09.208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFERWBtjve
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZW4htVYvf
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aTM7a62gB
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBKXddez2q
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcS6M3Q03w
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQcwsqK2aK
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kWzfXwu5b
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBupQEsEaKd
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4bWe0FStI
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwQoEcrnQQ
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQe2q8hpId
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEWWYzI2vI
「怎麼了？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjPEMmiloj
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqIJMuCWdv
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQtyA2X6nc
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFt57l162dW
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnvkcTx07Z
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKfAc6qNkD
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNyfo9FLyq
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYClmAC8uXB
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TeNs1y5t7
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUI2iB8BmPr
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1asUsFlLf
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj2wfHiKDE
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaWPjumD4w
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38Ho4yAKQw
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkN6Wn6uoUD
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuDsOPKHo3
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp0kHzXtEQ
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft1WLxIDiW
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFmxm2os4N
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vuusGqX1L
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4h9hU53neA
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqdOivFLKs
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgyzYtlXYw
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9538GS8Mna
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5F8tfTUBf
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtetpIMWafa
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE5juquGXY
「也要。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4MvDsNtJx
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrMyllWReA
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtpAO7L0qJ
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGigHjLb8dz
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWJJSJvEXf
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheBgLt4hfC
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3eX7EWq7Y
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vCAEkw4Ju
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdR2JNg6LE
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoHYSnP9cc
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZfxGlW5xs
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUHFMzQEa4
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqeduxCz4L
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ84hMLgMkN
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsFrjZkei7
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRd0Vp9G1zS
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS19SDbvggw
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosev8uKkPG
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhmDZhu6Sw
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxB68ctKX7
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKI3g4x3Ha
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtITH2wj7v
「愛的本質？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F3lPzucpx
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ab6xzgs9U
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZGupZNjZE
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax3umOEeH5
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkmTokWy8V
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1nlrMKVPy
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeE3NjcNfdt
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2DRXhfGjH
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzc4qsXHKkp
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgkxJeKJgx
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdgtxj5QrC
「新年快樂。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvzGm6UFnT
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqpwLZoZuh
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vKlNinnSf
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHrc3VLO40
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQATDvQox0X
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Klvvjy5db
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbSHttspuG
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU6qgnRtXr
「新年快樂，傑。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mxUvdp2N3
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡct40Rn9BJT
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvlyC5f5hG
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1853hEPy4m
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2F16k22xQ
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA32MEnGip
10.208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4fdKDKgZL
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsB6QvzlxR
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymRktBukMK
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxONT1MrDz
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTajqmK449u
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlg8iVCas5
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMUsk1lnIN
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTV3tpB4wR
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLj5H89y1c
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVG90vAkrQ
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6rScIW4Xz
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtAkZAfdjM
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9LGHqgRQE
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtth6Y9oi4
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2lCpNG86N
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbHDQDIaWJ
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThZbanfoJ5
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TrL5ooK33
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2ZnVqjwzO
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlB57j4sg9
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp7Oaev3tQ
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwf6H7qxU5m
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IU3iG8uQr
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvx6Lm7jomY
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPoWaNv25U
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvUnWJIwSq
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY7nIbaVTj
他對我說：不進來嗎？208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZlswSfxp7
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvEZtIHX6i
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGYIUmlE2o
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUFucgK0GS
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMOSHvSWzT
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjXHhILz4v
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUEGxVRpaE
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkkgbYDC14
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8K7tdAfn2
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0GqoGac21
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36wmylqQFR
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQE8SZSxu3
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIfOiOkoa1
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7Lpp6KAvs
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9uVRzgWbS
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTaasvd4LE
我好像從未了解過他。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbWHI7SFcm
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGIbCdm9wC
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp644l6iXrg
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhyDVZ5QoI
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRJ2LK6sn0
「是你嗎？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYBKUllF5E
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6uON7YI70
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGI10caaOh
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4zu5N795R
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVYRgywgb4
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNxo6GEhpt
夏油傑笑了一下。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrLBU4J3HF
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2VJ53EbnG
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8sMia0H2S
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡna9M12iFOv
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ952TT7yM0D
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLMuAcvel2
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBAPJCa9tz
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPnWHPaPr8
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnREyD71H0
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTFSBrPEis
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtv1SliLmO5
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyOI8G2fwk
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4DUjFY9Hb
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8rehq9ejw
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvikraHcIwJ
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYDzDUAiFK
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZhEKfR6cm
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiURW27KRJM
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjivH7Aiyh1
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVA2JijdqBM
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyK4TJPY9M
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPuK6CRdmV
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKxOsohl3c
就這樣吧。208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Kt6BQdeFi
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5h2PKpy5Q
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHhXb1C64g
208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVydDN5bz1
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBz6XxgAgJ
240815 10 二修208Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAUp1T3euM
