108Please respect copyright.PENANAZsiG5aQiXl
我看見那碎了一地的玻璃珠。108Please respect copyright.PENANA7fiK8qnsoX
那些碎片無聲的哭著,為了不被人發現而閃著光。我可以從那些碎片裡知道他曾經完整的時刻,想像他被人愛著的樣子,那想必非常美麗吧。108Please respect copyright.PENANA7FwNrYmEPe
108Please respect copyright.PENANAxh0ZUJdyjm
美麗的,超脫人類的純粹,美好的不該出現在這個世界上。108Please respect copyright.PENANAsULAXWqKIu
所以被人打碎了。108Please respect copyright.PENANAdohCcQFbGb
108Please respect copyright.PENANAvcoBJ0A5jk
但那人一定不知道,他即便被打碎,那份美麗也不會因此有所減損。108Please respect copyright.PENANAbufeWAQmau
108Please respect copyright.PENANAqtzWMRSCJE
我可以看見他那些將人刺傷的眼淚,連同他那不願意刺傷人的溫柔,只要躺在他身邊入睡,為了不讓人受傷,他就會慢慢恢復原狀,混進一點瑪瑙色的塵埃,變得更加美麗,不被任何人取代。108Please respect copyright.PENANAZ0qzwQJGdW
108Please respect copyright.PENANABeLOgqF3F1
旁人能為他做的事,打一開始就不存在吧。108Please respect copyright.PENANAasyww8Zs9u
リンドウ需要的事物,必須由他交付給自己才行。108Please respect copyright.PENANA689Z8NYNAW
108Please respect copyright.PENANA5wqQpl451v
108Please respect copyright.PENANA0Q9FtjEkka
「你明天有甚麼安排嗎?」108Please respect copyright.PENANABrNa5EOGA9
108Please respect copyright.PENANAc9VwNFwng9
粗糙的線條在胸口遊走,他眨了眨眼睛,看著那些線條走過的地方。108Please respect copyright.PENANAogJTlH5te0
「早上有事務所的舞蹈練習,下午有錄音。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAWvGpTZkNwD
108Please respect copyright.PENANAOZTGAi0iqF
「也就是說不用脫衣服對吧。」108Please respect copyright.PENANARs2LpRsfcn
「嗯,但是……啊——」108Please respect copyright.PENANA6i8wr4JJNB
108Please respect copyright.PENANANMZBZC3gk0
但是練習後汗水流過傷口會很痛,跳舞的時候拉扯到傷口或許會流血也說不定。雖然想這麼回應,但他自己的疼痛和鮮血,跟「客人」的快樂是不能相提並論的。108Please respect copyright.PENANABkzN3gmzN5
比起做愛,那個「客人」更喜歡鞭子和蠟燭,長住的飯店裡有個房間是為他量身打造的,不管怎麼哭喊也不會被人發現,就算被發現了也不會有人理會。108Please respect copyright.PENANAruUNq0amZJ
108Please respect copyright.PENANAThiLWqCYaL
「不過下午有錄音是吧?那得小心不要叫啞了。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAHiG4hdsn3U
108Please respect copyright.PENANAGEIYYIyZ5N
他咬緊牙。108Please respect copyright.PENANAA9eVNUuamk
尖銳的只有鞭子呼嘯而過的風聲,還有不經意洩出的,連自己都不願意承認的尖叫。108Please respect copyright.PENANAcRrw9rjHJ9
108Please respect copyright.PENANAa0cg4e6zj5
「這點程度不算甚麼吧?你應該已經習慣了。」108Please respect copyright.PENANARHa000JsCi
「嗯……」他嚥下即將從喉中湧出的甜腥味。「我沒事的,請您繼續。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAIgKlVsF8SH
108Please respect copyright.PENANAwmMVjXSfE1
快點結束,快點讓這個夜晚落幕。108Please respect copyright.PENANAYJ8Rrs4kRk
不想聽見的哭聲在內心深處迴響著。108Please respect copyright.PENANAXBCuZAq9XR
108Please respect copyright.PENANAuOOQzm1OnO
這點程度不算甚麼,沒事的,沒事的。108Please respect copyright.PENANAp1mmc8oJBK
摻著腥氣的自我安慰在耳邊呢喃著。108Please respect copyright.PENANAPVg1LiUOPA
108Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZpZy1BlHE
