09.216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ERffEii7d
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzPbZDOAfA
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ092DHwC39P
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ40ewPHUmu
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxU7ifQ2Fzk
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6bQATozyr
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaObex366X
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBCAQZCToG
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkjXs6EERG
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHGQksGz6Z
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbBKIgprGx
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TqQsF97A9
「怎麼了？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZW3wuVm5W
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F43Q0nzIe
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlysLqgCUkH
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQXVJJXvMR
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSy8AjWwju
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPowhfYv9E
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU1SyAYR9j
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayHCjzGb2o
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwN0u18uxX
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gdJgL7Cxw
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoam29YrUID
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8GW09BBqZ
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfkeXcM78M
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1go3FXb7T
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJqSbjQFtl
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjq1xVULqO
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRNyFVJAv6
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwonHUd769
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B1DNqOPkm
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhKG0yfANa
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeOcF5nwUl
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NNnRfNQCX
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTeO80A0MR
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthkfCr3BnS
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKHdpEb9G7
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIX0ZBLK8Rc
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnxTi8x0WU
「也要。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yNiWRteic
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuvU1S7WZr
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAinHNI7eh
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wDBC838hc
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmj7B3hKxRr
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZT9DLhvtF
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnIJ0DekcC
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UCV09EagF
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFGqsjxtZN
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwsgjgaQ0s
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlQfmiHv06
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ivXAOCQMj
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlPXm0Qbcn
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4uI0H6DGY
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx5YXk5HE1
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATYTKEVqoe
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOS24RtI4O
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTauiC9CYXl
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSgQ1QSUSz
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhImEqIISN5
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAEKq0M6Dq
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6rLKZz5kp
「愛的本質？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNawSb5YT7d
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLI5o9HF1i
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKQZ8BxIPQ
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIvK9OQLyR
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6j2bqIn6E0
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOxRgvb9ex
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0U2PbT5qy
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NoyGQf5yc
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcj50ySBQK2
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbrpIed7WO
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimT6h2pgt3
「新年快樂。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgrI6SOu3v
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2xPUlLJWb
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpATTeoO7Zr
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZ5Biqj8Yg
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEiDEb2777
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoMUg8FItM
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIN7bFHBC0
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEswP1Un1s7
「新年快樂，傑。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIFEUpaZCE
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tw6DHdfGn
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HHDjpxdbJ
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm9USHePVD
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX546ncGsrr
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlR9tj2ErtA
10.216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLB8WRG7QyA
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49K7glXd68
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUayozQ8H0
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIp4AtJze1
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJosMWkvjDv
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA891OLs2Dh
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3o4BT7Ek1
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBS2MgOS76
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIE3cjCzkTB
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKusqGBFBRk
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvse3WfKSA
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfB8DVhovW
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4nKZpyPpq
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1mqCEb2Yr
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydYCLqzZat
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12uOUlKwZl
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1ehiSs8Md
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuChRucD0zG
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr6ETNgvgK
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIq139ZeotL
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BqTBq9Omw
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlsIfSZY41
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0aGj8jug1
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBCgMAPGSF
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZMyeq59D0
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJghTWWk5ld
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKT6erTAfq
他對我說：不進來嗎？216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5csFZY5bTl
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyRY7zvQKT
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSV8uadvE5
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxykwplFH6
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjZmqoYRaM
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDqIIApFB7
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqcIt1WsFG
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIFjf9iUKa
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHmuzu92Tp
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcGjAXFHJJ
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrxUHo6O53
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTze026PZp
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oFpLTLzJi
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNurVDwo19d
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXeO3yIQSt
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKngpdobMQY
我好像從未了解過他。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hB36rR0m3
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EN776ZrZn
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jcQgLZtPc
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UyRGwKQuX
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf957ZIWoi
「是你嗎？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrA9DBGdnIA
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBkoIxcj0Y
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmDtf1RA9a
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lv7kkmslH
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uTnCTx0A0
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxr9rDXVcwQ
夏油傑笑了一下。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekidXIhB7l
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJh4mqEQvX
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm73EZhVCH9
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6lFoXHHHX
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6bffh2rdt
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAmKBSksQq
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtEgJ0m983
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVh3L093Em
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2EqRAXbO0
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmzjbsBXGR
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujizBnri4r
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwRxLKsW3k
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CrDMENlOn
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7abqzjJ6vl
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3VQVQJwv2
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5eOhoeOEa
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA5ETVXIP8
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLLval6oki
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18zI9vXOHs
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnqpEZ7MiK
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03kaEcrW1h
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1DYnJGdso
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSckbQSgzV
就這樣吧。216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lJtSJv4hg
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ju0NtkBYg
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4BtMFKnUH
216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZcYdA6U7A
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWxxY0ZLcS
240815 10 二修216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xYzsdFrpb
