Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjbhzFOmND
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvoJfxUwJ5
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOxb9H68HK
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHTlbqULwx
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboUPOZhd7j
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmig0xXjIEm
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvYiVRMFRJ
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlC13LBJ3X
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUqPf711NB
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuGNMQFrqP
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRkuSKKOdy
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDOj0sFkUl
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgxvuFNgt6
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPGS43byox
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty5FyFH2Qt
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE7XEZVpxx
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFSJBpYNiq
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWFwSnW6ry
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mWjR1Yk1j
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i18zIcUb3
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFveGLpX5v4
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRDgjLNaPv
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5K2YJqjqsP
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6WjuMKJGV
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I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1T5XtUdRAi
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8gksHk2nZ
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQtIKE9lRA
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmJNf0eXEn
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMfD3CNZhI
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cmN86by0R
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOpwgtHF2i
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38X8MoONve
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nVlE9greG
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8DWx8rTI2
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthWXbU0EY5
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAmwyFBib6
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQovWjap6MN
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fzkqT90IC
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrS8FAXi95C
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8DeA2Fmom
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuVAFUQUCH
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LjPfrWXXT
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPwgE0TX2r
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LXRfgcZUA
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tOlpmV8u9
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Iz5xoLGn4
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3G1kI6jfS
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*•*•*•*778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQo0rjoB2q
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjEwHYv1bF
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeC90ILQz9z
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778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS09INmC6R0
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcQGDyHPg0
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZm4jStmii
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gnrIJ46oL
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKqJSJYpf1
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYvJ8AV0ce
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExyMJV15Nx
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwWi8V3tTL
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX1e0VfB74
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcBLQJ7s6O
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMZNwo5X1k
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWHhE8OWX7
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXqVrFOzEz
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWHk5TyoR9
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcBohV4ign
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv151XtKSrM
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmN3TDFT3x
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2mMQaY9sM
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpf0Qel6Dz
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jt6wfuH2l
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Rrg4MXJ3d
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU2ZCuhCfu
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwqoK1urXs
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDPxznKxmT
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLC4qX6562
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEXlTwCTXc
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqifa9qUxZo
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbL4ePMoY5w
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNbdcyfBwO
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPFFQgP8zs
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMdylS2OIW
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"It won't be painful—"778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLo0uK9VMI
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqzUlN6gVC
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf545Pt2TcX
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimvsaOGQlR
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT45Xqdvyso
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBtNCqfRCK
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0967ZjEHR
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn3EoWjOuM
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhvjxCNQXi
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRisjOU8o5Y
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMcxXpSADl
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLZF4jKgUC
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAv4hpJmGl
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAD9Ijmfpx
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I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjqUDKcgI1
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0fhktTFS2
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbISOjZxsxg
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWeWHipOiu
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However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtdsi0e2RK
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaIOU2r5QY
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This is it.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1kdbjdHtm
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnkLzMoDQq
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyRVqojjWF
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeucXg3fFyr
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdksusermBu
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs8Z4fCTTD
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB9ytJIyl1
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhndjwM2GkK
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I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgF3EPIpiL9
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuFC29ZmCg
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFBWiACZ4x
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MwNFRIdnn
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfZ7LZD6qw
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uabDjgpbc
I freeze.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEhIcIRNQR
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuDq8mWeYB
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h2E2QzwiJ
Then I breathe.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DtEhRWRyH
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobTyPS0T0V
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdRVoeAhJU
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHg1sqUBsh
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagQxxrO732
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K0ZYIbU0G
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDC4gFPiF3
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxSC6Ps2vA
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtEqgUcgQx
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonTrs4GYLV
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukULUTuuGK
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWHbUzmKIy
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlPy19FkHO
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡts8j4vJEiK
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f1omUxXA9
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmELuWnStU0
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Something isn't right.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutfNrRfLWw
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlcJ08UlaT
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMMXnGN2hQ
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAePaDjDRk
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuG2uPJLzu
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKm3VxRFMG
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk8IgdMbje
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu2BeNxT3b
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzwPhFVAEA
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwoV040WQf
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt4dE1LUEr
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczENoKFspH
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCA3Y7Nej5
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYH7lha2qBP
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJX42RTaIF
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTwiOzKbj7
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlTbeWugW6
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5ekbIDaHL
His lips twitch. 778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGPreTpeod
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWop7qQujv
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb2ekS0zvq
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqSd0lFrTm
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nfDJTCYNq
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqOmdHRphu
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMY38E172Zu
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ044lRAgose
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaP5NUa3jRx
"Okay so what do I have?"778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRUIQmgesf
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEyjfSiOYM
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkeFBAbdg3
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlzsrkiUXY
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CaN09Y1q2
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObTunxwjDx
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5iIV1IZiy
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778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojLxIJhc8N
778Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKRoMzNrmF
