x
「去哪？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLxrKSImeD
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwB8TS0Fiq
「急事。」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0H7IF9g05i
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvPwNHbLHu
「你不吃晚餐？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtM2kEaEla
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIiH8INLik
我沒應答，逕自出門。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4RA4YOlJq
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9CjR3TaSj
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlIkHrfUIF
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvPnZYJVkX
難以言喻的鬱悶。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LwyPKDCVg
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo9OuSUJEa
長嘆。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAdufmUFTc
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1MGh9T6vg
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nEtwJNVgy
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8xwNDqyz1
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3elqvQBt5V
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLo13bQzf0n
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjLJuM7Rm0
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sbyM4Vs4E
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKVGUMdwoX
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhWW3omgc0
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyxtc1c6Fi
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYQkTURbPs
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzENfwVmNXR
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bZmXOS9ud
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXWTQtnwMo
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7Gmx9h92r
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKzXMXXBjR
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cZoo1ly80
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6AnUmOOh6
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOB7IFJ7Me
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOBQVErBGN
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RNRvilMmN
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeY68uHd6dZ
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFd5ItDhjy
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ACeiVhZqC
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oGsiKGFII
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyxJJWNCGJ
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiLQl9FDzl
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vZnWumYAu
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswgRjgkNTn
註定的。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeXLZ98W88
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEKpE0tG01
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsmYmzoBYF
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMycZeeECS
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4G8rnwKPt
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnTuv1aUw8
停步。猶疑。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJZu1NFYfm
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAAHj3Zq7k
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaESToe8L8U
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeg69VWi43
轉身。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP0bMqbODY
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYyu2Falze
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZZQFdrE4c
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNIzgfXtC1
我回身走去。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI9ku8j7cE
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPHodhL0sb
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABfNLWsfpN
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeuiovFJ1N
把小狗抱入懷內。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RgFtk45vm
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqW0AuHmNl
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIAwXLiYB0
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeZDYzFGI8
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd4iUfvHMF
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHFXq5lAls
海風？海濱公園步道？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTfe0fJEKB
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUC7OO9JPwW
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpohvL92ML
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxT1MWpBvC
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuTkNxMbrk
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWiSDC71tj
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXzLgitKjo
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXTKGjirnz
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7Y5gN7Llf
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRwWkcRXub
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUoFtNYtN2
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJ8hddnNnL
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxNYJvmA4X
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKXfpsX9YJ
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCPDtoJrr2
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SHqZytwCB
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0ViHN10GU
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMGt22HpF9
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCb9KHUmsJK
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0cszaHvVt
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡad587V2r4I
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uUBJn0iAR
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdze4XytYt
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOO3UZ44hy
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbekF9jIGp
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiNuQEW6wR
鬱悶何來？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vK2xEZs19
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRz21DyYaDf
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEwLigUUch
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstbnVLbaji
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pLWUghwHI
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nxz5duDwt
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5iTzSjQzG
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv1MvPsdOL
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOJKnxem9w
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0TGulPExd
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVtCO1aUlG
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFrbk2vHGA
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU28ckXlJd
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNYFoPaeIO
然後呢？根本沒有然後。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqNUzz9PSW
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj4fb7kjCv
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUrhbC7HR3
329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQ6kLYwJ6E
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6WhR5oELp
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns3.17.80.220da2
