「你還可以嗎？」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss0IOjB16T
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTugquel3CZ
「無法不可以。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgWigxiUp5
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif7ak24dIE
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cMcFSGA0L
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxr5L3npmmf
「謝謝你。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunTInRISYj
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcredeHRXu
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1gceaHZ9i
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshGLN3SWBl
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXNoPrs9AD
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9X5PYNRQEh
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWsEgd6DLQ
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0XgWgGlb3
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6z6XeKJ1Jm
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dMWNP1ZDn
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXpCM6Doqf
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Eyv7GFQEz
「老婆……」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfsDVx9I8I
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbv3XVfeWZ
「有困難？金錢？」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6g5RVlht6P
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWMr0sTquI
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡip99vTW7C1
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGt0rk8o20
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PEY3aNSYE
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTMbgXasKe
「嗯。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9Fwd6fs4w
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tgyXSAFQy
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6tsZY9wXG
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0vOyrWKMS
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5h3YWEoPH
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHp6vQyeO5O
無能。無力。無奈。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4uwgzQ22m
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCnAHBZOw1
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8j0iVApt9
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOb2APEeiA
剪不斷，理還亂。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtXS0qt2IK
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSYUzr5QvJ
勿剪，別理。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8g8JdSMea
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyBT9EXSyu
待時日將其化解。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW5Kaa94MG
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohZuRmexGs
莫操心。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbqbNGnWZo
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVdrswjFDK
莫操心？652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOrZZsrcYX
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNJVCB41bk
如何莫操心？652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4izWpgFQod
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWGHKnGZjd
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE7EjKi0PD
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J2OMfeRz9
撐多久？如何撐？652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWb6VbK3IC3
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kI51GVG99
不知道……652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUx99VVLzS
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQc7RItBSZL
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7RVXLAPm5
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYTg7Up4jt
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HqupyavZD
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60fLloq7j1
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KpOkssCTL
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUvpuSTZTm
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfbfiABAtM
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMXNwD1UtF
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplrkKdiRys
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuOQE91dKS
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoxaNK4uPV
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbh067VNCA
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUdtHrhJxh
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32SsYiAoJo
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjojIv8N2f
我笑。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkpOIuMgp7
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRK0uUR1cv
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTO4esei9F
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiannjaJ2jC
忽爾不想回家。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1G488wFZop
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rYehHDjJc
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0cWOIy5ti
「好的。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKH4Zo3Asx
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl65RLqC5JD
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNvCrqicAl
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUZ9AjhBpv
只會苦了自己。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrCUN53epJ
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI1QY63JER
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwOMiUh46B
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0gKU1ShyT
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf4mJBv9LV
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSS5lqvO8u
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEs5SojkCK
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B6scTHK11
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSMoIrFy5S
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHPCHaK4LI
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAZl93GzWM
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb5UQUJ9BT
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbhQajjoxV
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpcEkDWHMH
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMcdpVv2E2
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1379jAW7Q
一、二、三、四、五……652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0o76DbA1Aq
註：652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlx8beXpoUv
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKhAEYSmwu
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CVXseVpBX
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchdrMe4QkK
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HNv97jLy8
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlQYKKBi2O
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4gKoAxCu5
652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZdrZKeJYf
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》652Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0QfVl2MgK
