
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGFkwxlMRt
撐多久？如何撐？633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxytfdKqjYV
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzCHz5vcxx
不知道……633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IjeTJ00VX
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qKplL2HuT
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYhtSWWGgL
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjm34mmfQk
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgW0YvcHk3
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ODMIVjDNv
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqmwPt2nRm
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDctPmG7ihf
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth6bWauiPO
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WwjLr7w4K
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecCIGyKLwz
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0yK2IFYBe
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3WkZLjgMY
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DegW1V7xf
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBWP3dk5zv
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcGymOiWGH
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZVQpqaTl6
我笑。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzEcVhc1BC
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlD5NCRtsuM
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGoPjZOue7
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDep4ZACAY
忽爾不想回家。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbWbPbZ9qz
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBq1TYs6iT
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rzCIuawGQ
「好的。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6Y4aWwNPE
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡab5ul7uEcS
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0zcpLYvvF
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRFQUbfs2k
只會苦了自己。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEACmscnLLn
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCzfIRtPFM
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8h5YgLsyE
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCE6VttdIGL
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TAuedIU6A
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBTiBvchBO
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqa9HBYZr5
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoPG1yfO6x
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyxmWWrqhC
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt82rViTJh
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbOMHxiwOt
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxbNl2Lljx
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYI2oW57fU
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvVxF6AlSG
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRaCLw5QcQ
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hNykKIwGz
一、二、三、四、五……633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0ry8CmiO7
註：633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihwFvCs8Do
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipEsWi1a9m
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkG9TlHLVO7
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdONJg8qvq
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHB7T2cnBOS
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4iT8Zdeaf
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssmzzvPqZN
633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgCgKhBXlm
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》633Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexnyR4QwbN
