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「去哪？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7wkz2ENOS
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXWPlbdx0r
「急事。」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0uJBpy2Ol
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRPmr4JcXH
「你不吃晚餐？」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUbkxZysz5
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiUwe8czN0
我沒應答，逕自出門。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5wciDyg94
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡom7ECvTNdH
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVsy6UBCAN
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6uC31MKGK
難以言喻的鬱悶。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRJ9qyyx1z
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ25N9mIhXA
長嘆。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIPkeKKG5y
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumReThio8f
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxN14YYArx
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOGVVV6LX7
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXIJDUcTS5
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxTAmtMtBu
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c7zqu0dWf
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1CKWvYzUc
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oIxAbEhAE
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEVfvVEJUP
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOvtojGxfi
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtBwg1202l
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvdYAy5GqT
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUhrSNlpyB
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHMicFenQL
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vzEWcB2hQ
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wVTMiuwcV
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAT0HTEF5ZG
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHz6rYqSrJF
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUk0rXWjI6i
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1XjagqxG3
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc1DDyW4q1
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqKVnWi8sx
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKWGDiT25q
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhu7hqJpsB
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33xKGBlDg0
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L5YROLhbY
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCpWFEynhn
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5yZZjVx9h
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfErYIbuUD
註定的。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQbzsfZ2GJ
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmrpsBj9rK
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPiUujNip6
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbIA3UB2nz
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0vw6yLVzF
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTP24upQez
停步。猶疑。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbmabB1uKW
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uKcE2EvqN
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9LDrJBqz2
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBvfFVyeI0
轉身。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPPhIVREWH
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJlROWDQf8
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGg0q739nB
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRun6JKeBS
我回身走去。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcZNOo3UIC
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MQPL7rrpC
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGNdeCTI2L
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7eIHA1DE8
把小狗抱入懷內。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDsPKeCdvz
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aOqaOuf3T
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX0hGtrRSX
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmd71xQFxd
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChcUj4sWRm
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKOi2LTMeS
海風？海濱公園步道？330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoF8RiuJwNQ
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlQ1S7oR8b
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9XTmLmSsT
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHE7C4vhx8
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZfNMhLv5B
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMftWhHSTb
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfRWLcj7fi
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUOklW0f2N
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFxERjqxg8
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMVQ5PrfIr
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9HTzzF8ey
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJT8Pue6cA
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ30GLX6Sqx
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVzzU3S8MH
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq20RwFfn9X
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZbOmKq3SJ
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchp7hGtdmp
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9h09UDDza
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDYWVPMr4K
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8HTvXM1rx
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTnFzuIhhg
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHETNinrtPU
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rWZyACpbL
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUJSROIyIu
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqCx9jC3wE
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwaDbj14tA
鬱悶何來？330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBet1OpUbE
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UiI1jOcOF
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE7wJgSXXI
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpoOYqD6Vk
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT7lvzTsKh
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZfIgzPgjF
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSpRVPtNFu
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuZukOCkhq
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡime3POGeOs
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjVJoDZvy2
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5lUIX4EIm
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0UYVgqoaf
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYxVz0zhjp
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlZSXBTuxu
然後呢？根本沒有然後。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtpsuK5UV9
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsFMZogHWY
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZN1faPveU
330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEliZgJHtP3
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。330Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPNmGNMekd
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns18.117.157.139da2
