A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVzcprKD5J
-:-856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaA5Dr3BKi
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjzuQSH4pw
CHARACTERS856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtyIaBmDzV
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4Jc55Rx9k
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLfi5ol34b
--856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVMgWALrTT
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyeOAhrlQf
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFicXHOjr6k
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC2QUVTfgr
We don’t have much time.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDunrtqLRbc
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFmAXizkjf
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSeQZxcswK
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnbTv7unPx
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dzPk456Fy
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjz5V86N7J
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mel1XQHBN
I understand you’re upset - 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB1lrgs85n
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGOiQXflXR
I damn well am! 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvBI2BgIZs
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wK3mYQxci
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcEX0cSqlG
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2XXDMTVWW
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJp1swGcgI
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mgNabW08B
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSd8xTti1h
(slowly)856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUaNYVCbSJ
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5zwUWV15k
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwLe3APwmW
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGk3cVFuy6
What?856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlesgIB6iFI
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhc7WFpUtx
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi3DwmaAcX
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5oNpyl13V
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4M0sEIs9ri
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKmRBqTjAO
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMFMw9aDJl
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dWdDG7N7l
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNv3q3ui0B
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVLqg0O3RI
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ4g2Zl08H
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPujrszGcUO
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38eHF8M9i1
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18reZsYx92
That may be the case, but look at this.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABJ3s3sO09
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbhgp8u1CF
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCud5PJPKeH
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSSWOCAS1d
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRkoUBJ90v
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O3OAjIiE0
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFsJNNVu3r
(grimly)856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t5LTrxONw
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx24t6zXbu2
CECIL856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqIBSpMxma
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmCdr1PW1w
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsUheZje6a
XIUYING856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOI8PxNvc1
Who said anything about paying them off?856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GQ2ylDFY6
--856Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQotk9NkDLf