即便那個「客人」的名字和長相早已埋沒在記憶之中,那些積累的疼痛依然不時出現在夢裡。108Please respect copyright.PENANAzRPG2Wi7YG
除了自己的聲音之外,他沒有其他能依靠的話語。108Please respect copyright.PENANAFPnareV786
108Please respect copyright.PENANAIi8h0WoWvB
謊言的水滴帶著溫熱的腥氣,從劃開的傷口處流入口中。他的飢渴無論如何都無法滿足,只是追著眼前的血液,試圖填滿心中的乾涸。108Please respect copyright.PENANAyXV9WUcitG
108Please respect copyright.PENANANsQbL8SIFc
「工作很忙的話,不用特地過來醫院也沒關係的。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAQDs0xmmeuP
108Please respect copyright.PENANA0DBnIxWB8B
晃眼的白佈滿視野,能清楚聽見的只有那溫柔的關懷,他眨了眨眼。108Please respect copyright.PENANADAywooZX2p
「不,是我想見姐姐才來的。」108Please respect copyright.PENANA5jDHjXuA7b
108Please respect copyright.PENANA8f3xZtpLTI
「不要太勉強自己喔。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3xRfhDsKH
「嗯,我知道。姐姐,我差不多該回事務所了。」108Please respect copyright.PENANALNEKcRuhpj
108Please respect copyright.PENANAsffyI3MWBh
想像以前那樣,跟姐姐說「好痛」,「好難過」,但說了也只是徒增煩惱而已,在變得想向人撒嬌之前,得快點離開才行。108Please respect copyright.PENANAA8UDF5qgZg
108Please respect copyright.PENANAWo14NkAGvi
「我很快就能出院了,總不能一直讓弟弟照顧,所以,如果你覺得累了的話……」108Please respect copyright.PENANAL1XHElXvI6
108Please respect copyright.PENANAud5VTOZAi3
讓生病的姐姐說出這種話……108Please respect copyright.PENANAovQQ9H07ZA
「姐姐,我很喜歡我現在的工作。不用擔心我,我沒事的。」108Please respect copyright.PENANA5zY64xaSgy
108Please respect copyright.PENANAKGhDVP9q8j
「這樣啊。」108Please respect copyright.PENANA827VWYn3UR
108Please respect copyright.PENANA4USrLIbgUP
姐姐皺著眉朝他笑了笑,他大概也露出了同樣的表情吧。但是面對彼此,除了蒼白的「我沒事」以外,甚麼都說不出口。108Please respect copyright.PENANAQZ3kCB9cg8
他撒謊從來沒能瞞過姐姐,姐姐的檢查報告也不可能繞過他,不管怎麼掙扎,面對的只有每況愈下的現實和彼此的謊言。108Please respect copyright.PENANAUYbZn7AegQ
108Please respect copyright.PENANAyWPtgQ3u2A
他眨了眨眼,把即將奪眶而出的淚水堵回。108Please respect copyright.PENANAtuB7Ymbrcf
108Please respect copyright.PENANAKIrkrrS7fv
108Please respect copyright.PENANA2AL9W2asWM
「你現在叫リンドウ啊?」眼前這人的名字他已經忘了,但這副帶著玩味的表情他還記憶猶新。108Please respect copyright.PENANA03gEB9028f
108Please respect copyright.PENANAOpIE9ZT8Yg
「跟你沒有關係。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAIAxSFf4ocS
108Please respect copyright.PENANAFyNw1mh8Na
「真冷淡啊,當初我們那麼要好不是嗎……」對方的手指做作的搔刮他的下巴,但這只是虛張聲勢。108Please respect copyright.PENANAFK5P0TJr9j
108Please respect copyright.PENANAy9w31lVMkG
不管是リンドウ還是對方,都不過是收藏櫃裡漂亮的展示品而已。108Please respect copyright.PENANA8zo1G2XzRU
就像リンドウ的謊一樣,對方也有保護自己尊嚴的手段。108Please respect copyright.PENANAzWAmLjYgF4
108Please respect copyright.PENANA7K34xqyVUj
リンドウ閉上眼,腦海裡浮出的是雙帶著憧憬的眼神。108Please respect copyright.PENANAEZepvsK1dw
——我一直很崇拜你,因為喜歡你才決定當偶像的。108Please respect copyright.PENANAiju2MPfUt0
108Please respect copyright.PENANAxsh66JOLCd
「你放下工作到這裡來,只是為了說這種話嗎?」108Please respect copyright.PENANAVbwaS4kdEl
