09.243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8kqOvFQNv
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrv6KnrfgOK
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPYwNL6hR2
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHsbGZtqli
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNTUvoqb6n
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXHVbGok2S
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lTKV4mKQk
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHQUzJUnrB
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaxlmnz0d9
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzJy3S5O5P
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSji7b35b3
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tUYLttk6t
「怎麼了？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WJqXnnbj9
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1KeqTLAe8
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoTwGsfxvo
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ354ejOOHuC
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxD5fKoDoJM
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoINn5TZxZg
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYSA6jTRjt
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1GMD5nJ94
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxffTyyaY9T
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgiwDsjb5F
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLEeLvtLM0
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWkcYDVbjW
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcJrNNc6oQ
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84MiIosGTz
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqUIrddlg1
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBk3vBxOOlD
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyRU1LGAOC
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3llp872G0B
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCktg50sqPR
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnyHDwxQ1G
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHoeuP5qfo
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwCuLALPyu
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUcSYz2enO
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOT8F3oQmLg
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPeHRGLCT5
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl79fJs8yI
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2mjFqobxC
「也要。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5e216xmgp
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP3ud9sXgh
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDY46arEd9
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx37gqotPnx
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I4AKvB8Tv
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIqa5lsur2
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7uYbQGtGk
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uHuRavFBr
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiel3WyONq
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocr0HQcjdx
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYdYStSgi3
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRFqUx8p4M
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DdhjwGmEM
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Pk1fW3hdL
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBGwhxU94n
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLMvPAvVGX
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCrts2XufC
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6g5pmM1JHy
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kzR2K274w
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThhBMlUqbc
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIYxEiET43
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcg9TG9Dya
「愛的本質？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4lrO4cyAD
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXsXtpj35n
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnzML8vYVS
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuqbiMa9Kw
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZmuAOHY7S
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXLSI4LLJn
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXXNR779Xt
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC2ts1GMgD
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdapistqMBM
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTAdv6gD3A
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SgfGTho6g
「新年快樂。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6ASm3nSmt
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqAU4dvrRH
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf53X3fhs7X
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJKLN7lQOi
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOr1DSRiMB
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfTOM9PeWS
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ758yB6TKp5
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYwK4u2646
「新年快樂，傑。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMhFIwObHE
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrN4O4OHN5
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HA6j3zdtv
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUWscWwVwD
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDstILE4asY
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrSaGvAeXl
10.243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NLtBmS2vK
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS20QALPzcf
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZSoZYGv4Y
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34Fg82Cyo1
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUyeHSuPjA
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8GlVmYsi2
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRKIzbDBnB
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LZ7LcTV2Z
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJuuwsKB3m
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU1VhLCkTA
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDz9rfBEg9F
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClSGyOZKYw
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7js4AMUFC
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTn65vAXg0
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV5BfZmG5c
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOhAaOIugd
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3oZUzDLGe
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqGvCm8XBB
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHPSCIVshC
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5YhhyBVKT
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeysZqzfjV5
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ef0FUfOAs
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosUSD2MNGw
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8Pn7HRtEZ
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrVSmCwzFF
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGqWmrv6WH
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gCbcU5jxf
他對我說：不進來嗎？243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBgTg474nm
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTWE7QfCNa
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmMZbAl6iV
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmIjU5JKKN
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnTnbPKthk
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YozLLGJNd
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJN0qsZOcW
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89FRSfB4VK
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqomOowy7Z
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmV9KGP9O4s
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeqdARUNnW
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VdgZ7gv4Y
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iMsvqiuOO
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAYxORNLYp
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciqtFiC3X5
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBH8qhhkEII
我好像從未了解過他。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3K1Nn2AYI
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lj00crNED
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIJEKIELE9
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sHGRig29e
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kK6TD4TDh
「是你嗎？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluYn9ERp9u
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxP2AAqXeQ
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7fi2YRqtL
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOoqCm8038
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1caeYx75x
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOCfkyAwvd
夏油傑笑了一下。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXwkcQpgvS
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRF8jIdnEZ
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX9AAhvjJf
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2TcF7GpcJ
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ0DLv0y8h
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpBUrlCJow
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WuH4jBJko
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHFOd1VUOk
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEoayTRFgb
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kxbnCgUWA
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡym6i06lLTZ
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22JJYNIe0M
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzLRBY5nfJ
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQDQELNPlT
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W3tzPN93M
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfee2M7Lqp
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElAFSRKkeF
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNGI9pqH5E
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnz29MVnC6
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHl9LFGKoKO
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLeOoBjWR4
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBFZ9pdTkG
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6CPYOrOjo
就這樣吧。243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2cNJTziCw
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrbt768fgV
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00qzLrQtyX
243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXYuoIapme
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單243Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhQtnHRqy3
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