09.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2skUTO1Le2
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHEjS3xq8N
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gt5MviGbv
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8SBrTin4D
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVNpf7xjxp
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOl199oO4Z
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8I57PFmuN
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbElHisslRm
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhivjcALP6e
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9KMAjqspG
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcb6pIB5Oc
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe34vp4L9cx
「怎麼了？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4zFl49MFE
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZF6YYlUKQ
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBokuqzkWbk
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh5Bc7hZf1
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ghIguIw2e
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bE2BkBBFj
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOKmyzeoIk
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ338R0W3Ixu
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtrm80ZgwY
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡherODIxds1
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6ZlQRMHTv
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGT6JZMI7vi
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUE8NTtfg3B
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLn9viU3qh
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyFY5kVNIw
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICtQfuR5wh
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFd5XOnjBb
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFwfY0bzMU
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFGR4U8wVP
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaplpXwfQvQ
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yyq2Dkvk7
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd4ua5tuSZ
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8W33Bm0dPg
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJLfjoDINj
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8m7fuD5S2
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVhvbHkV6O
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyexofkPvg1
「也要。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayL8CPoPk8
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbgCEPhU6W
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQAF1IRIDl
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPkWVISHkz
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdHJ3Me2WS
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8EPBvjk6s
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgH4mOgyfYq
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaZhXmsXV3
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvAeQnr3f4
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7f9b3ZRcc1
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbWMamkdYR
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSyJAFM0J7
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWZI1fpBU4
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpj1w3EKH5B
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJDAddytfP
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2bf54YDye
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpx51ry2hhg
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdy8Pq1kjn
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquSTO5rzSW
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOLJ7fyqe4
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXDjl5UpZp
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡln39QMhqx2
「愛的本質？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQscuhTdZA
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNY0iofx2f
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXJQjcfjNU
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SsJ9kjap2
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIP84yEeuQ
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxmbsEx0pq
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6cL1NbStQ
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDztX5jD3g
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UYuOKwHa7
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcQk6aw330
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5GzVlb5Wg
「新年快樂。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtu120m4Xgk
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv1ArUHAhk
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGZQyTzaRF
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpFWxaboZT
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYNquRKqRT
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxaPcuQYfG
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLDzU0hgji
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH67LTBFxFz
「新年快樂，傑。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mng88AJtl
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcpl9kKUVy
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9xQnN3IV2
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnKZWjxffe
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBsdCwADKk
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aN6J5BCSO
10.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1ofE6pIly
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlwaUJESew
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6TsFFm3Ox
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm65Maj1Cdl
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O0Q371be3
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtvdrvTDxn
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKxurLbc0b
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEcxg6XUEn
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11G6TBg5cc
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDuyx9OErz
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5IZQhQNo0
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZsyQYSBGo
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjyurCoPU3
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1nW8p6ZNt
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYy09tgnfG2
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbo4T5WH4zF
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPG88meFI8l
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLOhB82ZMr
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzWNUjTSBO
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44XarkHdOV
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwEFt7mTCS
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNmrKETquJ
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg54EyG23Is
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2eIHsbRrq
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxqMy7XXXJ
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxMGwyVQYy
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf09d3XrFk
他對我說：不進來嗎？202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqpBacCbPB
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6w12b4vrMM
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs0N1cCyov
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyWIVTBeCO
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey4ktUsh7V
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFeOan2MZn
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWss5vNB9BH
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0IuJEHPGP
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngNsCAdx2r
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RenakjBea
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGFxTqSln1
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwO8kFy7eGY
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSrjo6YKYX
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0r4Mv7ULSs
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxcw07Y3ES
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvonq34fKbB
我好像從未了解過他。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGukGFJhcBG
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7CMOVSsrc
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RqqZNjDB6
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFym0HnErL
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabGppy31qu
「是你嗎？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBRE6cXCUn
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOeH6VDhQ6
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ERaEjeZ0h
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EIjeSLy5Y
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWkl2HOUlE
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9h0NqjiXO
夏油傑笑了一下。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTErTjmFDe
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLry4YyH7M
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3BlY8Tm17
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9lXS5fKQM
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHn4RE69bw
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDUCzhYfZH
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXW9GisOxX
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJudMXK1fQ
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNbfS4HRc2
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRnmUrN6iS
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzXsVilOSi
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z1drj4RYK
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYABO62YjTI
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZiV2BVM0b
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIkrdugFhw
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxBYsUMkYY
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiC0anuFCk
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3mLaeXQ44
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdE8uV62MLN
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8J1kl5cl5U
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVagejUpl5
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaSTMq4a9H
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRAWkNJzIf
就這樣吧。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4XszmmEPd
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkT1YR04lc
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOveROjZuX
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiEjUnjxxb
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQYBsdpSCQ
240815 10 二修202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VROMSo0rK