リンドウ睜開眼睛,那雙憧憬早在時光中支離破碎,只剩下脆弱的自尊裹著空洞的內裡。108Please respect copyright.PENANAyVvbxtoY74
108Please respect copyright.PENANAYWukoqkYij
「不,我是來給你送信的。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAy8rGMAdKzq
對方指間夾著一封信,封口上的筆跡眼熟到讓人作嘔的程度。108Please respect copyright.PENANA0F4mtScEAN
108Please respect copyright.PENANArhbzbcmhzj
「我不會收那個人的信的。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAYYKGEATqvG
「你會收的,因為不是別人,而是我來送信的。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAgZtrxy75yZ
108Please respect copyright.PENANAa2vjsKk5JI
——偶像是這種……像妓女一樣的工作嗎?我一直以來崇拜著的,原來是這樣骯髒的人嗎?108Please respect copyright.PENANA8CR35Y4lr7
自作主張的把別人當作夢想,將一切歸罪於他人。108Please respect copyright.PENANAepYCmmhkmg
108Please respect copyright.PENANAvNQpR6DRij
——說點什麼啊,為什麼不否認?108Please respect copyright.PENANACj8shFFG8S
擅自覺得對方會因此而有罪惡感。108Please respect copyright.PENANAUIK6zhpepQ
108Please respect copyright.PENANAKXzpWhgaZ1
リンドウ冷冷地看著那封信,以及那微微顫抖的手指。108Please respect copyright.PENANAlXsVpHztiJ
並不是因為覺得對他有所虧欠,只是出於廉價的,對過去的自己的同情而已,リンドウ伸手接下那封信。108Please respect copyright.PENANAUNt74RqSMD
108Please respect copyright.PENANA2QnLiyxxDU
「我收下信了。這樣就行了吧?」他將信對折幾次,將封口上的筆跡和混亂藏起,朝對方笑了笑。108Please respect copyright.PENANAmYToo7FzTC
108Please respect copyright.PENANAsoLbDBcu7z
リンドウ的笑似乎刺傷他了,對方遊刃有餘的表情出現裂口。108Please respect copyright.PENANA8JxA1sL2HK
「……如果你也過得悲慘的話就好了。」他的手按在牆上,將リンドウ蓋在他的陰影之下。「只有你像沒事一樣站在地獄外頭微笑什麼的,太礙眼了。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAq0zQq9oaxx
108Please respect copyright.PENANAoBC27FFS4w
「所以你才告訴那個人我的行蹤嗎?」108Please respect copyright.PENANAZopnt5CgyT
108Please respect copyright.PENANAWJJno6RMDL
「只是偶然在網路上看到而已,關於你的事情總是消失的太快了,像是被誰特意藏起來一樣。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAUaxWWprYNj
108Please respect copyright.PENANAu5fRmeXmrD
像是被誰特意藏起來一樣……108Please respect copyright.PENANAA0zQ9oZmZW
リンドウ闔上眼睛,背靠著牆不做回答。108Please respect copyright.PENANAyqF7CByoy0
108Please respect copyright.PENANApFCdjpLthP
「我曾經很喜歡你的,那個人也是。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAzC2taRSt9e
睜開眼睛,對方已經離開了,或許是他開口趕走的,又或是對方自行離開的,他不記得自己是怎麼度過這段時間的。108Please respect copyright.PENANALHVegvG1Nq
108Please respect copyright.PENANACfcCYX1Bi9
不管是向雜誌爆料他的私事的人,還是一次次設計把他帶到飯店房間裡的人,那些情感收束起來都寫著扭曲的「喜歡」的字眼。108Please respect copyright.PENANAt5sfiCvJ4u
「喜歡」也好,「愛」也好,雖然知道那些詞背後蘊含了美好的事物,但那都只存在於他以外的世界裡。108Please respect copyright.PENANAZp6xrEmNtw
108Please respect copyright.PENANAmvqdE2e2su
因為「喜歡」,所以想知道,因為「喜歡」,所以想破壞掉。108Please respect copyright.PENANACf64zosEff
「喜歡」到底是甚麼呢?美麗的解釋和刺痛的記憶一同浮出,他剛相信哪邊才好?108Please respect copyright.PENANAu90yRCM88G
108Please respect copyright.PENANApwTG0IBgHG
「喂,リンドウ,你在這裡幹什麼。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAH2t2dOhNhW
