x
「去哪？」298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfg94kaG7f
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcY1kwl58bW
「急事。」298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa65XEh49a5
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvVEJQuwey
「你不吃晚餐？」298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3N8hyZnRH
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡop7hmmZOjG
我沒應答，逕自出門。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7CNsCfstG
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxteT9t96h
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEHjcuofvS
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2cumINlgD
難以言喻的鬱悶。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi4k7iubaC
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKZNjvOUjE
長嘆。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTlCPnM7gW
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE98PO0sUX2
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1OlWxWFzA
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzGbx5F4pF
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqIG0OY454
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpgmIsi6w6
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIG3UfKj56P
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07PjSyOvaW
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcVFWRbJKk
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzp1NJHoYG
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1XVE543Y9
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD4bwP9Ne2
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVFDyB7V9F
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbvhJQwiFl
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVclG3Qtm8
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzpw4OmROT
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SgSbyPja0
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJLycVFxTu
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXqAX3e8la
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftbgTU1Euc
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZelGUMFmy
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB8Jf1wkJt
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSBDa9FLku
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKzHKHeDow
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxJpZHw49E
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqlvAWDjm4
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19AfW6dNhv
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1HReEpqSw
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYEBTYhyJH
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RHxb5ojnp
註定的。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIZ3h5tiIc
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgWcvnKbNe
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4IVSzWWns
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyO5y7YJhHK
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQ55j7cZuT
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtmveZFe2x
停步。猶疑。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNo6vRV3Mo1
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBeEj2yihB
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9csmvKEwQ
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGIBJ6aJnF
轉身。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN64yXgrklB
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSCrnE164F
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWduYLrMGVX
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CAnhF34Pq
我回身走去。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ztWykDUjf
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjBpuYanhS
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpPddI11m9
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArvcvpwRwW
把小狗抱入懷內。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPZ46DOGpZ
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSHVMl9Voc
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4dtzsdTFF
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTCQadsORM
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DWbdwyaRX
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgwLfdAvgJ
海風？海濱公園步道？298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxKedhv5V1
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvmp74t1sU
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yltLXcB2b
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet6TGl5f1H
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6L1qi8ikF
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuiuHtL9HS
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoNxqJNFXq
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmD51ICalf
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBya8eZO12U
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELPRPwlsdU
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DTZfJFPaV
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡta764thDOk
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnL3EMkM40
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzey544KNz
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU8xylqLwZ
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7mI1SFRnJ
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhk2A2uqIY
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1LCkf3sKR
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqz5c38B7L
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIPj6sjg7Q
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSwyUe3sdh
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4ghQKTKrw
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtE51GST1Z
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnWd8V9U4j
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZAuPmiDZT
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWMJdHu0QY
鬱悶何來？298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqY3Vd4aIm
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54RsKzjvSw
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiLE6AUtMj
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaJoIxmVQE
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xX8YwDGI7
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonPTF97a63
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6kfa1Ft07
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cc8RxGRAA
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYTXEYnKhU
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNn7rVoqpZ
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Nf9vHmcxN
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe48Od9QLGG
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA69RDvof7e
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9kxvCsNOr
然後呢？根本沒有然後。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqkgMUOXzs
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyayKqJmfVo
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YsWejpqzN
298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEO6063f1r
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8MCdoxurS
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns18.116.47.33da2