——把腳張開……108Please respect copyright.PENANAmL6hNikUsH
108Please respect copyright.PENANAB5VmU8MMzO
身體不自覺地想閃避聲音的源頭,未經允許的回想起早已遠去的疼痛。108Please respect copyright.PENANAN9STWN3BhL
108Please respect copyright.PENANArrbbSA7NDH
冷靜下來,沒事的。108Please respect copyright.PENANAvL94PX7arT
リンドウ看著有些驚訝的黒曜,深吸口氣強迫自己放鬆下來。108Please respect copyright.PENANAufuP7XCM0L
108Please respect copyright.PENANAHQaFiteJ0i
沒事的,沒事的,我有好好藏起來,只是出了一點小意外而已。108Please respect copyright.PENANAIVQFIQFSRk
藏在手裡的信被捏成小團,恐慌壓縮成小塊,他眨了眨眼,熟練的收拾好表情。
連自己都保護不了甚麼的,已經是很久以前的事情了。108Please respect copyright.PENANAmsqJDiNPzc
108Please respect copyright.PENANAR0p3LMiVbu
108Please respect copyright.PENANA5fc3oVAiUi
「如果因為你的事情,而被牽連出其他見不得人的嗜好的話會很麻煩的。」那人將幾張照片扔進碎紙機裡。「所以從明天開始你就會從這個業界裡消失。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAT8lgqdDEDS
108Please respect copyright.PENANAEMEpr5yLEs
這個客人是個收藏家,正當著リンドウ的面將他那些收藏品銷毀。108Please respect copyright.PENANAOsjcreRDW7
108Please respect copyright.PENANA6z6z0kWQJv
「不過,說到消失也有很多種方法,有希望麻煩的源頭離得越遠越好的人,也有準備了項圈和地下室在等著飼養你的人。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAGDDBb0mvk3
108Please respect copyright.PENANAAqTvwujNaR
リンドウ坐在床上,用手碰了碰圈著脖子的皮革製品,莫名覺得好笑。108Please respect copyright.PENANAgDCLBzudnV
108Please respect copyright.PENANAKoN2zTjT4w
「您也打算飼養我嗎?」108Please respect copyright.PENANAKOkMp3T1RE
「怎麼會呢?你是個聰明的孩子,知道我們不會在這時候丟著你不管。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAoEKq2BhoRj
108Please respect copyright.PENANAhzMaB3SIam
潛入最深的夜裡,沾上夜晚的吻痕,當有一天他被人曝曬在陽光下時,那些親吻過他的人也將無所遁形。108Please respect copyright.PENANAoomGShZKOL
這是他所能做的唯一的算計。108Please respect copyright.PENANAVhIifeby9N
108Please respect copyright.PENANAOe81i5McbS
「你姐姐已經被轉到我熟人的醫院了,我也準備了不會過問你過去的場所,只要你安安靜靜的待在那裡不出來就行了。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAluAJnzVvT2
108Please respect copyright.PENANAWX9jTHPBLj
「這不就是飼養嗎?」108Please respect copyright.PENANAJyUojgSENa
「但籠子比較大不是嗎?而且也沒有項圈。雖然你經紀人那裡不歸我管,但我有辦法讓他找不到你,這樣你就該滿足了吧?」108Please respect copyright.PENANAE9BRV8JkWZ
108Please respect copyright.PENANAqTKzkjVkZl
滿足?108Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2Xe7vOXRN
108Please respect copyright.PENANA6dVH26xsGx
在他消失之後,那個人也只是受到些輕微的懲罰,在給人送上新的年輕祭品之後,又會回到原來的樣子吧?108Please respect copyright.PENANAR8ilYTH7Ea
他只是狼狽的逃走,將更艱難的路留給下一個替代他位子的人而已。108Please respect copyright.PENANAzvaqdJMB80
108Please respect copyright.PENANAWFq16bGD9g
滿足?108Please respect copyright.PENANAZPqYtZ6GAt
108Please respect copyright.PENANAunzbdwEG5W
「你會乖乖聽話的對吧?在關於你的收藏品都銷毀掉的現在,連你本人都得銷毀掉的話,我會很心痛的。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAdQ7KeSBDDg
那人跩住皮帶的另一端,將項圈收緊,一邊說著「愛」,一邊將氧氣從他身上奪走。108Please respect copyright.PENANASfR5WLkfeH
108Please respect copyright.PENANAdb1x4QxHtI
來做個保險吧。那人朝他晃了晃錄音筆。108Please respect copyright.PENANA4nWbMaz7Yt
「說你愛我。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8eMUGMUZQ
108Please respect copyright.PENANA7hGwuU7p1W
「我……愛您……」108Please respect copyright.PENANAScJWTfAOco
108Please respect copyright.PENANA1bbv16ZiZT
沒事的,沒事的……108Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4rtefkUNO
今天之後就能得到解脫了。108Please respect copyright.PENANAuZSQIeQBjF
108Please respect copyright.PENANAFmTR6l85Sb
——從那些「愛」著我的人的手中。108Please respect copyright.PENANAkUNNHuAEAj
108Please respect copyright.PENANAUXqHr9JqRe
「在我去見你之前,你可別逃走喔。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAmaUoiss5ly
沒事的,那個人到不了這裡,就像他無法離開這裡一樣。沒事的。108Please respect copyright.PENANAz7Ymz063SN
108Please respect copyright.PENANAygWwxSzgcb
「沒事的,リンドウ……」108Please respect copyright.PENANALrCCyEbo2N
108Please respect copyright.PENANA3oh9jZBtty
熟悉卻又喚不起名字的聲音和自己的話語重疊。108Please respect copyright.PENANAPVJGtAisaa
那是只屬於他的謊言,一旦由他人說出口,那些事似乎就會真的變得無關緊要起來。108Please respect copyright.PENANAwivDu0a1XP
108Please respect copyright.PENANA8y3JHhjbHt
「才不是……沒事……」108Please respect copyright.PENANA6joky5ro5D
喉嚨裡蓄積了無數個夜晚的鮮血,沒能填補胸口的空缺,只是黏稠的附在聲音上,在口中動彈不得。108Please respect copyright.PENANA3EPM6stbVf
108Please respect copyright.PENANAwNgnClRTXN
才不是沒事,別對我說這種話。108Please respect copyright.PENANAYXhyGE5Tko
想大聲咳嗽,讓那些透明的血液從話語身上離開——108Please respect copyright.PENANARKtwuocKwW
108Please respect copyright.PENANA33KWMQusKT
救救我。108Please respect copyright.PENANAKwutiqK51R
108Please respect copyright.PENANAz3UyTZLa0c
「這樣啊,リンドウ能說出來真是太好了。」108Please respect copyright.PENANACHao2ErBNf
108Please respect copyright.PENANATckxZkRbs8
再多說一點也沒關係。108Please respect copyright.PENANAyd1GVKntku
一隻手溫柔的撫摸著他的頭髮,會不會突然用力的拉扯髮絲,將更多他所害怕的事物擠入身體裡呢?108Please respect copyright.PENANAnmATzdJCn1
108Please respect copyright.PENANASSeHvnQl2q
「不想說也沒關係,如果リンドウ這麼期望的話,我就再多等一會吧。」108Please respect copyright.PENANAlB84v0G06e
108Please respect copyright.PENANAG1ICt16D3r
天就快亮了,在那之前做個好夢吧。108Please respect copyright.PENANA0OXh5M6te6
那隻手反覆的,輕輕地拍撫著肩,他細數著,擔心會不會在來到某個數字時將他重重打醒。108Please respect copyright.PENANAp2n9185ItS
108Please respect copyright.PENANAnKrzY9UZGp
數著,108Please respect copyright.PENANAnEC150A36t
數著,108Please respect copyright.PENANAamfBTzHeQl
數著,108Please respect copyright.PENANAyh0i3zHGie
數著,108Please respect copyright.PENANAqQN2vde6Wm
數著……108Please respect copyright.PENANA54EhvL28Ip
108Please respect copyright.PENANAteLEl2eooC
連做過的夢都不記得,只是害怕,期待,顫抖,融化在足以將雲霧撥開的溫暖裡。108Please respect copyright.PENANArNV75uLXjg